It was the day of a reunion with high school friends. Wherever Hyungwon went, there was always a crowd, and naturally, Jaeyoon, who was next to him, ended up making more friends than he would normally have.
Hyungwon’s long-standing charm had a way of gathering people from all walks of life, from the diligent students who only focused on their studies to the street toughs hanging around in alleys. It was a rare sight to see them all together.
At 27, the friends who once ruled the basketball courts during lunch breaks had all become part of society in one way or another. Some of them, Jaeyoon could confidently say, had been strongly influenced by Hyungwon.
For example, the thug who used to roam around starting fights had become a detective, and the bookish, straight-laced student had turned into a firefighter. People with strong and righteous ideas had the power to influence and reshape those around them.
It was Jaeyoon who had suggested to Hyungwon that he pursue a career as a teacher. There were many places in society that could use someone like “Jo Hyungwon,” a “septic tank” of sorts, but the most important place was the school, a place of learning.
Jaeyoon believed that after Hyungwon became an adult, he should stay in school. The ability to embrace people without prejudice, integrate them, and guide them to the right path was a great talent.
Hyungwon had shown interest in Jaeyoon’s suggestion, and he eventually became a high school math teacher.
“Hey, Jo Hyungwon. Still working out? You seem to have gotten even bigger. You ever think about catching criminals with me?”
One latecomer greeted Hyungwon, who was sitting at the outer edge, by putting him in a headlock. Hyungwon laughed heartily and pushed back.
“No way, man. I see you pulling all-nighters and doing shady stuff, I’m not in for that. You still the youngest on the team?”
“Yeah, damn it, our team is still short on people, and nobody’s stepping up. What a damn world.”
As the guy exchanged greetings with others around him, his gaze landed on Jaeyoon. When Jaeyoon merely raised an eyebrow to greet him, the guy smiled and sat next to him.
“Why’s our princess getting paler and paler? Stop reading all the time and get some sunlight, man.”
“Ugh, get your hands off me. Gross.”
“You’re still so touchy. I’ve been stabbed outside, but you can’t even be nice to me, you bad guy!”
The guy, who now worked as a detective, was a close friend of Hyungwon from their basketball days, and they had grown quite close.
When the nickname “princess” was mentioned, everyone nearby turned to look at Jaeyoon with mischievous grins.
“Oh, I miss Hyerin. How’s she doing?”
“I saw on social media that she’s been preparing for a job after graduation. She’s planning to become a developer.”
“Does Hyerin still like Jaeyoon?”
If they were close to Hyungwon, they couldn’t help but know Hyerin. She was the kind of person who easily blended in anywhere, even at parties where Jaeyoon was the only familiar face.
“When I asked if she had a boyfriend, she said she doesn’t because Jaeyoon never asked her out.”
And of course, they all knew that Hyerin liked Jaeyoon. She was always honest and upfront about it.
“Aha, our Hyerin is wasting her beauty on a one-sided crush. She could be with any guy.”
“Don’t even get me started. She’d shut guys down before they even opened their mouths. If they’re not even in her phone, she’d say they’re already married.”
“She’s wasted enough time; at least give her a shot. Hyerin is so pretty. Don’t you like her?”
“Can I even? If I take her, it’s over with Jaeyoon. He’s always swapping girlfriends so fast. He introduces her as his girlfriend, and she’s already someone else…”
“He doesn’t even keep a girl for a month, does he? And I know Jaeyoon’s type. Hyerin’s just not it.”
It’s hard to explain a half-truth. Adding more to the conversation would turn it into an excuse, and excuses only make lies grow. So, Jaeyoon simply waited for the conversation to pass.
As he sipped from his beer, Jaeyoon glanced at Hyungwon. He was staring irritably at the table.
“Hey, stop talking about Hyerin. She’ll figure it out herself and find someone.”
“Not if you don’t let her. You need to be more careful.”
One guy chuckled and added, while another, interested, asked,
“Why? Are you managing the guys Hyerin dates?”
“He was going around to catch her drinking. I saw her last time at a bar, getting dragged away.”
“Wow, that’s two walls of iron. It’s tough for Hyerin to date.”
As murmurs of disapproval spread around, Hyungwon sighed and ran his hand through his hair.
“Well, that’s because she doesn’t respond to calls and keeps playing around. Of course, it’s natural to be worried. Don’t you guys watch the news?”
“Well, I guess you should at least give her time to look for a guy.”
“What’s the point of looking for guys at a bar? You can see through them right away.”
