No Need For Regrets

Chapter 52

When they left the orphanage, the sun was already setting.

“Feel free to come back anytime. Though, I doubt you’ll ever come back to the orphanage,” said Johan with a smile as he bid farewell. Lexion didn’t respond, just giving a look that seemed to question why Johan bothered saying such things.

They got into the carriage together. It was time for Lexion to return to the ducal estate.

Lexion’s gaze, as he sat crumpled in the carriage, had been fixed on one place since earlier. Seriniel.

“Can I meet her?” It wasn’t Seriniel’s words, Lexion wouldn’t have come to the temple today if it weren’t for them.

As Johan had mentioned to Seriniel several times, Lexion was not a believer.

Lexion didn’t inquire about why Seriniel wanted to meet Johan. He only vaguely pondered.

People, when faced with difficult situations, often turn to religion.

And what Seriniel had experienced had been difficult enough to make her turn to even non-existent gods.

So, he had taken her to the temple…

But Seriniel’s reaction seemed worse than before they visited the temple.

Lexion’s sharp eyes caught Seriniel’s face, lost in thought.

She had been wearing that expression since leaving the temple. A face deep in thought, a face she didn’t share with him.

…Is it because she still doesn’t trust me enough to tell me?

Maybe he really didn’t know.

In the end, Lexion didn’t ask anything and helped Seriniel have some time alone.

Just quietly watching her face.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

After returning to the mansion, nothing noteworthy happened.

Seriniel was still mentally elsewhere, but she had dinner with Lexion and spent a normal evening.

But even while bathing in warm water and preparing for bed in the now familiar bedroom…

Seriniel’s mind was in turmoil.

“Once in a lifetime, a wish so poignant and fervent that it cannot be easily dismissed. Someone, thinking of the Lady so ardently, it could have been possible.”

Johan’s voice, tinged with a smile, seemed to echo in her ears.

And…

Even the black eyes that silently watched her from the carriage.

“If you have any further questions, it would be best to ask the Duke directly. I also happen to be someone who knows the value of life.”

Mulling over Johan’s words, Seriniel quietly stopped in her tracks in the corridor.

…Has the Duke fallen asleep?

Suddenly, Seriniel’s gaze shifted to the second floor. Lexion had been staying on the second floor since he gave her the bedroom.

But there was no sign of anyone from the second floor.

Reflexively, Seriniel glanced at the end of the dimly lit corridor. There, she saw a glimmer of light seeping through a closed door crack.

…Wasn’t that the study?

Silently contemplating the dark corridor, Seriniel slowly took a step forward.

“Is Duke Lexion inside?”

Approaching the study door, she cautiously knocked and nervously licked her lips.

“May I come in?”

After a while, the door quietly opened.

And there stood Lexion, dressed in a nightgown, looking somewhat bewildered and surprised. Understandably so, as this was the first time Seriniel had come to him like this.

“What’s the matter?”

Lexion seemed to think that unless something happened, she wouldn’t come looking for him.

“Nothing, I just…”

“Just?”

“I wanted to talk a bit.”

“…”

“Is that alright?”

Lexion’s expression seemed a bit dazed as he looked down at her. But soon, as if snapping out of it, he nodded.

“Come in.”

Thank you.

Following behind Lexion, Seriniel stepped into the study.

The study was spacious.

The shelves were filled with books on martial arts, and there were several well-polished swords displayed in the corner.

And on the large table by the window…

As Seriniel was about to look at the table, Lexion took a step forward. And with a firm push, he closed the window with a sound.

…It seemed like something had sparkled.

“If I knew you were coming, I would have closed the window.”

As he turned around and stood, Lexion reached out towards the window. He liked breathing in the night air, but Seriniel must feel cold.

“No, it’s fine.”

“…”

“I like it breathing in the night air. So don’t worry about it.”

May I sit here?

At Seriniel’s words, Lexion eventually sat facing her on the leather sofa, without closing the window.

“…”

A moment of silence settled between them. It felt like there was something to say, but Seriniel couldn’t easily find the words. She just found herself staring at him.

“Finally giving me a good look, huh.”

And so, Lexion broke the silence.

“I was worried you heard some rumors about me from Johan and lost interest.”

Lexion’s jesting remark made Seriniel smile softly. Then she looked at him and said,

“…Thank you for taking me to the temple today.”

“…”

“I heard you don’t particularly like stepping into temples. You did it for me.”

“…” Lexion muttered.

“It wasn’t that difficult.”

Lexion muttered.

“So, if you want to go in the future, feel free to tell me. It doesn’t bother me.”

“I was a bit surprised.”

“…. Why?”

“Lord, I didn’t know you’d play so well with the children.”

Lexion briefly hesitated.

“But why are you so embarrassed? You looked really good.”

“I’m not embarrassed.”

A lie.

It was a blatant lie, vividly evident in his flushed ears. So, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Earlier, one of the children you read a story to greeted me, saying how kind the Duke is and how people should know.”

“…”

“I felt the same way.”

This was genuine. Even though people’s reactions would likely be as Johan had described, still…

“I don’t care how others see me.”

Lexion spoke quietly.

“I was just worried that you might think I’m doing something unworthy.”

…Was that why?

Was that why he kept avoiding her gaze for no reason?

“Well, that’s even better.”

“…What?”

“I already knew that Duke Lexion is kind. So, it’s not something unworthy at all.”

“…”

“I just learned it in a different way today. You’re much kinder than I imagined.”

Lexion…

Looked like someone who didn’t know how to react.

Perhaps he hadn’t expected it. No one had ever said such things to him before.

For a long time, Seriniel silently watched him…

Then slowly, very slowly, she parted her lips.

“Even though you said you don’t believe in gods, if they were to grant a wish… what wish would you make?”

“…A wish?”

“Yes. Whether it’s winning in war or coming back alive… anything.”

Lexion remained silent for a moment. He seemed lost in thought, then…

“I’ve never believed in or wanted to rely on gods. I won’t change that in the future.”

He answered in a low voice.

“But if gods really exist, they should show me mercy. They’ve never done anything for me so far.”

…It was the same as what she heard in her dream.

“So instead of begging for my life, I…”

“…”

“I’ll ask them to fulfill the wish of someone who will remain faithful to the end. So when someone asks that person if they’re happy…”

[“Are you happy?”]

“I’ll ask them to grant that person a life where someone can say ‘yes’ anytime. Even if it’s a life that has nothing to do with me.”

“That’s all.”

In the end, Lexion would make the same wish.

And that someone would…

“Earlier, the Vice-Priest said so. That you’ve been through countless close calls on the battlefield. That’s what he said.”

“…War zones are like that by nature.”

“He also said you kept repeating the same thing, despite shedding blood and enduring hardship.”

“…”

“The name of someone.”

For a moment, Lexion’s pupils flickered. He looked at Seriniel with a pause.

And Seriniel, meeting his black eyes…

Asked.

“…Was it my name?”

“…”

“Is it someone who would remain faithful to you until the end? Is it… me?”