“An invitation has arrived for the princess. What should I do?”
I thought seriously. At this point, wouldn’t it seem incompetent not to dominate the Emerald Palace?
The Empress’s favor was astonishing. I had merely sat beside her during the tea party, creating a harmonious atmosphere, yet those who attended the party were now sending invitations in droves.
Right. Most of those who came here were like sacrificial lambs, pushed out of power in their own countries. To them, I must seem like a lifeline from the heavens. It was understandable.
“I ill chick it out. Pring me a cop of tee. (I’ll check it out. Bring me a cup of tea.)”
“Yes.”
Tula, who had grown accustomed to my pronunciation and word choices, which didn’t match my age, understood my intent and went to brew some tea.
Although I was a princess of a small country and had a few attendants, Tula, my nanny, didn’t need to brew the tea herself. She understood that I wanted to be left alone.
“She is sush a kood shild.(She’s such a good child.)”
But in this ruthless battlefield, she’s too delicate to survive. I have no choice but to gather my strength.
I steeled myself and tore open the envelope to take out the invitation. At three years old, my body wasn’t dexterous enough to use a letter opener.
The content of the invitations was, of course, all similar. They were adorned with appropriately favorable language but were equally arrogant.
Were they careless because the recipient was three years old, or did they write in a high-handed manner, assuming my subordinate would read it? Their attitude towards a lifeline was disrespectful.
More than half of the invitations had deadlines that were too tight.
Did they think it was okay because the Empress had informed them on the same day? Such treatment is barely permissible for those who are no more than hostages, even for someone as prominent as the Empress.
I immediately filtered out all invitations with deadlines less than a week away. This eliminated a third of them.
“Bwun dem. (Burn them.)”
I firmly instructed Tula, who had just returned with the tea, pointing to the pile of invitations. Tula widened her eyes slightly, then obediently replied.
“Yes.”
She took the letters and left, leaving me alone with the remaining invitations. I pondered.
To what extent should I demonstrate my abilities without crossing the line?
Yesterday, I was merely flustered, but in hindsight, the Empress’s favor was sudden and excessive. It’s not a grace she would bestow on a child she met for the first time.
After the tea party yesterday, the Empress publicly had her knight escort me. For the Empress’s guard to escort a mere hostage—it was an excessive honor.
Yesterday, I was too busy trying not to appear presumptuous in the face of such unexpected favor, but upon reflection, the situation was clear.
The Emperor seems intent on not allowing me any excuses for lack of means.
If that wasn’t the case, this situation would be inexplicable. There’s no way the Empress would genuinely favor me after our first proper meeting yesterday.
“I owiginally plant to hide them. (I originally planned to hide dem.)”
I hadn’t intended to show all my abilities. After all, I am a three-year-old princess from a small country, and this isn’t even my homeland, so I had plenty of excuses.
Originally, coaxing and persuading those three to negotiate would have been sufficient. For a three-year-old, achieving even that would be considered highly capable.
However, since the Empress has taken notice of me, I can now confidently summon the three who reside in the Emerald Palace without needing any schemes. This means I need to do a bit more to create the impression of being capable.
“I oferdid it…(I overdid it…)”
I hadn’t intended to stand out this much. How did I end up attracting the Emperor’s attention so strongly?
Suppressing the fundamental question that arose, I continued to sift through the remaining invitations. I needed to recalculate. The level of talent I could safely reveal, the accomplishments I could present to the Emperor.
* * *
Maybe because my mind was unsettled, I had a dream that night.
It was a dream of a time I missed.
“Please, Your Majesty, withdraw your decree.”
I was prostrated on the floor, begging. Perhaps because it was a dream, I could sense that His Majesty was in front of me.
“Are you not satisfied with my gift?”
A voice laced with amusement fell over my head. This man is truly clueless. If he weren’t the emperor, I would have raised my head and retorted right away.
I gritted my teeth and bowed.
“I would never dare to refuse the grace of heaven. However, it is simply too much honor for a humble servant like me to bear.”
“You don’t need it, or you’re tired of other people making a fuss, so you don’t want to accept it.”
While it’s good to be in tune with your ruler, this was one of those times when it was problematic.
It was exactly what I was thinking, but did he really need to say it so bluntly? I had carefully chosen my words to be polite and respectful.
“Your Majesty.”
“I get scared every time you lower your voice.”
My heart sank for a moment.
