Of course, ten years did not pass in one night, and instead, the poison that I thought I had spat out caused trouble.
I ended up having a fever all night and was bedridden, unable to move.
‘It’s not the type that seeps into the skin. If it were, I would have reacted sooner.’
That means that a small amount of the poison I swallowed while spitting it out caused trouble. How fragile am I?
In the midst of my bewilderment, I keenly realized the state of this body.
How fragile this body is. How vulnerable Blanche is.
Until now, I had been pretending that nothing had changed, that things were just a little more difficult. After all, my situation in my previous life was not that good either.
Enemies from enemy countries, people from the country I subjugated, fellow subordinates of the same emperor, concubines, and even sometimes members of my own family. Perhaps there were more enemies who were after me than Blanche. So I thought that this life would be no different.
But I was wrong. If I were Baek-ryeon, I would not have been bedridden from a single drop of poison, and I would not have been subjected to such a clumsy assassination attempt before then.
So, even though my mind is the same as my old body, my body is different, which means I can’t be the same Baek-ryeon as before.
It’s really ridiculous, but I… I just realized that now.
“Are you alright, princess? Why are you like this…?”
Tula approached me as I was chewing on Blanche’s helplessness, feeling like my insides were being turned upside down. She puts her hand on my forehead and looks at me with a worried face.
Tula’s face is full of pure concern. It’s not that she’s worried about the inconvenience caused by my being sick or the possibility that her protective barrier will malfunction. It’s just a face that’s worried about me.
As if I’m not a being to be worried about because of my abilities, but a being to be worried about purely.
Ah. It’s like Yoohyun.
With my head dizzy from the fever, I overlapped another face on Tula’s face.
My daughter.
The child I left behind, the child I protected until the very end.
“There must be something you should eat. What would you like to have? Fruit? Soup?”
Why do people who worry about sick people always say the same thing? Yoohyun said exactly the same thing. I laughed even though I was sick because it was so ridiculous.
Really, Yoohyun was like that too. At the very end. After I decided on the means to end it, I neglected my meals.
Eating was not important to me at that time. And Yoohyun probably knew that even if I lived longer, it would not be of any help to her. It means that she didn’t have to go to the trouble of feeding me.
Despite that, the child worried about me. She made me a thin porridge and brought it to me, pleading with me to eat at least a bite.
As if my mere existence had value. As if my life was more precious than her own safety.
I never understood why the child did that. Wasn’t it because of my abilities that I was useful? If she had to die for me to live, why did she worry about me?
I never understood, but the child was really sincere. She was so worried about me that she hesitated a little, even though she knew that the only means left to me was suicide.
And now, Tula is looking at me with the same eyes as that child.
“Is the towel too cold? Please eat a little. Come on, say ah.”
The wet towel on my forehead, the chicken soup. Worried eyes. I asked Tula, who was feeding me with a spoon.
“Tua. (Tula.)”
“Yes, Princess.”
“Do you hate dat Im shick?(Do I hate that I’m sick?)”
Tula’s eyes widened slightly, and the corners of her eyes drooped.
“You’re asking the obvious.”
A voice that seemed to be aching. Those eyes that seemed to be unbearable to even hear such a question.
“I wish you weren’t sick. So please get well soon.”
「I wish you weren’t sick. So please gather some strength, Mother.」
Those eyes and voice reminded me of Yoohyun.
“Ten, I ill protekt you.(Then, I will protect you.)”
I had originally planned to take care of all the children serving me, even if they were leaking information. Not because I lacked personnel now, but because even if my situation improved and I had more people to serve me, I intended to look after them.
After all, I knew to whom they were leaking information and could control the flow of information.
But after being bedridden, I was suddenly filled with fear. I remembered the time when I had to give up everything to barely save my daughter.
I didn’t want to hold on to too many things again and have to give them up one by one.
So I decided that I needed to reorganize the children around me.
All the children except Tula.
* * *
“…Princess?”
There was no response. Her breathing was steady. In the now quiet room, Tula mulled over the words she had just heard.
‘Do you hate that I’m sick?’
‘Then, I will protect you.’
It was incomprehensible. Protect? Tula? From whom?
She had no idea who the princess intended to protect Tula from, and the fact that the one saying this was a mere three-year-old princess, while the one listening should be the nanny dedicating her life to protect the princess, made it all the more puzzling.
There didn’t seem to be anyone here intending to harm either the princess or herself.
Tula truly could not understand. Other maids whispered that the Empress of the Empire adored the princess. The princess had even confided to Tula that she met the Grand Duke yesterday.
In Tula’s eyes, it seemed like only a path of flowers lay ahead for the princess. So why did her young mistress appear so grave, as if preparing for battle?
“Nanny, nanny, come out!”
Startled by the low, urgent call meant not to wake the princess, Tula’s shoulders jumped.
“A gift has arrived for the princess. Please come out and check it.”
The maid peeking through the slightly open door whispered excitedly. A gift. Right. Since the princess was sleeping, she should check it herself. Tula gently caressed the sleeping princess’s forehead and stood up.
Perhaps she was overthinking things. While the princess was precocious, she was still only three years old. Her precociousness might just seem complicated when combined with a child’s unique logic. It was probably nothing.
It might even have been feverish nonsense.
Tula tried to look at the situation optimistically as she left the room.
“A gift? From whom? Did the Empress send it?”
“No! It was sent by His Highness the Grand Duke. I don’t know how he knows the princess, but it’s amazing!”
The Grand Duke? She had heard the princess met him yesterday, and now a gift had arrived the very next day. It confirmed that Tula’s little mistress was indeed cherished by the world.
And why not? The princess had hair like moonlight, skin as white as snow, and eyes the color of the dark night.
She was as beautiful as a porcelain doll cherished by the nobility, and as sweet and gentle as a child who never fussed over meals. It made sense that anyone meeting the princess would be utterly enchanted.
“Well, let’s take a look.”
If it’s a gift that a 3-year-old would like, it must be something like a doll, right? Oh, or maybe flowers?
With such light-hearted thoughts, Tula opened the door and froze in place.
Flowers, flowers, flowers. Fresh flowers everywhere she could see.
“What is this…?”
The type of gift was anticipated. Flowers were an easy guess. The problem was the sheer quantity.
The entire drawing room was filled with flowers.
And not just the room; through the opposite door, she could see an endless continuation of flowers. There were so many that the door couldn’t even close properly. It was as if an entire garden had been uprooted and brought inside.
“Isn’t it amazing?”
While Callie’s eyes sparkled with excitement, Tula was overwhelmed rather than thrilled. What was all this?
“This is a gift from the Grand Duke?”
“Yes! His Highness’s men came and put it down. I guess the Grand Duke of the Empire is really generous when it comes to his gifts.”
Could this really be considered as generosity? Tula moved to check the flower procession extending beyond the door. Her head was dizzy from the flower scent, maybe because there were so many flowers that the door couldn’t be closed.
Given the princess’s already unwell state, wouldn’t just showing her this make her feel worse due to the overwhelming fragrance?
As she moved towards the door leading outside from the drawing room, an unfamiliar figure appeared before her.
“Ah, I apologize for visiting unannounced. I heard that Princess Blanche is feeling unwell, so…”
Golden hair like molten sunshine, clear emerald eyes, a slender figure, and an upright posture.
Though Tula had never seen this face before, she immediately recognized who it was.
It was Her Majesty, the Empress of the Empire.
* * * *
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