Hyungwon shook his head as he drank his beer. Jaeyoon secretly supported Hyungwon’s vigilance. In this day and age, things weren’t as safe as they should be.
In a country where cases of rape and dating violence filled the newspapers every day, fathers with daughters and brothers with younger sisters couldn’t help but become sensitive.
“So, how about me as Hyerin’s boyfriend? A righteous, nice guy. Is that good enough?”
“You’re all off limits. Too impure.”
Of course, Jaeyoon was at the top of the list of those considered “impure.” But from Hyungwon’s perspective, it wasn’t unfair. He had been the one to warn his friend about the risks his younger sister could face.
“Hey, what guy isn’t impure? Jeez, with such a protective brother, our Hyerin doesn’t even have a chance.”
“Hyungwon sure has high standards. If I had a younger sister, would I do the same?”
“No, he’s just extreme. I wouldn’t even know if my sister had a boyfriend.”
Hyungwon set his empty glass down and sighed. The conversation seemed to be making him uncomfortable. Noticing this, one of the guys asked, trying to soothe the mood.
“So, what kind of guy do you want for Hyerin?”
“I don’t want anything. Just…”
Hyungwon rested his chin in his hand, chewing on a snack as he listed off his conditions.
“She’s a bit hyper, so I want someone calm who can ground her, someone kind, affectionate, and won’t make her suffer even after marriage…”
Hyungwon’s gaze landed on Jaeyoon. The brief, intense look exchanged between them created a subtle tension in the air. Feeling uncomfortable, Jaeyoon stood up, holding his vibrating phone.
“I’m leaving first.”
“Why? So suddenly?”
“My girlfriend’s here.”
Jaeyoon shook the phone screen in front of them, prompting a chorus of teasing.
“It’s not the same one we know, right? You switched again?”
“This time, try not to screw it up. Don’t hurt her, Jaeyoon.”
“You’re just too messed up to even look at, Jung Jaeyoon.”
As Jaeyoon left the bar, the teasing continued behind him. The door jingled as it closed, and only when he was out of Hyungwon’s sight did he finally let out a deep breath.
What he feared was that the 17-year-old version of himself was still inside him. That he still liked Hyerin.
A relationship built by covering up fear of loss was awkward and unstable, a fragile web. With each passing year, the mask he wore grew thicker. The more his feelings for Hyerin grew, the more his courage shrank. He was now afraid to even test the waters and see what Hyungwon thought.
Where was this relationship heading? What was Hyungwon thinking right now? How much longer could it last? His heart fluttered just as much as his vibrating phone had been shaking. It finally stopped. Then, another message popped up.
[Are you really going to do this?]
[How can you break up so suddenly like this?]
[I thought you were opening up this time because your friend introduced me…]
[Have you ever even contacted me first? Have we ever had any kind of physical affection?]
[If you were going to do this, you shouldn’t have led me on in the first place.]
[You’re really… so cruel.]
This was why you never cover up the hole in a drain. No matter how much you try to patch it, the stench still escapes from inside. The relationship he had been hiding his eyes and ears from had deteriorated to the point where it was impossible to ignore anymore. It was now rotting and making everything around him uncomfortable.
“Sorry. All of it.”
[Okay, I understand. Let’s break up.]
As he sent off another guilty relationship, yet another message filled the screen.
[Thank you for the book, oppa. It was exactly my taste! Perfect happy ending!]
A faint smile tugged at the corner of his lips. It wasn’t a look that matched a man who had just broken up with his girlfriend.
“Yeah… I really am a jerk.”
* * *
It was when Hyungwon was carrying a drunken Irae on his back, heading toward her house. His steps came to a sudden halt with the unexpected appearance of someone familiar.
“Dragging a drunk girl around at this hour, while flipping out over your little sister…”
“Hey, Lee Hayoon!”
Hyungwon stopped in his tracks and called after Hayoon, who had just passed by. Then Irae, who had been quietly resting on his back, tapped his shoulder.
“Put me down.”
“…What?”
“Put me down on the ground.”
Her enunciation was so clear it could outdo a news anchor’s. Shooting a wary glance behind him, Hyungwon set her down. A moment ago, Irae had been so limp she couldn’t even walk properly. Now, she stood perfectly straight and nodded toward the direction Hayoon had gone.
“Your student?”
“Yeah, she’s in my class.”
“A high schooler out here at this hour…?”
“She’s an adult. But more importantly, weren’t you drunk?”
“Mm, maybe not.”
She answered in a slurred, drunken tone, then even started jumping in place—as if to prove she was completely fine. Once it became obvious he’d been duped, Hyungwon’s expression twisted in annoyance.
