Obsessed with Regressors

Awning scolded her, but she ignored him and looked around. She didn’t know what’s so proud about a place like this. The coffee house was dark and filled with cigarette smoke. This was just a men’s club, right? She could see men whispering and glancing at her inside. She guessed they were quite surprised to see a woman here.

 

“How did you get in? Are you in your right mind?”

 

“If you know shame, be quiet, Awning Rensid. I’ll just give you a warning and leave.”

 

At her point, Awning started pouting like a goldfish. She spoke to the employee who was still standing next to me.

 

“I’m going to tell him something very personal and sensitive. Are you going to listen?”

 

“Oh, no.”

 

Fortunately, the employee retreated in a hurry after hearing her warning. good. She came to warn Awning, not to embarrass him in public. They had been engaged for about a year and had known each other as friends for longer. So, she wanted to maintain at least some courtesy.

 

“Shame on you, Eugenie Biscon. How dare a woman come into a coffee house?”

 

What, you bastard? Although she was extremely angry, she succeeded in calming down. She said, pretending to hold the coffee cup in front of Awning.

 

“If you don’t want to get covered in coffee, shut up, Awning.”

 

Then Awning flinched. As he stepped back, the chair dragged and made a loud noise. People’s eyes were focused again, but she pretended not to notice.

 

“The Viscountess came home today and threatened my mother.”

 

A relaxed expression appeared on Awning’s face, who had been afraid that she would pick up the coffee cup. He asked, tilting his head.

 

“If you’re saying I did something wrong even now…”

 

“I told you to be quiet.”

 

She spoke again and Awning reflexively closed his mouth. She was not finished talking yet, right? She spoke quickly before he could open his mouth.

 

“I’m saying let’s end it here before we end up losing sight of each other. I didn’t come here thinking I’m going to marry you.”

 

Surprisingly, Awning twitched his lips at her words. She was dumbfounded and opened her mouth. Did he really think she would come to this point and marry him?

 

“Hey, do you know what a break-up is?”

 

Awning’s face distorted at her question. He crossed his arms in front of his chest and laughed at her.

 

“Why? You think that if you break off the engagement and run away, Count Burns will accept it?”

 

Ugh. It was so obvious that he was trying to make her angry, so she wasn’t angry at all. She spoke calmly.

 

“There’s no need to do that. There are many men who want to marry me. I can choose from them, but what are you going to do?”

 

“Do not lie!”

 

Just as she thought, Awning got angry and got up from his seat. People started looking in this direction again as they heard the table shaking and the chair being dragged. Even if it wasn’t, it seemed like everyone’s ears were turned in this direction. She looked up at Awning and said.

 

“Sit down. I don’t think you want everyone to know why we broke off our engagement.”

 

“Everyone knows why we broke off our engagement! You and Count Burns…”

 

“Your lover came to visit.”

 

In an instant, Awning’s mouth closed. Shit. She sighed as she looked at him looking at her with a pale face. Funny enough, even after talking to Lord Hudson, she thought it might not be true.

 

“What lover?”

 

Awning’s voice became sharp, perhaps because he was embarrassed. He quickly covered his mouth and began to look around him. And he noticed that everyone was looking this way, so he sat down.

 

“Well, don’t lie.”

 

“I heard everything from Lord Hudson.”

 

Now, Awning’s face color was closer to blue rather than white. He trembled slightly, glared at her, and said.

 

“No, that can’t be possible.”

 

That couldn’t be possible? She couldn’t help but lament that the person she had once decided to marry was so simple. Surprisingly, she was not very good at looking at people. She should have ordered coffee. Her lips were dry and she wanted to drink something. At the same time, she didn’t want to put anything in her mouth here.

 

“I heard you told Sir Hudson that you had to break up because of me. You are so mean.”

 

She didn’t even know that Lord Hudson and Awning were in that kind of relationship. So it makes no sense to make excuses. At her point, Awning opened his mouth and lowered his body. And only then did he speak in a low voice.

 

“If you apologize, I might break up with Marcel and marry you.”

 

What was he saying now? In the end, she couldn’t bear it anymore and spoke out in frustration.

 

“I’m not marrying you?”

 

“Why? Because Marcell is my lover?”

 

“Isn’t it obvious?”

 

At her answer, an expression appeared on Awning’s face that said he knew that would happen. He said, crossing his arms in front of his chest.

 

“What does that matter? Anyway, our marriage is a contract between our families, and I’m not interested in women, so isn’t it better?”

