“I hafe nefr ben luky. (I’ve never been lucky.)”
I muttered softly, my face pressed against the desk. They say talking to yourself is crazy, but I often talk to myself when I’m alone, since people would look at me strangely if I said these things in front of them.
When I opened my eyes again after hanging myself with the decree issued by His Majesty, I was Blanche Roa Vandaluin, the youngest princess of the Kingdom of Lamore.
As there is a biography of Yi Baek-ryeon, I was not dreaming, but a reincarnation. And with all my memories intact.
Since I had already seen someone reborn like this, with memories of their previous life, in my previous life, it wasn’t that surprising to be given a new life. I guess it’s a matter of bloodline.
What surprised me more was how similar this life was to my previous one.
Blanche Roa Vandaluin was a princess of the Lamore royal family, but she wasn’t directly in the line of succession. In other words, Blanche was an adopted child from a collateral line.
Similarly, I was adopted from a collateral line into the prominent Yi family. Both of us were adopted not out of pity for orphaned children but for their usefulness. We were adopted to serve a purpose.
Yi Baek-ryeon was brought into the family by the lord who, lacking an heir, adopted the clever child from a collateral line. Blanche, on the other hand…
Blanche was a hostage princess.
To explain this “hostage princess,” I need to explain the position of the Lamore Kingdom.
The Kingdom of Lamore is a small, weak country sandwiched between the powerful Ratail Empire and the Cartian Kingdom. In fact, its continued existence can only be attributed to the fact that these two powers are constantly at odds with each other, leaving Lamore alone.
If either the Ratail Empire or the Cartian Kingdom were to annex Lamore, they would share a border with each other, which would significantly increase their defense spending. Neither empire has any desire to take such a risk unless they are planning to declare war on the other.
“Dats a leal miss…. (That’s a real mess….)”
While Lamore’s location between two superpowers could be considered an advantage, it also means that the kingdom must constantly be on guard against both of them. It might even be easier for Lamore to simply become a vassal state of one of the empires.
And this is precisely why the King of Lamore adopted me. The Ratail Empire had demanded a hostage, but the king was unwilling to send his own precious child.
“I must hafe comitet sum grafe thin in my prefious life. (I must have committed some grave sin in my previous life.)”
My childhood, both in my previous life and this one, has been far from easy. I lost both of my parents at the age of two, and I was adopted as a hostage. For a year, I was neglected and treated with indifference, as everyone knew I would soon be leaving.
And so, here I am today. At the tender age of three, I must leave my homeland for the Ratail Empire. And I will probably never set foot on my native soil again.
“…I ton’t wont to go. (I don’t want to go.)”
Truly.
In my previous life, I did everything I could. I devoted my body and soul to my family and my country. I suppressed my personal grudges and never hid my talents. I went wherever my skills were needed, whether it was in the fields of martial arts, literature, or anything else I could do.
I thought that if I did everything I could, everything would be alright.
“Pat it watn’t. (But it wasn’t.)”
I already know what happens when I push myself to the limit. I remember the reward I received for going the extra mile, for working harder and harder.
This life will be no different. It will only get worse if I try.
“Pat I can’t day eider… (But I can’t die either…)”
Committing suicide would only lead to an even worse reincarnation, but that’s not my biggest problem. The biggest problem is that I’m only three years old. It’s hard to tie a strong knot with such small hands.
And Another Thing…
“Princess, I’ve finished preparing for our departure and have come to escort you.”
As I was feeling dejected over the obvious failure, the person I had been waiting for arrived.
Tula Delota. She was my nanny, who came to the palace with me after my parents died when I was two years old, and now she will be crossing over to the Ratail Empire with me once again.
“Shall we go?”
I stared at the child who was smiling warmly at me.
…Tula had said that I was exactly like her daughter. She said that she was reminded of her daughter, who had died as soon as she was born.
But she wasn’t the only one who thought of her daughter when she looked at the other person. I did too. I also thought of my daughter when I looked at Tula. My daughter from my previous life, whom I had to leave behind and die for. My child, who had to witness her mother’s suicide and lose her entire family at the tender age of twenty.
Just as Yi Baek-ryeon and Blanche’s childhood fates were similar, Tula and my daughter before I died are similar now.
