Episode 29: A Rough Start (10)

They walked in silence for a while, but the route to the Association’s main entrance was longer than expected. Sodam couldn’t help but worry about Seonghwa suddenly “waking up” to reality and deciding she was a threat.

‘And what if rumors start that I Guided him, too?’

More than anything, the B-class Guide, who despised her interacting with higher-ranked Espers, would likely attack her mentally the moment tomorrow arrived. Handling sharp words with a smile was exhausting, and the thought alone made her feel mentally drained.

Out of habit, she checked her phone. The current time was 7:32 AM. Seeing that unbelievable number, she realized just how long she had inconvenienced Seonghwa. Embarrassment and guilt flooded her as she rubbed her forehead and gently prodded Seonghwa’s back.

“Why? Is something wrong?” he asked, turning around.

“Well… I just checked the time, and I think I’ve been bothering you for far too long. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to faint… I honestly didn’t.”

“You don’t need to apologize for that. Sometimes, even the Guides who help me experience the same thing. I understand.”

“Oh… I see.”

While she was genuinely sorry, the comment about his Guides fainting occasionally felt oddly unsettling. Unlike Baek Juyul, who hated Guides, Seonghwa wasn’t known for any such aversion, which meant he must have received ordinary Guiding.

‘So… does he mean that his Guides sometimes collapse after, uh, normal Guiding? That’s still… weird.’

Unable to hide her uneasy expression, Sodam subtly increased the distance between them. Only then did Seonghwa seem to realize how his words might have sounded. His face flushed as he scrambled to clarify.

“That’s not what I meant! I just wanted to say that even during standard Guiding, that kind of thing can happen sometimes…”

“Ah, standard Guiding, of course…”

“Ugh, even trying to explain sounds strange. I just wanted to say that collapsing like you did isn’t necessarily abnormal.”

Seeing him babble excuses without even thinking to cover his reddened face, Sodam felt somewhat reassured. He clearly hadn’t intended to suggest anything inappropriate. After all, in the original story, Seonghwa was devoted to the secondary female lead, Han Daram. If he were to suddenly exhibit sexual interest in Sodam, it wouldn’t just be out of character—it would be like he was an entirely different person.

Feeling relieved, Sodam let out a small smile, but her expression quickly shifted. Something about how he addressed her had caught her attention.

“Sodam-ssi…?”

“Ah. Like I mentioned earlier, we’ll probably be seeing each other quite often from now on, right? I figured there’s no need to be so formal with ‘Maeng Sodam Guide-nim’ and ‘Cha Seonghwa Esper-nim.’”

“Ah… I see.”

It was a reasonable suggestion. If she were a real dedicated Guide, they would meet often, and given how things worked in the field, it was likely she would spend more time with Seonghwa than Juyul. Being on casual terms could prevent unnecessary awkwardness.

Still, something about it felt off. Maybe it was because Seonghwa’s approach reminded her too much of how he had slowly closed the distance with Han Daram in the original story—only to fall for her completely.

The idea of him falling for her was alarming. Objectively, he wasn’t a bad guy, but considering he was friends with Juyul and a prominent supporting character in the original story, Sodam instinctively wanted to keep him at arm’s length.

‘He also seems a little… unstable. I really don’t need to get caught in the middle of any fights and end up collateral damage.’

Unaware of her thoughts, Seonghwa scratched his neck awkwardly and asked cautiously, “I’d like it if you could call me Seonghwa-ssi, too. Would that be too much to ask?”

“Yes. That would be a bit much.”

“Oh…”

Sodam decided there was no need to foster a friendly relationship with Seonghwa, especially since she wasn’t Baek Juyul’s real dedicated Guide. Drawing a clear line now felt like the wisest choice, given that she intended to avoid meeting him again in the future.

With Seonghwa still standing frozen in surprise, Sodam offered a polite nod and hurried toward the familiar main entrance. Passing through the metal detector had never felt so liberating.

Once she pushed open the glass doors of the Association and stepped outside, the sensation of Seonghwa’s gaze burning into her back finally disappeared. Letting out an endless sigh, she pinched her cheek hard, pulling at the soft skin to wake herself up with a faint sting.

“Ugh, the moment he latches onto me, it’s straight to the harem route. And we all know the main female lead has Baek Juyul’s side secured, so I’m not sticking around to get drained as the backup. No thanks.”

