EPISODE 2
I looked at the face glaring at me with a compassionate smile.
There’s no point in staring like that.
You’re just handsome, that’s all.
Truly, a good-looking person couldn’t damage their inherent beauty no matter what expression they make.
It’s so convenient to live with a good-looking face, but it’s a shame that it can’t be used for anything else.
With a heavy heart, I forced a pitiful smile.
“Maybe so.”
To the question of whether I was crazy, I simply agreed.
Amud’s face twisted even more strangely at that answer.
Well, I understand.
Originally, the woman who used to cower like a snail just from his glare was now responding confidently, which must have felt strange to him.
I also understood to some extent about his dirty personality.
The saying “a healthy mind in a healthy body” was really true.
While living with a disease that caused sudden seizures for no reason, he became the owner of a greatly distorted personality.
Then one day, a woman he couldn’t even bear to look at sat in his seat as his wife.
A mother who urged her to bear a successor as she didn’t know when she would die, and a wife who faithfully followed that order.
She was just a presence to continue the family line.
…Am I not going crazy and just enduring it?
No matter how much money and high status you have, what’s the point?
Suddenly, a resentful feeling arose.
So I decided to cut him some slack.
Above all, it wouldn’t be good for me if Amud died early.
He should live a long, long life and enjoy his old age before he dies.
It has to be that way.
Please, it has to be that way.
“Don’t look at me like that.”
He put on a serious expression again.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re looking at me as if I’m a dying puppy in pain.”
Caught off guard.
I must have given him a wistful look without realizing it.
Feeling embarrassed, I turned my gaze elsewhere.
Getting premature sympathy is very offensive to the weak and dignified Lord.
As I was sitting there with nothing to say, he suddenly snatched the medicine from my hand like a chick grabbing a worm.
“Uh…”
While I was dumbfounded, Amud quickly put the medicine in his mouth and drank some water.
He wiped the water that had dribbled down his mouth in a hurry.
“You did very well.”
I clapped my hands loudly.
As if I were praising a child’s behavior.
Amud, who had been watching the behavior, stiffened like a log, and his hand, which had been wiping the medicine-stained mouth, stopped in its tracks.
The maids were exchanging glances, clearly not understanding the situation that was unfolding.
One of them cautiously raised her index finger and twirled it around her temple.
I looked at her with a sly smile, and she spoke with a very angry face.
“Is it done now?”
“Yes.”
“So, get lost.”
“Okay.”
I got up without a word.
“Rest, then.”
After bidding him farewell, I left the room without looking back.
I felt a persistent gaze following me from behind, but I didn’t turn around.
Phew.
As soon as the door closed, I let out a long sigh.
It felt like ending a war.
My head was spinning.
“Are you okay?”
Rona, who had followed me out, asked, panting.
“It’s not something I haven’t experienced a couple of times.”
I shrugged my shoulders in response.
It really wasn’t just a couple of times.
Since I married into this family, Amud has always been the same.
Consistently arrogant and always giving me chills when he looks at me.
Touching me, seeing me, even smelling me… huh?
I jumped up from leaning against the wall, startled.
“Do I smell bad to you?”
“What?”
Rona’s eyes widened at the unfamiliar sound.
I grabbed a strand of hair that had fallen behind me and sniffed it.
But no matter how much I smelled it, only the fragrant scent of well-maintained hair lingered.
This time, I lifted my arm and sniffed.
Only the pleasant smell of soap and lightly applied perfume wafted from my body.
Well, that wasn’t the problem.
I knew the fundamental reason why he disliked me.
“Sometimes the Lord goes too far.”
“I can’t help it. Even I would hate myself.”
“But…”
Rona squeezed her hands in frustration.
“You’re pretending not to know. Other maids do the same. They call you ‘the Duke’s bitch’.”
“……”
At last, the words that came out of my mouth made Rona’s face turn pale.
“Young mistress, I, I swear…”
“I know. I’m not saying you did. But everyone else calls me that, right?”
