Episode 35: I Don’t Believe, I Don’t Buy, I Don’t Do (6)

Grit. There were countless things Sodam wanted to say, starting with, “What do you even know?” But the fear that his pale hand might fly to her neck if she so much as upset him stole her voice entirely.

Even hearing his words left a mark, like a faint slash across her heart. And hadn’t she already been paying more attention than she should to Juyul’s unusually quiet behavior these past weeks?

She’d considered looking into it once or twice, but she always turned her gaze away, determined to stick to her role as a possessor. True, Juyul was so famous that rumors about him occasionally reached her ears, but the one thing she prided herself on was not actively seeking out information about him. It was her last shred of self-respect.

She hadn’t even thought of Baek Juyul’s “B”—at least, not until this unpleasant piece of trash had pointed it out so blatantly!

‘…Okay, correction. Maybe up to the “Baek.”’

Having declared this in her mind, she felt her briefly spiraling thoughts return to order. At first, she’d felt as though her hidden truth had been exposed, which had made her emotional. But now that she was thinking clearly again, she was more embarrassed about having been shaken at all.

‘Thinking about the protagonist when I’m just some extra villain whose name only appears a few times? Total possessor failure. For the sake of my peaceful life as a possessor, staying completely out of his life is the best course of action.’

After giving herself a verbal slap a few more times, the heavy weight that had been unknowingly sitting on her chest finally lifted. Even the pocketknife she was gripping so tightly her palm ached added to that sense of relief. At this point, she felt she could put on a more natural smile than ever before.

Taking a deep breath, Sodam plastered a bright smile across her face and responded confidently.

“Of course. Everyone knows Esper Baek Juyul has been dispatched overseas. He’s such a picky person; there’s no way he’d look for a new Guide there. When he returns, who else would he seek out as a Guide but me? Surely not some complete stranger.”

‘Obviously, the latter. It’s about time Handaram entered the picture. The overseas dispatch will end in about a month, and by then, Handaram, the rookie, will be the one settling in as his emotional anchor beside a thoroughly worn-out Baek Juyul.’

Whatever Sodam might have been thinking, her outward appearance exuded pure confidence. It wasn’t the polite business smile she used to wear, either. The way one corner of her mouth lifted slightly made her look more like a villain straight out of a storybook.

‘Whatever. At best, I’m a third-rate—no, ninth-rate extra. Showing this much flair should keep him from suspecting I’m acting, right?’

Thankfully, her gamble of an outburst seemed to have worked, as Muyeon showed no sign of doubt, only gracing her with a faint smile. Perhaps this demeanor was even closer to how the body’s original owner had behaved, leading him to underestimate her entirely.

Just as she was thinking this, Muyeon casually extended a hand toward her, startling her into taking an instinctive step back. She awkwardly laughed it off, returning to her position with an exaggerated smile.

“Oh, I’ve just been on edge lately. There are so many jealous people around…”

“That’s understandable. I merely intended to offer you the blessing I always do. Would you mind giving me your hand?”

“Ah… uh…”

Looking at his outstretched hand, as though he were a gentleman asking for a dance, Sodam realized she had no way out. If Muyeon had orchestrated this moment, then he was far more devious and dangerous than she had initially thought. Swallowing her dry throat, she hesitantly placed her hand in his.

At that instant, oddly enough, Juyul’s face flashed through her mind. The sudden surge of rejection that followed made her fingers twitch.

But it wasn’t long before her thoughts shifted back to the Association walls, and reality grounded her once more.

If what Juyul had said about the Association’s walls having eyes and ears was true, then right now, it might look as though Sodam was giving another Esper a free Guiding session. If their conversation was also being monitored, that would raise even more suspicions.

Ignoring the inexplicable pounding in her chest, Sodam forced herself to think in a way that justified her actions.

‘If this somehow gets out and Baek Juyul ends up absolutely despising me because of it, that’d actually be great. The Guiding sessions I gave him can just be chalked up to, uh, a possessor’s privilege or something.’

An F-class Guide with neither skills nor power had already experienced far more with the protagonist than she ever deserved. She had enjoyed this over-the-top privilege long enough.

By flaunting her harmlessness to this trash of a man, she might stop being a target for his murderous intentions. And with the weapon she now carried everywhere, she wouldn’t be caught off guard so easily again. Wrapping herself in this false sense of resolve, Sodam offered Muyeon a beaming smile and placed her hand in his.

