In fact, it was the opposite.
‘I still love Theodore, but I can’t forgive him.’
Since I met him again as an adult and fell in love with him, there has never been a single day I didn’t love him.
I loved him even when he lost his memory and treated me coldly.
If I hadn’t found out that I was pregnant, maybe I would have stayed by his side stupidly.
I firmly believe that one day his memory will return, and that he will apologize to me.
Sorry, Yves. I’m, I’m so sorry……. I… I…….
Theodore, who finally regained his memory, cried in front of me, saying, “I’m sorry.”
The afterimage of him, who burst into tears that he couldn’t swallow, remained in my mind and was not erased.
Since I found out that there was a misunderstanding between him and me caused by the malice of others, there were times when I imagined forgiving and accepting him without realising it.
I slowly realised it in that way of myself.
The heart that loved him still lingered in me…….
I didn’t, couldn’t cut it out completely…….
So, without realising it, I imagine going back to that time…….
And the fact that I still have a heart for him made me feel shabby.
My heart, which no longer want to be shabby, stopped me from admitting that I loved him.
So I said so.
I forgive you, but I can’t love you.
In fact, it’s the opposite.
I can’t forgive him for hurting me.
As soon as I forgive him, I fear I’ll become shabby again.
……I was afraid and anxious of revealing such a fragile mind to the world.
What a coward I, the Head of Chernicia turned out to be.
Haha.
A useless laugh broke out.
“Oh, My Lord. Do you want to go out in the garden?”
When I came down to the first floor, I ran into Laura, who had a tray in hand with strawberry juice on it.
“Yes, give it to me. I’ll take it.”
Laura handed me the tray and then I went out into the garden.
Then I saw Ernst sitting on the grass and the children hanging from him.
“Oh, my God…! Er, Lia!”
I raised my voice.
“Stop bothering Uncle Ernst. Your uncle hasn’t fully recovered yet.”
“We aren’t bothering Samjon!”
“We’re playing with Samjon!”
Er and Lia protested with an innocent look.
Ernst then burst into a low laugh.
“Yes, yes. We’re just playing together.”
“……Don’t overdo it. I’m worried.”
I slumped down beside him with a deep sigh.
The children who found the strawberry juice on the tray came down from Ernst’s body and sprang toward me.
“Thank you.”
Ernst grinned at me.
‘Strangely, the atmosphere around him has changed…….’
I offered him a glass of strawberry juice.
He sat between the children and sucked on the straw.
Above the innocent figure, I suddenly remembered him crying because he liked me.
Reawakened again, he did not mention the story, so I also did not mention it and pretended not to know anything.
It was when I went out to the front door to see Ernst off on his way back to the palace.
“What?”
Erwin shouted, pointing at someone.
“It’s Trash Azo!”
His eyes turned to the door.
Theodore was here.
“You’re here again.”
“Hello, Mr. Azo!”
Erwin and Odelia waved at Theodore enthusiastically.
I crossed my arms over my chest looking at Theodore, who came again today.
Next to him, a black horse was breathing heavily.
“Did you ride a horse again today?”
Recently, I knew that Theodore was very busy cleaning up after that incident on the Imperial Palace.
However, Theodore visited the Chernicia almost mansion every day.
I glanced over his clothes.
He was wearing a white shirt with no decorations and casual black pants.
He was not wearing any common jewelry or accessories.
At first glance, he looked as modest as those working in the mansion.
The problem was that his handsome face looked more prominent because of his modest clothes, but…….
Considering that he always pretended not to care when he came to see me, but secretly dressed up like a peacock, it was not like him.
Wasn’t it him who tried to change my mind even by using his handsome face?
“Hello, Er, Lia.”
Theodore drew himself down toward the children to meet their eye levels.
Then he smiled and handed over a small gift box.
“Have you been listening well to your mother?”
He would wait outside for such a long time without informing me that he had come everyday. And when he would come across the children, he would smile happily and hand them letters, flowers, and gifts.
The present he brought today was a toy dagger with a large jewel embedded on the hilt.
“Wow! Are you giving this to Er and Lia?”
“Thank you, Azo!”
How does he know the children’s taste so well? The children were excited to receive the gift from Theodore.
“Theodore.”
He looked back at me at my call.
“Yes, Yves.”
“I need to talk to you for a moment.”
I called him out of sight.
“I told you I forgave you.”
“Yes, I am not seeking forgiveness.”
“Then why do you come to me like a sinner who asks for forgiveness?”
“I thought I’d have to….”
Theodore glanced at me, and hesitated to answer.
“Even though you have forgiven me, I have not yet forgiven myself.”
“…….”
“That’s why. That’s why.”
Looking at me with an expression of incomprehension, he tried to pick up his words for a moment.
Then he carefully opened his mouth, hoping that he would not offend me as much as possible.
“You said it. You feel like you’re shabby when when you are next to me. You hate being shabby.”
Ah.
My lips, which had been tightly closed, opened slightly.
“But to let you know it’s not.”
“…….”
“To let you know that you are not shabby at all.”
“…….”
“To let you know that you are actually the brightest person than anyone else.”
It was a completely unexpected reason.
“Because I am much more humble in front of you…….”
I stared at him.
‘For that reason.’
I couldn’t understand him who came every day in a pathetic way and waited for me even though he didn’t intend to meet me.
“I don’t want to have a competition of misfortune with you. What’s the point of competing against who’s more shabby?”
Theodore smiled as he answered in a curt voice.
“I thought it would be nice if you knew a little bit about yourself. That you’re not shabby at all. That you are a wonderful person.”
“……I know even if you don’t do this. That I’m a cool person.”
I answered with an air of needless bravado.
It was useless abuse on a subject that was feared to reveal its vulnerability until a while ago.
“Really? What a relief.”
Theodore smiled brightly.
It felt a little strange to see him do something he didn’t do with a good-looking face.
Maybe he knows, I didn’t really forgive him?
“Anyway, stop coming like this now. I’ve already forgiven you…….”
“I won’t disturb you.”
He caught me in a hurry.
“I won’t bother you…… It’s just…”
Let’s see how restless he would be in case I say no, honestly…….
‘I feel a little refreshed.’
I knew it was a bad mindset, but why it felt so exhilarious.
‘But if I think about it, I haven’t received an apology enough to relieve my heart compared to what Theodore did.’
I didn’t know how I should feel.
Reasonably, I knew it was right to send him back.
He was the Emperor of Albrecht, and I also knew how much work he had do recently.
He couldn’t sleep well because of the work he’s been doing for weeks.
If he spends less time on me, he’ll be much more comfortable.
Besides, I had no intention being consumed my emotions or accept him again, as I forgave him anyway.
So it was only a waste of time for him to come to me like this.
T/N: Sorry for the late update guys! For your information, my Kofi account is closed for the time being. So if any of you want to read extra and/or advance chapters up to 5 chapters per month, please click the link below! You can support me without even opening an account!
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My Lover's Personality is a Little Bit Strange
Posted by , Released on April 17, 2023
