No More Regrets, Just K*ll Me

“Ah, don’t tell me she’s caused another accident.”

“…Just like the Duke.”

 

At those words, Carlothian’s hand abruptly stopped.

 

“Similar to the Duke’s madness…”

 

At that, he looked at the Deathrotea he had put aside.

Ssshhh-.

His sword was emitting a violet glow. The Deathrotea was glowing, but he was fine.

That’s strange; that can’t be right. Whenever that glow appeared, he would invariably fall into a fit of madness.

 

‘I should have paid attention when she said it was related to my madness!’

 

Carlothian thought. No, no, no. My madness is…

He stormed out of the room and began to make his way to Ariadeline’s room.

It didn’t take him long to reach the rooms in the annex. As he reached the top floor, near Ariadeline’s room, he heard the voices of the maids.

 

“Madam, madam, calm down!”

“Miss Ariadeline, don’t do it! Please, stop!”

“Someone, someone, bring something to restrain her!”

 

The maids were in complete disarray, not even noticing his arrival. Carlothian peered into her room, breathing hard from his run to get there.

 

“Aaah, aaah!”

 

Ariadeline was screaming. Her white dress was stained with blood. Her nails were scratching and clawing at her own arms, gouging at the bruised skin on her neck, tearing away the delicate flesh.

 

“Ah, ah, Carlothian!”

 

She cried out. Hearing her call his name, Carlothian involuntarily stepped into the room.

 

Only then did the maids notice him and rush to him.

 

“Master! The madam, the madam is-!”

“We need to stop the madam!”

“She’s hurting herself!”

 

The bed sheets were dotted with blood from her forearms and neck. Carlothian approached her, eyes wide.

Surely that was his own madness. But somehow, that madness had transferred to Ariadeline. What on earth was going on?

 

“Ugh, ah, aaaah-.”

 

She continued to scream and cry, scratching at her own skin. The dress carefully put on her was now a mess.

Carlothian approached the bed and grabbed both her wrists.

 

“Ariadeline! Snap out of it!”

“Ah…….”

 

Ariadeline’s blue eyes opened wide. They were dark and distant. Carlothian knew this look well.

It was exactly how his eyes looked when he was tormented by madness. A distant, disoriented stare.

 

“Carlothian! Carlothian!”

 

She grabbed him by the shoulders. Her small nails dug into his suit, piercing his skin.

Her pale hands were tightly clenched into fists. As if she wanted to hurt him.

Knowing well the destructive impulses that come with madness, Carlothian gritted his teeth.

 

“Master!”

 

Just then, the butler entered. He held the familiar bottle of medicine in his hand.

Carlothian urgently reached out his hand. The observant butler quickly placed the bottle in his hand.

 

“Ariadeline, Ariadeline. Drink this.”

 

Unlike him, who was accustomed to the madness, for Ariadeline, the madness was a foreign and agonizing torment.

Even though the full moon was not approaching, she was still struggling with madness, without any immunity from it.

She screamed, cried, and dug her nails into his body.

It was clear that she was resisting the auditory hallucinations that had come with the onset of the madness.

 

“Damn it…”

 

He eventually poured the medicine into his own mouth. Then he forcibly grabbed Ariadeline’s chin.

 

“Ugh…”

 

Then a violent kiss followed. He pried open her lips and poured the medicine into her mouth.

She resisted, but Carlothian held her tightly. Gulp. Eventually swallowing the medicine, Ariadeline gasped and found her breath, and Carlothian pulled his lips away.

There was no telling if it would work on her. It wasn’t a drug that directly helped with madness.

 

“Everyone out.”

“Yes?”

“Get out!”

 

With that, everyone rushed out the door with worried eyes.

Carlotian embraced Ariadeline from behind to prevent her from further self-harm, crossing her wrists.

In his embrace, she squirmed and sobbed breathlessly. Her blue eyes had turned a deep, ocean-like color.

 

“You abandoned me…”

 

She continued to protest with tearful defiance. He exerted more strength to hold her steady.

 

“You… made me miserable.”

 

Her resentful voice pricked at his heart.

Ariadeline, nestled in his arms, hung her head low. And she began to sob.

 

“Please… love me…”

 

Carlothian held his breath.

 

“Please… look at me…”

 

It’s Ariadeline again—the Ariadeline he knows. The one who always sought to assert her pride and attract his attention by tormenting Dorothea.

