Episode 40: I Don’t Believe, I Don’t Buy, I Don’t Do (11)

The truth was, merely being unable to resist would have been a blessing. What Sodam did to him was akin to letting a few droplets of water fall onto parched soil, only exacerbating his thirst for her. The first time he tasted the warmth of her touch, it left a craving so deep that it only grew more unbearable with time.

Even as he told himself it was just Guiding, the wild desire that surged like an untamed beast refused to be silenced. The relentless urge to connect with her more deeply, more completely, kept resurfacing, haunting him.

“Crazy bastard.”

The faint suspicion that she might still be a spy was the only brake keeping him in check. But if even Seonghwa, with his ever-watchful eye, found nothing suspicious about her—if she truly turned out to be innocent—Juyul wasn’t sure how he himself would behave.

At that moment—

♪♬♩♪♬─

“Did you catch anything?”

[Ah… the Guide Maeng Sodam? No, not at all. At this point, she just seems like a regular Guide.]

“Then why are you calling?”

[It’s nothing major. I was just wondering—shouldn’t we lift the restriction on her Guiding other Espers?]

“And what if one of those Espers turns out to be a contact? Do you think my father would sit back and let that slide?”

[That’s why I’m suggesting this. You know how terrifying your father can be. If he double-checks and ensures the Espers she’s matched with are safe, wouldn’t that be fine?]

“…”

[I just feel like, if we go this far and it turns out she’s not involved, we’d owe her an apology. Even the intelligence department said there’s no suspicious financial activity on her end. In fact, it seems like she’s completely broke—she might not even be able to afford next month’s rent.]

“…”

When Juyul first saw her head straight to the waiting room the moment he left the country, he wasn’t surprised. It fit his expectations. But for her to endure this long—Sodam, or Maeng Sodam, as she was—might actually be nothing more than a regular Guide.

As for her sudden change in behavior… well, maybe she really had lost her memory, as she claimed.

[If you still can’t trust her, I’ll have her guide me. You wouldn’t suspect me of being a spy, would you, my friend?]

Seonghwa’s voice, lighthearted and full of laughter, delivered a suggestion that wasn’t half bad.

If it turned out his suspicions were unfounded, letting her guide an S-class Hunter like Seonghwa would be a fitting apology. It would also grant her some prestige, which could ease some of the financial struggles she was drowning in. Knowing Seonghwa, he would probably throw in a generous bonus on top of the association’s payment, which would be a golden opportunity for someone like Sodam, buried under debt.

Everything seemed to line up perfectly.

And yet, something about it grated on Juyul, tugging incessantly at his nerves.

[Hey, why aren’t you saying anything? Don’t tell me it’s true. I might start feeling hurt.]

“…No, of course not. Do you think I’d ever suspect you of that?”

[…Right. As long as my father is around, that wouldn’t happen. So, should I go ahead and take the Guiding instead? What do you think?]

It would’ve been easy to say “sure, go ahead” without a second thought. But the idea of Maeng Sodam holding Seonghwa’s hand, guiding him, or worse—doing something more intimate—crept into his mind.

The thought of another Esper lying beside her, of someone other than him receiving her undivided attention…

“No. I’ll be back soon anyway, so it’s better if I handle it myself. After all, I’ve already received Guiding from her a few times.”

[Huh? Are you serious? You were supposed to come back next month. Are you sure that’s okay?]

“Whether it’s okay or not is up to me. If an Esper wants Guiding, who’s going to stop them?”

[Then why not just call Maeng Sodam here? Most Espers take their Guides with them when traveling abroad.]

“No. That won’t work here.”

Even in the familiar confines of the Guiding room he’d used since childhood, intrusive thoughts about her had been difficult to suppress. Conducting Guiding in an unfamiliar hotel room? He didn’t trust himself to hold back. He’d conveniently pushed the fact that he still had over half the time remaining on his self-imposed timeline out of his mind.

Regardless of whether she was a spy, one thing remained true: he couldn’t touch her. And now that her innocence seemed increasingly likely, he had even more reason to keep his distance. It was his baseless suspicions that had disrupted her life, and he wasn’t about to add more to her burdens.

Seonghwa, caught off guard by Juyul’s unusually genuine tone, reluctantly agreed.

[Alright, fine. So, when are you coming back?]

“I’m on my way to the airport now.”

[…What?]

“See you soon.”

[Wait, Juyul! Are you—Hey! Baek Juyul!]

Ignoring Seonghwa’s shouts, which grew fainter by the second, Juyul casually grabbed his luggage. His abrupt return was bound to shock everyone—the pilot scrambling to prepare for a sudden night flight, and Sodam, wasting time in the Guiding waiting room, oblivious to the storm heading her way.

If the staff member pulling Sodam along had been the B-class Guide she’d met on her first day, they might’ve used her weaknesses to forcefully drag her along. But as a regular person, the employee seemed to think that being connected to someone as famous as Juyul was simply a great honor.

‘Wait, is this person even normal? Are they an Esper? Why are they so strong?’

The employee’s face was friendly and gentle, yet their grip on Sodam’s hand was absurdly firm. No matter how hard she tried to pull away, the harder their hold became.

Eventually, Sodam gave up on escaping and resigned herself to jogging along behind them.

“Huff… But… do we… have to… run…?” she gasped between breaths.

“Oh my! Guide Maeng Sodam, how are you so out of shape? We only ran down four flights of stairs!”

“Why… huff… would you run… instead of… taking the elevator?!”

“There’s no time to wait for the elevator! The Esper is already in the Guiding room!”

