Married to a Man who Wants to Kill me

 

 

Lethenia stared at herself in the mirror for a long time that day. A ghostly figure devoid of life. The dreamy, innocent girl had vanished without a trace, leaving behind a monster held together by perverse obsessions and love.

 

Unconsciously, a sneer of disdain crossed her face. As she observed the woman in the mirror smiling, she thought,

 

“Even the act of smiling is dreadful.”

 

Lethenia felt that even if she disappeared forever like this, she would have no more regrets. Bledel would end soon enough. They would never be able to kill Ian.

 

With that conviction, a sense of relief washed over her, accompanied by a strange sadness. Once Ian established a powerful rule after achieving the coveted imperial power, her existence as a Bledel would become an obstacle.

 

Rather than be thrown out of the palace, surrounded by the mockery and condemnation of the people, she might as well finish the job herself.

 

Lethenia retrieved a glass bottle hidden in a drawer. Inside, a mushroom with a reddish glow could be seen. She held it in her hands for a moment.

 

A long time ago, she had spent a night alone in a deep forest where no one was present. It was a punishment imposed by her father. She had merely expressed her reluctance to participate in the foundation ceremony held on her mother’s death anniversary. Defying her father’s command meant facing considerable consequences. She was well aware of it.

 

As the night deepened, the howls of wolves echoed from all around. Lethenia crouched behind a secluded wooden pillar, covering her ears.

 

However, the terror of being devoured alive by wolves didn’t dissipate. After a long time, when the surroundings fell silent, she opened her eyes cautiously. At that moment, she happened upon a thumb-sized mushroom emitting a red glow. She had seen it once in an old herbalism book.

 

It was a poisonous mushroom that was now extinct and had such strong toxicity that one would die immediately after eating it. However, it left no trace in the body and was mainly used for criminal purposes.

 

Lethenia had kept it with her all this time, thinking that she might need it someday. She took out the poisonous mushroom from the glass bottle. It was said to have a potent anesthetic effect, making the moment of death less agonizing.

 

Lethenia didn’t hesitate for long and swallowed it. And then she dreamed. A voice called out to her from somewhere. She felt an eerie presence, but she couldn’t escape it.

 

— Quickly, take this. Then, you can get the future you desire.

 

Something unseen, hidden in the darkness, whispered to her in a sinister voice.

 

As if drawn by an unavoidable fate, she nodded her head and then lost her mind. She felt like she had consumed a powerful hallucinogen.

 

When she opened her eyes after a terrible period of agony, she found herself in a strange place and as a different person. Looking at her lovely pink hair and jewel-like orange eyes reflected in the mirror, she thought, “Weren’t orange eyes a symbol of Bedos?”

 

She had heard about a lost child in Bedos a long time ago. She also knew that for some time, the Count and Countess had been searching for her in a half-crazed frenzy, for she was their only daughter.

 

Lethenia recalled Rosetin’s life as shown to her by the unknown presence, so she had a vague idea of what to do. With a hesitant heart, she went to the Count’s residence, and everything unfolded smoothly.

 

She resolved to see all of this as a new opportunity given to her. Sometimes, it was hard to believe the situation unfolding before her eyes, as if she were still dreaming. However, if she could get Ian, she could endure anything. She entered the palace again as Rosetin.

 

There, she saw the former Empress, Lethenia Bledel, who had been herself in the past. At first, she thought Rosetin’s soul had entered her body, just as she had become Rosetin.

 

<Your Majesty the Empress, have you ever met me before?>

 

But unlike herself, who vividly remembered everything, the empress seemed clueless. She didn’t appear to have any particular wariness about her. 

 

It was as if she had been Lethenia Bledel from the beginning, just as she had been Rosetin Bedos from the start, living her life.

 

However, as time passed, Lethenia couldn’t shake the feeling that everything was wrong. The future she had dreamed of seemed to slip further away the more she tried to grasp it.

 

Ian didn’t even glance at her, and Theo, his only friend, became the empress’ paramore. In addition, her health was deteriorating for no apparent reason.

 

Nothing was going her way. The more she struggled, the more she felt like she was sinking into a deeper swamp.

 

<I can’t go a day without thinking of you; I don’t understand why I’ve changed so much.>

 

She accidentally overheard Ian’s confession. Ironically, it wasn’t directed towards Rosetin but towards her past self, Lethenia.

 

The moment she heard those words, all her hope disappeared. Even in the guise of someone else, she was still the hated Lethenia.

 

He was right. No matter how many times she is reborn, the outcome will never change. She would never get Ian back.

 

<I can’t believe he did that to save the child of the enemy who poisoned his parents. I’m so shocked. Did His Majesty completely stop visiting Kaelin Palace?>

 

One day, Madam Bedos entered Kaelin Palace and, in a playful voice, expressed her displeasure towards the Emperor.

 

Lethenia paused when she heard the word poison, and turned to her.

