No Need For Regrets

Chapter 74

Lexion looked like someone who couldn’t understand what was happening right before his eyes.

But only for a moment. He hurriedly sat up and reached out with his large hand, grasping Seriniel’s tear-streaked cheek, and asked,

“Why?”

“…….”

“Why….”

Had something happened while I was asleep?

Or had someone come by? Belles? Royden? Or perhaps Callian Helcar or that woman Leraie?

It felt like his heart plummeted to the ground with a resounding crash.

“Seriniel.”

Lexion urgently parted his lips.

“Seriniel, why on earth….”

And Seriniel’s response to Lexion’s question was something he couldn’t easily comprehend.

“Duke Lexion, are you feeling lonely right now?”

“…What?”

“Please answer me honestly.”

For a moment, Lexion didn’t say anything and just silently stared at Seriniel.

The answer he would give was already decided.

“…No.”

Lexion slowly shook his head as he spoke.

“I’m not lonely, not anymore. Not at all.”

Because you are by my side.

Lexion muttered in a low voice.

“I’m glad that my wish came true.”

“…….”

“In my eyes, you no longer seem lonely. Unlike that day.”

For a moment, Lexion paused briefly.

A few days ago…

[I thought you looked so lonely.]

The words Seriniel had said to him flashed through his mind.

[So I hoped you wouldn’t be lonely, wherever you are.]

“Thank you for staying well.”

[I believe you must be doing well somewhere.]

“As strong as you were that day.”

[You seemed so strong to me.]

“The Duke I see… is not pitiful, not miserable, not pathetic or repulsive.”

[So maybe you got used to being beaten and bullied… to the point that you thought you were pitiful and miserable, pathetic and repulsive.]

…Lexion finally realized.

Seriniel had come to know everything.

Lexion’s gaze instinctively fell to the bedside table.

On the table were a jewelry box containing earring and an old notebook.

“I don’t pity you.”

“…….”

“Who could dare pity someone who has endured such tough times alone…?”

Seriniel continued, her eyes filled with tears, staring at Lexion.

“No one in this world could.”

Lexion couldn’t easily speak. He simply looked at Seriniel with an expression full of countless emotions.

“You….”

And when he finally spoke with dry lips, it was after a considerable pause.

“…I liked you.”

“…….”

“Without even knowing what kind of feeling it was, how dare I.”

Lexion’s voice cracked miserably, as if confessing a sin.

“Even though I knew I was just a passing figure in your life… I couldn’t let go of my feelings.”

Would it end if I died?

This irresponsible emotion that kept growing deeper and deeper for you.

It was a thought he had countless times.

“When I came to my senses, I was always in front of the Viscount’s mansion.”

Lexion said with a weak smile.

“Sometimes I went covered in blood, sometimes in rags like a beggar. Even though I knew I shouldn’t.”

“…….”

“Sometimes I eavesdropped on you talking to the chatty maid about the book you read last night, or I watched you having tea by the window.”

In this way, Lexion was always with Seriniel. Even in the moments she didn’t know.

“If I said there weren’t times I wanted to leave everything behind, it would be a lie. The family, the unattainable feelings for you… sometimes… it was overwhelming.”

“…….”

“…But in the end, I always found myself back at the same place.”

Lexion couldn’t abandon Seriniel.

Even though he never had her.

“So I changed my mind.”

“…….”

“I decided to take control of the family, become a duke. To be someone who could stand by your side.”

What happened after that… Seriniel also knew well.

Why didn’t I realize this sooner?

Why couldn’t I notice someone’s desperate feelings at all?

If I had known even a little earlier, many things would have been different.

Though Seriniel was blaming herself for it…

“I’m sorry, Seriniel.”

It was Lexion who apologized.

“I was late.”

“…….”

“It was my fault that I lost you forever.”

If I had taken control of the family and become a duke even a day sooner.

And then approached you…

You wouldn’t have had to go through those painful events.

Lexion thought to himself.

“I’m really sorry for being late.”

Seriniel couldn’t say anything.

Seeing Lexion always blaming himself for everything, his consideration to never let Seriniel hurt herself kept making her cry more.

“You asked me earlier what my dreams were as a child.”

“…….”

“It was you.”

Lexion said as he gently caressed Seriniel’s cheek.

“My only dream was you.”

He didn’t need the status of a duke, great power, or shining honor.

In front of Seriniel’s emerald eyes that looked at him kindly, those things had no value at all. It was always like that.

“Whenever I crossed the threshold of death on the battlefield, I called your name for the same reason.”

[Death wasn’t scary. Because I had no reason to live. But whenever I faced the brink of death, the only thing that came to mind was your name.]

As she recalled Lexion’s words, Seriniel looked at him.

“If I were to die, the last word I wanted to utter… was your name.”

“…….”

“When you sum up my life… the only thing left is your name.”

Lexion could be sure.

Even if he were to contract a terrible illness and lose his memory day by day, forgetting all the moments of his life as if they were a lie, one thing would remain in his mind until the very end: Seriniel’s name, forever.

“…….”

Lexion’s sorrowful face was reflected in Seriniel’s emerald eyes, illuminated by the moonlight.

[When you think you’re left alone at the end of the world, when it’s hard and lonely… grant her wish. So that if someone asks if she’s happy again, she can proudly say yes, like before. Even for my share, which can’t be fulfilled.]

Is it really possible to come back because of such a wish?

She had thought about it countless times.

But now, she had no doubts.

She had no choice but to believe.

With feelings like this, with such heartbreakingly sincere emotions, she realized that there was nothing that couldn’t be achieved.

[Perhaps the fulfillment of his wish itself was salvation for someone.]

Johan’s words were half right and half wrong.

Lexion’s wish was also a salvation for Seriniel.

Seriniel, with tearful eyes, looked at Lexion and spoke again in a soft voice.

“I don’t think I can keep our one-year contract….”

“…Seriniel?”

Lexion’s face was full of confusion.

Even at this moment, he was worried. He was afraid that Seriniel might leave him.

It was an instinctive and habitual feeling. To Lexion, Seriniel always seemed like someone who could leave him at any moment without any regrets.

“I can’t bring myself to leave you, Duke.”

…But what Seriniel said next was something Lexion hadn’t expected at all.

“I think it’ll be like that forever.”

Now, Seriniel understood.

She finally knew the underlying source of all the emotions that had been shaking her.

“I love you.”

“…….”

“I love you, Duke Lexion.”