If Sodam somehow ended up in Juyul’s harem, she was certain it would only lead to misery. There was no chance her rank would change—she could die and come back to life, and she’d still be an F-class Guide.

Even worse, having met the protagonist early on, she was likely destined to be a minor extra, the type barely visible near the corner of a book cover. A character whose only role was to wave a handkerchief at Juyul as he departed on a subjugation journey with the main heroine.

Just imagining the main female lead, someone she hadn’t even met yet, made her chest ache. She told herself it was simply because she had overexerted herself during the Guiding session. Deep down, she knew it wasn’t true, but she chose to deceive herself. Admitting the truth would mean resigning herself to being just another forgettable character.

—

Four weeks later, Sodam found herself reflecting on her situation. The vow she had made to stay out of the original plot and away from Baek Juyul seemed laughable now.

“Maeng Sodam Guide, is this not enough? Do you want something more?”

“Ack, no! Absolutely not.”

‘…I never escaped, not even a little.’

Her pale fingers twitched in a way that betrayed her inner turmoil, and the hand clasped with hers tightened with a noticeable strength.

It wasn’t a particularly meaningful action, but when combined with Juyul’s sharp, cutting gaze, its message was clear.

“I’ll focus properly… I promise.”

Staring up at the ceiling, Sodam clenched her lips together as she worked hard to manage the energy pouring into her from Juyul. But just as she started to find her rhythm, the familiar sensation of his hand in hers jolted her thoughts.

‘Of course it feels familiar. How many times have we done this just this month? The man who claimed to be so busy really shows up to the Guiding Room every single day.’

Complaining was something she could only do internally. After the Gunsan subjugation, waking up in the Association’s main Guiding Room had been so embarrassing that she had nearly ripped the blanket to shreds with her flailing. Her discomfort only grew when she saw her bank account swelling with double her usual wages and travel expenses.

But the tipping point was the unexpected gift from the Association: clothing. When she unwrapped the package to find not just a few pieces of outerwear but a full set of undergarments, she nearly passed out on the spot.

‘Am I really becoming Baek Juyul’s dedicated Guide? And what nonsense is that guy spouting to people? It’s not like I didn’t wear proper clothes because I couldn’t afford them!’

Sodam had no idea which department handled this or why, and she didn’t want to know. If she could, she would have ignored all communication from the Association, but her rationality—honed by years of dealing with debt—forced her to comply, albeit with tears of frustration.

‘Damn it, damn it… Once I pay off my debt, I’ll never spit in the Association’s direction again.’

Fortunately or unfortunately, Juyul had told her not to come to the Association for a week after the subjugation. Before relief could fully set in, her first reaction was confusion.

Releasing someone he viewed as a potential monster for an entire week was unlike him. She was still processing this when Juyul handed her a small mirror.

“Take a look at your face. Is that even human?”

“My face? …Wait, is this a funeral portrait? How can someone look so pale?”

“If you get it, then take the week off and rest like you’re dead. If you look like this next week, I’ll tie you down and keep you by my side.”

The threat was enough to make her abandon her plans to pick up a short-term job during the break. She spent the week entirely in bed, sleeping as if she were truly dead.

But when she returned, she encountered a new kind of misery. For some reason, Juyul spent the entire first day back staring at her—so intently it nearly killed her in a different way.

Even during the “not-dying” kiss she initiated to save herself, he hadn’t closed his eyes, opting instead to observe her closely. She eventually had to cover his eyes with her own hand.

“I’m really sorry, but… why are you staring at me like that?”

“Did you think I was joking about what I said?”

“Uh… what nonsense are you talking about?”

“You could pass for a skeleton. Lie down in a coffin, and no one would know you’re alive.”

His words were as tactless as ever, but the underlying message seemed to be that she needed to take better care of herself. The real problem was that Sodam simply didn’t have the resources to do so.
Tl/N:
In Korean, “nim” (님) and “ssi” (씨) are honorifics used to show respect or politeness when addressing someone.
“Nim” (님)
Usage: It is a highly respectful honorific often attached to titles or positions. It’s used to show deference and is considered more formal than “ssi.” Commonly used in professional or formal settings, or when addressing someone of higher social status.

“Ssi” (씨)
Usage: A polite suffix that is less formal than “nim.” It’s used to address someone politely in day-to-day situations. It’s usually attached to a person’s first or full name. Suitable for colleagues, acquaintances, or peers. It implies respect but doesn’t carry the same weight as “nim.”