Episode 34
“Stop… Please, just stop…”
The current situation was terrifying. A situation where I couldn’t do anything… It was so frightening.
Why did it turn out like this? I knew that using his ability would make his condition worse. But I never expected it to be this bad. I had expected negative whispers to haunt his ears at best, or talking to himself as if conversing with someone, or seeing hallucinations, and other side effects. But what was this? Why was he acting this way towards me? I couldn’t think of any way to deal with his aggressive behavior.
“Noona. What are you looking at? You should be looking at me. Huh? You need to clearly see me dying with your own eyes so you won’t forget.”
“Don’t do this… Do-yoon, please.”
“Do you know what you look like right now, noona? It’s like I’m looking at myself. It’s the same as when I held my dead noona and cried. Keep looking at me like that.”
I felt like I was going to throw up. My stomach churned, and my head throbbed. Really, I felt like I was losing my mind.
He didn’t lose his smile even as he strangled himself. It was as if he didn’t want to miss a single moment of this. Even his eyes were terrifying.
I’d been too reckless. Helping him from the side so he wouldn’t fall apart? Managing his mental state every time it was affected by the side effects? It was all nonsense. I was thinking such foolish thoughts as if I were some great person. From the beginning, this was something I couldn’t handle. He was way crazier than I thought.
I thought I knew him well, very well, in fact, but that wasn’t it. I had judged him based on fragmented information from the game, and this was what had happened. It was all my fault.
“Ugh…”
At that moment, I felt the strength in his hand, which was wrapped around mine, begin to weaken. Seizing the opportunity, I quickly distanced myself from him and looked at him with trembling eyes. He was clutching his head again, seeming to be in even more pain than before. I turned my head to look at the main zombie. It was already consumed by the shadows. Its occasional twitches suggested that it was struggling fiercely from within. Should I tell him to stop? The side effects of the power he had already used wouldn’t disappear, but it might be better than enduring the rampaging creature’s struggles as it was now. However, if I did that, everyone would surely die.
…Maybe it would be better that way. I couldn’t handle him anymore. I couldn’t tell him to use his powers again, and it had become a burden to go around with him. Only now could I be certain. All my actions until now were acts of indulgence. The fact that I knew the future and that I knew about him. I was stupid to think that I could control him with just these two things alone.
“Noona… Where are you?”
At the sound of his voice, I held my breath and quieted my breaths.
“Where are you… It hurts so much. I think I’m going to die.”
For a moment, his watery voice weakened my resolve, but I still couldn’t approach him readily. I kept remembering the him who was about to kill me just now, and the way he laughed while choking himself.
“Help me. Please help me… I keep hearing strange voices. I don’t want to hear them, but… they come through even when I cover my ears. Noona…”
Then, as he fumbled through the air searching for me, his hand touched my body. I was startled and instinctively pulled back, but he was quicker. In an instant, he clung to me, and my heart pounded as if it would burst. Worried that he might choke me again like before, I stiffened in an awkward position while he continued to speak.
“I don’t want to hear these voices. Please, say anything. Just do me a favor. I want to hear your voice, noona.”
“….”
“Please… You’re alive, aren’t you? You’re breathing and warm like this… Why aren’t you saying anything? Huh? Say something.”
He hugged me even tighter, as if to confirm that I was alive. The image of him from just moments ago, trembling like a wet puppy in the rain and clinging to me, eventually softened my heart, and I slowly opened my tightly closed mouth.
“I’m here. So calm down.”
“Keep talking to me. Don’t stop, keep going…”
“…It’s okay. You don’t need to listen to any voices other than mine. You can ignore them all.”
I slowly raised my trembling hand, hesitated for a moment, and then stroked his back. Then, I felt the tension in his body, which had been so strong, loosening.
***
I looked at the mass of shadows that had swallowed the main zombie. At some point, the shadows had become smaller than me. At this size, it seemed that it wouldn’t be long before the creature died completely and a notification that said the stage was cleared appeared.
On the other hand, his condition, as he was clinging to me, had greatly improved. He, who couldn’t open his eyes and relied on my voice, had now regained his composure and let go of me. I’m not sure if “let go” is the right expression, but he was leaning against my shoulder, holding my hand as if it were a lifeline. After staring at him, I turned my gaze back to where the shadows were. I felt uncertain about what to do next.
At this rate, it was clear that we would soon clear stage 2 any moment now. Then, should I move on to stage 3 with him? Was it right to keep dragging this guy around? I couldn’t handle him anymore…. And there was no telling when he might suddenly change like that again. There would probably be many occasions where he’d have to use his powers in the future, and if this happened every time, I’d definitely die by his hands.
