Chapter 8
Leave Me Alone! But No One Listened (8)
Slash.
I heard the sound of the sword stabbing right next to my neck.
Blue veins stood out on his arm exposed between the leather armor.
Ethan Behemoth spoke, biting off each word as if chewing me out.
“I asked. Do you. Want to die?”
“Ah…”
Only then did I snap back to my senses.
Clearly, the cold blade tip was aimed at my nape. It was an attack that would have pierced a vital point if I hadn’t dodged.
But why…
Why didn’t I try to dodge?
I blinked blankly. My insides felt sour, and I only now realized the sweetness in my mouth from fatigue.
At that moment, I felt the blade penetrating so close….
Instead of dodging, I relaxed my body to make it easier for the sword to pierce my neck. I lowered my eyelids. I waited for the cold sensation of steel.
Unbelievably, I had ‘habitually’ prepared for death.
A habit of not becoming desperate in the face of death, but rather preparing to meet a peaceful end.
That habit unconsciously relaxed my body in the face of death.
‘What kind of habit is this…’
To think that the idea of dying like this came before the thought of wanting to live when death approached so close.
“Haha…”
A hollow laugh escaped me.
If someone could read my thoughts, they’d say I was crazy.
I’m not even cursed yet, so if I die now, I might be able to die forever, right? At worst, I’d just regress again. That damn regression I’ve experienced hundreds of times.
So maybe I could try once more…
The depression I had barely hidden overflowed like a broken dam, soaking my entire body.
“Hahaha, haha!”
As I suddenly burst into laughter, Ethan Behemoth’s already displeased expression narrowed even further.
“Edith Crowell.”
He lowered his head more. There wasn’t even a hand’s width between our faces. Too close.
“You’re laughing? What did you do right?”
“Ahahaha, ha…. Ah. Just…”
I barely swallowed my laughter and squeezed my eyes shut.
My head was a mess with all sorts of thoughts.
For instance, what meaning is there in a life like this? Can this even be called living?
At this rate, aren’t I just living for a predetermined death… Such thoughts and nauseating helplessness.
Now I understand.
Ethan Behemoth is someone who despises such helplessness, so he didn’t give me the death I was expecting.
And he probably won’t in the future either.
The question I had tried to swallow rose to the tip of my throat. I slowly opened my eyes and met his gaze.
“…Why didn’t you go ‘all the way’?”
Finally, I could properly see Ethan Behemoth’s cold eyes.
His eyes were a deep, glossy navy blue, seeming to reflect my bright yellow eyes.
My eyes, which even I couldn’t read at all…
Yet he was looking into me. Like someone continually staring at an incomprehensible unknown.
As if continuing to look would eventually lead to understanding.
He briefly dismissed the situation.
“As I thought, you were trying to die again. That’s why you didn’t use your full strength.”
His expression was somewhat painfully distorted.
Unable to answer “That’s right” to that face, I naturally put a lie on my lips.
“…That’s not it.”
“You could have dodged.”
“No. My mana was at rock bottom.”
It’s not like I had really decided to die when I agreed to the duel.
Composing my brazen face, I firmly pushed away the sword stuck beside me, and Ethan Behemoth slowly pulled out the sword he had stabbed into the ground.
However, he didn’t move his body that was still on top of me, so I couldn’t get up.
He muttered in an irritated voice.
“You must think I’m a fool.”
“How could that be?”
“You even closed your eyes.”
“Because all my strength had left me.”
“Say something that makes sense.”
“……”
It seems no excuse will work.
I rolled my eyes once, then looked back at him and finally brought out my last resort.
“Well, at this rate, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to depart tomorrow. I wonder whose fault that is…”
“……”
“Who was it that insisted on having a duel when I said no?”
Only then did he quiet down.
But it was also true that the habit of giving up in the face of death was a problem.
Having decided to try to live out this life, it wouldn’t be good to appear like someone who could die at any moment.
‘But I might have already been marked.’
Glancing at Ethan Behemoth, his hardened expression looked quite displeased.
“…Come on, help me get up.”
I needed to change the subject.
“……”
I brazenly held out my hand to him. Ethan Behemoth stared at that hand for a moment before grabbing it and pulling me up.
“Ugh.”
The pulling force was tremendous, making my body sway like a piece of paper as I stood up. He spoke quietly to me as I stood.
“As promised for the duel, don’t forget to take that with you.”
