Obsession

Chapter 5

Part 2

[I’m sorry. I’m not feeling well so I can’t come and look at the gifts today.]

The text I sent received a reply 15 minutes later.

[We will go next week. I was going to postpone it because I had something to do today, but it turned out well.]

Heeyoung, who checked the reply, looked at the man coming out of the bathroom.

The man who came out without even a towel walked around Hee-young’s house naked.

“Is there anything else apart from beer?”

A man opens the refrigerator, sees that there is only beer inside, frowns, and opens the front door.

Outside the front door, men in suits were still standing there.

They must have heard us howling like an animal for over an hour.

“Buy me some drinks. And some food. There’s nothing to eat here.”

The man who had casually given the order closed the door again and walked towards Hee-young.

Heeyoung’s hair, which she washed a little while ago, was still wet.

“Hey, I need to change the blanket.”

Heeyoung quickly pretended to change the blanket to avoid the man’s gaze.

I actually had to change the blanket.

It’s so wet and messy that I can’t use it like this.

“Let’s start with moving.”

“Yes?”

Heeyoung, who was pulling down the blanket, looked at the man in confusion.

“I bought a house that you’ll like. The interior is finished and all the furniture is moved in, so you just need to move in.”

“Ha, but… … .”

“Why? Are you going to have a wedding too? If you want to have a wedding, just tell me so I can find a wedding hall for you.”

“That’s not it… … .”

This man thinks that hers and Seon-oh’s broken engagement is a done deal. Of course, Hee-young also knows that her marriage with Seon-oh is over. The moment this man found her, the marriage was over. This man is a time bomb that could explode at any moment. It makes no sense to continue her married life with this man by her side.

Even if she begs and pleads and this man agrees for her marriage, then that will be really not the life that Hee-young would want.

Hee-young is not marrying Seon-oh because she loves him. She chose to marry him because she wanted to fit into Seon-oh’s ordinary, stable life. However, once this man appears, there is no longer an ordinary, stable life.

“I told you I’ll give you whatever you want.”

The man who snatched the blanket from Hee-young’s hands folds it up.

“I’ll do anything for you, so just be my woman and be good.”

The man sitting on the bed with the blanket off stared intently at Hee-young. He looked familiar. He was the man from that night when I ran in to ask for help.

It’s the face of the man who told me, when I wanted to run away, that [it would be better to live here]. I know he’s not a very bad person. If he was, he wouldn’t have forgiven her for running away with his money. He was angry yesterday, but he didn’t look as angry now as he did yesterday.

I know he’s not a bad person, but I don’t want to be around him. I feel uneasy when I’m around him. What I want is stability, but this man makes me uneasy. When I’m with him, I can feel the dampness of that small room in that inn, getting into my nose and mouth.

That’s why I didn’t like it. It reminded me of my past, of the miserable times I had, so I didn’t like it no matter what this man did to me.

“I’ll tell him that I can’t get married.”

Heeyoung muttered quietly as she took out a new blanket from the closet.

“I won’t get married.”

I can see what kind of expression Yoon Seon-oh will make if I tell him I can’t get married. At first, he’ll be flustered, then he will try to persuade me, and later he’ll look at me with disgust. Sometimes I think about it. Why did Seon-oh want to marry me? An orphan with nothing. Why did the son of such a wealthy family want to marry me? It’s not that I haven’t thought about it. Of course, I know the reason.

Yoon Seon-oh is a single man, to put it nicely, and he is a divorced man, to put it simply. The reason for the divorce was said to be personality differences, but when that man asked me out on a date, there were all sorts of rumors about him floating around in the company secretary’s office. And every time I went on a date with Seon-oh, I could easily find the reason for the divorce from the things he said to me.

[I like a homely woman rather than a working woman.]

[Because my mother is a family person. Now that I’m independent, I skip breakfast, but when I get married, I’ll be able to eat breakfast, right?]

A domestic woman, an obedient woman, a woman who does her best for her husband and children. That is the kind of wife Yoon Seon-oh wants. He said that he divorced his ex-wife because she [ran out]. His ex-wife was also an accountant, but she wanted to continue working after marriage, and Seon-oh didn’t want that, so he ended up getting divorced.