“You little…”
“What! What! I’m just trying to help my friend. You need to back off so Joo Hyerin and Jung Jaeyoon can finally reach the endgame.”
“What endgame? Them dating and breaking up?”
“Whatever it is. The endgame is Hyerin getting a result she has no regrets about.”
Hyungwon turned away with a sigh, clearly displeased with Irae’s version of “endgame.” Irae, equally unimpressed with his reaction, jutted out a hip and narrowed her eyes.
“You know you’re the villain in their story, right?”
“……”
“It was suffocating back there—even for me. Why is Jaeyoon so intimidated by you?”
“There are things you don’t know. Just drop it.”
“Like what? Did Jaeyoon go to jail or something?”
“I said stop digging.”
“Whatever he did wrong, wouldn’t it have been better to cut him off? Why keep him close if you’re just going to make it uncomfortable?”
Irae hit Hyungwon right where it hurt.
“You’re here. Where else would I go?”
Hyungwon knew exactly why Jaeyoon had given up going to England and stayed in Korea. He couldn’t bring himself to push him away completely, knowing Jaeyoon still relied on him. At the same time, he couldn’t forgive him entirely either.
The memories from their youth had rotted, leaving a stink buried deep in his chest. As an adult, he believed he had been right.
Jaeyoon, just as he predicted, was promiscuous and careless when it came to relationships. Even without dragging up that day from when they were seventeen, there were already plenty of reasons to oppose the relationship.
“…You don’t know anything.”
“Don’t I? You just don’t want to lose either of them, right?”
Irae unflinchingly stabbed straight through Hyungwon’s heart. More than anyone, he wanted the three of them to stay together forever.
“Don’t do that. Try to hold on to both, and you’ll end up losing both. Your sister, and your friend.”
“……”
“Look at what’s happening. Because of you, the two people who actually have the guts are the ones getting hurt. Just let them try. Let them get hurt. Let them fight and cry and burn it all down. If it ends, it ends. If they can’t see each other anymore, then that’s that.”
“Don’t say it like it’s simple. I’m doing my best to think through what the best ending is for all of us.”
“For who, exactly? Isn’t it just your own happy ending?”
When Hyungwon didn’t deny it and fell silent, Irae rubbed her forehead in frustration.
“Remember when I confessed to you?”
“Why are you bringing that up now…”
“Do you remember how you turned me down?”
Irae had once liked Hyungwon. All of Hyerin’s friends had gone through a phase like that at one point, so it wasn’t anything special.
“Did you ever make me think I had a chance? I just… want to keep seeing you. I want this relationship to stay the same forever.”
“……”
“I gave up on you right then. I realized the guy I liked was more selfish and cowardly than I thought. Just know this—no matter how good your intentions are, you’re still hurting people.”
“……”
“Don’t clutch toys in both hands and try to act like an adult. You know that saying, right? ‘Only the brave fall in love’? It’s about having the courage to lose.”
Hyungwon, who had fallen silent for a moment, as if deep in thought, cautiously asked:
“…Did I hurt you back then?”
Irae let out a short, incredulous breath and raised an eyebrow.
“Of course I did. I got rejected, didn’t I? Even if I pretended to laugh it off and acted like it was nothing just to stay close, I never felt completely okay. Ugh, why am I even talking about this? Anyway… what I’m saying is, for your ‘forever,’ someone else had to keep acting all the time.”
“…I’m sorry.”
“If you’re sorry, then think about what I said.”
“I’ll try.”
“Ugh…”
Muttering a curse under her breath—*You damn fool*—Irae suddenly felt a large hand mess up her hair gently. Her expression hardened into a glare.
“Don’t do stuff that makes people misunderstand. Don’t touch a girl’s hair if you don’t feel anything. I know what kind of person you are now, but between a man and a woman, that kind of thing gives the wrong idea.”
“Got it. Thanks for the advice today. You’ve grown up cooler than I have.”
“Did you fall for me?”
“Almost.”
“I’ve got a boyfriend. Beat it.”
Irae swatted Hyungwon’s hand away and motioned with her chin.
“Go on. Weren’t you going to follow your student?”
“Yeah. Get home safe.”
“Sure.”
As she watched Hyungwon quickly disappear into the distance, Irae let out a long sigh. Her phone still had the message thread between her and Jaeyoon open.
[Hyungwon oppa and you… is something going on? The vibe was weird.]
[It’s my fault.]
[Your fault for what?]
“Ugh… what did you even do to mess someone up this bad…? Coward.”
[It’s all my fault. Everything.]