Through the gap in the leather bag placed on one side of the dueling ground, the elixir bottle glinted in the light.
“Thank you. Then at the subjugation exercise…”
I picked up the bag without lingering and turned to leave the dueling ground. And then.
‘……’
…Suddenly, I felt like there was something I’d regret if I didn’t say it now.
I stopped mid-step before finishing, “See you at the subjugation exercise,” and slightly turned back.
Ethan Behemoth, who had been tending to his longsword, noticed my gaze and stopped, raising his head.
“Do you have something to say?”
“…By the way. Perhaps…”
“What.”
“…Don’t you have any friends?”
“……”
Ethan Behemoth’s expression changed as if to say, “What kind of question is that?” I quickly added an explanation.
“Why did you choose to duel with me specifically?”
I couldn’t understand what he meant by saying ‘this is the only chance for a duel’. Did it have something to do with us not being in the same group for the subjugation exercise?
“Because you can handle mana without a staff.”
He answered simply while sheathing his cleanly polished sword.
At the click sound, I found myself looking at his sword and asked again.
“Then why didn’t you come looking for me earlier…”
“I was busy. But then you caused another commotion yesterday.”
“Ah.”
That’s right.
It seems my panic-induced attempt to regress again was the trigger.
‘This is why it’s troublesome to stand out.’
As I raised my head, clicking my tongue inwardly, my eyes met Ethan Behemoth’s gaze.
“So I became more curious.”
…This felt ominous.
“Being able to use magic without a staff…. is just that. I don’t have an exceptionally large amount of mana.”
I quickly changed the subject.
Ordinary magicians can’t use magic of a certain level without a medium like a staff. But I can use magic with just my bare hands, a glance, or will alone.
I’m guessing this talent is what caught his eye. After all, this was an innate ability I had even before the curse.
But that wasn’t the important thing.
“…Then if we were in the same lead group…”
“Of course, I was planning to request a duel at the camp.”
“Good grief.”
He’s insane. Maybe it was just my mood, but my headache worsened.
What kind of madman sends people to subjugate magical beasts only to have them fight each other?
And that madman is right in front of me.
He calls it a duel, but judging by today’s duel, Ethan Behemoth would surely give it his all.
Just looking at how he drove his sword towards my neck earlier…
He took another step towards me and spouted nonsense.
“Are you interested in learning the sword?”
“Absolutely not.”
I quickly shook my head and stepped back.
“Why not?”
“……”
Ethan Behemoth leaned his head in close.
His eyes were shining as if they had never been cold.
As expected of a war maniac.
But I won’t fall for it.
I pushed his shoulder away and moved to the opposite side.
“It’s because of my lack of stamina.”
I heard Ethan shouting from behind.
“Your excuse lacks sincerity.”
“…You know it’s not an excuse, don’t you? After having that duel.”
I wasn’t just making up excuses.
I had already tested countless times to see where I had the most potential, and I knew I had absolutely no talent with the sword.
The sword-drawing technique I showed to that Chester guy yesterday was the limit of my talent.
‘There’s a fundamental difference between monsters like Ethan Behemoth and me.’
While I was thinking this, Ethan Behemoth’s words flowed past my ears.
“…will you?”
“Yes.”
“Then I’ll take that as agreement.”
“…Pardon?”
Huh? What did he just say?
I reflexively answered words I hadn’t even heard.
Ethan, who had been behind me, was suddenly passing by me.
His navy eyes, slightly turned to look back at me, glinted faintly like a languid beast.
“Mana and stamina. It’s just a matter of training them all.”
“…What did you say?”
I didn’t hear.
As I stared at him blankly, Ethan Behemoth grabbed the door of the dueling ground and dragged out his words for a moment.
“Didn’t you hear?”
“No.”
“…After returning from the subjugation exercise, we’ll do stamina training every morning.”
“…What?”
“I’ll be looking forward to it.”
It must have been obvious that I was thinking of something else!
Ignoring my voice, Ethan Behemoth left the dueling ground.
The glimpse I caught of his face… he was definitely smiling.
“No. Wait…!”
I called out belatedly, but he was already gone, out of earshot.
He snatched an answer from me and took it as agreement.
“…Hah.”
His black hair flickered before my eyes like an illusion.
“I said I won’t do it…!”
I muttered, full of disbelief, to the empty space in front of me.
I was left alone in the already wrecked dueling ground.
🥀
Thank you for reading! ♡