With a nonchalant reply, Rona became even paler.
“I’m fine, just leave me alone.”
I waved my hand to dismiss her.
It wasn’t important right now.
As Rona watched my trembling hand, her expression became serious.
“Oh my, your hand, are you okay?”
Rona was shocked as she looked at my shaking hand.
“Oh.”
Finally, I took a closer look at the hand that he had grabbed earlier.
There were red marks from his strong grip, and my hand felt numb.
It was also starting to swell, and I thought it might bruise soon.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
I thought maybe a bone had been broken, but I could still move it, so it should be okay.
“It’s nothing.”
Compared to what’s coming in the future, it’s nothing.
“Young mistress, you are truly devoted.”
Sharp.
“The Lord doesn’t even know about this…”
Sharp.
Every time Rona spoke, a sharp pain pricked somewhere in my chest, causing me to flinch.
“But still, I’m glad. For the past two weeks, the Lord has been unwell, and the young mistress seemed out of sorts…”
Rona choked up as she continued speaking and abruptly covered her mouth with a gasp.
“I, I just…”
I sighed deeply as I looked at Rona, who had turned bright red and was mumbling.
“I understand. It was to be expected.”
“…What?”
It was Rona who was surprised by my overly compliant acceptance.
“It seemed like I was going crazy.”
I thought back on all the things I had done over the past two weeks.
I had been plagued by nightmares every night, waking up frequently.
I hardly ate due to lack of sleep, and even when I did sleep, I woke up quickly.
My appetite disappeared naturally due to lack of sleep, and I hardly bothered to eat.
I hardly spoke.
I would sit with a vacant expression when called, and sometimes I would shout or mumble at nothing.
I sat next to the cat in the mansion, crying and lamenting.
On rainy days, I stood in the garden, getting drenched in the rain.
And in the middle of the night, I walked around the mansion barefoot…
As I recalled each past action, my body shivered as if I had been hit by a cold wind.
Yeah, that’s right.
Yeah, you could say that was something a crazy woman would do.
“You seem to have changed a lot. Compared to before…”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, I don’t mean you were crazy. Dr. Raymond was just a little unwell.”
It was pitiful to see her trying to say something nice.
“Yeah, I was crazy.”
I waved my hand dismissively.
“No, it was the young mistress who was crazy…”
“Yeah, yeah. Thanks. I won’t forget this gratitude when my throat is fully healed.”
“What?”
“It’s nothing. Just go back to your room and rest. You look tired.”
“What? Oh, right. You haven’t been sleeping well lately, have you? Should I make you some tea? Dr. Raymond recommended a good tea for sleep.”
“Yeah, that would be great.”
I grabbed Rona’s hand as she tried to head towards the kitchen.
“Really… thank you, Rona.”
“What…?”
Rona, whose hand I was holding, looked at me with a puzzled expression.
“I feel really lucky to have you around.”
“What are you talking about all of a sudden? Are you feeling sick somewhere?”
Avoiding her scrutinizing gaze, I turned my head.
“Go and get some tea quickly.”
“Yes.”
Rona turned around and hurriedly walked away.
Watching her leave, I felt completely drained and just slumped down.
The figure of “Celené” was reflected on the polished marble floor.
She was supposed to be a lady of the manor, but somehow looked desolate and pitiful.
The shadow under her eyes looked as gaunt and bleak as Amud’s.
Her sunken cheeks showed the toll of the past two weeks of mental anguish.
The reason I couldn’t sleep for the past two weeks.
The reason was quite complicated to explain.
“Why am I ‘Celené’?”
I ruffled my hair in frustration.
I looked like a completely crazy woman.
But I wasn’t crazy.
I almost wished I were.
Wouldn’t anyone feel the same in this situation?
If one day, memories of a past life suddenly came back, who would believe such a thing?
Especially in a place… from a book I had read.
And on top of that, the role I had taken on was none other than…
“The poisonous lady who killed her husband.”
Celené was accused of poisoning her weak husband and faced a trial.