 

“……Carlothian, Carlothian.”

 

She cried out, her own voice, desperately screaming in agony.

 

“I love you…”

 

She looked like someone who was terribly hurt.

 

☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓

Blink.

As soon as I opened my eyes, I knew.

 

‘I messed up.’

 

I felt the warmth of a man’s body against my back.

 

‘I’m crazy.’

 

I laughed bitterly. It was more like an escape from reality.

Sudden voices of unknown identity and a destructive urge dominated my body. Resentment, hatred.

I remembered yesterday in detail. I wished I could forget it all, but I remembered every single detail.

 

‘I remember him feeding me medicine with his mouth.’

 

That didn’t matter. It was almost like a medical procedure. But there was something else that bothered me.

 

‘Love me.’

‘Look at me.’

‘I love you.’

 

Why on earth did I say those things? I tossed and turned in his arms, rigid with confusion.

 

‘Why did I say those things? Is blurting out words you don’t really mean part of the madness?’

 

But what I felt was quite the opposite. It was a sensation akin to a desire simmering deep within my heart.

The question is, why did I say that?

 

‘I don’t understand. I should ask Carlothian more about this madness.’

 

I glanced back at Carlothian. He still hadn’t woken up, his eyes groggy from holding me down all night.

I crawled out of his arms and stood on the floor, running a hand roughly through my disheveled hair.

 

‘Could it be Ariadeline’s grudge lingering in my body?’

 

I pressed my temples together, feeling my head throbbing with pain.

It’s okay. After all, it was something I said when I wasn’t in my right mind, and Carlothian will understand.

 

“…….”

 

Argh! Understanding, my foot!

I grabbed my head.

 

‘He’s not misunderstanding, is he?’

 

That I still love him? Of course, I thought it would be better if Carlothian killed me! But that’s different from love!

 

‘Let’s pretend I don’t remember.’

 

While Carlothian seemed to remember everything about his madness, I decided to play dumb.

 

“Mmm…….”

 

Just then, I hear a short grunt from behind me.

Turning around quickly, my gaze met Carlothian’s as he was slowly opening his eyes.

 

Unknowingly, I exclaimed,

 

“I don’t remember!”

“……what?”

“What happened yesterday?”

“…….”

 

With a feeble expression, I spoke to him as if making excuses.

 

“Why were you sleeping in my room? It seems like something happened yesterday, but haha, my memory is blank…”

 

I scratched my neck and spoke, making Carlothian narrow his eyes.

 

“You don’t remember?”

“Yes…….”

“You’re saying you don’t remember anything from last night.”

“Oh, not that I don’t remember anything at all…”

 

I laughed nervously and looked away.

 

“I remember starting to get a headache and hearing strange noises, but after that, nothing…”

 

Carlothian furrowed his brow and remained silent for a moment before sitting up.

I flinched. His shirt was all crumpled, and there were clear scratch marks made by fingernails.

 

‘Oh, I must have done that.’

“Anyway.”

 

Carlothian grabbed my wrist. I stumbled and began to be dragged toward him.

 

“Let’s get you treated first.”

“Huh? Where am I injured?”

 

He looked at me incredulously.

 

“It seems like you really don’t remember.”

‘Oh, right. I forgot.’

 

There were wounds all over my shoulders, arms, and neck, which I had scratched myself. I finally noticed the stinging sensation on my skin. Ow, it hurts.

Carlothian sighed as I furrowed my brow and took me to see a healer. While I was being treated, he suddenly asked me,

 

“More importantly, Ariadeline.”

“What?”

“You’re not coughing anymore.”

“Huh?”

 

My eyes widened, and then I wrapped my hands around my neck.

 

“Mirror, mirror!”

 

I quickly found a mirror in the room and approached it. In the reflection, the bruise had faded again.

 

‘What’s going on?’

 

Does this mean that Carlothian killing me was not the condition for my voice to return? I grabbed my throat again.

 

“Ah, ah-.”

 

I let out a long sound. It was rough, but the feeling of something caught in my throat was lessened.

 

“Ah, gulp, cough!”

 

But after making sounds for about ten seconds, something welled up in my throat and spilled out of my mouth with a splutter. It was blood.

 

“Ma, madam!”

 

Carlothian grabbed my shoulders, his face tense.

 

“My… my voice is clearer now.”

 

I smiled brightly at him.

𝑺𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑲𝒐-𝒇𝒊