No Need For Regrets

Special SS ~ 8

“Lexion, what’s wrong?”

“…”

“I was worried because you couldn’t get up today… My God.”

“…”

“Why are you crying like this? Did something really happen?”

Despite Seriniel’s continuous questions pouring out to him, Lexion couldn’t respond. He just stared at her blankly.

“If I had known, I would have stayed by your side… but Elsie has been bothering Kina and Vain so much since morning…”

Seriniel looked at Lexion with eyes full of worry. Seeing Lexion drenched in cold sweat, groaning painfully, and shedding tears non-stop, she felt her heart sink.

“Lexion…”

Reaching out, Seriniel held the limp Lexion tightly in her arms. She patted his back, as if to say everything was okay.

“Did you have a nightmare?”

“…”

“I’m right here. It’s okay now.”

Seriniel… is by my side.
Lexion, still unable to believe that obvious yet startling fact, remained motionless in her embrace for a long time, still shedding tears.

“I’ll call the physician. I think that might be best…”

“Don’t go.”

Seriniel, who had tried to lay Lexion down on the bed and get up, halted at his desperate voice.

“Don’t go, Seriniel.”

Lexion, who was clinging to her so desperately today, looked particularly pitiful. Not knowing the reason behind his behavior, Seriniel’s heart felt like it was being torn into a thousand pieces. So, she hugged Lexion tightly again and waited quietly for him to speak.

“You…”

“Yes.”

“You left me forever in my dream.”

Lexion murmured, his head hanging low, his voice filled with anguish.

“So… it was a nightmare of wandering for a long time. It was so painful, sad, and guilt-ridden…”

“Where did I go? In your dream?”

“…To a faraway place.”

The hand that had been patting Lexion’s back paused mid-air.

“A very far place, somewhere you could never come back from.”

“…”

“I never even reached you once, left all alone… suffering from my longing for you like an illness…”

“Like an illness…?”

“…I sought revenge you didn’t ask for… and followed you in such a dream.”

Was the nightmare Lexion had just a simple dream? Or perhaps it was a future I hadn’t yet seen? Although many thoughts crossed her mind, there was no way to know for sure.

“I’m sorry, Seriniel.”

“…Lexion?”

Seriniel narrowed her eyes, looking down at him as he suddenly apologized.

“Just… because I was too late.”

[I’m sorry, Seriniel.]

Suddenly, it was as if she heard it again. The words from the day she realized Lexion was the boy she had seen at the debutante.

…And the words she heard the day they were forever united.

[It was my fault. I lost you forever because I was too late.]

“So, I’m really sorry.”

[I’m sorry I was late…]

…Those who truly tormented Seriniel had never properly apologized to her.

But even now, after all that time, Lexion continued to apologize to her. Despite Seriniel having moved the painful past, living happy days with Lexion, he still felt deeply guilty for not being able to save her, even in a dream.

Of course, to Seriniel, that dream wasn’t just a simple dream…

“Even if we could go back to that time, Lexion.”

“…”

“Even if I had died unfairly, and we ended without being together… that’s never something you should apologize for.”

Seriniel swept Lexion’s disheveled black hair aside and spoke softly.

“If anything, I should be the one apologizing. For not realizing your feelings sooner. For making you suffer even after my death.”

“No, that’s not true.”

“…And I would have been immensely grateful.”

Realizing only belatedly that someone like you existed for me, who felt utterly alone in the world, I would have been immensely grateful.

Seriniel thought to herself.

“I, too, have sometimes wondered about dreams like the one you had. What would have happened if we had never met. If that had been the case… I would have been incredibly miserable, lonely, and sad.”

Seriniel’s gentle voice settled softly in Lexion’s ear.

“But that’s why I’ve also come to appreciate my current life even more.”

What a great blessing it is.
The fact that you exist in my life that has come back.

“So don’t say you’re sorry, Lexion.”

“Seriniel…”

“I will always be by your side, just like I am now.”

