―Part 1―
Prologue: Conflicting Confessions
Clatter.
Su-jin gently set down her chopsticks.
“……”
“……”
Although two people were sitting across from each other at the dining table, it was a meal filled only with silence.
As always.
The stifling air was so familiar that it had become tiresome. Perhaps it was resignation, now that she no longer foolishly hoped for anything to change.
A dining table devoid of conversation, a phone that didn’t ring, cold gazes, chilly voices, turned backs.
As Su-jin reminisced about the past three years of marriage, a self-deprecating smile formed on her lips.
There were days when her heart was so wounded it felt like it might break, days when tears flowed freely. On days gone by, she had hoped for even the slightest change.
Even if they didn’t love each other, if only they had treated each other with a little more affection. If they could have smiled at each other for just a brief moment each day. If they had become a couple who shared only the important events, even if they didn’t know everything about each other.
There were days when she had thrown herself into hoping for just that.
But now,…
Su-jin slowly raised her head to look at the man in front of her. The man she had lived with for the past three years under the flimsy guise of a husband. Their relationship had never truly intertwined, despite the title of husband.
It had been like that from the beginning. They were like an old cart that always squeaked and never fit together.
Perhaps it was because there were four people present in their marriage. They all occupied their own spaces and pushed and pulled at each other.
“……”
Thinking of the two people who hadn’t been invited to this marriage, Su-jin closed her eyes tightly. Just like in the past, she turned away from the different colored rings held in their hands.
Throughout their marriage, short or long as it may have been, an indescribable colorlessness had illuminated their hands. A light that contained the meaning of eternity, one that could never be extinguished.
It was like a facet of their false marriage, involving four people.
“……”
Long lashes, drawing thick shadows on Su-jin’s pale cheeks, trembled.
So, were we doomed from the start?
It was actually quite natural. I should have been okay with it. Why, then, did I…?
…Fall in love with you.
Even as she chewed on her lip and habitually blamed herself, her dry eyes no longer shed tears. Her wandering gaze, lost and traversing empty space, eventually settled on the man sitting across from her, almost as if pulled by inertia.
“……Mr. Ryu Kyung-kwon.”
Breaking the heavy silence, Su-jin murmured her husband’s name softly.
Ryu Kyung-kwon. A name she had never stopped loving.
Throughout their marriage, even though she had only ever seen his back, Su-jin often overlapped it with the back of the male student who had sworn in front of everyone on the day of their high school entrance ceremony.
The bright and refreshing days. The sparkle of that day. That bright kid.
“Su-jin.”
Even now, when she closed her eyes, was it because that kid from that time reached out to her? Despite the long passage of time, Su-jin simply couldn’t find a way not to love him.
Perhaps it was because of foolish sentimentality. But now, really…
“……”
With a powerless gesture, she glanced down at the wedding ring nestled in her left hand. The ring, given to her by her deceased fiancé, shimmered beautifully.
The indifferent voice of her husband, who had casually told her to wear the ring given by her deceased fiancé, overlapped with it.
“Haven’t you received a ring as well? It suits you well, just keep it on.”
His cold voice, drawing a clear line between them without hesitation, still echoed in her ears. The thought that she never intended to attach any significance to the mere formality of marriage continued to painfully ache in Su-jin’s heart.
“……”
Su-jin sat blankly, blinking her eyelids slowly.
As she stared silently at the ring on her husband’s fourth finger, which had not responded to her call to his attention, Su-jin felt her shoulders slump involuntarily, as if the intense light from the ring were weighing them down.
The ring, symbolizing her husband’s love for his long-time lover, shone brightly once again today. Its color suited his woman better than her husband. Su-jin knew that well.
Yoon Hye-young.
Yoon Hye-young and Ryu Kyung-kwon.
During high school, the two were a famous couple on campus.
Even though romantic relationships were strictly prohibited at the prestigious private school, their relationship was so public that even Su-jin, who went to the hospital more often than to school, knew about it.
From those days until now, their long-lasting relationship had not been severed by such a mere formality as marriage.
Unlike with Hye-young, Kyung-kwon and she were just occasional conversation partners in the same class, nothing more. He had merely looked after her as the class president who often skipped school activities.
She watched him affectionately from afar, giving meaning even to their brief conversations, and harbored a one-sided crush.
Was it because of that?
She had foolishly hoped for something from the sudden intrusion into their relationship in this way. Perhaps she wanted to experience even once the intense light that was never meant for her.
But not anymore. Now it was truly time to stop.
Her solitary love. Their superficial marriage.
The foolish longing that clumsily pieced together broken fragments of affection.
All of it.
There wasn’t even a heart left to break. Long love had already turned to ashes, leaving no room even for a pinch of pain.
