Episode 43: I Don’t Believe, I Don’t Buy, I Don’t Do (14)

Sodam thought she was being subtle, but to Juyul, her little scheme was laughably obvious. He snorted, grabbing the hand that was still poking at his shoulder before pointedly calling her out on it.

“Oh, so you’re planning to steal my jacket because you’re cold?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘steal’—I’d say ‘gratefully accept.’”

At her shameless response, Juyul let out a quiet sigh and stuffed his hand into his jacket pocket. Even he had to admit he felt a little guilty, seeing her trembling and stammering after guiding him.

Sodam watched eagerly, convinced he was about to take out his belongings and hand over the jacket. But instead of that, what emerged from his pocket was a heat pack—one still burning red, far hotter than the one she’d been given earlier.

Before she could protest, he swiftly grabbed her wrist, yanked up her sleeve, and slapped the heat pack against her pale forearm. A sudden wave of warmth shot through her body.

After two weeks without proper guiding, the cold she felt was something beyond even the bitter winters of Russia, making this simple act feel almost tearfully considerate.

That is, until Juyul opened his mouth and ruined it.

“Keep this on. You won’t be taking it off anytime soon.”

“Thanks— Wait, what? Why not?”

“Don’t play dumb.”

With a casual shrug, Juyul made it clear he couldn’t care less about whatever rising sense of dread she was feeling. He stood up smoothly, brushing off his pants.

To her surprise, he did take off his thick jacket and drape it over her shoulders. But considering what he said next, she wasn’t sure whether she should be grateful or start cursing.

Unlike her, still shivering uncontrollably, Juyul walked effortlessly to the door, perfectly steady. She watched in jealousy as he reached for the handle—the very one she had struggled with earlier—and turned it with ease.

Just before stepping out, he glanced back at her and tossed out one last remark.

“Oh, and I’ll be calling for you again next week. So don’t do anything stupid. Don’t go guiding some other Esper and end up getting carried out on a stretcher.”

“H-How the hell am I supposed to guide someone else in this condition?!”

“Perfect, then.”

Compared to Sodam’s outburst, thick with frustration, Juyul’s response was maddeningly indifferent.

Once the door shut completely behind him, she was left alone, rubbing warmth back into her shoulders and legs, which were finally starting to feel less frozen.

His words were something she desperately wanted to erase from her memory. Even more baffling than his unexpected generosity—the jacket, the heat pack—was something else entirely.

“…Did he just… smile?”

It had been brief, but she was sure of it. His smirk was burned into her retinas, refusing to fade.

And so, for a long while, Sodam sat there, completely dazed, replaying that fleeting smile over and over in her mind.

* * *

Click.

Had the sound of this wretched door closing ever felt this satisfying before?

To Juyul, that familiar click of the guiding room’s door was no different from the metallic scrape of a prison cell locking shut.

Others might see a perfectly furnished guiding room, but to him, it was an inescapable prison. A place where he was forced to endure disgusting physical contact with people who believed they had the right to touch him simply because they had awakened as guides.

It wouldn’t even be an exaggeration to call it worse than an actual prison.

‘But… since when did this stop bothering me?’

The guiding room Juyul loathed so much had been the same as always—so pristine it could put a hotel suite to shame. The king-sized bed was immaculately made, the air inside was stiflingly warm the moment he walked in, and not a single speck of dust could be seen on the water purifier.

Everything about that room had irritated him before. But today, none of it had gotten under his skin.

And the only difference… was the person who had walked in after him.

Maeng Sodam.

From the moment he laid eyes on her, the guiding room, his distaste, his usual thoughts—none of it had mattered. His mind had been too occupied, too busy taking in everything about her after two weeks apart, committing each detail to memory.

Which meant that the reason the guiding room hadn’t felt unbearable today…

Juyul came to an abrupt halt in the hallway, the truth settling over him like a heavy weight.

“…Just what the hell is that woman doing to me?”

Even saying it out loud did nothing to clear his head. If anything, the answer became even more elusive.

Especially when he thought back to the first time he had met Maeng Sodam.

“What’s the matter? You don’t like women who are as pretty as you, ‘young master’?”

“Just lie down already, ‘young master.’ I’ll make this quick.”

