No More Regrets, Just K*ll Me

Where am I? What point in time is this?

The only certain thing is that this is not the time point I have always returned to. Judging by this burning sensation in my chest, it’s probably…

 

“What the hell is going on?”

“Ariadeline-!”

“…….”

 

I heard Dorothea’s voice.

Yes, I have returned once again. And it seems to be the time when I was slashed by Carlothian.

Without resisting my fading consciousness, I slowly closed my eyes.

I have yet again failed to die.

 

☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓

 

It’s really cliché, but I was extremely poor when I was young. Our family consisted of my mom, my brother, and me.

Having no rice was normal. There were times when we couldn’t afford instant noodles, so we survived for months eating flour dough cooked in plain water.

The songs that played on the old TV were the only solace that comforted me as I matured prematurely.

Listening to and singing those songs was the only thing that pulled me out of the harsh reality.

 

‘Mom, do you think I can become a singer too?’

‘What singer? You need to graduate from high school and find a job.’

 

My mom wasn’t a bad person. She was simply someone who was worn down by life. She was just stating the reality.

I kept my mouth shut and stopped telling others about my dreams. But the more I did that, the more my dreams grew inside me.

Since middle school, I have worked part-time distributing flyers, barely saving up money to audition.

Seeing others who were properly trained made me feel small.

 

‘Hello! I’m number 14 on the waiting list!’

 

Just the fact that I could sing on this stage right now made me happy.

 

‘You sing really well. Your vocal technique and tone quality are good.’

 

This was the only way for a poor person like me with no special talents to be recognized.

 

‘T-thank you!’

 

But even that was short-lived. My secret auditions were discovered at home.

My mom cried, beating her chest.

 

‘Why won’t you let me do what I want?’

 

I stood in front of her, head bowed low, unable to say anything. I swallowed the words that rose to my throat.

Mom, but you let my brother do whatever he wants. I couldn’t say that in front of my crying mother.

After that, I became a high school student and worked odd jobs to support myself.

And that’s when I started going to auditions again.

It was the only hope for my life. But even my few high school friends didn’t recognize my dream.

 

‘You’re a good singer, but aren’t you a little late?’ 

‘Other kids start when they’re in middle school.’ 

 

I kept going to auditions despite their comments. I didn’t want to give up.

The heavens must have heard me, because I finally got an audition.

It wasn’t even a small company; it had several successful idol groups.

I cried when I received the acceptance notice. Although I anticipated a challenging life as a trainee, that moment felt like a reward for all my hard work.

However, my happiness was fleeting, as I encountered my mother’s disapproval. My brother, who was never much of a big brother, was also against it.

 

‘What? A trainee? Can’t you see our family’s situation?’

‘You really don’t think at all.’

‘We’re barely making ends meet, even for next month’s living expenses…’

 

I shouted angrily.

 

‘Who needs your help? Just leave me alone! I’ll figure it out myself!’

 

With those words, I stormed out of the house and sat in a corner of the street, tears streaming down. I must have fallen asleep like that.

Ring, ring…

I woke up to a loud phone ringing in the early morning. Leaning against the stairs, I opened my eyes and answered a call from an unknown number.

 

‘Hello?’

 

And then, my eyes widened, half-dazed from sleep.

 

‘What……?’

 

My house was on fire.

The cause was an unextinguished cigarette butt. My brother likely smoked and failed to properly extinguish it.

My mom and brother suffocated from smoke inhalation.

In an instant, I found myself not at the store stairs but in a hospital funeral hall, mourning my family.

I cried tears as if draining every drop of moisture from my body. And in one corner of my heart, I felt a strange sense of relief blooming.

Now, there’s no one to interfere with my singing.

I felt disgusted by my own thoughts. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed the toilet.

 

‘Ugh!’

 

Since my stomach was empty, only stomach acid kept coming up. And when I came back out, I was confronted by fate.

 

‘Are you the student Hye-in?’

‘Yes, but… who are you?’

‘I’m from EN Entertainment. We offer our condolences.’

‘Oh, thank you…….’

 

Surprisingly, it was the representative from the company I had been accepted to.

 

‘We really want to nurture you, Hye-in.’

‘Me?’

‘I know it must be difficult, but I wanted to come and tell you not to give up.’