This wasn’t the first time His Majesty had said such things. We first met in our childhood, before he was the Emperor and before I was his subordinate, and perhaps that’s why he often used informal language when we were alone.
But even though it wasn’t the first time, I always got scared when he spoke like this. I didn’t even know what I was scared of. I had never been afraid on the battlefield, but this was different.
So, I acted stubbornly.
“A person who is scared wouldn’t act like this.”
It was an action unbecoming of a subordinate. There were no eyes or ears to witness, but that made it all the more inappropriate.
Yet the Emperor seemed rather pleased.
“I’m scared, but I endure it.”
Knowing there was no point in remaining prostrate any longer, I swallowed a sigh and straightened up.
“Is there a reason for this? This gift is truly too extravagant.”
“I want to do it. Is that not enough of a reason?”
It was more than enough. Overwhelming, even.
But it was still burdensome.
“I understand that you want to boost the morale and motivation of your ministers by rewarding them for their merits, but this is really too much. What you have already bestowed upon me is more than enough─”
“Rewarding for merits?”
His Majesty snickered.
“Do you really think that’s the reason?”
I knew it wasn’t a genuine question, but I couldn’t do anything but answer honestly, so I just said it as it was.
“If not, there would be no reason for this. No matter how much I think about it, it’s still too much.”
The emperor’s favor has been overflowing as ever. I have received many of the emperor’s gifts, which are an honor to receive even once, and I have even been given permission to review the emperor’s letters and change them as I see fit without his permission.
If it weren’t for my merits, the court officials would have lined up before the main hall to plead against such favor.
But even considering my merits, this recent gift was excessive. It was an honor unfit for a mere subject.
“Sometimes,”
The emperor let out a long sigh. It was unclear who was supposed to be sighing, but that’s what he did.
“I can’t tell if you don’t know or if you’re pretending not to know.”
It was a really unfair thing to say. I don’t always pretend not to know, but at least I don’t really know why he’s doing this.
“I am dull, so…”
“Well, whatever. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know.”
My attempt at humility was cut off. The emperor raised his hands together and smiled broadly.
“Well, fine. Even if you don’t know, it doesn’t matter.”
The humble words I had prepared were cut off. The Emperor clasped his hands together and lifted them up with a bright smile.
“If you don’t know, I’ll just keep pouring them on.”
As the Emperor opened his clasped hands, something shiny fell out of them.
It was his reward.
A jade pendant, a hairpin with a jade bite in the dragon’s mouth, an exquisite ivory carving, and all sorts of trinkets.
Silk embroidered with phoenixes, a turtle carved in gold, the emperor’s seal. Documents granting titles and territories exempt from taxes.
All the favors I had wrapped in silk before I died.
And so, the favors that left no trace for me.
Reasons that remained a mystery even after being reborn.
I closed my eyes, watching the endless stream of gold and jewels. It was time to wake up.
* * *
Regaining consciousness, an overwhelming sense of fatigue washed over me, strong enough to prevent me from even opening my eyes. My body was soaked in cold sweat, as if I had just woken up from a nightmare.
It’s strange. It wasn’t a bad dream, per se. I tried to wipe the cold sweat from my forehead, but my arms were too short to reach.
“…Whatefer. (…Whatever.)”
Giving up, I sprawled out my limbs and waited for the sweat to dry naturally. The dampness made me feel a bit cold, so I pulled the blanket up to my neck. It wasn’t thick, but it was better than nothing.
“……Yeah. its bitter tan dat time. (Yeah. It’s better than that time.)”
It was funny when I thought about it. Maybe my mind was getting tired as my body got older, but even if I lived a hundred lives, I could never face a more difficult problem than His Majesty, so what was I worrying about?
He was a truly demanding master to serve. He was competent, capricious, and had a way of drawing people in.
Yes. The problem was the last part. He had a human charm that made me want to be loyal to him purely out of love, not for gain.
So I devoted my loyalty to him, even though I knew I would be discarded after a thousand years, no matter how much favor I gained. I accepted my dismissal meekly when it came.
And I chose suicide instead of the other options I could have taken. I’d rather die than rebel against him.
In comparison, what I’m doing with the Emperor of Retail is at least a deal. I don’t pledge my loyalty to the Emperor of Retail, and he doesn’t favor me. So whatever the outcome, I can at least try to make things work.
“I hafe desided. (I’ve decided.)”
Once I decided to let go of my infatuation, the decision came easily. I had finally defined my purpose, means, and level.
Yes. Let’s build a social circle.
* * * *
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