Episode 47
[Ga-eun’s POV]
“Unni*1(korean term for older sister used by females), you’ve only been ordering delivery food again, haven’t you?”
“No, I ate what I cooked.”
“Don’t lie. There was nothing but leftover delivery food in the fridge. Mom told me to make you some proper meals.”
Watching my younger sister put fruit in the cart as she said that, I couldn’t help but smile faintly.
“Seriously, I can’t leave you by yourself, can I? People who exercise should eat properly. If you keep eating delivery food like that, you’ll just gain weight! And your bones will weaken.”
“Yeah, yeah. That would be terrible.”
“Ah, come on! Mom is already worried about you living alone, and if you don’t even eat properly, what will happen? That’s why I’m here. Just to make sure you’re eating well.”
Grumbling, she steadily placed the ingredients on her list into the cart.
“Let’s make curry for dinner tonight. We still have the carrots and potatoes I bought last time. The potatoes might sprout if we leave them there at this rate.”
“Ah, they’re still there?”
“What? Don’t you even check what’s in the fridge? Saying you cook is just a pure lie.”
“I can’t help it. It’s hard to open the fridge when I’m tired from exercising in the morning and going to university.”
“That’s strange. Don’t people who work out usually manage their diet more strictly?”
She shook her head and eventually gave up nagging, saying it was pointless to say more and she was hurting her mouth for no reason.
I smiled at her and then asked,
“By the way, how’s your studies going lately?”
“Just… so-so.”
“Don’t push yourself too hard. Take it easy. Your dark circles have gotten worse.”
“That’s how it is when you’re in your senior year of high school. The college entrance exam is just around the corner, so I have to study hard…”
My younger sister, who had been diligently studying with great enthusiasm since the new year began, said so. I thought she wouldn’t come this year, but she packed her bags and came here during her vacation. She said it was because she could study better here than at home, but I was well aware it was because she was worried about me living alone.
“I’ve put in everything on the list. Anything else you need?”
“No, this should be enough. But isn’t this a bit too much? Can we carry all of it?”
“What are you talking about? There’s a good porter right here. I’m confident in my strength. Let’s go check out.”
My little sister tapped my arm and told me not to exaggerate, then pushed the cart towards the checkout counter. After I finished paying, we headed outside with our hands full of groceries. Something felt off. People who had gone out before us were rushing back in, their faces filled with shock.
“Is that a movie being filmed?”
“No, even for a movie, that’s too gorey, isn’t it?”
“I didn’t hear about any movies or dramas being filmed around here today.”
Everyone was whispering or staring intently at their phones, looking outside.
“What’s going on outside? Why are they acting like that?”
“I don’t know.”
My sister and I pushed through the crowd towards the door. Only then did I understand why everyone was reacting like that. Outside was pure chaos. People were running away in a panic. When I looked closer, there were people behaving strangely among them. People with blood on their mouths were moving strangely, as if something was wrong with them. They were chasing and biting the fleeing people.
“Unni! Look at this. It’s crazy out there!”
While I was looking around at the situation outside, my sister, who had been on her phone, shoved it in my face with a shocked expression. Curious, I checked it out and saw a live news report about a disaster situation where a mutated virus was causing people to attack and bite each other.
“What is this…”
“Right now, it’s chaos on social media too! What the hell do they mean it’s the end of the world? Zombies!?”
Zombies?
The situation felt too surreal. Zombies? There’s no way something like that could exist in reality. However, the scene in front of me, the reactions around me, and the real-time internet updates were all telling me that this was real.
“What about mom and dad… Are we trapped here?”
“Na-eun, calm down for now. This will be resolved soon. The government will take action. It’ll be fine.”
“But… the news is saying it’s an apocalypse…”
It felt strange to see my usually calm and composed younger sister being so flustered. Normally, she would stay calm even if I got excited, but now the roles seemed reversed. Maybe I hadn’t fully grasped what was happening.
No. That was definitely it. I hadn’t fully realized it… It wasn’t until I lost something precious right in front of me that I truly understood. This was reality.
***
– Unni!
No…
– Help me… Ugh! Help me, unni!
Stop it…!