Not only in age, but also in that they have to risk danger because of me.
My daughter was in danger of being ostracized by His Majesty simply because she was my daughter. Tula, just because she was my nanny, had to leave her beloved hometown, family, relatives, and friends and go to a foreign land far away.
As Yi Baek-ryeon, who chose suicide to protect her daughter, and as Blanche, who lost her parents at the age of two and was raised by her nanny, this child is someone who can’t help but touch my heart.
It is because of this child that I cannot end this second life that I never asked for. I can’t bear to think what will happen to this child, who is like my daughter but not my own blood, after I’m gone.
“Tua. (Tula.)”
So, before we embarked on our long journey, I made one promise.
“Yes, Princess.”
“…I ill protekt you. (I will protect you.)”
Words I could never bear to say to my daughter.
In her previous life, Yi Baek-ryeon, despite having the power to make even birds fall, could not protect even her own daughter and chose death.
But to put it another way, this means that no matter how bad the situation is, I will be able to protect at least one person. Even if it means starting from the bottom, unlike my previous life where I rose to the highest position, and even if I don’t show even a tenth of my abilities. As long as I’m willing to risk my life.
So I decided to do that. Unlike my previous life, where I was constantly backstabbed and envied, I decided to live only for my own protection, showing only as much of my abilities as I need to.
In that way, even though she is not my own blood, I will protect this child who has raised me and will share my life or death.
“Yes?”
Tula, who did not know my previous life, opened her eyes wide as if she didn’t understand why I was saying such a serious thing.
Since I wasn’t saying it for her understanding, I just held out my arms to the child.
“Let’s go, I hafe ben waitink for you. (Let’s go, I’ve been waiting for you.)”
As if she had brushed off my monologue as a babble, Tula just smiled and hugged me, as if she thought it was more like a cooing sound.
“Shall I pack that book too?”
Since I was too young to climb onto a chair, there was no way I could have put the book on the bookshelf. I looked at the cover of my biography wrapped in a dust jacket and shook my head.
“No, I’m dun wit it. (No, I’m done with it.)”
Now that I know how my end was written, I no longer need it. After all, what is written there is not the truth.
* * *
The journey to the Ratail Empire was long. It was already a long distance, and it was even slower because I couldn’t pick up the pace.
So, I took the time to calmly think about my course of action after arriving at the Empire. I had a lot of time to think since I had nothing to do but be carried in the carriage.
“Tere were a lot of peeple coming, light? Ten ill tere pe a place four me? (There were a lot of people coming, right? Then will there be a place for me?)”
First of all, I was not the only one coming to the Empire this time.
Last year, a new emperor ascended to the throne in the Ratail Empire. He also requested that all countries on the continent send “peace envoys.”
It was the coachman who had told me that the same request was made to Cartian and that the two countries had once been on edge.
Using the “child-like” speaking style that I had learned during my year in the palace, I asked the cook who broke out in laughter.
“I hear the palace is very spacious. There must be plenty of room for a small person like the princess.”
So it means they’re not building a new building for the envoys. It’s also not for me alone, and if they had built a new building for people from all over the continent, there would have been rumors.
So there’s a high probability that I’ll have to share a building with other people. No matter how big the land is, there won’t be dozens of buildings, right?
So I can’t choose the option to live like a dead mouse and avoid the eyes of others. The people who share the same palace will never forget me. In this case, even if I live quietly, I will be bullied.
In that case, what I have to choose is…
“Are you very tired? We’ll be there in two days, so please bear with me a little longer.”
I turned my head at the voice that dug into my mind, lost in thought. Tula was there, worried that I might be tired from the long trip.
“Leally?(Really?)”
“Yes. You can rest after you have an audience with His Majesty the Emperor after you arrive.”
An audience with the emperor as soon as we arrive, exhausted from the long journey. For an ordinary person, it would be a terrifying thing to do, but for me, it was an opportunity.
“Kood. (Good.)”
If I can’t live as if I exist or not, I have to show that I’m not weak on the contrary. But how can a 3-year-old princess from a weak country who is barely hanging on by the skin of her teeth due to her position give that impression?
* * * *
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