Yes.
There’s no need for more regrets.
For you, or for me.
Seriniel smiled warmly.

“…”

Lexion looked at Seriniel without saying a word for a long time.

And he thought, she’s really glad.
But it wasn’t just because he was with Seriniel. It wasn’t because many things had changed from when he couldn’t even dare to speak to her.

Simply…

Because now he didn’t need to ask… Seriniel looked so happy.

He was glad that Seriniel was happy, that she was at peace.

And he was grateful to be able to protect her, from the bottom of his heart.

Lexion slowly extended his arms and held Seriniel, who was affectionately by his side, tightly.

Seriniel’s small body was as warm as always, and even now, she was Lexion’s only salvation.

“I love you, Seriniel.”

“…”

“So much more than before.”

“But I feel the same way.”

Whispering softly in his ear, as if sharing a big secret, Seriniel was still just as lovely.
And her white hand, holding his tightly, too.
Lexion buried his face in Seriniel’s neck and slowly took a deep breath. Then, with clear eyes, he looked around the bedroom.
The slightly imperfect scarves Seriniel had knitted for him all winter and the half-used yarn.

The pile of letters their beloved Elsie had brought every morning, letters they cherished.

The chatty maid and the swindler butler.
Even the family portrait of him, Seriniel, and Elsie together…

Everything was telling him.
That the nightmare was just a nightmare.
That such things would never happen.

Lexion felt Seriniel’s warmth with his whole body and finally breathed a sigh of relief.
Then he smiled faintly at Seriniel.
She did the same.

“Today, High Priest, Ernest, and even Paul are coming for dinner. Do you remember?”

“Yes.”

Lexion nodded.

“Should we postpone it to tomorrow? They all said their schedules were flexible. Today or tomorrow, it doesn’t matter to them.”

“Why?”

“Just, it seemed like you wanted to stay with me like this today.”

“…”

“And I feel the same way today.”

Lexion hesitated for a moment, then slowly nodded.

He was so lovable and adorable that Seriniel hugged him tightly and lay down with him on the bed.

They looked at each other.

“You know, Lexion.”

“Yes.”

“I think I understand now why you seemed so lost whenever I cried. This feeling…”

“What feeling.”

“It hurts so much that you feel like you could do anything to make it better.”

“…”

“And feeling so helpless because you don’t know what to do, even though you want to do everything.”

Seriniel gently stroked Lexion’s slightly swollen eyes.

“Right?”

“…But you’re doing well.”

“Really?”

Lexion nodded.

“Why? I haven’t done anything yet. All I’ve done is hold you and lie here with you. If you need anything else, just tell me. I feel like I could do anything.”

“That’s enough.”

“…What?”

“That’s enough… more than enough.”

“…”

“No, if I can be with you like this… I don’t need anything else.”

After Lexion’s reply, Seriniel didn’t say anything for a moment.

She looked at him with her emerald eyes, filled with many emotions, and then stretched her neck to kiss his cheek.

“I feel the same way.”

Then she nestled against his chest.

“I love you, Lexion.”

“…”

“This will never change, so don’t worry about anything.”

The salvation he had yearned for and desired all his life but had never dared to approach was now telling him.

It’s all okay now.
We will remain happy forever.
That was enough. Lexion no longer felt anxious.

“…Yes.”

So Lexion embraced Seriniel, feeling her heartbeat with his whole body.

There were no more nightmares, no more anxieties, no more sadness.
Only the one he loved would fill his days from now on.
For a very long time.
Maybe forever, always.

Feeling Seriniel’s breath, which seemed to soothe his once-tense body, Lexion took a deep breath.

Then he smiled peacefully, savoring everything about Seriniel.

…Once upon a time.
A story that had happened but hadn’t, and would never happen in the future.
So it was okay to dismiss it as just a terrible nightmare…

And at the same time, realizing once again that where he stood was not such a hell, but a happy reality with his beloved Seriniel.

That was a perfect fairy tale.