– What are you all doing! That person has been bitten. We need to get rid of them immediately!
– If we don’t, we might all die! Get them out now!
– Please help me. Help me… unni… UNNI!
Stop it!!
The nightmare from that day kept unfolding in front of my eyes. The nightmare of the day that I could never forget. Every time I closed my eyes, the sound of my sister’s desperate cries echoed in my ears.
What did I do then? Did I save my sister? Did I stop the others?
I didn’t do any of it properly. I let my sister leave in front of me like a fool.
“Na-eun…”
My mouth tasted fishy from the blood of my bitten lips.
I should have saved her, I should have stood up for her somehow, so why couldn’t I do anything? I couldn’t forgive myself for being so pathetic. What was the point of surviving alone when my sister was dead? And at the hands of those monsters! I should have died with her. I should have died then. How could I live alone so shamelessly while having failed to protect her?
“Huh… I’ll kill you all. I’ll kill you all…!”
My resentment towards them grew stronger day by day. When I finally couldn’t hold back and those emotions exploded outward, people looked at me like I was a monster and kept their distance. When I belatedly came to my senses, the people around me were lying on the floor, beaten into bloody pulps and looking like they were dying.
Shocked by the realization that I was the one who had done this to these people, I was momentarily taken aback, but their hurtful gazes made me retreat. I hated this version of myself too. I was scared of what I might do every time I lost control. So, from a young age, I tried to channel those emotions into exercise, thinking it would help… but in the end, nothing had changed.
***
When I first met her, I thought she resembled my sister. It was impressive to see her speak her mind in front of the others so confidently. Talking to her made me feel at ease. She looked at me with a look that seemed to say she understood everything and listened to my stories patiently. Even though she was a stranger, she comforted me and got angry on my behalf. Then soon, she offered me what I had longed for.
“I promise I’ll help you. So, come with me, Ms. Ga-eun. You can’t give up like this. You want revenge, don’t you?”
Her words were so sweet that I couldn’t help but take her outstretched hand in the end. Since then, she never let go. No matter what I showed her, she understood and stayed by my side. Again and again— every time I let go, she always held my hand again. I was both grateful and sorry to her. I’m sure it was hard for her. The man who accompanied her seemed to dislike me being with her, but I wasn’t particularly. But that reaction was natural and expected of those around me. Only she was different.
“Y-you… if you kill me like this, you’ll end up just like us. You said we were murderers, and now you’ll become one too!”
Once again, I lost my temper and lunged at them. In the end, the outcome was always the same. As I regained my senses, I smiled bitterly at the man sprawled under my feet.
Yes, I was a murderer. Cowardly and pathetic, beating people to the brink of death…
All of this was done out of my anger against myself. The anger directed at myself for not doing anything. I was taking it out on them. No matter how much they deserved it, this was wrong. My sister would have said the same. That wrongdoers should face legal judgment. Retaliating only makes you the same as them.
‘But Na-eun. I can’t do that.’
I wasn’t such a broad-minded person, nor did I have that capacity to forgive.
‘You’ll hate this version of me, but I have to do this.’
Looking at the guy at my feet, I could tell from his mumbling that he still had some strength left, so I started beating him again. Finally, after he collapsed, I stopped and walked away, leaving him there. I felt weird after getting my revenge. To sort out my complicated thoughts, I just kept walking.
How long had I been walking? I stopped when I saw a pipe on the ground. Carefully picking it up, I remembered the first time I held a wooden sword. I was so happy back then…
I could not go back to those days anymore. I had already gone too far.
This might be one of my biggest fumbles in my translation journey, but Ga-eun’s little brother… is not her little brother. My only excuse is the fact that genders and pronouns are not how you’d think they are in korean, and she’d been referred to as Ga-eun’s little sibling 동생. This term can be used for both little brother and sister, and I’d misjudged the pronoun used to be male-sounding, and because she’d not called Ga-eun unni in any chapter before, it hadn’t been so clear. There are specific titles used for little brother and little sisters such as 남동생 (younger brother) or 여동생 (younger sister) but they weren’t used so it was a bit tricky. I’ll do the correction in all previous chapters when I can, apologies for the mistake.