“Ha! Hahaha! Now you finally sound like an Esper. No matter how much you pretend to have manners or act all high and mighty, this is who you really are—a beast starving for guiding.”

A woman who had once been nothing short of arrogant.

Drenched in cheap perfume, wearing an outfit that was far too revealing even for the sweltering heat, she had vanished overnight.

It was suspicious, yes. But at the time, Juyul had known he had no solid evidence to brand her a spy. And yet, he had still gone out of his way to have Seonghwa keep an eye on her, tracking her every move.

It left a bitter taste in his mouth—he could have simply refused to guide with her, but instead, he had dug into her life, exposing details that were none of his business.

‘The truth is, from the very beginning until now, she’s never once been eager to see me…’

If, by some absurd chance, Sodam had been a spy, she would have welcomed his repeated guiding summons with open arms. Maybe she would have feigned some reluctance at first to win his favor, but by the fourth or fifth session, she would have at least pretended to be comfortable around him.

Yet no matter how many times they met, Sodam’s expression always screamed: If it weren’t for the money…

‘No one could fake that this well. That has to be how she really feels.’

Every time she entered the guiding room, she looked like a cow being dragged to the slaughterhouse. And the moment they started, she threw herself into it with all the urgency of an elementary schooler scrambling to finish their overdue vacation homework.

Watching her so blatantly focused on getting the job done, cashing out, and leaving as quickly as possible—something about it made him want to tease her.

‘…Because every time she sees me, her ears go red, yet she still treats me like nothing more than a job.’

He had spent his entire life pushing away people who approached him with emotions, yet now that the situation was reversed, he had no idea how to respond.

So instead, he reacted to Sodam’s responses—his usual self slipping, becoming more and more playful.

One joke, two jokes, three. One tease, two, three.

And no matter how many times he poked at her, she always gave him a fresh reaction.

He had to admit it.

It was… fun.

And finally, Juyul had no choice but to acknowledge the truth.

‘The way she guides me with such surprisingly pure energy, the way she snaps at me so fearlessly yet still laughs so easily, the way she insists on giving me proper guiding even when I don’t ask for it… all of it…’

Even Juyul’s own actions—his refusal of Seonghwa’s proposal, his insistence on returning to Korea—were undoubtedly an extension of this feeling.

Too blatant to be called romantic, yet too warm to be driven purely by lust.

After some thought, Juyul decided to name this feeling “jeong”—the uniquely Korean concept of deep, lingering attachment.

‘They say the most dangerous thing between an Esper and a Guide is developing attachment through the body. I never thought I’d be the one proving that right…’

And with that, everything—everything—made sense.

The way Sodam refused to leave his thoughts, even when he had thrown himself into a suppression mission just to escape her presence.

The way contamination, which had once been tolerable, suddenly felt unbearably painful after meeting her.

The way he had insisted, so stubbornly, that only she could guide him.

‘I should buy her more heat packs and thicker clothes. …Lip balm too.’

The moment lip balm crossed his mind, Juyul unconsciously rubbed his own lips.

The impulse-driven kiss had confirmed something unexpected—her lips were rougher than the raggedy clothes she wore. If she wouldn’t take care of herself, then as the only Esper she guided, it was his job to do it.

He hadn’t fully grasped why the urge had struck him, but one thing was certain: he was satisfied with the result.

For that brief moment, Sodam’s full attention had been locked onto him alone. And the energy he received—far more refined than usual—had been the only thing capable of clearing his suffocating breath.

Juyul had already suspected his emotions were off when he found himself more drawn to the sight of Sodam shivering in his stolen jacket after guiding, rather than seeing her dressed appropriately for the weather.

But if he framed this as the possessiveness an Esper naturally felt toward their Guide, it was easier to rationalize.

Truthfully, he liked his first proper Guide. Enough that the idea of making her his personal Guide seemed reasonable.

Even if the official route was out of the question, keeping her physically close through regular guiding didn’t seem like a bad alternative.

And with the possibility that someone out there was targeting her, having her by his side would be the safest option—for both of them.

Once his thoughts settled, his decision came easily.

Now, the only thing left to consider… was how she would react.

“Would she be happy about the money… or hate it because it feels like a burden?”

 

 

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