I heard there was also the issue of children. Seon-oh wanted to have children right away, but his ex-wife wanted to live a more free life rather than having children and showed no interest in housework.

[A woman who only knows herself]

Seon-oh always said that to his ex-wife.

[A selfish woman who ignores her husband and in-laws and only cares about herself.]

And he smiled and said to me.

[I am lucky that you’re a family woman. My mother doesn’t like you that much right now, but if you try, she’ll understand your sincerity. After you get married, do housework, visit my mother every day, learn how to cook from her, and go shopping with her. Make my mother’s favorite food and visit her. Then, if we have a grandson, my mother will accept you. My older brother only has a daughter, so my mother is always talking about grandsons. If you just give her a grandson, she’ll respect you, right?]

To be honest, just hearing it made me feel frustrated. I wasn’t sure if I could become such a domestic woman. But if that was a normal, ordinary, and happy life, I could do it. I used someone else’s name, stole someone else’s money, and ran away, so why couldn’t I do something like that?

I was confident that I could live the way I wanted to. I was confident that I could endure visiting my mother-in-law every day, doing all the housework, and enduring all the abuse. I believed that if I kept doing that, happiness would eventually come to me. So I quit my job and enrolled in a cooking class twice a week. I had never cooked a proper meal before. At that inn, all I could eat was ramen and japchae stew.

When I came out of there and lived in a gosiwon or a college dormitory, I hardly ever ate food. It was hard for me to act like I had been eating proper food for a long time. The food I ate at a normal home was unfamiliar. The food I ate at Seon-oh’s parents’ house, where I was invited once, and everything I did at that house was unfamiliar.

[An ordinary person’s house] felt strange, as if I came from a different world. Rice, soup, and side dishes. Even the refreshments after eating. I was amazed and envious of the fact that such things were part of ordinary people’s daily lives. And I wanted to make it my own. That’s all.

The only reason I had to marry Yoon Seon-oh was, ironically, that.

“Okay, then. When are you going to move?”

“I’ll do it as soon as the house is cleaned up.”

“You can go and live there today itself. The furniture has all been brought in, so you can leave the cleaning up to those kids.”

The kids would be the men outside.

“That’s too sudden.”

“Really? Then shall we do it tomorrow? Should I come pick you up tomorrow?”

“Yes… … tomorrow.”

I’m out of breath.

“Well thought out. You should have done this a long time ago.”

He approaches her from behind and grabs Hee-young’s shoulder as she spreads out a new blanket on the bed.

“I just laid out a new blanket. Do we have to do it again? Ah, it hurts down there… … .”

“Why? Did I bite you too hard? Let me see where.”

“Ugh… … .”

Heeyoung’s body collapsed onto the blanket that had just been laid out. The man who had lifted Heeyoung’s slip as she collapsed on the bed spread her legs apart. She was wearing a slip, but she hadn’t put on her panties yet. As his wet fingers spread her labia, Heeyoung felt the hot breath of the face that was getting closer touch her skin, and she shrugged her shoulders.

“Are you okay?”

The man laughs. The scar on his lips twitches every time he laughs. Hee-young props herself up on the bed with her elbows and looks at the man looking between her legs while raising her upper body.

“Mister.”

Heeyoung called the man who was touching her hole.

“What do you do for living, sir?”

Have I asked this question before? I don’t quite remember. But I was curious then and I’m curious now. What on earth does he do?

“Why did you live there back then?”

“It’ll be scary if you hear it.”

“I’m scared enough right now.”

Lying doesn’t work in front of this man. Yes. I feel like no matter what kind of lie she tells, I won’t be able to fool this man. It’s better to be honest than to tell a lie that will be caught right away.

“Don’t be afraid, just enjoy it.”

The man pressed his lips against Heeyoung’s pubic hair. He chewed the thin hair and licked it long with his tongue.

“If your pussy liked me half as much as I do, this wouldn’t be happening. Right?”

“There are many other women.”

“Who else? I don’t have any women.”

“I’m not the first.”

“Why? Did you want me to be a bachelor?”

“There are many other women, so why are you doing this to me?”

“Is there a reason you’re so jealous?”

