Mental Caretaker In An Apolcalypse Game

Episode 16

“Haa… Haa….”

I gasped for breath as if I had just come out of the water, looking around. This place was the infirmary.

The infirmary?

“Kuaaak!”

At that moment, a horrifying scream that seemed to tear at my ears came from right behind me. I turned around in a hurry to see a monster engulfed in flames. It wasn’t long before I realized what it was. It was the mutant zombie I had killed.

The creature was writhing in agony, letting out a grotesque scream. Its flesh melted in the fire and flowed down as it struggled in vain against the pain, flailing its arms in the air. This was clearly a reenactment of the scene where I had killed the mutant zombie in the infirmary. As that thought crossed my mind, I took a small, deep breath and tried to think positively.

“Huu… It’s okay. I can get through this.”

Positive thoughts… What were some? The family trip we went on when I was young? The good grades on my first test after entering high school? Ah, there was also getting accepted into the university I wanted. As I closed my eyes and slowly recalled the happy memories, I felt something hot touch my leg.

“Huh?”

Startled, I opened my eyes to see a fierce flame leaping right in front of me.

“Ugh!”

I jumped back in surprise, but something grabbed my ankle, causing me to fall. The pain was momentary, and as I sat up, I finally saw it.

“…!”

It was the mutant zombie. The creature was lying face down on the floor clutching my ankle. The monster, which had its face buried in the ground, sensed my gaze and lifted its head. Its sinister eyes gleamed. The sight made my blood run cold. If I stayed like this, I felt like I would die from the malice mixed with its aura. I kicked its face with all my might to shake it off, spitting out curses.

“Let go! I said, let go!”

I tried to swear loudly to dispel my fear, but it didn’t help much. Then, the creature that had been taking my kicks suddenly opened its mouth and bit into my leg.

“Aaaahhh!!”

I screamed in the excruciating pain, rolling on the floor.

That son of a bitch!

For a moment, my eyes rolled back in anger, and I glared at the creature with a look of pure hatred. It just smiled mockingly, and I felt like I was losing my mind.

No, I need to snap out of it!

“Haa… Shit!”

This was all an illusion. It’s fake. Don’t pay attention to this nonsense… Just as I tried to regain my composure and think positively, my whole body became hot.

Damn it, no!

The flames that had enveloped the creature were now reaching out to me, spreading.

“Ugh! Damn it…!”

It was hot. Insanely hot. It felt like my skin was melting away in lava and my organs were burning. Only screams of agony bubbled up from my throat. I felt like I was really going to die. It was so painful that I wondered what would happen if I died like this. Surely, it was all fake. Just an illusion… But the sensation was so realistic that I was genuinely terrified. At that moment, as if it had been waiting, something appeared in the air. It was a hand, nothing but bones, reaching out to grab my neck. Then, with its mouth wide open, it sank its teeth into my shoulder.

“Kuh… Ugh…”

The grip on my neck choked off my breath, and I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder. That damn… The appearance of a mid-boss after the mutant zombie made me feel like I was losing my mind. My body was burning up and I couldn’t breathe. I felt like I was really dying, and at the same time, my strength left me, and my vision blurred.

Damn it… I looked down on this variant too much. Bad memories, trauma—they were not something you could easily overcome. Especially when I’d clearly seen the protagonist betrayed and killed by survivors in the game, and knew full well that trauma was no small matter. Yet, I dismissed it, thinking that if I just made the right choices, I could easily get through it. I was too naive, too distracted by the hidden piece like a complacent idiot.

But it was too late to regret it. There was nothing more I could do. Nothing I could do…

Nothing? Really nothing? No, think about it. There was still something left. Quickly, positive thoughts…

I tried to recall happy memories by somehow grasping onto my fading consciousness. Gradually, one by one, although faint, the memories and feelings of happiness that surfaced in my mind began to make the pain and pressure I felt in my body slowly disappear.

 

***

 

“Haa…”

Sitting on the floor and gasping, I hastily examined my body. Instead of the tattered body from my memories, I saw my intact self. I made it out. I’d finally escaped from that hellish memory. My joy at the realization was short-lived as my gaze fell on the final boss standing in the distance, and a deep-seated murderous intent surged within me.

‘Fuck it, how dare you throw me into that hell?’

I wanted to rush at it right then and there and kill him. But I couldn’t. How could a weakling like me kill it without a weapon? Moreover, it would have already sensed the murderous intent I was emanating. It was only letting me breathe because I hadn’t attacked yet. If it saw even the slightest sign of me trying to rush at him, it would surely kill me in an instant.

‘Just you wait and see. If Do-yoon gets out of there, something like you will die immediately.’

I clenched my teeth and glared at it with that thought in mind. But as I stared, I remembered Do-yoon and turned my gaze away from the creature to look around. It wasn’t long before I discovered a suspicious object.

“..Is this it?”

A short distance from me, there was a sphere made of black smoke floating gently. There was nothing else around, so it seemed likely that Do-yoon was inside it.

