No Need For Regrets

Chapter 62

Lexion’s pitch-black eyes were filled with my face.

“….”

Seriniel, who was staring at him absentmindedly, belatedly snapped out of it and hesitated for a moment. Then, she withdrew her hand from his hair and tried to step back.

But Lexion’s movement was a bit faster. Suddenly lifting his head and turning his body towards Seriniel, he reached out his hand.

“Why?”

And grabbing Seriniel’s shoulder as she tried to move away, he asked.

“Why… are you afraid of that?”

Lexion couldn’t understand at all.

Being hurt… was nothing new. He had suffered countless injuries, some even more serious than this.

And even if he returned with a wound serious enough to endanger his life…

There was no reason for Seriniel to say such things.

It was his own choice to protect Seriniel, and Lexion would make the same choice over and over again, even if he had to go back thousands or tens of thousands of times.

It was just natural.

So, there was no thought of blaming Seriniel for that responsibility.

It was okay for Seriniel to have only that usefulness to him. It didn’t matter at all. It was all something he had accepted.

But why did she say such things?

Like someone genuinely worried.

Like someone who wished for him not to be hurt…

“I… don’t like it….”

And after a long time, Seriniel’s pink lips weakly spoke up.

“I don’t like it… when Lord Lexion gets hurt because of me. I know I don’t have the right to say such things, but…”

The grip of Lexion’s hand on Seriniel’s shoulder loosened slightly.

…Was that the reason? Because of guilt. Because she felt sorry?

It wasn’t strange. Lexion suddenly remembered Seriniel’s kindness from the debutante ball long ago.

He had thought the same thing back then. Looking at Seriniel’s small, white hand reaching out to him.

This is just compassion. Similar to the human kindness shown to a stray dog or cat being beaten on the street.

It would probably be the same this time too. If a dog raised at home got hurt while trying to stop a thief… the owner would feel guilty.

Moreover, Seriniel was a warm person. Just by looking at her inherent nature, it was evident that she would feel sorry. If it were the opposite, that would be even stranger.

But what followed Seriniel’s words…

Was something Lexion had never even imagined.

“No, for other reasons too… I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m always worried about Lord Lexion. Just like now.”

What kind of emotion was this? Why was I worrying about this person so much? Why did I feel sad looking at those wounds, which he himself didn’t seem to mind at all?

Seriniel couldn’t understand.

She worried, she felt sorry.

Her heart ached.

Lexion, who acted as if those wounds didn’t bother him at all. And the turbulent times when he endured all the pain alone.

His attitude of questioning the reasons behind such trivial worries was sad. It felt as if he had never received anyone else’s concern in his entire life.

Defining all these tangled and confusing emotions with just one color was too difficult.

But one thing was certain.

Seriniel wished for Lexion not to get hurt.

“….”

Suddenly, Seriniel’s gaze shifted to Lexion’s upper body.

His body looked like a piece of wood hacked at random with a knife.

There were scars that looked like arrows piercing through, and long scars that seemed to have been caused by sharp blades.

Lexion’s body was covered in scars.

“So from now on… please never get hurt again.”

Seriniel murmured softly, almost to herself.

“I know Lord Lexion has been through countless battles and suffered countless injuries. But…”

“….”

“Even if you get hurt thousands, tens of thousands of times… whether it’s a serious injury or a minor one… it hurts the same every time.”

“Seriniel, I…”

“Of course, Lord Lexion will say he’s fine. So don’t worry about it,” Seriniel said with a wry smile.

“But there’s nothing sadder than getting used to that kind of pain in the world.”

“And, there’s nothing more painful than getting used to getting hurt.”

So she always hoped he would make a fuss. She wished he would complain even about a small scratch. As if pain and injury were something unfamiliar to him.

Of course, given Lexion’s personality, such a thing would never happen, but still, Seriniel sincerely hoped for it.

“You promise?”

Seriniel looked straight at Lexion and asked.

“You said that to me before. That you would do anything I asked for… if I wanted it…”

Lexion looked at Seriniel with a somewhat vacant expression, as if he had forgotten what to say.

Yes. He had said that. And it was literally true. If Seriniel wanted it, if she asked for it, he could even sever the Emperor’s neck.

But just asking not to get hurt…

And it wasn’t even a request for herself, it was a request for Lexion.

“Was it a lie?”

“….”

“Lord Lexion.”

“….No.”

Lexion slowly, very slowly, raised his head.

“I’ll protect you.”

And then, in a low, barely audible voice, he continued.

“If that’s your request… then I will, without fail.”

“….Thank you.”

Seriniel’s emerald eyes looking at him were still warm and unmatched in kindness.

So Lexion instinctively realized. The words Seriniel had just spoken and the request she had made to him were undoubtedly sincere, without a single false point.

Just like he did for her.

[“Get up, quickly.”]

Suddenly, the lovely young countess who reached out to him with her hand as he lay beaten on the debutante ball floor seemed to overlap.

It wasn’t any different then.

Whether then or now, the person who genuinely worried about Lexion was…

Only Seriniel.

And treating him not as a parasite or a murderer, but as the same person.

So he kept wanting and yearning for it. Because there was always only one person like her for him. Before, now, and for the rest of his life.

“….”

When Lexion’s response came back, Seriniel finally smiled brightly. Lexion still had the same hard-to-read expression, but compared to before. Just a while ago, when Lexion was about to pass out and his thoughts were laid bare, he seemed much better now.

That’s settled.

When she thought that, she suddenly felt her face flush with embarrassment in this situation. Before, she had come here desperately because she wanted to see what Lexion would think, but now it wasn’t like that.

Moreover, Lexion was just staring at her without saying anything. It was even more strange that he was doing so even though he was naked.

“I’ve tied up your hair… so I’ll leave now.”

Seriniel couldn’t finish her sentence.

“Then I’ll…”

Suddenly, Lexion opened his mouth, interrupting her.

“Can I… ask something?”

“Me?”

Seriniel asked, her eyes slightly widened. It was natural for her to do so because Seriniel was very aware of her own situation.

Although Lexion could help me, I couldn’t help Lexion. Of course, I wanted to help in any way I could, but reality was harsh.

“Yes, please tell me. Whatever it is.”

Even so, Seriniel faced Lexion as if to say, “Go ahead and tell me.”

Even if I could do something. No, if Lord Lexion asked me for something…

I had to try my best.

Even if he asked for something difficult.

Seriniel thought so.

“….Accept me as I am.”

And Lexion, with his dry lips trembling, said.

“No matter what happens in the future. And…”

“….”

“Even if you learn something.”

At Lexion’s unexpected request, Seriniel hesitated slightly.

Come to think of it, he had asked for the same thing before to accept him as he is.

Why did he keep saying such things? As if he believed that someday I would see him differently.

…And then, for a moment, something flashed through her mind.