Episode 27: A Rough Start (8)

“Can you see this? Even with these weak hands, I couldn’t make you cough even if I tried… Ah, now what?”

“…There’s a mark on your wrist too.”

“Right? I really thought I was going to die, but no matter how much I struggled, you didn’t even flinch.”

I tried to make a joke of it, but it seemed like bad timing. Juyul’s expression hardened even more. Before I could stop him, he gently took my hand, grabbed the edge of my sleeve, and pulled it up to my elbow.

It happened so fast I couldn’t prevent it. The branding mark on my forearm, along with the scars crossing over it—things I had every intention of keeping hidden—were laid bare.

“This…”

“Ah, haha. You know, everyone has things they’d rather keep private, right? Let’s respect that, okay?”

Before he could say anything further, I hurriedly pulled my sleeve back down and, on impulse, pulled his head against my chest to stop him from looking any longer. The situation was shifting so rapidly that just running my fingers through his soft hair felt oddly calming, like hugging a plush toy with luxurious fur. Maybe that’s why words I wouldn’t normally say started slipping out.

“So, sometimes there are things you understand logically but can’t accept emotionally, right? What Esper Baek Juyul did yesterday is exactly that for me. Same goes for this contract. Honestly, I’m just trying to think of it as dealing with some random jerk I ran into. The contract doesn’t even count because of my amnesia, and yesterday… well, you weren’t really going to kill me, were you?”

“…What if I was?”

“Huh?”

“What if I really intended to kill you? How would you know?”

I wasn’t expecting him to fixate on that part of the conversation. The first answer that popped into my head was, ‘Because you’re the protagonist!’ The second was, ‘I’ve experienced it in a dream, and it’s very different when you’re genuinely trying to kill me!’ But no matter how much Juyul had softened, those weren’t things I could say out loud. I decided to wing it, hoping he’d let it go this time.

“Ah… well, it’s just a feeling. I mean, would you really kill someone you’d been so… close to just moments before?”

“I see. I’ve learned something.”

“Oh? What is it?”

Coming from someone who had been on the verge of tears just moments ago, his words felt strangely endearing. I’d said enough that he could have learned several things, but the fact that he only learned one was a bit disappointing. Still, it was a start. Little by little, he could improve.

‘What could it be? That people have things they’d rather hide? That some actions can be understood but not forgiven? That he needs to control his impulses?’

I mentally listed everything we’d talked about. Some of them seemed like they could actually be useful lessons for him. Whatever he’d picked up on, I was ready to encourage him. But as always, Juyul shattered expectations with an absurd comment.

“I learned that it’s common sense not to kill someone you’ve slept with right afterward.”

“What kind of nonsense have you been listening to this entire time…!”

“It’s true, isn’t it? Otherwise, why do you think you’re still alive?”

‘Because I’m not some kind of monster! Because it’s your own miscalculation!’

I couldn’t believe how shamelessly he could spout such things. Frustrated, I shoved his head hard, despite having been holding him gently just a moment ago. Yet, as infuriating as it was, he still looked perfectly fine.

Even though he kept apologizing, not once did he address the suspicion he held against me. That was even more maddening, to the point where I was at a loss for words.

‘So, he’s only sorry for not controlling himself properly. And that last comment… is he implying that if we hadn’t been “close,” he would have killed me on the spot?’

I took a deep breath to suppress my growing anger. All I had to do was exhale, pretend to agree, and say something like, “Ah, that makes sense!” Then it would all be over. After all, I knew from the original story that at the beginning, he had zero social skills and no empathy.

Even so, the depth of his loneliness made me want to root for him. I could understand him, even sympathize.

All I had to do was let it go, take a breath, and move on. So why couldn’t I bring myself to do it?

“Even now, you’re spouting nonsense and talking about common sense! It’s already absurd that you’re willing to kill someone just because they seem suspicious without any concrete evidence! That’s what’s truly insane and against common sense!”

“What if the person is a monster? A spy?”

“Then wait until suspicion turns into certainty before you kill! If you go around killing people just because they seem suspicious, you’re not an SSS-class hero being praised everywhere—you’re just a crazy psychopath!”

After letting it all out, I felt significantly better. Looking back, I had probably stomped on a few of Juyul’s metaphorical landmines, but considering I was the victim in this situation, I didn’t feel the slightest twinge of guilt. While I wasn’t exactly sorry, I did feel like I’d been a little too direct.

‘What if this guy really decides I’m some kind of monster or enemy and tries to kill me for real? One slip-up, and I’m done for.’

As I looked at Juyul’s contemplative face, I couldn’t shake the feeling that he was harboring murderous intent toward me. Of course, it was just my imagination, but that didn’t make me feel any better.

After a moment of hesitation, I seemed to make a decision. With a surprisingly serious expression, I grabbed his cheeks with both hands and moved in to kiss him.

“…?”

His surprise was irrelevant. I had a reason to finish this kiss properly. I pressed my tongue against his firmly shut lips, gently nudging them until they opened. Once his lips parted, I dove in, fully absorbed in the kiss.

I started by softly pinching his lips with my own, then slipped my tongue in to explore every corner, even sliding across his teeth. For someone so perfect, I found it slightly off-putting that his teeth were perfectly aligned with no gaps. Moving on, I pressed my tongue against the inside of his cheek.

Even the great protagonist didn’t differ from ordinary people in that area—soft and smooth, just like anyone else. However, I noticed a long horizontal line inside his cheek. Maybe he had a habit of clenching his teeth? Curiosity got the better of me, and I broke the kiss to ask.

“Ha… Baek Juyul, do you have a habit of clenching your teeth?”

“…Yes. Why?”

“Thought so. I knew it.”

“What does that even mean… Hmm.”

Without giving him a proper answer, I dove back in, exploring his mouth thoroughly. I picked up some interesting details in the process. For example, his tongue seemed a bit longer than average, and the underside was quite sensitive.

As the kiss dragged on, my back started to ache, so I pulled away, only for him to pounce on me as if he’d been waiting for me to tire.

“Mmm…!”

Pinned beneath him, I started to worry that things might go too far. Yesterday, I hadn’t been in great condition, but now I was even worse. Thinking about his stamina and my current state, it seemed impossible to keep up.

‘If this keeps up, I might not just faint temporarily—I could completely black out.’

Desperately trying to resist temptation, I mentally recited Buddhist scriptures. By the time I was halfway through the Heart Sutra, his lips had moved down past my jaw to my neck. The moment I felt his teeth graze my skin, I let out a deliberately louder moan.

“Ahhh!”

“…Damn.”

His actions were unmistakably forward, far beyond what I had anticipated. Stealing the protagonist’s first kiss and potentially his first… everything? That would be quite the overachievement for a mere extra. But judging by his skill, no one would ever believe this was his first time.

‘So, even if I’m not his first, someone else could easily think they are, as long as I disappear completely.’

His ridiculous proficiency, despite supposedly being inexperienced, was strangely comforting in this situation. I hadn’t expected the protagonist buff to extend to this kind of scenario, but here we were.

As I silently mocked him in my mind, I noticed that he seemed to have regained enough composure to listen. The terrifying blue eyes that had looked so intimidating earlier now seemed almost trivial.

I met his gaze confidently and flashed a wide smile.

“Looks like you won’t be able to kill me today. After all, it’s not just talk—we’ve gone beyond that.”

“…What?”

“If you’re willing to overlook sex, you have to overlook a kiss too. Sure, you have a condom, but I’ve already touched you directly, skin to skin.”