Episode 17

“Matteo. Do you have a moment?”

It was just after the evening service at Ingdberry Cathedral. As Matteo was about to leave the chapel, someone called out to him.

“Kyle! For you, I’d make time even if I didn’t have any. What’s going on? Want to talk over coffee? …Oh, wait, we can’t go out.”

“I won’t keep you long. Let’s talk here.”

The two men sat side by side on one of the empty pews in the chapel.

“So, what’s on your mind?”

“Well… I’ve been thinking about this on my own, but I can’t figure it out. I need some advice.”

“Kyle Mason has a problem he can’t solve? What could I possibly help with?”

“For this issue, you probably know more than I do.”

“Thanks for trusting me. Alright, let’s hear it.”

Kyle cleared his throat. Sharing this with his friend felt a bit awkward, but he desperately needed guidance.

“It’s about one of our classmates. Recently, he happened to meet a noblewoman by chance. They’ve run into each other several times since then, and they’ve become acquainted. But then, one day, she just kissed him—out of nowhere.”

“Wow, bold move. That’s not easy to do.”

Though progressive women were becoming more common with changing times, society still wasn’t fully embracing it. Matteo’s surprised reaction was completely understandable.

“So, how did your classmate feel about the surprise kiss?”

“Well… he didn’t dislike it. But there’s the difference in their social statuses, and he’s about to graduate as a theology student, so that’s a big concern. More than that, he’s unsure about the woman’s true feelings. What if it was just a joke? What if she doesn’t actually like him?”

“No woman kisses someone just for fun. She must be interested. It probably took a lot of courage for her to do that.”

At first, Kyle thought the same as Matteo—because it made sense. But as time went on, that reasoning felt less and less convincing. They hadn’t known each other for long, and it didn’t seem like enough time for feelings to genuinely develop.

Rosanna was undeniably attractive, so it wasn’t hard to imagine Kyle falling for her. But the idea that she would fall for him? That was harder to believe. She was constantly surrounded by gentlemen far more impressive than him. Especially in Ingdberry’s high society, where eligible suitors were never in short supply.

Could someone’s feelings become so intense that they’d kiss another person in such a short time? Perhaps she was merely intrigued, but beyond that? It seemed unlikely.

Kyle didn’t know. He had never experienced something like this before, and he never expected anything like it would happen in his life. How could he even tell if someone liked him? He was completely in the dark, and the confusion was overwhelming.

Looking down at his feet, Kyle spoke quietly, feeling uncertain.

“Nobles… they sometimes keep lovers, right? Just for a night, or something like that.”

“Well, yeah, some lead pretty scandalous lives. The stories I’ve heard through my work alone could fill three nights of gossip.”

Matteo glanced at Kyle and gave him a reassuring pat on the back.

“Don’t let it get you down! If she just wanted to toy with someone, she wouldn’t pick a serious theology student. Too boring. And not all nobles are that promiscuous, anyway.”

Placing a hand on Kyle’s shoulder, Matteo continued.

“And more importantly, Kyle, you’re good-looking! Maybe she fell for you at first sight, and then, as she got to know you, she realized she liked talking with you. Maybe she felt happy being around you, and that’s why she kissed you—because she didn’t want to lose you.”

“I’m being serious… Matteo. This is about a classmate, remember?”

Matteo burst out laughing before inhaling sharply to stop himself.

“Sorry, Kyle, but you’re a terrible liar. It’s so obvious. Just be honest with me.”

Kyle’s gray eyes wavered. After a moment of silence, he bent forward, covering his face with his hands.

Matteo waited patiently for his friend to gather his thoughts and speak.

“Should I tell her that we shouldn’t meet anymore? I have my diaconate interview coming up, graduation too… and here I am, distracted, even though I’ve chosen the priesthood. I feel ashamed.”

“What sin have you committed? There are theology students from noble families who are far worse off than you, but that’s not the point. How do you feel? What do you think of this woman?”

“She’s… intriguing. Whenever I’m with her, I can’t stop smiling. I like her… as a person, I think. But then I wonder what happens if it becomes more than that? It’s confusing.”

Matteo listened quietly before speaking in a low voice.

“Kyle, you’re not used to looking inward. You’re always focused on others. You’re kind and thoughtful—Kyle Mason, who is always hard on himself. That’s not a bad thing, but doesn’t it feel suffocating? This time, instead of thinking with your head, try listening to what your heart says.”

