No More Regrets, Just K*ll Me

 

‘Just a moment ago, he wasn’t here; where did he suddenly appear from?’

 

I impatiently tried to shake my leg, but he held onto it firmly with his strong arm, refusing to let go.

 

‘Ah, I see it now. Benjamin. So you’re the prince’s bodyguard who is secretly in love with the female lead, or something like that.’

 

Although we didn’t see each other’s faces often, there was a sense of familiarity.

We had never really had a conversation before, so it was miraculous that I even remembered him.

Then, voices that I didn’t want to hear echoed in the distance.

 

“Oh God, Ariadeline!”

“What is she up to this time?”

 

Wow, both the male and female protagonists are here. I stood there for a moment, dumbfounded at the sight of the protagonists.

 

‘No, I just wanted to quietly die. I never wanted to put on a suicide show for them.’

 

Clang!

The crown prince drew his sword. I thought about jumping there, but with the rope around my neck, it wasn’t feasible.

Swish!

The prince elegantly swung his sword, cutting the rope around my neck. Finally, Benjamin let me down to the ground.

I sat on the ground, full of dissatisfaction, and looked up at them.

One of them, our angelic heroine, approached me and said,

 

“Ariadeline, what on earth are you doing? Are you trying to take your own life?”

 

As she shouted, our female protagonist, Dorothea, suddenly faltered.

 

“This…,”

 

Dorothea’s gaze fell on my neck.

 

‘Oh, it’s ugly.’

“W-what kind of wound is this? Ariadeline, what have you been doing to yourself?”

 

Dorothea shook my shoulder with a shocked expression. Oh, really. Our heroine is not just a saint for show.

To worry so much about someone who tried to curse herself with dark magic, whether it was a false accusation or something else.

 

‘I don’t need to explain.’

 

I said with a cold expression. No, it was more like whispering with my lips, since I couldn’t produce any sound at the moment.

As I pursed my lips, Dorothea’s face turned into a puzzled expression.

 

“Is your throat hurting? I-I’ll treat it right away.”

‘Wait, she’s offering to heal my throat?’

 

Come to think of it, she’s a saint. Her healing powers surpass those of the bald-headed monks.

A faint sense of hope descended like a feather.

My heart started pounding. If she could heal my throat, then I…

As I clasped my hands together and looked at her, Dorothea glanced at me with a slightly bewildered expression.

 

“It’s a wound, so it should heal sufficiently.”

 

Did she understand the meaning behind my desperate gaze? Dorothea positively responded. Unknowingly, my face brightened.

If she could heal me, I might not have to try to die anymore.

That way, even if I had to use someone else’s body, I could still sing. My chest fluttered. I tightly clasped my hands together.

 

“Then I’ll begin.”

 

Dorothea slowly gathered her hands and closed her eyes.

Dorothea was indeed a saint, as indicated by the title “The Saint Abandons Her Seat.” In other words, she possessed healing powers.

But how did she heal? That question was quickly answered. She opened her mouth slowly. And then…

 

“-.”

 

She began to sing. It was a beautiful voice. With eyes wide open and a heart pounding, I looked at her.

It was a common hymn in this world.

 

‘Oh, that’s right. She could heal through singing.’

 

In response to her voice, birds chirped, and it felt like the wind was playing along. It was a scene where everyone responded to her singing as if in a choir.

My hands trembled. If her ability could heal my throat, maybe I could sing like that too.

However, as her beautiful song continued and her voice grew louder, I began to feel increasingly suffocated.

 

“Gasp…”

 

Why was this happening? I was perplexed by my own condition, but how much more bewildered must Dorothea have been?

Dorothea looked at me with a puzzled expression and then continued singing.

However, as she continued to sing, I felt each note cutting off my breath more and more.

 

‘Don’t sing.’

 

And with both hands, I squeezed my throat tightly.

 

‘Don’t sing in front of me.’

 

Gasp-

My breath became more and more constricted. The first to notice something was wrong was Benjamin.

 

“Wait……!”

 

He quickly grabbed my hands. I gasped for air, but it didn’t seem to enter properly.

 

“Your Imperial Highness, wait!”

 

Thud.

The song ceased. Her face was filled with confusion. Perhaps it was the first time she had seen someone react like this after hearing the healing song.

 

“Why… why isn’t the wound getting better?”

 

Dorothea spoke with a trembling voice.

