Chapter 46
I Want to Be Helpful to You (1)
I wonder which regression it was.
On the way back to the Empire after the war, Camilla carefully asked me something she had been curious about for a long time.
“Edith. I know you were adopted into the Crowell family.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“…But how are you so close with your family members?”
Without the justification of blood ties or fond childhood memories, Edith Crowell was unusually devoted to her family members.
If it had been blind loyalty and faith for taking in a poor commoner orphan, it would have made sense, but the nature of the emotions Edith Crowell showed towards her family was closer to affection than such obedience.
Therefore, everyone who knew Edith Crowell wondered.
‘Why does Edith Crowell cherish her family so much?’
And why is she so certain that her family loves her just as much?
However, no one directly asked about this curiosity. Throughout this life, nobles had been attacking Edith Crowell using the excuse of her being an “adopted commoner.”
So, asking Edith Crowell about the origin of her affection for her family would be like reopening an old wound.
Even now, if it weren’t Camilla asking—who had become closest to Edith Crowell throughout the war—Edith Crowell would have barely moved a finger to put the asker in a state just short of death.
However, the subordinates marching behind them were equally curious, so they were secretly listening intently to the conversation between the two.
On the quiet march, after a moment’s consideration, Edith Crowell wiggled her foot in the stirrup of her saddle.
“Camilla. Have I ever told you about when I was young?”
“No. Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever heard about it.”
Camilla shook her head.
Edith Crowell rarely talked about her past. It seemed as if she had forgotten it, or as if she had no past at all before being adopted into the Crowell family.
It wasn’t just that she didn’t want to show it to others; even when alone, she never seemed to reminisce about her memories.
This Edith, to answer Camilla’s question, dug up a long-forgotten story for the first time in a while.
“When I was young. They say I didn’t speak until I was ten years old.”
🥀
The orphanage director took in a baby abandoned in front of the orphanage.
More than half of the children in Edith’s orphanage were taken in that way.
About a quarter of those abandoned children had their parents come back for them, while the remaining three-quarters grew up not knowing their parents. But half of those found new parents.
And for the girl with pink hair that split at the ends no matter how much the director combed it in the morning, and rough golden eyes that rarely became docile, neither birth parents nor new parents ever came.
Yes, Edith belonged to the remaining quarter of children who didn’t even get adoptive parents.
The orphanage located at the edge of Crowell territory was quite large.
So, quite a few nobles came to volunteer at the orphanage.
Among the few nobles who provided consistent help rather than one-time donations or volunteer work, there were Baron Crowell and his wife, who ruled the territory where the orphanage was located.
And it was a natural progression for Edith to catch the eye of the Baron and Baroness who came to volunteer every week.
As Edith described that point, she added.
“At that time, I wouldn’t listen to anyone except for one friend.”
“You were antisocial.”
“I was. Now the reason is vague, but I think I absolutely didn’t want anyone to know that I was sensitive to magical power.”
That’s why Edith avoided the Baroness even more severely. The Baroness had introduced herself as a magician from the Magic Tower.
Listening to the story, Camilla tilted her head with a puzzled expression.
“If you avoided her so much, how did you get close? I’m even more curious now. Did something happen?”
“Well. It seems the world sometimes moves by the malice of others, after all.”
Edith paused for a moment, then slowly opened her mouth again. She had never forgotten the memory of that day, even among countless regressions.
It was the day that changed her life.
Thinking about it now, since a magician from the Magic Tower had left to marry a baron, countless individuals seeking recognition for their skills must have rushed to harm the Baroness, taking advantage of her being away from the Tower’s protection.
Probably, the incident that day was also planned by one of those numerous and pathetic individuals.
Among the items brought by volunteers, there was one that had a strangely strong presence and gave an unpleasant feeling.
Young Edith happened to witness the Baroness about to pick up that item while organizing the donated goods.
Considering the Baroness’s skills, she might have already known and was trying to quickly deal with this ominous object before it could reach a child’s hands.
But young Edith’s thoughts couldn’t have extended that far.
And for some reason, Edith couldn’t just stand by and watch the Baroness touch that item.
Thwack!
To the extent that she threw herself at the Baroness she had been avoiding so much.
“…Edith!!”
The Baroness let out a sharp scream.
Just before the Baroness’s hand touched the item, Edith had rushed in, knocked her hand away, and dropped the item on the floor.
As soon as the item hit the floor, terrifying sparks flew in all directions. Young Edith was caught in those sparks and immediately lost consciousness.
When Edith regained consciousness, the Baron and Baroness were surrounding the bed, tightly holding Edith’s small hands.
“Were you trying to save me? Thank you so much.”
“Mother thought I had become able to sense magical power because of that accident. So, saying she would take responsibility, she chose to adopt me.”
“Is that how you opened your heart to them?”
Camilla looked at Edith with sparkling eyes. Edith lightly shook her head at such a Camilla.