The man got up and climbed on top of Heeyoung. As he climbed on top of her, Heeyoung lowered her elbows that had been supporting her body and lay down.

“I still really like you, but there’s no reason for it. I just like you. Just from the moment I saw you.”

“How long will this last?”

“There is no such thing.”

“Sir, everything has an expiration date.”

I realized the another identity of my anxiety.

Expiration date.

Yes. There is something like that. Everything ends. It would be correct to say that nothing never ends. Food sold has an expiration date, and things used eventually breaks down. People’s emotions are like that. This man is particularly obsessed with me, but the reason for this anxiety is that this obsession will eventually end.

“There is something like that, sir.”

Even if this man is good to me, even if he is obsessed with me and wants me, there will be an end. Isn’t that the source of this anxiety and fear? The fact that I might be abandoned someday.

Yes. This man will abandon me someday. When the day comes when he can no longer suck my sweetness, when I don’t feel sweet, this man will mercilessly abandon me.

You can live a fancy life. You can give me everything. But when the day comes that you are abandoned after living like that, you know that you will be much more miserable than before. Among the women who lived in the inn with the blue iron door in the old days, there were many who lived with guests and then were abandoned and returned. I have fully experienced how miserable it is to be abandoned after having tasted sweetness.

The woman who died in the last room where this man lived was like that. She dreamed of a fancy new life, but was eventually abandoned and died. Her blood is still vivid in my memory. There is no law that prevents me from becoming like that. The more dangerous a man is, the less stable he is, the less likely he is to last long.

I don’t know if the end of this obsession has been postponed because I ran away, but how many more years will this last? Ten years? Fifteen years? The end will come. If I get married normally and have a normal family, I can maintain that normal happiness until I die, but I don’t feel that way with this man.

I will be abandoned someday. That’s scary. That’s why I want to run away. I want to run away before I’m abandoned, and I want to live a life with a man who won’t abandon me, or rather, a life where I won’t be abandoned. No matter how much I say, this man doesn’t know how I feel.

“I don’t know about expiration dates, but let me tell you one thing. I’m already spoiled. Expiration dates? If there is such a thing, it’s been gone a long time. You touched something that was so badly spoiled that no one would touch it. Do you understand?”

Oh my.

With a wet sound, the man’s penis entered Heeyoung’s vagina, spreading it apart.

“Huh!”

My body, which swallows the man’s penis while making a creaking sound as if it had been waiting, is a lump of flesh that knows nothing but pleasure.

“Haaah! Yeah, yeah!”

The man’s hand pushed up Heeyoung’s thigh as a large penis was thrust into the gaping hole.

“Ahh! Ah! Ah!”

The heavy body of a man is pressing down on me, making it hard to breathe. My breasts are being crushed, and my swollen nipples are sore. I want him to suck and chew my nipples. How good it would feel to be bitten.

“Yeah! Huh! Huh, Ah! Ah!”

Shaking her hips, Heeyoung swallowed the flesh that was thrusting into her. The hole where she was being penetrated was hot and melting. The body that had just been washed was hot again and sweat was pouring out of her whole body. I could feel the newly laid blanket becoming damp from the sweat.

Heeyoung hugged the neck of the man who was pressing down on her body. Her head shook with each thrust.

“Stick out your tongue.”

As the man whispered, Hee-young opened her mouth and stuck her tongue out. As the man sucked on her tongue, Hee-young hugged the man’s neck tighter. The saliva that flowed down his tongue pooled in her mouth and then went down her throat. Gulp and swallowed the man’s saliva, Hee-young pressed her lower body closer to the man. Thud, thud, every time the flesh dug in fiercely, the hair soaked in love juice would cling to her.

Even without seeing it with my eyes, I can picture it in my head. The image of myself and the man I saw in the mirror a moment ago was vivid in my mind. As I imagined the dark red flesh tearing open my red flesh and thrusting inside, my body became even hotter.

The large hands that groped my buttocks and waist were cold and wet, arousing my excitement. This man still smelled of cigarette smoke. Hee-young screamed out of breath under the man who was gripping her buttocks tightly and thrusting roughly.

The man’s lips, which had released Heeyoung’s tongue, bit her nipple. As soon as her hot nipple was bitten by his hard teeth, her spine felt hot.