Ha-ha, I’m doomed.

Tears trickled down from my eyes. I knew instinctively.

This wound couldn’t be healed.

For some reason, despite the passage of time, the wounds and scars that did not heal even after the saint’s song proved this.

I belatedly felt despair rising up in my throat.

My wounds couldn’t be healed.

I gnashed my teeth.

 

‘I can’t sing.’

 

Unlike Dorothea.

After despair came jealousy, and after jealousy came overwhelming helplessness.

I wanted to break this useless neck of mine. But Benjamin’s firm grip wouldn’t let go of my wrist.

I shook my arms violently to break free.

 

‘Leave me alone!’

 

I might as well just die since I can’t sing!

I ended my own life because I couldn’t stand to see others singing, even a little.

I was haunted by a sense of emptiness, as if a part of my body had been cut away. I fell to the ground, unable to bear witnessing those who soared and sang with beautiful voices.

Thud, thud.

Tears streamed down uncontrollably.

I knew I looked pathetic, but the sense of loss at not being able to sing felt even greater now.

My tears spilled onto the pale grass. No one spoke. Even the warm breeze felt like it was mocking me.

The lingering sound of her singing, mixed with the refreshing breeze, was abhorrent to me.

 

“―!”

 

I screamed as if vomiting blood, but in the end, there was no sound.

As if everyone’s voices had disappeared, the forest was filled with silence.

 

“Ariadeline…….”

 

And it was Dorothea, our heroine, who broke the silence with her sing-songy voice.

 

“What on earth happened here….”

 

Her eyes were filled with bewilderment and sadness. Who are you to look at me like that? Ugh, it’s annoying.

I wish she didn’t look at me like she understood something she knew nothing about.

 

“Let’s go back for now.”

 

Dorothea said. Even though she said that, I didn’t have the energy to get up right away. I didn’t even want to go back. I just wanted to sit here and rot away. I didn’t want to do anything.

“…….”

Benjamin seemed to understand my state and lifted me up in his arms.

Ah, not just the saint; all the protagonists here are fools.

To them, I must be the villain who cursed Dorothea with dark magic.

I wanted to mock them, but I didn’t even have the energy to lift my lips, so I quietly exhaled.

The monastery we returned to was in chaos because of the missing Ariadeline.

 

“Ariadeline, I wondered where you’d gone!”

 

As if on cue, a shiny bald head greeted me.

He shouted at me. Irritated, I furrowed my brow, listening to his words with one ear and letting them out with the other.

 

“Oh, His Highness the Crown Prince and Her Highness the Crown Princess, please come this way. You have no idea how surprised we were when you came without notice.”

“Did we come to a place we shouldn’t?”

 

The prince replied sharply. At that moment, the bald monk looked flustered and awkwardly smiled.

By now, Dorothea, known for her gentle nature, would usually intervene to calm the prince, but she too remained silent, keeping her lips tightly sealed.

 

‘Using her powers must be tiring.’

 

I wiped my cheek, where tear marks remained. Benjamin, who was watching, gave me a strange look.

 

‘Now put me down.’

 

I gestured with my mouth as I looked up at him. Understanding me, Benjamin gently placed me on the ground.

My staggering steps came to a halt at that moment.

 

“I’ll escort you.”

 

Ah, what a fool. Benjamin is a loyal knight to the prince and princess, so why does he keep showing interest in me?

I looked at him with an irritated gaze, but his indifferent expression revealed nothing about what he was thinking. Eventually, I sighed and nodded my head.

He walked me back to my room in silence. Oh, the rope—I forgot it in the tree.

 

“Don’t do anything foolish.”

 

He said as he led me to the bed in the room. Why does it matter to you what I do?

But I was too lazy to argue, so I just laid down. I felt him watching me for a while before leaving the room.

 

‘Haa.’

 

Alone in the room, I forced myself to close my eyes.

Otherwise, I felt like the song Dorothea sang might come back to haunt me.

But instead, my mind betrayed me by recalling the beautiful melody.

I slowly opened my mouth.

 

“-.”

 

But all that came out was a hoarse sound. No beautiful voice like hers emerged.

I closed my mouth. Tears, which I thought had stopped, started flowing again.

If you’re going to give me a new life, at least give me a body that can sing, you damn god. Even after possessing someone, do I have to endure this suffering?

If you’re listening, God, please just let me die. Are you listening? Huh? Are you?