“No. Even then, I felt uncomfortable thinking I was deceiving the Baroness and Baron. Because I knew how to use magic from before that.”
“Oh…”
“At that time, by coincidence, my friend also awakened holy power. That friend was soon to go to the temple. So we boarded the carriage, leaving the orphanage together.”
“…Don’t tell me something happened in that carriage?”
“Yes. Neither the orphanage director nor I knew that such a thing would happen.”
Edith adjusted her grip on the reins and continued slowly.
“…Back then, slave trading hadn’t been prohibited yet.”
Edith learned how easily a carriage carrying young magic users and holy power users could be attacked.
Camilla spoke with a look of concern.
“Then…”
“Yes. We were attacked by slave traders. I somehow managed to help my friend escape through a side road, but that only provoked their anger more, and I nearly died.”
A faint smile appeared on Edith’s lips as she continued speaking monotonously.
“That’s when the Baroness saved me.”
The Baroness could have just quietly waited at Crowell Castle for Edith to arrive, and if it took too long or if she heard the news of Edith’s death, she could have just accepted it as how things turned out.
She could have thought she had fulfilled her responsibility without guilt just by attempting to adopt a commoner orphan who couldn’t even speak.
But she didn’t. When Edith opened her eyes after the carriage overturned, what came into view were the Baroness’s bare feet, bloodied from running so urgently she hadn’t even put on shoes.
“…That was the first time I felt that my existence was loved.”
After that, Edith began to speak.
Diana, the younger sister who was already there, also took after the Baron and Baroness’s character and not only didn’t bully the adopted Edith but followed her very well.
“What about after that?”
“After that, it was ordinary.”
Birthday parties were celebrated for the first time in her life, fairy tales told by her father as they gathered in front of the castle fireplace at night, making cream cakes so terrible the chef would sigh…
Edith smiled more distinctly than before as she recalled these small, everyday moments of happiness.
“…It was all happy.”
Camilla exhaled a held breath and smiled brightly.
“Those were truly ordinary moments, Edith.”
“Yes. That’s why I came to love ordinary moments. For me, happiness is in the ordinary things.”
With family, with my people.
And now that the war is over, I can return to my family’s side.
I had never told this story to anyone around me before, but after sharing it, I felt somewhat lighter. It also felt like I was reminding myself of the meaning of life through countless regressions.
Yes. Only family could be a clear milestone in these regressions.
And I thought I could share this much of an inner story with a comrade who had crossed between life and death with me during the war.
While thinking this, Camilla’s voice came from behind, as if she had fallen slightly behind.
“By the way, about your friend, what happened to that friend who went to the temple?”
“I’m not sure. I haven’t been in contact since then. It was also a very long time ago.”
But how long does this forest path continue?
Suddenly, I felt suspicious. And I turned to look at Camilla.
“…!!”
At that moment, goosebumps rose all over my body.
Arrows were densely stuck in Camilla’s back. Blood tears flowed from her bloodshot eyes. She was on the verge of death.
I remembered.
Ah, yes. This was some time…
On the day we were returning victorious from war, I was so caught up in telling this story to Camilla that I didn’t properly prepare for our surroundings. As a result, we were ambushed by remnant enemy soldiers.
Camilla died. The other knights were also nearly annihilated.
There was nothing more I could do alone to turn things back.
So I…
As Camilla’s dead body slowly tilted towards me, she grabbed my arm and whispered. It was clearly an auditory hallucination.
“Edith. Die. Start over.”
As always.
🥀
“…Huff.”
I woke up from the nightmare. As I breathed heavily with a pale face, someone was standing beside me.
“Lady Edith…”
A voice seemingly drenched in ecstasy, vaguely dreamy and joyful.
Slowly turning my head to the side, I saw… Rimos Therion looked down at me, who had just risen from the bed.
“……”
His white, slender fingers approached and brushed my hair. He carefully stroked and gathered my sweat-soaked hair with his fingers, pushing it back.
“…Therion.”
My back, drenched in cold sweat, felt chilly. Therion met my gaze and smiled, his eyes curving.
“Is this the expression you make when I’m not around?”
“…Shut up.”
I cursed irritably while rubbing my face.
Then, I abruptly spoke.
“Are you done with what you said you’d look into at the temple?”
“No. I just came to see you for a moment, Lady Edith. I think I’ll be able to enter the Great Temple’s archives tomorrow. Is there anything else you’d like me to look into besides the curse?”
…If there’s something more I want to know.
I slowly lowered the hand that had been rubbing my face.
“…Yes. I have a request.”
“Yes. Please tell me.”
“Please—.”
Rimos Therion tilted his head curiously without changing his expression after hearing my words.
Then, as if understanding the reason, he smiled deeply and pulled his head back.
“I understand. When I return, you must praise me for doing well.”
And Rimos Therion kissed my forehead before disappearing.
🥀
Thank you for reading! ♡