“Ugh, yeah, uh, yeah!”

Hee-young, who threw her head back, gasped for breath and screamed. I don’t know how many times this has happened. As this man said, it really is as if he will lay down with her for 10 million won today, or even more, and this kind of thing is continuing.

“I told you. Don’t touch me. I told you that you’ll regret it. But since you seduced me first, you’re going to pay the price, Hee-young. If you touch a hot guy without thinking, you’ll end up screwed. Like this.”

“Huh!”

The penis that had been moving in and out of the hole spurted out semen. When the penis was pulled out, the hole that was wide open and wouldn’t close spurted semen. With her legs spread open, Hee-young gasped for breath, her lower abdomen heaving. The man lay down next to Hee-young. The man stroked her breasts, where red teeth marks remained, and ran his hand sideways. Then he took out a cigarette, put it in his mouth, and smiled.

He is a really toxic man. He is a man who is so toxic like cigarettes or soju that it is not good to get close to him. But he is also a man who is like junk food that you know is bad for your body, but still reach for. Is it spoiled or is it junk food? Even though you know you shouldn’t touch it, you touch it, and after you do, you run away in fear. He is a dangerous man.

Knock knock.

At that moment, there was a knock on the front door from outside. It must have been the person who had run the errand who had returned. It must have been about thirty minutes since he asked him to buy drinks and food. Probably.

“Lay down.”

Leaving Hee-young on the bed, the man walked to the front door without covering his lower body. The hair on the man’s sagging cock, soaked with semen and love juice, was tangled wetly. The man, who had no intention of covering it up, opened the front door. The person standing outside the door was not someone who had come back from an errand.

“Hey, hey, Mr. Lee?”

The one standing outside the front door with a pale face was Yun Seon-oh.

“Representative Seon, it’s nice to see you all here.”

Unlike Seon-oh, who was flustered, Jong-woo Lee was relaxed.

“Um, um, why is the CEO here… … .”

Yun Seon-oh rolled his eyes, sweating profusely, not knowing where to look.

“Oh, I was just making some rice cakes. Would you like to come in?”

Jong-woo opened the front door wide and showed inside. In the hallway, a bed immediately caught Seon-oh’s eye. And the naked figure of Hee-young lying on the bed was clearly visible to Seon-oh’s eyes.

“T, T, so why is Representative Lee here… … . And why is Ji-ae…?”

“Oh, it’s so noisy. Why, why? Can’t you hear me talking? Are your ears blocked?”

Seon-oh shrugged his shoulders at the fierce voice.

“Fuck. Are you coming in or not?”

“D, going in is a bit… … .”

“Why? Are you upset? Are you upset because I touched your girl?”

“Oh, no. That’s not it… … .”

“No? You’re a bastard without balls. The woman you’re going to marry was just biting my dick while I was dripping my semen in her a little while ago. Doesn’t that make you feel bad?”

“That, that… … .”

“Are you still going to do it?”

“Yes?”

“Are still going to get married? Can you marry a woman like her?”

“That, that is… … .”

“That girl and I have known each other for a while. Do you want to marry her?”

“Oh, no. No.”

“Then don’t come back again. That woman is not your woman anymore.”

“I, that, then… … .”

“Then what?”

“I, my business with your office is… … .”

Lee couldn’t hide his dumbfounded expression at Yoon Seon-oh’s words, which he barely managed to get out while sweating profusely.

“Keep handling what you’re doing.”

“Okay, okay, please take care of it!”

The man who was watching Yoon Seon-oh bow at a 90-degree angle and run away like he was being chased turned his head and looked at Hee-young on the bed. Hee-young was covering herself with a blanket.

“Hey, that kid asked me to do a good job.”

At that moment, a man in a suit waiting outside the front door quietly hands him a paper bag.

“I’ll be there in a bit, so have the car wait for me.”

“Yes.”

The man who had closed the door approached Hee-young and sat down on the bed.

“I bought this. Does it suit your taste?”

What he took out of the paper bag and handed to Heeyoung was a sushi lunch box.

“Wouldn’t raw fish be better?”

“I like this too.”

Heeyoung opened the lunchbox lid, picked up a piece of sushi with her chopsticks, and put it in her mouth. She felt strangely calm.