“I can’t. If I do… I’ll disappoint Bishop Johann. I’ll disappoint Mother Superior too.”

“What? You can’t become a deacon because you like someone? Why are you so desperately trying to deny your feelings?”

Kyle lowered his head, burdened by guilt.

“If I keep seeing her, I’ll start having… improper thoughts.”

“Are you saying you’ll want to sleep with her?”

Kyle’s head shot up, his eyes blazing.

“How could you say that? I meant that I might fall for her.”

“I know, I know. You’re too much of a good boy for anything else. I was just teasing you because you’re acting like such a sinner.”

“This isn’t the time for jokes. I keep thinking about that kiss… I need to stop these impure thoughts.”

“You think it’s immoral for a theology student to have those feelings, don’t you?”

Kyle nodded silently.

“I don’t see why you’re so conflicted. Priests aren’t forbidden from liking someone. Sure, married priests might not rise past the rank of bishop, but that’s something to think about later. So, problem solved?”

“But—”

Matteo raised a hand to cut him off.

“I’m not saying you should confess your feelings or start a relationship right now. Just don’t be in such a hurry to end things. Why don’t you ask her to give you time? If she cares about you, she’ll wait. You can decide what kind of relationship you’ll have after you become a deacon.”

“Ask her to wait… isn’t that selfish?”

“You’re giving her a choice. It’s up to her whether she waits or not.”

Kyle still felt uneasy, but deep down, he knew Matteo’s advice made sense.

“I’ll do what you said. Thanks.”

“Hang in there. Let me know how it goes next time we talk.”

As Matteo got up to leave, he sat back down, remembering something.

“Oh, right. Remember when you asked me about a lawyer named Vlad?”

“You said he asked about my baptismal name, right?”

“Yeah. I found out something interesting recently. His name is Vlad Woodville, and he’s the brother of Viscountess Dacia, who’s been all the rage in high society this year. Woodville is his wife’s maiden name, apparently. There’s some family drama, but I don’t know the details.”

“Viscountess Dacia?”

“Her name is Rosanna Enache. She’s a bit of a mystery. You won’t find much about her in the gossip columns, probably because she’s keeping a low profile.”

Kyle froze. His breath caught in his throat, and his lungs seemed to twist from lack of air.

“I… know her.”

“You know her? How?”

The sounds around Kyle faded as the facts he knew were thrown into confusion.

Rosanna must have known about him long before the annual exhibit. She had seen his baptismal name embroidered on the handkerchief and asked around through her brother. She must have realized that Basilio and Kyle were the same person. Had she pretended not to know all along? Since when?

Did she already know during their second meeting at Ingdberry Cathedral? Had she known his name, known he was a theology student, yet still acted as if it was their first encounter?

“Are you… a priest?” she had asked, as if they were strangers.

Kyle’s heartbeat quickened. He tried to calm his increasingly ragged breathing, but suddenly, her voice echoed in his mind.

“Basilio, isn’t it?”

Oh. That day.

The séance. Afterward, he had tried to bury the memory. It was an uncomfortable event, and instinct told him it was something he shouldn’t dwell on, even though a classmate had asked for his help.

He had avoided thinking about the woman he met there. The memory of that day had been blurry… but now, it was coming back.

What had the other ladies called her? Viscountess… yes, Viscountess Dacia.

As the pieces of the puzzle clicked into place, Kyle realized that their “second” meeting had actually been their third. The real second encounter had been at the Somerset family’s séance. That was when Rosanna had recognized him.

The owner of the handkerchief, whose face she hadn’t known until then.

Kyle was still filled with questions. How had Rosanna been so certain that the veiled man was Basilio? And did she already know that Basilio was, in fact, Kyle at that time?

A sharp headache throbbed through his head.

“Kyle? Are you okay?”

“Maybe I’ve been too focused on early morning prayers. I’m just tired.”

“Then you should rest. Head back to the dormitory.”

“Sorry, I’m the one who asked to talk, but now I’m dragging it out.”

“No worries. It’s time for me to head out too. See you later!”

Matteo checked his pocket watch and stood up. Kyle saw him off and then remained in the chapel for quite a while, lost in thought.