Save Me

48. His Heart And Her Thoughts.

 

“I want to be happy for a long time.”

“That’s what I want too.”

“I have been longing to be happy.”

“I have been longing for it for a very long time too.”

You need to be healthy to do that.

What she wanted to say was simple, but Jillian’s additional words continued to be meaningful.

Bianca felt her cheeks burning for some reason and couldn’t look at him any longer, so she turned away.

“Huh?”

As she hesitated, wondering what he meant by that, Jillian quickly untangled one of his fingers and scratched her palm.

The feeling of his short, tightly-cropped nails pressing down on her palms was incredible.

Bianca was startled by the tingling sensation and nodded blindly to him who was urging her.

“You promised.”

“Yes.”

“You swear to it, right?”

What?

But Bianca never asked back.

His expression was so desperate for an answer.

“I swear.”

The tea time that followed was sweet, sultry, and quite lovely.

Bianca would often burst out laughing at Jillian’s words, who would ask questions and listen to what she said over and over again. There was nothing major though.

It was all about Bianca’s daily life, starting with how cold the weather was, how the study had a nice smell, and how she was discovering her true nature.

Even though it must have been boring because it was such trivial things, Jillian listened to Bianca.

It was an unfamiliar experience for Bianca, who had only been listening to orders.

But because she was so happy about it, Bianca ended up talking even more than usual.

As the talk drew to a close, Jillian cautioned her.

“I hope you don’t overdo it.”

“Although Creta has done this on her own, I’ll tell you in advance, I can’t do the same as her. So, of course, I’ll ask for an assistant.”

“That’s a good idea.”

“I’ve been so frustrated lately, so I thought I’d ask Creta to recommend someone bright, calm, and trustworthy.”

“Just give the order.”

“Please.”

Jillian looked surprised, but Bianca didn’t mince her words.

“I don’t like ordering people around.”

If this happy time had an end.

If this happiness was a lie.

If it was a sweet trap.

She knew for sure that this talk would come back to her as poison.

But Bianca didn’t want to be tied down to ‘what ifs’ or a future that hadn’t arrived yet.

All hesitation died the moment she met Jillian in the audience room of the Imperial Palace.

The moments that followed were a hell or a blessing for Bianca.

Her father wished for her death, her brothers turned away from her, and she was rejected by the world.

A person who no longer existed, that was her.

She wanted to live the rest of her life without regrets. That’s why she confided in Jillian, even though she wasn’t entirely sure.

When the final moment came, she wanted to find comfort in the fact that she had lived the past without regrets.

If now was the only happy moment that she had been granted, she wanted to enjoy the present without worrying about what others think.

“I don’t want to give orders. Of course, Creta won’t be able to refuse me and she might think this is just a joke. But…Still, I want to ask for it as a favor.”

“As you wish.”

Jillian nodded slowly to Bianca’s words.

It was a cool permission, quite different from the stare she had been getting the whole time.

“There are many ways to solve a problem and it doesn’t have to be coercive, right?”

“…”

“Because you are originally kind.”

At that moment, her face turned red.

She didn’t know if she was happy or embarrassed by the words he added so casually.

For some reason, her heart was pounding and Bianca had a hard time being still on her seat.

“I’ll be going now. I know you’re busy and I feel like I’ve taken up too much of your time.”

“It’s fine.”

“…Now that I think about it, there’s still work left for me to do.”

“If that’s the case…”

Jillian smiled brightly and released the hand she had been holding as if to say goodbye.

Hand?

Only then did Bianca realize that they had been holding hands the whole time.

Oh my god.

She feels goosebumps running down her neck belatedly.

“See you later.”

“Can I see you at dinner…?”

“Oh, yes. See you then.”

Bianca nodded at Jillian’s invitation and quickly left the office.

It’s been like this often these days.

She knew it sounded stupid, but after becoming aware of her feelings, she had a hard time controlling her emotions.

Even after closing the door and leaving, Bianca still had a hard time calming down.

This didn’t work, so she had to fan her flushed cheeks to cool them down.

It was a blessing that both Rappin and Julie weren’t here.

If Julie was here, she would have laughed out loud when she saw her flushed face.

And that wouldn’t be the only thing she would do.

Bianca walked down the quiet hallway, fanning herself diligently.

The soft, ankle-deep carpet was truly amazing.

White, fluffy and warm.

To step on something like this was truly a luxury she had never even imagined possible.

Of course, there was now a rule that everyone must wear dry shoes in the castle for carpet maintenance, but it was still comfortable.

While stepping on the white fur…

Suddenly, Bianca raised her head at the sight of black shoes.

“Ah!”

Rabbit skin absorbed not only the cold but also all the noises.

Bianca was startled by the sudden presence, not even realizing that there was someone else besides her around.

“Hello.”

“Oh, hello, Sir.”

Bianca was a little embarrassed by her surprised reaction, so she smiled brightly at the knight she had just encountered.

The knight’s face remained hardened this time too.

