Episode 32: I Don’t Believe, I Don’t Buy, I Don’t Do (3)

Of course, Juyul had no way of knowing about the small concoction Sodam had slipped to Seonghwa, so it never crossed his mind to suspect that Seonghwa had chosen the lingerie based on his own “preferences.” Thus, the misunderstanding that led the two childhood friends to secretly disdain each other’s tastes would remain unresolved for quite some time—a story for a distant future.

But setting aside that far-off future, back in the present, Juyul suddenly noticed the faint warmth lingering in his hand fading away.

Though it was merely a return to his usual, cooler body temperature, it inexplicably soured his mood. He frowned slightly, pondering the source of this irritation, and quickly arrived at a simple conclusion:

It must be his Esper instincts reacting negatively to the loss of the warmth that had been so readily flowing into him just moments ago.

With a slight smirk tugging at one corner of his mouth, he shoved his hands roughly into his pockets. The unsettling sensation lingering in his chest, which felt like an unpleasant ripple, was just a product of his Esper instincts. At least, that’s what he kept telling himself.

* * *

The next day, the relentless arrival of Guiding time once again wore Sodam out. Determined not to be more than ten minutes late—something a certain someone had sternly warned her about—she decided to show up early instead. Of course, that “someone” always arrived precisely at 4 PM, meaning this was purely for her own peace of mind. Still, while her efforts might have kept her conscience clear, it felt deeply unfair that she was the only one enduring this hassle.

Sodam’s eyes narrowed in mild irritation as she stared at the figure who always showed up cloaked in a chill wind—none other than Juyul.

“Don’t you think 4 AM is just too much? There aren’t even that many buses running at that hour.”

“Then move somewhere closer, like me. I heard the apartment next to mine is vacant.”

“Will you pay for it? Just 1 billion won—no more, no less—and I’ll gladly move.”

‘As if. The moment I get that billion, I’d pay off my debt, move to the countryside, and live like I’m dead. Now that the original story’s begun, there’ll be an endless wave of monsters only Baek Juyul can handle. That guy will be too busy hunting them down to care about me and will spend his time happily romancing the main heroine. Then, when it’s all over, I’ll just crawl back to leech off the rewards! Hah!’

While her reply sounded straightforward—if a little barbed—her inner thoughts were a chaotic swirl of plans and schemes. Fortunately, her face maintained a properly servile smile, ensuring Juyul couldn’t see through her.

Juyul snorted at the expression that screamed she wasn’t even considering the suggestion. He gestured with his chin toward Sodam, who was perched on the edge of the bed, silently watching him.

“Are we doing that ‘proper Guiding’ thing again today?”

“Ah, um, about that….”

“Do you have another suggestion?”

“Yes, well… How about just holding hands? I’ll do my absolute best….”

Sodam already knew that suggestion would be rejected before Juyul even opened his mouth. After spending over a month seeing him every single day, she’d developed an unfortunate knack for reading his expressions. The look on his face—akin to someone hearing a ludicrous tale about a crawling infant suddenly standing up to slay monsters and ascending to SSSS-class—was enough to tell her this method wouldn’t fly.

Quickly switching her tone as if she’d never suggested otherwise, Sodam continued with an air of nonchalance.

“But of course, that wouldn’t be of any help to someone like Esper Baek Juyul, would it?”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Which is why….”

With her first plan scrapped, Sodam had no choice but to go with Plan B.

Late last night, after Juyul left and she lay in bed for what felt like forever, she had dragged herself to the Association’s shared shower room. The entire time, she’d been a bundle of nerves, terrified someone might walk in. It was mortifying to see how red her areolas had become from all the sucking, and the bite marks he’d left behind made her feel even more self-conscious. She couldn’t believe how relentless he had been.

Of course, she already knew he’d say something like, “If you’re that worried, why not just shower at home?” But honestly, shivering under cold water while her teeth chattered was far less appealing than sneaking into the shared shower room for a warm shower, even if it meant constantly looking over her shoulder. Besides, she had no intention of sharing such trivial dilemmas with Juyul of all people.

Anyway, it was during one of those nerve-wracking showers that a sudden idea struck her. If she was going to spend another day fretting and squirming in discomfort, wouldn’t it be better to turn the tables and make him the one feeling uneasy for a change? A truly brilliant thought, if she said so herself.

“How about we switch roles this time?” she suggested with a straight face.

“Oh, so you’re asking me to let you suck instead?”

“I was trying to phrase it more delicately, but… fine, yes. I’m still sore, and it’s killing me!”

As Sodam grumbled her complaint, Juyul, perhaps feeling a pang of guilt, didn’t argue further and simply nodded in agreement. Her face lit up at his tacit approval, but the brightness was short-lived. The moment Juyul plopped down beside her and threw out his next question, her expression drained of all color.

“What are you waiting for? Aren’t you going to get down?”

“…Excuse me?”

“You said you wanted to do it. Staying on the bed seems risky, though… If you’re set on it, fine, do as you like.”

“W-Wait, hold on a second. What exactly do you mean by ‘risky’?”