“What should I do… Can he get out?”

I was worried if he could overcome the trauma that was even worse than mine since he’d faced several deaths. To be honest, it seemed difficult…

I grew anxious, fearing that he might be consumed by the memories, and approached the sphere.

‘Maybe my voice can reach him? Should I call out?’

As I thought about it, I cautiously reached out my hand. But the moment my hand touched the smoke sphere, my wrist went in, and I quickly pulled it back in surprise.

“What the hell is this…?”

I thought I was being sucked in for a moment. I calmed my racing heart and stared at the sphere. Could it be that I could go inside? If so, could I meet Do-yoon? If that was the case, it would be a good opportunity to help him. But if it wasn’t that, and I was trapped in my memories again, I couldn’t guarantee that I’d be able to escape this time.

“…”

The deliberation didn’t last long. I briefly turned my head to look at the final boss once more. Then, clenching my fist, I raised my hand and extended only my middle finger, flipping it off.

“I’m saying goodbye in advance, you bastard. You’re dead.”

Then, without any hesitation, I turned my head and plunged my body into the sphere. Ugh. Once again, my senses disappeared as if the floor was collapsing beneath me. I tightly closed my eyes, waiting for these sensations to pass. Before long, I regained feeling in my body and the sensation of stepping on the ground returned.

Huh… I took a deep breath and exhaled, pushing my fear aside and slowly opened my eyes. The sight that greeted me made my body stiffen. Huh? I was dead.

And it wasn’t just one. I couldn’t close my mouth at the sight of my corpses strewn about here and there.

What the hell is this… I slowly looked around the surroundings with trembling eyes, and when my gaze finally reached his back, the stiffness of my body relaxed, only to stiffen again. With a severely distorted expression, I forced my unsteady legs to move and approached him.

“Noona… No, please. Please get up, Noona…”

As I got closer, his voice became clearer, and I could see what he was embracing.

“I was wrong. I was wrong, so please get up. Noona… Jia noona.”

It was me. ‘I’ was in his arms, my eyes open, as if I hadn’t even had the opportunity to close them, and my throat was a mess, as if it’d been bitten apart by something.

“Please get up… Get up, Han Jia! I won’t ignore what you say anymore. I’ll listen to you carefully. So… Please, just get up…”

I couldn’t get any closer. I didn’t understand what was going on. I clearly remembered him being betrayed by his companions and killed by monsters in the game, but these… they weren’t memories I knew. Had the future changed again because of me? Watching him hug my dead self and crying pitifully made me feel nauseous and sickened. Did I die this many times? Did him and I meet this many times? My mind became complicated with various thoughts, and I felt even worse. Feeling like I might go crazy if I stayed here any longer, I decided to leave this place. My mouth didn’t move well, but I somehow managed to move it and called out to him cautiously.

“Do-yoon…”

Then, like a lie, his voice stopped. I hesitated for a moment and then soon moved closer to him, placing my hand on his shoulder.

Ugh…

As I got closer, the sight of my dead self became even clearer, and my stomach churned.

“Lee Do-yoon.”

Calling his name, I lightly pulled his shoulder. Then, the me who had been in his arms fell to the ground, and he turned his head. When our eyes met, a chill ran down my spine – a horrifying feeling washing over me. This bastard… He hadn’t gone crazy, had he? No matter how much I tried to sugarcoat it, those were definitely not the eyes of a sane person. Should I say that he looked a little deranged…?

“Noona…”

He was still sane, right? He had to be. I wasn’t sure if a conversation would work with him, but I decided to speak to him anyway.

“You’re okay, aren’t you…”

But I couldn’t continue my words.

“Ugh! Hey, you…!”

In an instant, he lunged at me, pinning me to the ground and climbing on top of me.

Oh my god, this crazy punk!

“You, you! Won’t you get off me right now? Are you crazy?!”

“Noona…. Noona….”

But he was not in his right mind. The tears streaming down his cheeks fell onto my own. I tried to push him aside, but he wouldn’t budge.

Hey, you son of a…. Why was he so hard to move? As I grew more and more frustrated because he wouldn’t move, in that instant, he buried his face into my chest. This bastard, really! Just as I was about to grab his hair and try to rip him off, I stopped. Because of the words he said.

“You’re alive. You’re really alive.”

He seemed to be listening to the sound of my heartbeats by leaning his ear against my chest.

“Sis…. Your heart is beating. Can you hear it?”

Soon, he raised his head and looked down at me, gently caressing my face with his trembling hands.

“It’s warm. So warm. Huh? It’s not cold anymore.”

For some reason, his appearance made my heart ache and swell with emotion.

“Noona, why are you crying? Don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying. It’s your tears that fell.”

“Huh? Don’t cry. I’ll listen to you well. I’ll do better. So don’t cry.”

I slowly reached out and wiped away the tears that soaked his cheeks. Then, I wrapped my hands around his head and pulled him into an embrace.

“Let’s go back, Do-yoon. Now that I’m here, let’s get out of here.”

---

 

sobbing