Her wandering thoughts snapped back to the present the moment she felt something unexpected.

“…?”

“When I hold your hand, you always say it makes you feel at ease. I hope I could help you again today,” Muyeon said with his signature kind smile as he slowly released her hand.

To her own confusion, Sodam instinctively leaned forward as if to chase his retreating hand. It was an action even she couldn’t explain.

Seeing her flustered reaction, Muyeon’s eyes curved into a crescent moon shape as he smiled, then gave a polite bow before turning away. Sodam stayed frozen, unable to straighten her bent waist, until his figure completely disappeared from sight.

“What… was that…?”

Her body’s involuntary movement puzzled her, but she realized it was her instincts that had wanted Muyeon’s touch. Specifically, holding his hand made her feel as though the icy cold clinging to her body had melted away. Despite it being two weeks since her last Guiding session, her body—still bundled in winter clothes—had unconsciously craved the contact that brought relief.

‘There was never any mention in the original story of someone with powers like his…!’

Even if Muyeon’s ability only removed the contamination Guides carried, it was an impossibility. If such a power existed, Guides would be lining up around the Association to pair with Juyul. Guiding him while also cleansing their contamination? It would be a dream come true.

As this realization struck her like lightning, a horrifying thought pierced through her mind.

‘The body’s original owner must have thought the same thing. That’s why she called Muyeon to her house after Guiding Baek Juyul. And that’s why there were no signs on the doorknob or lock…’

A shiver ran down her spine, and she yanked her hand back, which had still been unconsciously extended in the direction Muyeon had disappeared.

Feigning calmness, Sodam turned and walked away at a steady, unhurried pace, carefully maintaining an upright posture. She didn’t know where she was going, but she knew she needed to put as much distance as possible between herself, that man, and the terrifying conclusion she’d just reached.

When she turned the corner, she finally let her legs give out beneath her.

Thud.

“Ha… haha… I should probably start going to that gym the Association sponsors. I can’t live like this, constantly terrified…”

As relief flooded her, her legs trembled uncontrollably. All she had done was talk to Muyeon and hold his hand, but it felt as though she had burned through every ounce of energy she had for the day. Even the improved state of her body—thanks to his touch—felt unsettling and unnatural.

Rubbing her face repeatedly, Sodam muttered a half-hearted complaint.

“If I had to possess someone, why couldn’t it have been an Esper? A Guide with no power or strength… what’s the point…?”

Her voice trailed off before she could finish the sentence. Footsteps echoed from the hallway she had just come through.

‘Please, just pass by. Just keep walking. It’s not him, right? Even if it’s someone else, let it be someone who doesn’t care about a random person sitting on the floor…’

“Are you okay?”

“Damn it! …Oh, sorry.”

Her quick apology didn’t deter the kind voice from speaking again.

“Hmm. Are you really all right?”

“Ha… yes, I’m fine. Completely fine…”

“That’s a relief. I’ve been coming across a lot of Guides collapsing around here lately.”

Flustered, Sodam ran her hands through her hair, embarrassed by her earlier outburst. As the calm voice settled over her like a comforting blanket, her embarrassment grew.

Rubbing her now-flushed face to cool down, Sodam slowly looked up—and froze.

“…Oh, it’s you?”

Her exclamation was followed by her face diving back into her hands.

‘Why is Cha Seonghwa here all of a sudden? Baek Juyul is overseas… oh, so that’s why.’

Recognizing the man before her, Sodam quickly pieced together why there were so many Guides at the Association today. Cha Seonghwa was indispensable in Juyul’s absence, a lifeline for Guides without a dedicated Esper.

Faced with a reality she couldn’t escape, Sodam let out a hollow laugh and greeted him.

“Hello again… nice to see you.”

“What are you doing here? Juyul is in Europe right now, isn’t he?”

“…”

‘Ha, I’m doomed.’

What were the odds of running into an S-class Esper, said to be rarer than legendary creatures, twice within two months? If only she could have redirected this luck into winning the lottery.

But fate had handed her an S-class Esper instead of lottery winnings, and now she had to deal with the lies she had told two months ago.

Whether she confessed the truth or doubled down with more lies, the outcome was on her shoulders now.

 

 

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