“That… and this… huff… aren’t related at all…”

Sodam, who had been countering every word the employee said, finally fell silent when her mouth grew dry. No matter how much she argued, the employee would probably just flash a bright smile and say, “Nope, sorry!^^” anyway.

It became clear at this point that the staff member wasn’t failing to understand Sodam’s plight—they were simply ignoring it. Matching their relentless pace, Sodam soon found herself standing in front of the Guiding room. The employee, who even opened the door for her to prevent any escape, beamed at her.

“Well, good luck with the Guiding! Go on in!”

“……”

“Don’t be shy, now. Hurry along!”

Before she could hesitate further, the staff member gave her a firm push on the back, propelling her into the room. Despite Sodam trying to dig her heels in, the force was enough to send her stumbling inside.

Click.

The door closed behind her with almost theatrical timing, and Sodam couldn’t help but admire the staff member’s finesse. She jiggled the doorknob a few times in vain before finally accepting defeat and turning to face the room.

The Guiding room felt less warm than usual, though Sodam suspected it wasn’t the room—it was Baek Juyul.

“Is the idea of Guiding me really so unpleasant?”

“Haha, no, not at all! It’s an honor, truly…”

‘No, it’s not the room—it’s him. Baek Juyul feels even colder today…’

Considering how she’d been practically shoved into the room, it was understandable for Juyul to be annoyed. But Sodam had her own grievances about this absurd situation. Taking a deep breath, she mustered some courage, lifted her head to meet Juyul’s gaze, and promptly dropped it back to the floor.

“I wasn’t trying to avoid you, Esper Baek Juyul. It’s just… I wasn’t even asked if I wanted to come, and I got dragged here without any warning. That’s a bit frustrating, you know…”

‘What’s with his glare? Did I say something that bad? All I wanted was to stay in the waiting room!’

Her voice grew meeker as she spoke, and she couldn’t help but shrink under Juyul’s intense gaze. Ideally, she would’ve fired back at him like she would at any other unreasonable customer, but Baek Juyul was no ordinary client. He was a super SSS-class Esper, and more importantly, her only source of income through the association. Sodam’s survival instincts kicked in, and she adopted her most subservient tone.

“Oh! Of course, if someone had asked me, I would’ve come right away. I’ve been so worried about not being able to Guide you…”

“Hmm. Is that so? Then how about joining me on the next overseas mission?”

“…What? Wait, why are we jumping to that? I just meant emotionally! You know, in spirit.”

Even if he was an SSS-class Esper, some things were a bridge too far. The thought of following him to distant countries and draining her stamina with constant Guiding sounded like a nightmare. Maybe if they offered her a billion won… No, even then—

‘Focus, Maeng Sodam! Don’t let money cloud your judgment!’

…But then again, was her current state of poverty—with her gas cut off and barely enough money for meals—really “stability”?

Lost in her spiraling thoughts, Sodam was yanked back to reality by Juyul’s voice.

“We’ll talk about that later. For now, come over here.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’re here to Guide me, aren’t you? Come here already.”

The uncharacteristically gentle tone in Juyul’s voice only made Sodam more uneasy. She forced a smile and slowly shuffled toward the bed where he was sitting.

Two weeks ago, she had spent so much time on that bed that it felt monotonous. But today, it felt strangely unfamiliar. She realized why—it was because Juyul was already sitting there. Usually, she would arrive first and wait for him.

Awkwardly perching herself on the edge of the bed, as far from Juyul as possible, Sodam scratched the back of her neck and tried to explain.

“I didn’t mean to be late or anything. I was just quietly waiting in the Guiding room, but the staff said they were looking all over for me. I think there might’ve been some miscommunication among them, haha…”

She trailed off, realizing how ridiculous she sounded. It was embarrassing to babble about things he clearly didn’t care about.

But contrary to her assumptions, Juyul was listening intently, his gaze never leaving her.

“…Yeah, that’s what I was curious about.”

“Uh… curious about what, exactly?”

“What do you think, Guide Maeng Sodam?”

“It’s not about the staff’s communication issues… so… the waiting room?”

As the brief exchange continued, the distance between Juyul and Sodam steadily shrank. Sodam attempted to scoot further away, but Juyul closed the gap far more quickly than she could avoid him.

Eventually, there was nowhere left for her to go. The space between them was barely the width of a sheet of A4 paper.

Juyul reached out, gently tilting Sodam’s chin to face him, forcing her dark eyes to meet his. His gaze was sharp, unwavering, as he asked her directly.

“Exactly. So why were you there?”

“Uh… to Guide?”

“And why were you Guiding there? You’re already collapsing after Guiding just me.”

“That’s only because Esper Baek Juyul is too powerful! Besides, I’ve been resting, and with other Espers, I wouldn’t collapse just from a little Guiding.”

Her voice betrayed her flustered state, but Juyul’s tone grew colder and colder. The faint traces of humor that had lingered in his expression earlier were now entirely gone. His face was like stone, and the room felt like it had been plunged into icy tension. Sodam, nervously darting her eyes around for some escape, cautiously added:

“If you’re worried that I might not have enough energy left to Guide you, you don’t need to. I’ve been practicing and picking up some tricks along the way.”

“…Oh, so you’ve been practicing. I see. What kind of insane Esper agreed to be a practice dummy for an F-class Guide?”

“Well, uh… someone. Someone you wouldn’t know, Esper Baek Juyul.”

She was blissfully unaware that Juyul knew about her every move while he was away. If such an Esper actually existed, Seonghwa would have undoubtedly reported it. Her flimsy excuse, paired with her oblivious confidence, snuffed out any lingering intention Juyul had of quietly letting the matter go.

Sodam, meanwhile, utterly clueless about the storm brewing within him, had just played the worst possible card.

 

 

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