Episode 33: I Don’t Believe, I Don’t Buy, I Don’t Do (4)

 

At that moment, Sodam realized just how naive her past self had been, thinking, “Might as well just get it over with.” The memory of that casual mindset now felt laughably distant, and her body instinctively froze.

Sensing the shift, Juyul gently cupped her cheeks with both hands, his touch firm but not forceful.

“Guide Maeng Sodam,” he said softly, “if you don’t want to do this, then don’t. I only brought it up because you were going on about ‘proper Guiding.’ I have no intention of forcing you into something that makes you uncomfortable.”

His words were calm and measured, devoid of mockery or pressure, leaving no room for misunderstanding. For a brief moment, Sodam was taken aback by the unexpected kindness, her earlier anxiety slightly easing under his steady gaze.

“…”

“You must think I’m some kind of crazed maniac who can’t control himself,” Juyul said, his voice steady but sharp.

“But let me tell you something—I’ve managed just fine without that so-called ‘proper Guiding’ for years. I have no intention of acting like some desperate animal now. Got it?”

For the first time, Sodam felt like she was truly seeing Juyul. Not as the overwhelming and larger-than-life protagonist she had idolized from the story, but as Baek Juyul, the man in front of her.

Even though the primal instinct of lust simmered just beneath the surface, he was restraining it with every fiber of his being, his entire focus on calming her instead. In that moment, she could see traces of the character she once admired.

His face, younger than she had imagined, betrayed subtle signs of his internal struggle: the flushed tips of his ears and the back of his neck, the sudden clenching of his jaw as though to suppress the tension, and, most strikingly, the eyes that glimmered with an almost incomprehensible worry. Every detail spoke volumes, more than his words ever could.

In that moment, as her gaze took in everything—the flushed ears, the clenched jaw, the worried eyes—Sodam felt a surge of emotion she thought she had buried long ago threatening to spill over. She squeezed her eyes shut, as if doing so could lock those feelings back in place.

With her eyes closed, Juyul’s touch on her ear felt even more pronounced. His careful fingers tucked even the stray strands of her hair neatly behind her ear, a small act of consideration that now felt impossible to ignore.

She shoved the surging emotions back into their mental box, sealed it tightly, and only then did she open her eyes. Forcing a smile that she hoped looked natural, she spoke in a light tone.

“It’s just… I’m surprised this kind of thing even fit inside me in the first place.”

“…So, you’re saying,” he started, trailing off, his expression unreadable as he tried to make sense of her words.

At the moment when everything filled her vision, the emotions she had carefully wrapped up and tucked away felt like they were about to burst forth, and she tightly shut her eyes. In doing so, the touch of Juyul’s hand on her ear became all the more distinct. Even the small act of tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear came across too clearly to ignore.

Forcing herself to shove the surging emotions back into their box and lock them away, she finally opened her eyes and smiled as naturally as she could manage.

“It’s just… I was surprised that something like this could actually fit inside me, that’s all.”

“…So.”

“Are you saying this in front of someone who’s stuck with something like this? Fine, fine. I’ve decided to put this thing in my mouth, so could you let go of me now?”

No matter how much she denied it with her own words, it seemed Juyul still wasn’t reassured, as he showed no intention of removing his hand from her cheek. Deliberately, Sodam shook her head from side to side, forcing his hand off her face.

Even so, when his hesitant hand reached out again to touch her hair, she couldn’t help but let out a small laugh. If she kept laughing like this, his hand might find its way back to her face, so she slowly began moving her hand.

She had made up her mind, after all. If she was going to do it, she had to do it properly.

“Ugh…”

One hand gripped the root, and the hand that held the shaft swept up and down in a sweeping motion, and the hand that came down softly grabbed a handful of So Dam’s hair. She could feel the pounding in the blue veins that had sprung up. The growing penis slowly began to poke its head out. Finding the throbbing shaft, Sodam carefully kissed it.

Just as Juyul once did, she made repeated smacking sounds as she stimulated, and then slightly opened her mouth to take the tip of the glans into it. The sticky liquid that trickled out had a bitter taste. She wasn’t entirely sure, but it seemed like treating it somewhat like a kiss might work. So, she licked the glans inside her mouth with her tongue.

The difference from a kiss was that, unlike a tongue, the object was excessively thick, making it impossible to lick all around while holding it in her mouth.

Her jaw was starting to ache, but stopping now felt like a waste of the time it had taken to make up her mind to begin. Especially now that the organ was just beginning to respond, she was determined to see it through to the end and bring it to climax—there was no backing down.

Sodam found it easier than expected to take the glans into her mouth, so she wondered if she might manage the shaft as well. As she moved her head forward, however, she suddenly felt it catch in her throat, prompting her to pull back sharply and cough.

She kept coughing repeatedly, tears welling up from the physical reaction, and looked up at Juyul with an accusatory murmur.

“…It’s too big. It won’t go in.”

“…….”

“No, growing even bigger at this point is just unfair….”

