Mental Caretaker In An Apolcalypse Game

Episode 43

[Do-yoon’s POV]

I hated that woman. It was because her eyes that were always on me seemed to shift to her, and all her attention went to her. What was so good about that woman anyway…? I couldn’t understand why she was treating a stranger she’d just met like that. I was anxious that I would lose my noona to that woman.

“Noona, can I bite you?”

“What? Are you crazy?!”

So I acted even more childish. I wanted her to look at me. Even though I knew she would not like it, I insisted and clung to her. If I did this, she would look at me even if she disliked it.

As I did this, I stared fixedly at her neck. It felt like my mind would be a little more at ease if I could leave a mark there. I left a mark that showed she was mine, other people wouldn’t be able to approach her.

But even if I did that, nothing would change. Noona would just go to someone else first, just like she did with me and that woman. I looked coldly towards the basement where the woman would go.

‘If only she would do that just for me… Why does she have to go to other people too?’

Really, my sister knew how to make people anxious. She would approach first, treat you well, make it seem like she would give you anything, and then when you got close, she would push you away and look elsewhere.

“Haah… She’s really… I really don’t know what to do.”

I muttered quietly as I watched her back as she took the woman into the basement.

***

Just as my sister said, the moment I used my power, my vision was dyed black. Then, scenes from that time I didn’t want to see replayed in my head, and even memories I wanted to forget were dredged up. I kept telling myself that it was all in the past and that I was okay now, but those memories refused to disappear and gnawed at me. As I was lost in these thoughts, I felt a presence beside me and turned to see her looking at me with a worried expression.

“Oh. It’s you, noona.”

“…Are you coming to your senses?”

I felt relieved for a moment to see her alive, unlike the image in my memories, but my mood quickly sank. Even though she was by my side now, she would eventually abandon me again and leave me. And then she wouldn’t remember me.

“What…? What are you doing…!”

I didn’t like that. If she was going to die anyway, wouldn’t it be better for her to die by my hand? Rather than suffering a painful death at the hands of zombies later, I thought it would be better for me to make it easy for her here and now.

“Ugh…!”

She looked at me plaintively, with tears welling up in her eyes. Her attempts to escape by grabbing my wrist and struggling seemed strangely cute to me somehow, and I felt an inexplicable joy. She was crying and pleading, and the fact that it was because of me made me feel good.

“Why are you crying? Are you scared? It’s okay. I’ll follow you after you die. You won’t be alone, noona. I won’t let you be. So there’s no need to be scared. Let’s start over from the beginning again.”

I smiled slightly and wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes. Seeing her finally stop resisting and start to lose consciousness, I felt satisfied. But then I suddenly thought this; if she died like this, the same things would happen again and again. Nothing would change. She would forget me again, and I would be the only one who remembers her.

I released the strength in my hands and let her go. She collapsed weakly to the floor, gasping for air.

“…I guess nothing would change even if I ended it like this.”

“…”

“So let’s do it this way.”

I leaned down and met her eyes. Then I took her hand and placed it on my neck.

“If we do it like this, you’ll never forget me, right?”

Yes, if I die by your hand, you’ll never forget me.

“It’s unfair for me to be the only one to suffer, right? So let’s be fair.”

Just as I had always struggled with the guilt of not being able to protect her. I wanted her to struggle forever with the guilt of killing me. I wanted her to think of me and care only about me, just as I thought of her.

 

***

 

It was just for a moment, but there was definitely a door there. It was marked with a sign that read “4th floor.” But at the time, I was being chased by that guy, so I didn’t have the leisure to go inside and check. Eventually, I died and came back, but…

What on earth was that door, anyway? Maybe I was mistaken. Perhaps the 4th floor existed in this hospital from the beginning and I just didn’t realize — I pondered this as I examined the floor map. However, the 4th floor did not exist on the guide map either. It showed that the 5th floor was directly above the 3rd floor, but I still wanted to confirm it with my own eyes once more.

“Let’s go to the 5th floor.”

So I suggested going to the 5th floor. When she heard that, she looked at the map with a somewhat displeased expression but eventually agreed with my persuasion. Upon arriving on the 5th floor, I stared intently at the spot where the 4th floor door should have been. But all I could see was a white wall.

‘Well, of course, there’s no 4th floor.’

Confirming that I had been mistaken, I turned around without any lingering attachment and went down to the 3rd floor. She, who had been standing still, tilted her head as if my behavior was strange. Then she was suddenly startled by a sound from above and hurriedly came down.