“……”
Su-jin’s vacant gaze filled her empty eyes for a moment with the image of the man who had once been her husband. Then, very softly but distinctly, she pronounced his name, letter by letter, with determination.
“Ryu, Kyung, Kwon?”
As if for the first time she was calling out his name.
“Mr. Ryu Kyung-kwon.”
This time, it seemed that Kyung-kwon responded to her call, lifting his head.
“……”
However, he narrowed his eyes with a hint of fear as their gazes met. He pursed his lips as if about to say something, then immediately tightened them again.
Perhaps she had hoped for something foolish from the topic that had suddenly intruded into their conversation in this way. She wanted to experience even once the intense light that was never meant for her.
But not anymore. Now it was truly time to stop.
Her solitary love. Their superficial marriage.
The foolish longing that clumsily pieced together broken fragments of affection.
All of it.
There wasn’t even a heart left to break. Long love had already turned to ashes, leaving no room even for a pinch of pain.
“……”
Su-jin’s vacant gaze filled her empty eyes for a moment with the image of the man who had once been her husband. Then, very softly but distinctly, she pronounced his name, letter by letter, with determination.
“Ryu, Kyung, Kwon?”
As if for the first time she was calling out his name.
“Mr. Ryu Kyung-kwon.”
This time, it seemed that Kyung-kwon responded to her call, lifting his head.
“……”
But with a fearful expression as their eyes met, the man narrowed his eyes and pressed his lips together as if to say something.
Was there something he wanted to say?
For a moment, Su-jin smiled with faint amusement at the possibility.
No, that couldn’t be it. There’s no way he has something to say to me. He probably just wants me to keep quiet.
Su-jin remembered distinctly the rebuke she had received from him once while idly chatting at a meal.
“Let’s eat quietly without talking.”
His voice was as cold as pouring cold water. His expression was filled with a disdain that seemed to say he couldn’t stand even listening to her voice for a moment. The remark that he had never had any intention of attaching significance to the mere formality of marriage continued to ache in Su-jin’s chest.
“……”
Su-jin sat still, blinking her eyes slowly. With reflexive shoulders hunched, she simply blinked her eyes. The man’s cold remark that was sure to follow after he opened his mouth already seemed to echo in her ears.
“You were told to eat quietly, weren’t you? How many times do I have to say it?”
His cold voice. Su-jin bit her dry lips, enveloped in fear and exhaustion. As she let out a faint sigh, a few strands of hair fell softly onto her white forehead.
“I’m sorry. That’s not what I…”
“If you have something to say, say it. I have something to say too.”
He has something to say. What could it be?
This was a phrase Su-jin had never heard during their marriage. Perhaps he was just as tired as she was now. It wouldn’t be so bad to hear him out first before making a decision.
“You go first then.”
Su-jin lowered her resigned gaze, her eyelids drooping heavily.
Watching Su-jin, who seemed to be trying to offer an explanation rather than an excuse, the man found it increasingly difficult to restrain himself. He turned his head away as if unable to bear it any longer. He swept his hair back roughly.
“Go ahead.”
As if conceding, he leaned back and extended his hand.
“……”
“……”
Once again, silence descended upon the dining table where the two sat.
As always.
After waiting silently for each other for a while, they slowly parted their lips, avoiding each other’s gaze with several hesitations, and then slowly parted them.
“I… … .”
“I.”
As Su-jin was about to articulate the words she had long buried in her heart, the man opened his mouth at the same time, as if producing a sound out of sync.
“……Let’s divorce.”
“I think I’ve fallen for Ms. Im Su-jin.”
After struggling to utter words she had long kept buried, Su-jin breathed heavily, doubting her own ears.
“……What did you say?”
Her eyes, which would have sparkled with determination in the past, had already lost their moisture as if they could crackle at any moment. Su-jin stared blankly at the man in front of her.
“……”
The man, with a face contorted in agony, looked at her silently. He seemed to not hear her words at all.
No. Maybe he did hear. The reason he wore such an expression, one she had never seen before in his life.
But why…?
“What are you saying? I don’t understand at all.”
“……”
The man, his expression as bewildered as Su-jin’s, averted his gaze. His stubbornly closed lips loosened slightly.
“……Su-jin.”
“Su-jin.”
The soft voice she had heard after ten years echoed in her ears, making her dizzy. She couldn’t tell who the man sitting in front of her was, or if he was the person she knew.
“I don’t know either.”
The man, with a hopelessly contorted face, shook his head, tousling his hair. But Su-jin still sat silently, her expression devoid of reality, just staring at him.
Same space, same time, same partner.
The only thing that had changed was the way they looked at each other.
“……”
Su-jin felt suffocated, just like three years ago.
The day she met the man before her, just before their marriage.
Right here.