“Ha…”
Frustrated, I sighed, and he flinched at the sound of my voice. I pretended nothing was wrong and continued to stroke his head, letting him lean on me.
Could I leave him and reach the ending alone? To be exact, the question was whether I could defeat the various main zombies without the skills he possessed. Just for this stage alone, without his abilities, I would never have been able to kill that humongous thing. Considering that even more dangerous creatures would appear in the future, I couldn’t abandon him at all.
Given the situation, I had to take the risk and stay with him. Balancing between dying by his hand and dying by the zombies’ hands — it was like I was walking a tightrope — But it was important for me to go back home.
“….”
On the other hand, the thought that he had gained these abilities because of me… I couldn’t turn away because I felt guilty when I thought I had made him like this. I stared at him, who was gently leaning on me like a puppy feeling my touch, and then averted my gaze. Looking at him made my heart heavy and frustrated. I wanted to somehow refresh my mind and shift my attention elsewhere, and suddenly she came to mind.
Come to think of it, what happened to her? Was she alive? I had planned to deal with the main zombie as quickly as possible and go to her, but that plan went up in smoke. I had hoped that if I went quickly, she might still be alive, but now it was too late. So much time had passed; there was no way she could be alive. If I went, there was a high probability that I would face her dead body.
Where did I go wrong? Where the hell did it all start…
「Congratulations. You have cleared Stage 2: Supermarket.」
Looking at the screen that had appeared in front of my eyes, I turned to where the shadows had been moments ago. Instead of the shadows that had consumed the main zombie, something red was lying on the floor.
“It’s gone… It’s completely dead. Good job, Do-yoon.”
I spoke in a weak voice as I looked down at him, who was leaning on my shoulder. Then his closed eyes slowly opened. After briefly meeting my gaze, his eyes lowered and didn’t seem to want to leave my neck.
“I’m so sorry.”
“…It’s okay.”
“Because of me…”
“Let’s not talk about that now. It’s not like you were in your right mind anyway.”
Due to that incident, things between us were no longer the same as before. It wasn’t that things were exceptionally good or special before, but now it felt like an invisible wall had been erected, unlike then. He had changed from being just a burdensome presence to a scary and burdensome one.
“Rest a bit more. You must still have severe aftereffects.”
“It’s alright. I can move now…”
“Sit down. You haven’t fully recovered yet, so stay still until you’re completely healed.”
I forced him to sit back down as he tried to get up and told him to stay still. Then, he, who had been watching my reaction, cautiously leaned on my shoulder again and closed his eyes.
I still hadn’t sorted out my thoughts yet. I had come to a conclusion about what to do in the future, but it wasn’t easy to accept, contrary to what my rationality told me. I sighed quietly to myself and closed my eyes as well. I didn’t want to move until I had finished organizing my thoughts.
***
As the main zombie disappeared, the flesh-chunks zombies that had been scattered throughout the area also vanished. No longer needing to watch my step, I fixed my gaze ahead and silently moved forward. Normally, he would be clinging to me like gum, chattering away, but now he kept a slight distance and followed quietly. Perhaps it weighed on his mind, too? I pretended not to notice and was raising my hand to my neck that was aching, but then decided against it. I didn’t want to pay attention to this anymore. I wanted to try to forget it somehow.
To do that, it might be better to cover the bruises on my neck… Suddenly, a choker came to mind. I thought about wearing something like that until the bruises faded, but then my mood suddenly soured.
My neck… Why did he always target my neck like that? He tries biting it out of nowhere, wants to hang a choker around it, and even chokes it. It was seriously strange. What grudge did he have against my neck…
“Aaargh!”
“Cough! KHAK!…!”
As I was lost in thought, the sound of people’s voices nearby snapped me back to reality.
This sound. Wasn’t it coming from the front? I quickened my pace toward the food corner just in case.
“Isn’t this kid a monster?!”
“How can this be? You got beat up by a woman, of all things!”
“You fools, snap out of it and do it right! Aren’t you ashamed of yourselves? To be knocked out by a single woman and lying there!”
There was an unbelievable scene unfolding there. People were sprawled on the ground, and others were gathered on one side, as if standing against something. The moment I saw her standing confidently among them, my jaw dropped in astonishment.
“Come at me, you trash!”
She was alive? Still? It can’t be…
The woman I thought would definitely be dead by now was standing there alive.
