When he killed his first person, he had been only fourteen years old. It was an assassin who had come to take his life. By that time, Ash had already learned to manipulate mana.
As he nonchalantly wiped the blood from his cheek, he was deep in thought. There are many people who wished for his death. No one wanted him. There was no place for him. In that case, he will create a place for himself.
At some point, the expressionless boy had grown up.
Then he was eighteen. Not long after that he became the Duke of Killiard. It was also then that he founded the Knights of Philres. For the first time since becoming a duke, he hired a knight as a guard.
“My name is Ron Benjamin!”
The freckled young man saluted boldly. He was a good-natured and energetic person. He was easy to talk to and it was never boring to be around him. There were even times when he could be too energetic and it was tiring, but it still wasn’t a bad thing to have him around.
However, there aren’t many memories of him. The young man’s face, which had once been cheerful and always smiling, soon was distorted with the fear of death.
It was an explosion, clearly aimed to target Ash. He had been caught in the explosion and lost his life. After that, several other guards had also lost their lives.
Vivid memories flashed before his eyes. A cold corpse, a person poisoned, a young man crawling on the floor, vomiting blood.
‘Am I really cursed?’
If that was the case, wouldn’t it be better to not have anyone close?
After that, he decided to no longer keep a personal guard around him, but the moment he saw her, his determination wavered.
It was a name he hadn’t heard for a long time. It was someone he would never be able to see or touch. However, her presence seemed to remain with him. Before the wall was built and became insurmountable, the name became engraved and was unable to be erased. It was to the point where he hired Elaine as his escort simply because they had something in common.
What was he trying to find in her? He knew that in reality it was all just his illusion. Nevertheless, the gentle curve in her eyes and her kindness toward him made it impossible for him to let go of that illusion.
An image of someone appeared in his blurry vision, it was as if looking through the fog. Long silver hair. The back of a familiar figure.
She was walking away from him.
Where was she going? Was she going to leave him too? Would she die as well?
Did he reach out to grab her, or call for her first? It was uncertain. He couldn’t even tell if this was a dream or not. However, he was desperate, and the warmth at the tips of his fingers felt real.
His eyelids felt heavy as a faint sense of relief passed over him. His consciousness was descending again. There was a burning sensation all over his body. He felt hot, as if he had swallowed fire, his insides seemed to be melting, as if engulfed in flames.
The fire continued to burn. Bright blue flames covered the ground in an instant. Everything that came into contact with the flames lost its breath. Despair, grief and fear. Incessant screaming. A child’s cry slipping through. The sound grew louder and closer, as if it was right next to him.
Only then did he realize that the cry was coming from himself. He was crying while being carried by someone. His body was draped over the shoulder of a man who was running, continuously shaking. His tear stained vision wavering as he swayed back and forth.
Nevertheless, the scene unfolding behind them was clear. A sight he had seen over and over again. The scene was clearer than it had ever been.
At that moment, all of the flames suddenly disappeared. The burning pain and the screams of despair stopped. A deathly silence. Immediately his sinking mind was lifted from the darkness.
He opened his eyes, and that’s when he saw it.
A pair of quivering light green eyes. The moment they locked eyes, they opened wide and tears overflowed and the face that looked like it was about to break, bloomed with joy.
“Ah, thank goodness. Really, truly…”
Stifled cries could be heard. Elaine’s face was visible in the dim light of the lamp. Her fingertips slightly trembled as she caressed Ash’s cheek, not knowing what to do. It was as if he would break if she wasn’t careful. After tracing his profile over and over again, as if to engrave it, she finally smiled brightly, finally relieved.
‘Am I still dreaming?’
If it wasn’t a dream, how would he be able to see that face? That look in those eyes, as if he was the most precious thing in the world. However, the friendly voice that followed, proved it wasn’t just an illusion.
“Sir, are you finally awake?”
“…Dame Elaine.”
Why did she always smile at him like she was happy to see him, like he was special? What was he to her?
They had not been together long enough to build any strong bonds, he should be nothing more to her than a superior.
Why was she acting like he was her whole world?
Could it be that she was the person he had always been thinking of? In the end it was an absurd thought. He knew it sounded stupid, so he swallowed back the question that was rising to his lips, instead attempting to ask something else.
“How am I…”
His voice cracked, and his words were broken. When Ash started to cough, Elaine was startled. She quickly poured out some warm water from the kettle on the nightstand.
“First, please drink some water.”
He took the glass she offered. Warmth passed down his throat soothing as it went. His mind started to become clearer. He tried thinking back to the memories he had dreamt of before regaining consciousness, then frowned when a faint headache appeared.