 

<Poisoned……?>

 

<The Duke was responsible for what happened to the former Emperor and his wife. The emperor has been working tirelessly for years to expose it, yet to think that he would marry that woman. We can’t really know a person. If we had known he was such a foolish person, we wouldn’t have allowed you to sit here.>

 

Lethenia finally realized that Ian’s drastic change was inevitable. She had no right to beg for his love.

 

Strangely, she felt a sense of relief. And she thought she no longer needed to force herself to continue this life. She was truly tired now.

 

━━━━⊱⋆⊰━━━━

 

“Miss Bedos requests an audience.”

 

Rosetin had come to the imperial palace. It had been a while since Ian found her presence irritating. The mere thought of that woman made him feel uncomfortable.

 

As he was about to instruct the attendant to send her away, the attendant awkwardly added a comment.

 

“If you receive her today, she says she won’t enter the imperial palace again.”

 

What kind of trick is this again? Ian felt unpleasantly tired, as if Rosetin were making an effort to attract his attention by any means necessary.

 

Reluctantly, he nodded to the attendant. Soon, she entered. Holding a tray, just like before. But what she brought today wasn’t a tea set; it was a cookie called Delang.

 

His gaze fell from the tray to her face. Rosetin had a faint smile that seemed to be there and not there.

 

On this particular day, Ian sensed an inexplicable strangeness in Rosetin’s slightly brighter expression. She sat, placed the tray on the table, and spoke.

 

“I don’t have much skill, but I tried making it. Let’s eat together.” Rosetin spoke as casually as if she were talking to a longtime friend.

 

When he didn’t react, Rosetin, with a slightly deeper smile, continued. “After today, I won’t bother Your Majesty again. So, can you grant me this small favor?”

 

He sighed and sat across from her. Rosetin pushed the plate with the cookies toward him and said, “I used to love these cookies when I was young. Now I can’t even remember what they taste like. It feels like I’ve lived forgetting something very important, even though it’s just a cookie.”

 

She picked one up and put it in her mouth. The sound of her crunching on the cookie echoed.

 

For a moment, he lost himself in the unfamiliar sight of Rosetin. Then he stared at the cookie with lots of chocolate. Delang was a cookie that young Lethenia loved.

 

People believed Lethenia disliked sweet things, but, in fact, it was the opposite. However, as she started her education to become a suitable lady for the Crown Prince, she suddenly lost interest in sweet things. It was because she no longer wanted to appear like a child.

 

Ian had found even that version of Lethenia adorable.

 

Lethenia thought Ian liked Delang just as much as she did. In truth, sweets were not to his taste, but he ate them with her because she liked them.

 

Young Ian would often visit the Duke’s residence and go on picnics with Lethenia to the nearby forest. Every time, Lethenia would bring a basket full of Delang. They used to sit under the tallest oak tree in the forest, sharing Delang cookies.

 

The memory of them giggling at each other’s faces covered in cookie crumbs vividly resurfaced, as clear as if it happened yesterday.

 

Suddenly, Ian felt a sharp pain in his chest. As if she knew it, Rosetin spoke in a low voice.

 

“Perhaps Your Majesty also had something precious like this cookie, something you had no choice but to forget.”

 

“…….”

 

“If that’s the case, even if you realize what it is much later, after a very long time, please don’t blame yourself, Your Majesty.”

 

Rosetin rose from her seat, wearing a calm expression unlike any other time. She met his eyes squarely and gave a gentle smile.

 

“Well then, I’ll take my leave.”

 

Rosetin exited the room, leaving no trace of regret in her departure.

 

Even after a few hours, Ian couldn’t get Rosetin’s final image out of his mind. An unexplainable unease prevented him from focusing on anything else.

 

‘Why did she say that?’

 

He felt an eerie sensation from Rosetin’s last words.

 

Suddenly, Ian recalled the days when Lethenia had come to him a few days before she collapsed.

 

He was strolling in the garden when he felt someone’s gaze observing him from a distance. It was Lethenia. He tried to ignore her and move on, as he usually did, but that day he found it hard to look away.

 

He didn’t know why, but when he made eye contact with her, he felt a strange emotion. It was because Lethenia looked so relaxed. Lethenia’s expression seemed unusually calm, and, unlike usual, she didn’t approach him. She just silently gazed at him.

 

There was no resentment or sadness in her eyes. Eventually, without showing any lingering emotions, Lethenia turned and walked away.

 

In that moment, he was engulfed by an inexplicable anxiety, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop her. And a few days later, he heard the news of Lethenia’s demise.

 

Ian was drawn to Kaelin Palace as if guided by an unseen force. Strangely, there were no guards or maids visible. The emptiness and loneliness heightened his unease.

 

He cautiously opened Rosetin’s bedroom door. What unfolded before his eyes left him in an indescribable shock. His desperate cry shattered the silence.

 

“Rosetin!”

 

Inside the room, she lay pale as if lifeless, mirroring the scene of Lethenia from that day.

 

 

 

𝑺𝒖𝒑𝒑𝒐𝒓𝒕 𝒎𝒆 𝒐𝒏 𝑲𝒐-𝒇𝒊