“Well, judging by how out of it you get just from having your chest played with, if we went all the way, you might actually pass out. Unless, of course, you want to become the first Guide in history to need an ambulance mid-Guiding.”

He wasn’t entirely wrong. In a profession where lives could be at stake, knowing one’s limits and guiding accordingly was common sense for a Guide. After a month of inhabiting this body and cramming her head with such common sense, Sodam was all too aware of how pathetic her earlier behavior had been. The thought of repeating that embarrassment made her even more determined to avoid it.

‘But seriously, where does he get off thinking I’d suck on something like that?’

It wasn’t until she followed her train of thought a bit further that she fully grasped the implications of Juyul’s words. She idly imagined what position she’d end up in if she actually followed his suggestion and got down from the bed. Her gaze instinctively drifted downward, and it didn’t take long for her to realize where her line of sight would lead.

“…You’re telling me to suck that?”

“As I’ve said before, that’s a pretty bold statement to make in front of someone who actually has to live with that attached to them.”

“I have a small mouth! The second it goes in, I’ll probably tear something, I swear.”

As Sodam pointed at her mouth, lips parted and gesturing to emphasize her claim, Juyul pressed a hand to his forehead in exasperation. He ran his fingers down the back of his neck, his voice dropping a notch as he asked:

“Are you doing this on purpose to get a rise out of me?”

“…”

“If it’s really that unbearable, I don’t mind being the one doing the sucking again today. The choice is yours.”

Though the situation had veered far from what Sodam intended, she found herself hesitating. Maybe—just maybe—it was better to pass the baton back to Juyul. It wasn’t just because her chest, still tingling from the previous day’s ordeal, felt like it couldn’t handle any more abuse. There was something about the alternative that made her even more reluctant.

‘It already hurts enough being squished under a bra, which is why I’ve got bandages on… If he sees this, he might actually throw himself out the window in sheer mortification…’

The thought of showing the cause of her predicament to the very person responsible for it was on a completely different level than accidentally running into someone in the shower. The idea made her feel a whole new depth of shame. But as the realization sank in, Sodam quickly came to an internal agreement with herself and let out a heavy sigh.

“Just so you know, I’ve never done anything like this before, so you can’t complain if I mess it up, okay?” she muttered, her tone a mix of resignation and warning.

“Promise?”

“…So, does that mean the ‘other things’ you’ve done before are things you have experience with?” Juyul asked, his tone laced with curiosity.

“That’s not what I meant… Come on, think about it. I’ve been a Guide for years as an adult. You don’t honestly think I’ve never done anything like that, right? Not that I remember any of it, but still.”

Sodam shook her head as she tried to string together a plausible excuse.

Previously, whenever Juyul had pressed her with that intense and intimidating demeanor of his, she’d reflexively defaulted to vague denials. But now that she thought about it, these were conclusions anyone could reach with a bit of common sense. Frankly, Juyul’s obsession with her supposed inexperience was starting to seem far more bizarre.

‘Well… He is that ridiculously rare phenomenon: an Esper with zero experience. I guess it makes sense for him to assume his standards are universal.’

Still, since his “common sense” was entirely detached from reality, Sodam decided she had no reason to poke the bear. Better to just move on.

Ignoring the sudden silence from Juyul, Sodam climbed down from the bed and stopped in front of his waistband. Making the decision to go through with something and actually doing it turned out to be two very different things. She froze in place, suddenly hyperaware of the monumental gap between resolve and action.

With hesitant hands, Sodam cautiously reached out and unfastened the buckle of his pants. The metallic rasp of the zipper being lowered sounded uncomfortably loud in the silence, sharper and more suggestive than she had ever thought possible. As she pulled down the snug briefs, she swallowed hard, a reflex she hadn’t realized would be so obvious.

Juyul, now fully looking down at her, let out a soft chuckle.

“Why are you swallowing so loudly?”

“Can’t you just ignore it… please?” she mumbled, her voice filled with quiet desperation.

Perhaps sensing her plea, Juyul mercifully refrained from teasing her further. Instead, in an uncharacteristically gentle gesture, he reached out and brushed her disheveled hair back, tucking the strands neatly behind her ears.

If Sodam had even a moment to process anything other than the task at hand, she might have found his action peculiar—oddly tender, even—but her entire focus was absorbed by the reality before her. Her senses honed in on what she was doing with such intensity that Juyul’s gentle touch passed without resistance.

When she finally wrapped both hands around the slightly tensed member before her, reality came rushing back with an almost overwhelming force.

The sensation of the firm yet pliable flesh filling her palms, combined with the faint scent of body wash mingled with a distinctly masculine aroma, shattered the surreal detachment she had been relying on. It struck her like a revelation: the person she was doing this with wasn’t just some fictional “protagonist” but a living, breathing man.

Her heart, which had begun to calm, started pounding wildly, faster than it would after sprinting a hundred meters at full speed. She felt utterly exposed and vulnerable to the moment, a realization that sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through her.

 

⋆｡ ﾟ ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ ☾ ﾟ ｡ ⋆

☕ Hi, friends! Your support means the world to me. If you’d like, you can buy me a coffee here: Click the link on the image! 💖

Thank you for keeping me inspired! 🌸

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