Chapter 2
Serenity’s voice echoed in my ears like an icy awl, piercing my chest.
*”How does it feel? Knowing that the indifferent man you spent the last ten years desperately trying to win over has left his seed in your sister’s womb?”*
*”S-Sister…?”*
*”I liked it,”* Serenity continued. *”The moment he held me in his arms, while never even sparing you a glance, was truly exhilarating. Watching you lovingly raise his child, completely unaware, was also quite satisfying.”*
As Serenity said, I had spent the last ten years tirelessly trying to gain the attention of my husband, the Emperor, Tristan. But despite all my efforts, I had never once shared a bed with him.
A disgraceful Empress, afflicted by an unknown illness, unable to receive the embrace of her husband or bear an imperial heir.
I had fought desperately to survive the mockery of the people.
And it was all for Serenity.
Regardless of my love for Dilex, I also loved Serenity.
From the earliest days I could remember, she had always been with me.
When I sneaked out of the mansion to escape our mother’s eyes, when we whispered stories late into the night in each other’s rooms, and even on the day of *that accident*—the accident that changed our fates—we were together.
I carried an unbearable guilt for the fact that Serenity had been stripped of her title as Crown Princess because of me.
And so, I abandoned my own desire for freedom and took the Empress’s crown in her place.
While I bore the empty shell of the Empress’s title, Serenity lived in the palace as she pleased, enjoying a life of absolute comfort and luxury.
But now…
My parched lips barely managed to part as I forced out a single syllable.
*”Why?”*
*”Oh my, dear. Are you seriously asking that as a question?”*
Serenity’s amusement was evident.
*”Because I loathed you. I despised you so much, it drove me mad. You stole my steps, you stole the crown that should have been mine, and I hated you and resented you for it.”*
How? How could she say that?
I had never once desired the position of Empress.
I preferred tiny wildflowers over dazzling jewels. Instead of dancing at grand balls, I wanted to run barefoot across the open fields. I wanted to live surrounded by warm sunlight and literature, not in the cold, ruthless world of politics and economy.
And yet, I had no choice. Because of *me*, Serenity had lost the crown she was meant to wear.
Even though I had never asked for it, I did my utmost to fulfill the role of Empress—for Serenity’s sake.
And now, she tells me that she hated me? That she resented me?
Then what about all those moments of kindness, the warmth in her words?
As if reading my thoughts, Serenity smiled and answered.
*”If I had openly despised you, you would have simply accepted it. But poor me, not you, deserved the sympathy. The pitiful youngest daughter of a duke, forced to take the throne because her crippled older sister hated her? People would have pitied you, not me. And I wasn’t going to let that happen.”*
…So that’s it?
She acted like a loving sister for years just to ensure *I* was never pitied? So that all the sympathy that might have been directed at me would instead go to her?
I wanted to scream, to ask her how she could do this to me when I had spent my entire life crushed by guilt, believing that I had ruined *her* life.
But I couldn’t.
I could feel my body stiffening.
Serenity gently wiped the blood from my lips with a handkerchief.
Had I lost all feeling? I hadn’t even noticed that my lips were bleeding.
*”You’ve worked hard. Thanks to you, the empire is set to enjoy peace for the next hundred years. Now, I intend to enjoy those hundred years myself. So hand over the position that has caused you so much suffering and return to where you belong.”*
A low, mocking laugh filled my ears, and then—
Darkness.
*”Farewell, my loathsome sister.”*
—
In the void of nothingness, I thought to myself.
What had I been living for?
Serenity’s injury had been my fault, yes—but it hadn’t been intentional.
When I stepped onto the snare-laden thicket, Serenity had merely been caught in the trap beside me.
I had only been six years old.
Tears threatened to fall.
Hadn’t I done enough? Shouldn’t that have been enough to earn even a fraction of her forgiveness?
I had spent my entire life atoning. And yet, it had all been meaningless.
Perhaps it was better this way.
No more suffering from an incurable illness. No more restraining my emotions, suppressing my rage and sorrow.
For the first time, I could be free.
If I had one lingering regret, it was Dilex.
My little angel.
I worried about how he would grieve for me.
His voice echoed in my mind like a phantom.
*”When Auntie gets better, Auntie will do everything she wants!”*
Dilex, my precious boy.
I would have given my life for him without hesitation.
And yet, he was born from the affair between my husband and my sister.
The face of my beloved child flashed in my mind—he had inherited his grandfather’s features. And now that I thought about it, his eyes were the same color as my husband’s.
I had never questioned it before. It was a common enough color.
But Serenity must have watched me dote on her illegitimate son as my own and—what? Laughed? Felt victorious?
Had her hatred for me been so immense that she was willing to abandon the child she bore in her own womb?
As I thought of Dilex being left all alone, a deep ache spread through my chest—despite the fact that my body no longer existed.
…Perhaps I should have at least said goodbye.
—
*”…Empress. Are you listening?”*
A voice called out to me from somewhere far away.
Suddenly, the darkness shattered, and blinding light flooded my vision.
I instinctively frowned at the sudden brightness.
*”Empress.”*
*”Ah…”*
As my vision adjusted, I began to make out my surroundings.
Seated across from me was a man.
Dark hair, green eyes. Sharp features, a stern expression. A disheveled uniform and a crown perched crookedly on his head.
Beyond the lavish banquet table, sat my husband—the Emperor of the Harden Empire, Tristan Ruind.
He looked younger than I remembered, but it was undeniably him.
…What was happening?
I blinked slowly, and Tristan sneered.
*”What, changing tactics now that your begging hasn’t worked?”*
As I remained silent, he continued speaking on his own.
*”Tomorrow was supposed to be the night you scheduled for our union, was it not? Surely the ever-meticulous Empress hasn’t forgotten.”*
In the early days of our marriage, I had indeed arranged conjugal nights in hopes of being with him.
Of course, I was never granted a single one.
I lowered my gaze to the fork and knife in my hands.
Wasn’t death supposed to be the end?
Why was I reliving this wretched moment all over again?
I was so overwhelmed that I remained still, saying nothing.
*”Unfortunately, I won’t be able to attend tomorrow night. Though, judging by your expression, you already expected as much.”*
*”…”*
*”Empress. Are you just going to sit there, silent?”*
*”No. I understand.”*
I forced a response, sensing that he wanted one.
But my reply only seemed to aggravate him.
*”…You understand?”*
He slammed the table, sending dishes crashing to the floor. A shard of glass flew across the table and grazed the back of my hand, drawing blood.
The sting snapped me back to reality.
For the first time, I met his eyes directly.
*”It seems the Empress is not particularly disappointed.”*
Tristan smirked.
*”Tell me, do you truly desire to share my bed? Because you don’t seem very desperate to me.”*
Wine spilled over the table, soaking his garments and pooling at his feet.
*”If you truly want to bear my child, you should beg properly. Crawl at my feet and lick the wine off my shoes. Prepare yourself to submit whenever, wherever.”*
*”…Are you laughing?”*
Tristan furrowed his brows, bewildered.
But I couldn’t help it.
I had heard these words countless times before. They no longer hurt me.
Back then, I had merely endured. But now, I could finally say what I had always wanted to say.
*”I believe Your Majesty is mistaken.”*
*”About what?”*
I met his gaze and spoke with unwavering composure.
*”I am not a whore, Your Majesty.”*
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