She had bumped into her in front of Jillian’s office, and this time she screamed in surprise at her, it wouldn’t be a surprise for her to feel bad.

Bianca understood her feelings, so she gave her a quick nod and tried to pass by…

If she hadn’t talked.

“Duchess. I am Elizabeth Swann, the captain of the Sixth Citadel. Greetings.”

For a woman, her voice was quite harsh and powerful.

As expected, it was fitting for a captain.

Bianca, who was trying to just brush past her, couldn’t do so because ‘Elizabeth Swan’ introduced herself properly.

“Nice to meet you, Captain Elizabeth.”

“If you are not too busy, can you spare me a moment?”

Bianca tilted her head as Elizabeth headed in the direction of Jillian’s office.

Was she going to see Jillian again?

“If only for a little while.”

“Thank you. I also have a tight schedule, so I will be brief. Please be patient.”

“What does that mean?”

Bianca felt dizzy at the unexpected harsh words.

Although she felt a sense of humiliation and faint anger, Bianca was more curious about why the knight in front of her was acting like that.

“Sir, please explain what that means properly.”

Bianca straightened her back and tried her best to keep her expression straight.

After meeting Jillian, her mind was at ease, but when she thought of this being a corner of the salon where a banquet was being held, her mind snapped.

The Abandoned Princess.

A noble bloodline that was a thorn in the eye.

When she thought that she was being looked at from all sides with malice and border-line suspicion, her previously soft expression suddenly became firm.

Elizabeth also sensed Bianca’s changed attitude, and her expression became noticeably colder.

“Right now, the Baloch Territory is in emergency mode. The waves are like wartime.”

“…”

Bianca nodded instead of answering.

Externally, Bianca was the Duchess of Baloch, the other ruler of Baloch territory.

No matter how great the captain of the castle was, she was still Jillian’s subordinate.

Bianca, Jillian’s wife and her other master, must not be looked down upon by the ‘Captain’.

After mulling over it countless times, Bianca managed to speak calmly.

“Are you trying to tell me that there is something wrong with my attitude right now?”

“That’s right.”

“For example, what would the ‘people’ think when you aren’t meeting your role conditions?”

“You have gone to meet the Duke who leads the wave.”

“…”

“At this point, when we must not let our guard down, was it a good time to shake his heart privately?”

“Sir.”

“Please, tell me where the Duke of Baloch stands? The duchesses of the past have never ventured beyond their bedrooms during these times.”

The straight, blue gaze directed at her was shining coldly.

It was creepy and grim.

It was a gaze so sharp that it gave her goosebumps.

Her heart sank as she felt like she was a burden to Jillian when she said she didn’t fit in with the role.

But, when she thought about it, it was strange.

It was just a cup of tea.

It’s one thing to be lazy during a war, but did she really have to hear that when they were at home having a cup of tea?

Was she saying that even at home, not in a battlefield, a moment of leisure was a luxury?

If anyone…

“Ah…”

Bianca groaned softly as she suddenly remembered Baloch’s nickname.

‘The inhuman Baloch’

Considering how it was so common to see Jillian fighting a wyvern alone, the 6th Citadel Captain’s current reaction was natural.

But that doesn’t mean her attitude was right now.

Therefore…

Bianca smiled at Elizabeth.

She was so scared by the murderous gaze that seemed to cut through my flesh that she almost fainted, but she gathered her courage and told herself that she couldn’t let Jillian be overworked like this.

He needed to rest too.

At least at home.

“Sir.”

Bianca called her softly.

“What does that smile mean now?”

She was used to that kind of gaze.

‘Your Highness, is it difficult for you to even straighten your back?’

She had experienced this countless times since she was a child.

‘Usually, children from noble families learn basic postures by the age of four. If even those young children can do it easily, and the eight-year-old princess has difficulty doing it, I don’t know how to tell His Majesty.’

At first glance, it seemed logical, but when one listened to it, they would tend to feel intimidated.

It was true that she failed, but there was no need to mention the comparison group and make it so clear.

It just made her feel useless.

But now Bianca knew the flaws in this type of conversation.

Again, because she was used to it.

When she was a child, her etiquette teacher didn’t tell her that she was the only one who trained for only ‘four hours’.

Because she had to crush and control her emotions, and to do that she had to have an overwhelming advantage.

The captain of the 6th castle was the same now.

The wave had ended, and now she was lashing out at Bianca, forgetting that Jillian was back ‘home’ and not in the field.

Bianca whispered, looking into the blue eyes staring at her.

“Have you forgotten how to converse politely and properly?”

“Don’t play with words.”

“Don’t act so insolent, Sir. I am the other master of Baloch. Don’t you dare order me around.”

Bianca gave a clear order to the knight, who was half a foot taller than her.

“Be polite.”

“…”

“It doesn’t matter how I look in your eyes.”

Bianca took a step forward, closing the distance between herself and the knight and glared at the woman looking down at her.

“The important thing is that I am the other master of Baloch and the only wife of Jillian Baloch.”