 

She didn’t know what he was eating and why he was talking nonsense like this. Her mind flashed back to Viscountess Wrenseed, who had dared to come to her house and threaten her mother. It seemed that the food eaten in the Rensid household was the problem. She sighed and said to Awning.

 

“If you’re not interested in women, it means you’re not interested in me either.”

 

“Eugenie, you’re not really saying that you want to be loved by your husband, are you?”

 

Ah, this hurt a little. She tried to pretend she wasn’t hurt by Awning’s words. But she was hurt.

 

“Awing, in how many years will you die?”

 

“What?”

 

In response to her question, Awning looked as if he had received a death threat, and she waved her hand to express that she did not mean that. Of course, she didn’t want to kill Awning unless she felt like it.

 

“Couples live together until one of them dies. I don’t think it’s that old-fashioned or bad to want the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life with to love me.”

 

She knew. There were people who thought a couple who loves each other was a bit old-fashioned. But not me.

 

“If you also have a lover…”

 

“I don’t like it!”

 

In the end, she got so angry that she jumped up and screamed. She didn’t want to do that. A mistress, an affair, a traison. She didn’t like that kind of thing. She gritted her teeth and spoke to Awning, who looked at her in surprise.

 

“I want my husband to love me. I will love my husband too. That’s why I’m not marrying you.”

 

Awning had a bewildered expression. However, his expression quickly changed to one of resentment. He leaned towards her and spoke in a low voice.

 

“I can never marry the person I love. Isn’t it too selfish to say this in front of me?”

 

“Because you’re unhappy right now, are you saying I should be unhappy too?”

 

So he was telling her she was selfish? At her point, Awning changed his attitude and said:

 

“Lets think. It’s not a bad deal. I won’t go somewhere and have an illegitimate child, and you can live your life doing whatever you want with our family’s money. Like my mother.”

 

Now it looks like Awning was trying to convince her. There might be some people for whom that would work. A person who expected nothing from their spouse. There were definitely people who didn’t mind creating an illegitimate child from outside as long as it guarantees money and their own safety. But the problem between her and Awning was that she didn’t want that. She stood up and spoke quietly to Awning.

 

“Find someone like that, Awning Rensid. I’m not that kind of person.”

 

“Eugenie, speak sense. How are you going to find it? Are you telling people I’m not interested in women?”

 

That’s understandable. It might be difficult to say that. But that’s a matter of Awning. Her problem was that Awning tried to trick her. Awning became pitiful. She spoke a little kindly.

 

“That doesn’t mean you can dare to deceive me.”

 

“I will never let you marry Count Burns. Not with any other man. Go and regret it then.”

 

She gritted her teeth and sighed at Awning’s words. Just because Awning was pitiful didn’t mean she was not angry at him. She leaned towards him. And she whispered in a low voice so that people wouldn’t hear.

 

“Look what’s going on, Awning Rensid. I’ll have all of Balcian talking about you and your lovers until you die.”

 

Surprisingly, it seemed that Awning had no idea that she would turn out like this. Seeing his eyes widen, she straightened her posture. It was sad. She didn’t want to do it this way. She hoped that they would part ways on good terms. She sighed and adjusted her hat. And finally, she spoke to Awning.

 

“I won’t say anything. Still, we were friends. So, you too, step away from here. “With your mother.”

 

She didn’t know if Awning accepted what she said. She took one look at the men who were still whispering back at them and left the coffee house. The staff came after her to check if she was really leaving, but she didn’t pay any attention and got into the carriage.

 

“Miss, are you okay?”

 

As soon as Anne, who was waiting in the carriage, saw her, she asked: she guessed her expression wasn’t very good. She sighed and rested her head on Anne’s shoulder.

 

“What did you talk about? You should have taken me too.”

 

She chuckled at Anne’s light nagging. Her heart, which had been broken by the conversation with Awning, felt like it was coming back, even if only a little. She tried to get Anne to follow her in, but she stopped her. The coffee house did not welcome women and did not want others to hear her story.

 

“Nothing happened. Let’s go home.”

 

She raised her head and said that. She hoped this was the end. The Rensid family was a family with a long history, and there were many intertwined families. That went for the Biscon family as well. Breaking off an engagement was a story of mutual pride, but if two families fight over this, the social world would eventually become noisy. The ones who got hurt there would be her, Awning, and their families. The less damage the better.

 

—————————————————————

Translator Note: