RPWS Chapter 096

While they were listening to the long story, the sun had completely set. The sky, once scarlet, had fallen into darkness, like black paint.

Whoosh-

The sound of the waves crashing against the shoreline, pierced her ears. The stars in the dark sky cast a faint light on the white sandy beach where Elaine, who’d just arrived there, saw the familiar figure standing on the pure white sand.

‘Ash…’

After finishing his conversation with Talos, Ash left the inn, telling her that he’d be back in a while. Elaine hadn’t followed him out, assuming that he might need some time alone.

But when time passed and he didn’t return, the worry that’d been nagging at her all along was too much to ignore and she went in search of him.

Ash was staring at the dark sea with his back turned to her.

Had he been here the whole time? What’d he been pondering, alone, for so long?

She couldn’t imagine how devastating Seveka’s truth must’ve been for him, having suffered under his mother’s name all his life.

He’d lost his mother, his father, and the one person who’d stood by his side as a child in their place.

He must be struggling with all the pain.

She didn’t know if she’d be intruding if she approached him now, or if she even deserved to.

But the image of him standing alone, facing the open sea, made her heart sink.

Elaine hesitated for a moment before slowly approaching. Her footsteps made a soft crunching sound on the white sand.

The whole time she approached, Ash kept his gaze on the sea. Elaine stopped a few steps away from him.

“… Your Grace.”

The quiet call reached him through the roar of the waves. Ash turned slowly toward her.

“Elaine.”

His voice was soft, face calm as usual. His eyes, filled with a mixture of anger and confusion, were deep, like the sea.

Elaine lowered her gaze.

“It was late and you didn’t come back inside. I was worried…”

“Has that much time passed already?”

Ash briefly closed his eyes, then looked up at the dark sky. He’d told her he’d only be a few minutes, but it seems he’d been lost in thought for a long time without realizing it.

“I made you worry for no reason.”

“No, it’s just because I was concerned.”

Seeing her shaking her head, Ash suddenly asked.

“Now that I think about it, what about him?”

“I placed a magic seal on Talos, as you instructed.”

It was unlikely that Talos would escape after confessing his guilt, but she had to be prepared just in case. Talos complied without protest.

“I see.”

Ash muttered in reply. He cast his gaze out to the sea again. In a low voice, he said.

“I’ll stay a while longer. I don’t feel like going in yet.”

“Then… I’d like to stay here, too. …Is that okay?”

There was a hesitation at the end of her question, just in case he didn’t want her to. After a pause, he replied.

“…Okay.”

The two of them stared ahead in silence. The moonlight bounced off the crystal-clear water. Their surroundings were silent.

Elaine swallowed the words that were forming in her mouth. All she could do was be there for him, by his side, knowing that no words would comfort him now.

The waves lapped at her toes, then ebbed and flowed away. Suddenly, Ash spoke.

“When I was very young, Walter sometimes spoke about my mother.”

Elaine glanced up, her gaze resting on the side of Ash’s face.

“He was a close friend of my father’s, so he had a connection to her. The mother he spoke of was strong and loving.”

But what does that matter? The past is nothing but a laughable contradiction in the face of the present, he thought.

Elaine listened to Ash as he spoke. His eyes were looking into the distance, recalling the past.

“Do you remember the time we encountered Specters in Ghost Mountain?”

Elaine’s mind naturally wandered back to that time. She could still remember the moment Ash woke her from the nightmare of the Specters hallucinations. Why was he asking that?

“Yes, I remember.”

Elaine nodded, and Ash continued.

“At that time, I also had a hallucination.”

It was a story he’d never told anyone. Or rather, what he couldn’t quite bring himself to say.

“It was a memory I didn’t even remember, the moment of Seveka’s destruction.”

It was a real hell, not just a fiction fabricated by hallucinations. There was no need to make it up, because there was no nightmare crueler and more terrible than that.

Fire swept through the city. Death overflowed. Screams, shrieks, and howls pierced the sky. A night of blood and slaughter. A tragedy created by a witch, his mother.

“Watching that hell, I thought… Maybe my mother was a monster, like they said, and I, born of such a mother, wasn’t sure if I could be anything but a monster.”

“That… That’s not true, Sir. You aren’t a monster.”

Elaine shook her head vigorously.

She had no idea that Ash had seen something like that at Ghost Mountain. Because he didn’t show it at all.

He alone remembered the horror of that night, and the emotion he felt when he saw it were evident in his words.

“Why are you saying that? What happened wasn’t your mother’s fault.”

“Yes, it wasn’t her fault, I realize that now.”

“…”

Ash’s eyes deepened even further.

The border of the horizon, immersed in darkness, was difficult to see.

He was blind to what lay beneath the surface, obscured by the darkness that invaded his vision.

Not knowing didn’t make him feel any less regret or self-blame.

He’d considered his mother’s name a shackle, and never understood his father’s love for her.

Then…

The things he’d tried so hard to subdue rose up inside him. Like a storm that grew stronger and stronger. Ash closed his eyes for a long moment to push them back down.

He was accustomed to swallowing his emotions. When he opened his eyes again, he looked at the night sky.

“A lot of time has passed. We’d better go back in.”

He turned around, as if he’d finished his story, but Elaine’s face was still dark. He smiled on purpose.

“It’s okay now, so you don’t have to look so worried.”

“… How can you do that?”

“What?”

“You’re not okay, so how…”

Biting her lip, Elaine looked up at him.

Her gaze met his. She saw the dryness in his seemingly nonchalant eyes.

What the hell was ‘okay’?

What was important to him, what should’ve been important to him, the happiness he deserved. He’s lost too much, suffered pain he shouldn’t have, and the circumstances and truth surrounding his past and present were just too harsh.

“Why… You always try to hold it in, saying you’re okay, when you’re not.”

He covered up the pain with a nonchalant face, trying to reassure her even as blood flowed from his gaping wounds.

Even looking at him made her heart ache.

“It’s so hard to hold it in, you know, just be honest with yourself…”

Her voice trembled as she spoke. Something hot filled her chest and rose, filling her throat and welling up.

Ash stared at her, dumbfounded. Transparent tears soaked her white cheeks and rolled down her face. She was crying

His eyes wavered. He lifted his stiff hand and gently cupped her cheek. The eyes that looked down at the crying woman trembled slightly. As he wiped away her tears, he spoke in a hoarse voice.

“…Why are you crying?”

“…”

“I don’t know why you’re crying.”

He looked confused. Like he was looking at something he couldn’t quite understand.

He was close enough to see her long silver eyelashes trembling. Tear-stained green eyes looked back at him.

“Because you don’t cry.”

Even though she tried to hold back her tears, it didn’t work. Her heart felt like it was being sliced open. The life he’d lived was so hard, it was pitiful.

Nevertheless, she felt sorry for him because he was so used to swallowing and suppressing everything all the time that he didn’t even know how to shed tears.

Why did he have to suffer so much pain? How much more will he have to suffer in the future?

“You…”

Ash pursed his lips. He couldn’t take his gaze off the eyes that reflect him as they shed tears non-stop.

What could he do?

She cried, looking like she was in pain, grieved over his work as if it were her own, getting angry in his stead, and acted like she wanted to take on everything for him.

He wiped away her tears again, but they wouldn’t stop.

Crying on behalf of someone who couldn’t cry themself.

He remembered what she said again.

She’d told him not to hold it in, that it was okay to be honest.

As he pondered those words, he looked back at all the things he’d taken for granted.

He still didn’t know how to cry, but he vaguely realized something.

Ash let the vague sensation slip out of his mouth, seeing himself reflected in her eyes.

“Yeah, maybe I’m a little… tired.”

A bitter smile tugged at the corners of his mouth.

He brushed the corners of her eyes once more, then slowly leaned down toward her. His silky black hair spilled over her slender shoulders. He buried his forehead in her neck and asked.

“…Do you mind if I stay like this for a moment?”

Elaine’s eyes narrowed slightly in surprise, then wavered.

His body temperature had dropped slightly, but he wasn’t heavy. However, something else weighed heavily on her heart. Perhaps it was the weight of the life she’s been carrying with her.

Elaine answered quietly.

“…Yes.”

She hesitated, then placed her hand on his back, stroking it slowly. The tears still flowed nonstop, and she couldn’t find the words to comfort him, but she hoped this would give him a short respite.