She was merely stating a simple fact, yet the sight of the organ quietly increasing in size left her feeling utterly dumbfounded.

She wiped the sticky liquid from the corners of her mouth with the back of her hand, suppressing a sigh before opening her mouth once more. This time, she directed her attention to the shaft, where blue veins bulged prominently.

Just as she had done with the glans, she planted soft kisses along the length of the shaft, wandering over it aimlessly. Then, as if struck by an idea, she gently nipped the shaft with her lips. The soft pressure of her lips pinching the firm surface made Juyul’s grip on her hair tighten. Overstimulated to the point of its limit, the organ throbbed, the urethra quivering as if on the verge of releasing something.

Just as Sodam realized the goal was within reach and moved her hands and mouth more eagerly, Juyul suddenly yanked her hand away roughly.

“Why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

“Why don’t you take a look at your hand first?”

“My hand? What’s wrong with my—oh.”

She had been too distracted to pay attention to her own hands, but at his words, she looked down to find her fingertips had turned a pale, icy blue. While Juyul’s body, like his skin, ran cooler than average, his touch hadn’t felt cold enough to cause this. So why had her hand ended up like this?

As Sodam furrowed her brows in confusion, Juyul clicked his tongue softly. He pressed her forehead firmly with his palm, pushing her back, and spoke in a voice roughened with irritation, each word bitten out as if laced with scorn.

“It’s not frostbite; it’s because you’ve overdone the Guiding. I thought a week of rest would have been enough to recover… Guess your efficiency is pretty low, Guide Maeng Sodam.”

“Well, I am F-class, after all… But are you really okay, Esper Baek Juyul? You know, with ‘that’.”

Sodam, realizing the state of her hands, began lightly massaging her tingling fingertips while gesturing with her chin toward his organ. Just as she said, Juyul’s erection stood rigid, as if on the verge of release, to the point it almost seemed pitiable. Letting out a long sigh, he clenched his jaw and pushed her face even further away with a firm hand.

Sodam’s mouth, poised to grumble at his sudden rejection, was silenced by his next words—whether a request or a command, she couldn’t tell.

“Guide Maeng Sodam, look me straight in the eyes.”

“……”

“Don’t look away. Stay just like that.”

Growling low as he muttered, Juyul fixed his piercing gaze on Sodam and began stroking himself with his hand. It was clear that all he was doing was pleasuring himself while looking at her, yet somehow, she felt as though she were completely exposed, stripped bare from head to toe.

Memories of last night—when her chest had been sucked so hard it hurt—and even the sensations from a month ago during a night she could now barely recall, began resurfacing. Her fists clenched tightly as she struggled to suppress the overwhelming wave of recollection.

As Sodam squirmed slightly, unable to hold still any longer, a milky fluid spurted out from the quivering urethra.

The semen grazed her chin before dripping downward, startling Sodam enough to make her jerk her upper body back. Whether because of her movement or despite it, the next spurts landed not just on her torso but even on her pants. From her slightly parted lips to her chin, torso, and legs, the splattered mess left her staring up at him in shock. Looking down at her wide-eyed expression, Juyul bit his lower lip, his gaze dark and unreadable.

“If you’re not going to help me finish, don’t look at me like that.”

“…….”

“I’ll clean it up, so just stay still.”

Juyul, seemingly unbothered by Sodam’s dazed and speechless expression, spoke his piece and then began tidying up on his own, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

After meticulously straightening his own clothes, Juyul approached with a wet wipe in hand. Sitting across from her, he gently dabbed at her lips and chin.

His hand slowly moved downward, brushing past her neck, collarbone, chest, and following the line of her torso down to her thighs. Eventually, he reached her hands, wiping them as if to clean them off, before firmly gripping her wrist.

“Why this now?”

“The one I gave you—did you use it properly?”

“Oh… the hot pack? Of course. I’ve been using it just fine.”

“If it’s working properly but your hands still ended up like this, then you’re clearly ‘not’ fine to begin with.”

Juyul narrowed his eyes and, after a brief pause, rolled up Sodam’s sleeve. Wrapped snugly around her forearm was the hot pack he had given her, just as she had claimed.

His brows furrowed slightly as he took in the sight of the hot pack, functioning perfectly as intended.

“A healthy person wouldn’t even be able to wear this for long. They’d feel like their entire body was burning.”

Sodam, at a loss for words, pressed her lips together and raised her free hand to touch her forehead. The motion caused the soft knit sleeve of her sweater to slip down, revealing a circular brand on her wrist. Though he had seen it before, the brand never failed to unsettle him. It wasn’t just the brand itself—it was the jagged knife marks slashed over it, as if someone had desperately tried to erase the mark from their skin. Each time he saw it, it felt like something lodged itself in his throat, choking him.

The chaotic scars left behind from someone’s frantic attempt to destroy that wretched mark burned into Juyul’s mind. Clicking his tongue softly, he released her wrist.

“Take care of your body, Guide Maeng Sodam. And stop doing unnecessary things.”

 

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