‘There’s no need to call Seon-oh anymore.’

There was no need to explain to Yoon Seon-oh why she couldn’t get married. After seeing all this, this marriage was already over. It ended so ridiculously. To see him peeking through the open doorway. To see the woman he was going to marry doing that with another man, but instead of getting angry, he ran away like a sinner.

I hoped that he would come in angry and yell at me, even though that was unlikely. But he didn’t even fight and just ran away like a dog that lost a fight. That was all he was. Even though I knew that he was just that kind of guy, I closed my eyes and chose him because I longed for his ordinary life.

But the ending was so disappointing that I became hungry. And the sushi I ate after I was hungry was so sweet.

“Is it delicious?”

“Yes…….”

“Then let’s go to a sushi restaurant later.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I told you I’d buy you something delicious. Come to think of it, the only thing we’ve ever eaten together is ramen.”

“That’s true.”

I don’t remember anything I shared with this man other than that small room, ramen, soju, the smell of cigarettes, and the noisy inn. Come to think of it, I didn’t live with this man for years. It was only a month and a few days at most. But that one month and a few days relationship has continued unbroken until now. It’s funny. I ran to him to beg him to save me, and in the end, I ended up here.

“After you finish that, let’s go look at the ring.”

“… … .”

The ring. It was originally a ring that I had planned to go see with Seon-oh. But I am going to see the ring with this man.

“Can’t we just stay home and rest?”

“Do you want to do that?”

“We have done a lot.”

“I did a lot.”

The man laughs while sipping soju. The scar on his lip wiggles every time he laughs.

“Why is it like that there?”

“Where? Lips?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Don’t you want to see it?”

“No. I just wondered why it happened.”

“Are you curious about me?”

“Just a little…….”

“I was chewing on glass and this is what happened.”

Just hearing it makes my bones tingle. Chewing glass? That’s crazy.

“I don’t chew on it anymore.”

“What, what did you say?”

“Because I can chew on something else instead of glass.”

Heeyoung’s face suddenly turned red.

“And I am not an old man. So stop calling me Mister or Sir.”

“Yes?”

“I’m not that old. I’m five years older than you. So I’m not an old man, am I?”

“… … .”

I knew he wasn’t that old. When I first met him when I was twenty, he was a young man in his early twenties. And now that I’m in my late twenties, I know he’s just in his thirties. But the word “Ajushi” was just stuck in my mouth. I just don’t know how to call him instead of “Ajushi.”

“Call me by my name.”

“I’ll just call you whatever I want.”

“Haa…”

The man reached out and touched the corner of Heeyoung’s mouth. Heeyoung looked up at the man who was removing the grain of rice stuck to the side of her lips.

“Why didn’t you change? Why do you still look same?”

That’s what Hee-young wants to say. Why doesn’t this man change?

“You can think about it after I leave.”

With those words, the man put on the clothes he had taken off. The man, fully dressed, turned around as he was about to head to the front door.

“For me you are Yoon Hee-young which is far more better than Han Ji-ae. So from now on, I will just call you Yoon Hee-young.”

As the man who left those words, closed the door and left, Hee-young looked down at the lunchbox that was still full laying on her lap. In fact, this was Hee-young’s first time eating sushi.

She had never even eaten raw fish. She had never eaten raw fish before, she had not gone anywhere even though Seon-oh had asked her to go eat it several times. However, the sushi she had just eaten now was delicious. It suited her taste. She regretted not having eaten it sooner.

Will that guy be like that too?

Will there be a day where I would think that the raw guy fits my taste? But before that day comes, I’m going to run away.

This time, he will never be able to find me again, really. Because I’m afraid that I’ll think that he is good, like how I thought about this sushi. It’s the worst thing to get used to one’s body and heart, and then be abandoned by them.

If I am abandoned after enjoying a life of luxury, then I can earn money diligently and enjoy it again. However, if I give my heart and then abandoned by him, then how can I fill that abandoned heart?

So I will run away before that. One way or another, there is no other way but to run away. Hee-young took a deep breath as she put a piece of sushi in her mouth and munched on it. Even in this moment, the sushi in her mouth was so delicious that it was fucking crazy.