 

I felt tears welling up in my eyes again, and I was so grateful to the representative for saying what no one else had ever said to me.

 

‘I, I…… don’t want to give up.’

 

That’s what singing was for me. A refuge from the crappy reality. It was something that liberated me from the oppression of reality.

 

‘All I have left is singing.’

 

It’s the only reason that keeps me alive.

 

☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓 ☪︎ ִ ࣪𖤐 𐦍 ☾𖤓

 

When I fully regained my senses, it was the same old temple, but it wasn’t Dorothea sitting next to me; it was Carlothian.

What’s going on, and why is he here?

 

“Are you awake?”

 

He asked. Fortunately, the wound from the sword seemed to have been treated the same, as it didn’t hurt.

However, I felt a slight annoyance when someone casually inquired if I was awake after being cut.

Especially since I failed to die.

 

“No fxck…….”

“What?”

“Huh?”

 

I opened my eyes wide in surprise. Wait, why is my voice coming out like this?

 

“Wh-what happened? Suddenly my voice… Kekk!”

 

But when I tried to speak longer, my throat immediately started hurting. I grabbed my throat and looked around, searching for a mirror.

I quickly jumped to my feet and looked at my face in the mirror.

 

“……!”

 

The marks on my neck…… had faded.

 

“Ah… Ah…”

 

I tried again, and sure enough, my voice came out. It came out! It’s coming out! I couldn’t hide my excitement and burst out laughing.

 

“Ah, hahaha. Ahahaha!”

 

I couldn’t stop my joy from soaring. I felt like I was going to cry.

As I buried my face in my hands, tears began to trickle down.

I can hear my voice. It may be just a little, but I can definitely make a sound. That hope filled my heart.

 

*Sob…*

 

I sat down and swallowed a long, deep cry. It was just a little bit, but I felt the tremble of my vocal cords, something I hadn’t felt in a long time.

My hands trembled. My whole body rejoiced at the sound I produced.

Now, maybe I can sing. Even just a little. Maybe.

But there was a man who didn’t understand this emotion.

 

“……What the hell are you doing as soon as you wake up?”

 

Thud.

Wait, if you think about it, why did my voice come back? I turned my head quickly at that thought.

Carlothian was looking at me with a puzzled expression.

Until now, death had only deepened the bruises. But when I died by his hands, the bruises faded, and my voice returned a little.

 

‘That man is my key.’

 

I rolled my eyes.

 

‘Is it because he killed me?’

 

Wasn’t I supposed to die completely in his hands, just like in the side story?

There was nothing I could be sure of right now.

Because even though I died by his hand, I’ve come back in time like this.

There were so many settings left out of the original story. I could only believe what I experienced firsthand.

 

“My husband.”

“I’m not your husband.”

“Then, ex-husband.”

“…….”

 

With a hopeful smile, I spread my arms and approached him.

 

“Please kill me.”

 

Let’s try again!

Why exactly? Honestly, I’m not sure. But maybe if I die again, I can confirm the truth.

 

“Please.”

 

I clasped my hands together and slowly approached him. He furrowed his brow and glared at me, but I couldn’t see anything in his eyes right now.

 

“Right now!”

“…….”

 

He stared at me without answering.

 

“Please… kill me. cough, ugh.”

 

As I continued to speak, something caught in my throat.

 

“Cough!”

 

After a series of coughs, I vomited blood into my hands. Ah, it seems I still can’t fully use my voice.

 

“Ariadeline!”

 

And just then, Dorothea walked in. Blinking, I pushed her body out the door.

 

“Uh, what?”

 

Dorothea stammered in surprise.

 

“Ariadeline, blood. There’s blood on your hands!”

 

Dorothea’s eyes widened in horror at the blood on my hands.

 

“We, we have something to, to talk about… Keu, cough!”

“Huh? Your voice is…”

“G, get out…”

“Ariadeline? Ariadeline!”

 

After forcibly pushing Dorothea outside, I slammed the door shut.

I could hear Dorothea’s panicked footsteps pacing outside, but I locked the door behind me and turned back to him. He was the first to speak.

 

“What’s going on here?”

“What?”

“You were definitely dead.”

 

Huh?

 

“I killed you.”

 

No way.

 

“But somehow, when I came to my senses, I found myself back at this moment.”

 

Did you regress with me?

 𝑺𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑲𝒐-𝒇𝒊