After that, we decided to look around the west corridor of the . While doing so, I remembered the woman we had left behind. There was no way she would wake up from her unconscious state and even get out of the car before we perished here. So, there was no need to keep her under a shadow, but since Noona had wanted it, we left her there… But the situation had taken a somewhat strange turn.

Zombies started gathering around the car, clinging to it and making noises as if they knew there was someone inside in the meanwhile. The commotion woke the woman up. She discovered the zombies stuck to the car window and was visibly startled.

As the situation unfolded in an unexpected direction, I wondered how to react. Should I tell her about this? Logically, it would be right to tell her, but I didn’t want to. If she found out about this, she would likely become completely preoccupied with it, neglecting to look around herself and acting hastily. That wouldn’t be good in a situation where zombies could pop out from anywhere. And perhaps it would be better if obstacles like her just disappeared. After all, I didn’t want anyone interfering between us.

With that in mind, I was just going to ignore the situation I had just witnessed and move past it, but I suddenly saw the woman open the car door and run outside. I stopped in my tracks, cursing under my breath at the sight, and she, who was walking next to me, also stopped, expressing her confusion.

“Ah, damn it.”

“What’s wrong?”

Reflexively, I moved the shadow to follow her. The woman was running away from the zombies, pressing against the wounded area with her hand. At this rate, she wouldn’t be able to go far before being caught and killed by them.

Why did she come outside to escape in such a state? If she had stayed in the car, she might have had a slightly better chance of surviving. I clicked my tongue inwardly and used the shadow to bite and tear apart a nearby zombie. What should I do… Should I just let her die? As I pondered this, I looked at the girl next to me with worried eyes.

“It’s nothing. More importantly, keep an eye on our surroundings. You never know what might jump out.”

“Oh… Okay.”

I wanted to just let her die at this point, but if I did, it was obvious that Noona would hate me. I didn’t want her to hate me yet. But I also didn’t want to actively save that woman.

In the end, I moved the shadow to deal with a few nearby zombies and pulled the fleeing woman’s pant leg to drag her towards the hospital. The woman, who had been running without looking back, turned to look at us. Maybe it would be better for her to come to the hospital instead of going somewhere else. Moreover, the first floor had already been cleared, so there wouldn’t be many zombies. If I helped her this much, I thought she would understand and come this way. I ordered the shadow to deal with the remaining zombies and released the shared vision. If she couldn’t understand even after all this and died, then it was just her fate.

As my attention returned and I was about to move again, I heard a sound from somewhere.

“But don’t you hear anything?”

“Anything? Oh, you mean that sound? I’ve been hearing it since a while ago.”

Realizing something was wrong when she said the sound had been going on for a while, I hurriedly pulled her towards the wall.

Bang! Before long, a mobile bed swiftly passed by us and crashed through the door of the intensive care unit, disappearing inside. I was momentarily stunned and had to suppress a hollow laugh.

Ha, really. What should I do with this Noona? How can she survive here when she’s so defenseless? Really, if I was distracted even a bit, problems like this would arise — I couldn’t relax for a moment.

 

***

 

I smiled bitterly as I watched her struggling, trying to turn a blind eye to reality. Indeed, what I saw back then wasn’t a mistake. The 4th floor did exist, and this place was a trap. If I had known this, I wouldn’t have entered this place. Still, I felt relieved that she came here with me, not alone. I had no intention of letting her die this time.

“I’ll sacrifice myself for you.”

At my words, she looked at me with a serious expression. Her gaze clearly conveyed that I should say no more.

“I’ll be the sacrifice.”

“You…!”

At that moment, the red that had been spreading around us stopped and did not extend more. She must have noticed it too, as she urgently grabbed my arm and shouted for me to cancel it immediately. But I had no intention of bending my will.

“I want you to live.”

I didn’t want to be left alone again, like before. Thinking back to that time when I could only wait outside the door, unable to do anything, I pushed her outside. She struggled until the last moment, trying her best to not go out. Was this what I looked like back then? To calm her down for a moment, I forced a smile and then pushed her out of the door completely.

Silence flowed as the door closed and her voice could no longer be heard. I slowly turned around. Then, as if it had always been that way, I saw the red spreading rapidly around again. Before long, the once white areas disappeared without a trace, and everything around me was dyed crimson. I, too, was enveloped in red.

 

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this mf is insane and I want to give him a hug but also send him to therapy