Even if it was extremely cold, a hint of tenderness and heartache could be heard.
A world-turning joy surged into Lu Xiaochan’s heart.
He wanted to throw himself into the other’s embrace, but as the other person stood up and moved aside, Lu Xiaochan fell flat on his face.
“Father—have you come to find me?”
In his heart, Lu Xiaochan envied how Ah Bao’s father had searched for him for so many years, and he had even dreamt of his own father coming to find him.
The people who were stunned earlier finally regained their senses.
“You… you’re really this beggar’s… father…”
The burly tree-cutter’s eyes were nearly popping out.
“Little beggar… your father is so strong… he looks frail… yet he can hold up this old locust tree?”
“The little beggar’s father is so young? Could it be that he had him when he was only seven or eight years old?”
The surrounding people discussed among themselves.
Lu Xiaochan’s head was buzzing. He was truly on the verge of starving to death, yet he still stretched out his hand, wanting to touch that person, even though he knew in his heart that the person wouldn’t let him.
“I’m not your father.”
I don’t care if you’re my father or not.
In this life, I’ve never had the chance to call anyone “father”, so you’re lucky!
To have given birth to a blind person like me, who knows what kind of evil deeds my real father must have done.
Your voice, though cold, is also clear and noble. How could you be someone who would do evil deeds?
“Then are you my family?” Lu Xiaochan clenched his fist.
“No.”
These simple two words disappointed Lu Xiaochan.
“Then are you my friend?”
“No.”
Though this man’s voice was cold, it was inexplicably pleasing to the ear.
Like a piece of cold jade carried close to one’s body, retaining a hint of warmth.
“Then… who are you to me?”
After a long while, Lu Xiaochan still hadn’t heard the other person’s response, which scared him.
“Have you left?” He immediately stretched out his hand to feel around, but found nothing.
“I’m here.”
Hearing his voice, Lu Xiaochan let out a long sigh of relief.
“I… I thought you had left…” Lu Xiaochan’s nose stung and his throat tightened painfully. “You’ve come, but you’ve been refusing to see me… do you dislike me?”
But I believe you won’t be like other people, despising me for being a dirty, blind beggar.
“I will never dislike you.”
The voice, which had been flat and emotionless, suddenly softened, falling gently on Lu Xiaochan’s heart, so clear and soothing that Lu Xiaochan wanted to hear him speak again and again.
“It’s just that a long, long time ago… you really disliked me.”
The latter part was said very softly, like a series of tiny wounds, each one negligible on its own, but none had healed during the long wait.
“That’s impossible! When I was almost beaten to death by the butcher, you healed me, didn’t you? Every day there’s good food around me, you bought it for me specially, didn’t you? When I was almost crushed by the old locust tree, you came to save me too, didn’t you? You’re so good to me, how could I ever dislike you?”
Although Lu Xiaochan couldn’t see, for many years he had been telling himself not to care about others’ attitudes towards him… but he was still human after all, hoping someone would care about him, even if just for a moment, and keep him in their heart.
“Xiaochan…”
His name was uttered, still in a calm voice, yet tinged with reluctance, and hoarse as if parched.
Lu Xiaochan grew nervous.
What are you going to say?
“Come with me…if you don’t dislike me anymore.”
Lu Xiaochan held his breath, his heartbeat like dense drumbeats, each one seeming to knock on the outside world, as if light could shine in at any moment.
“Where do you want to take me? Are you going to send me home?” Lu Xiaochan asked instinctively.
When Ah Bao left, he had seemed indifferent.
But actually, he cared very much…everyone had a home, except him.
“If you want to go home, I’ll take you there, but please agree to three conditions.”
Lu Xiaochan had no strength left and couldn’t get up, so he just lifted his finger slightly before letting it drop.
As long as I can go with you, never mind three conditions, even three hundred or three thousand conditions, I’d be willing!
“First, when I tell you to go east, you must not go west. Otherwise… I’ll lose you again.”
Lu Xiaochan made a sound of agreement.
Although the old beggar said Lu Xiaochan was born rebellious – if told to go west, he’d insist on going east; if told to find a horse, he’d ride a donkey!
But now that he could finally meet this person, Lu Xiaochan didn’t dare to “rebel”.
If he angered him and he left, Lu Xiaochan would be alone again, and no one would care if he was crushed to death by an old locust tree.
“Second, you’re not allowed to touch me.”
Lu Xiaochan’s heart inexplicably soured, and he suddenly felt like crying.
He had thought that this person coming to him meant he was the one who despised him the least.
How could it be that he still cared that Lu Xiaochan was a beggar, dirty and smelly, and so didn’t want to be touched by him?
Lu Xiaochan’s forehead pressed against the ground, feeling very sad and upset, too dejected to even lift a finger.
“If I scrubbed off all the dirt on my body… and was completely clean… would you still not let me touch you?”
The man stood still in his original spot, as if standing on a steep cliff. Though his heart seemed settled, Lu Xiaochan’s words made him waver.
“…It’s not possible.”
These two words were very definite, but Lu Xiaochan heard in them a pain as if carved into bone marrow.
“If I can’t touch, then I won’t… I know I’m dirty and smelly…”
Anyway, I don’t have the strength to touch you.
“You’re not dirty, nor smelly. You helped me overcome a calamity, so…I can no longer touch you.”
“What would happen if I touched you?”
Lu Xiaochan thought to himself, I even have the ability to help others overcome calamities? Could it be that I was also a cultivator in the past?
“You would be in great pain.”
Lu Xiaochan laughed. “I don’t believe it! Either let me touch you, or tell me what’s going on!”
If you tell me not to touch you, I’ll insist on touching you.
Tsk tsk tsk, I want to see just how painful it could be if I touched you?
When I get more familiar with you, I’ll touch you every day and see what you can do about it.
“The third condition is not to ask about the past. I will never lie to you.”
“I understand… because you don’t want to lie to me, you’re unwilling to answer my questions, and I won’t press you further.”
Although Lu Xiaochan had countless questions in his heart, he understood that the things the other person didn’t want to lie about must also be painful memories hidden in his heart.
“What you don’t want to answer, I won’t ask.”
You’re the person who treats me the best in this world now, how could I bear to poke at the pain in your heart?
“Drink this.”
The man took another step forward.
In this short step, Lu Xiaochan heard the light rustle of his clothes, and even the sound of his headband being lifted and lowered by the wind. He could even feel how extremely close the man was, as if about to touch him.
Lu Xiaochan could even sense his warmth.
Then, he moved away again.
Lu Xiaochan felt a small porcelain bottle, its body made of some unknown material, feeling cool and smooth.
He poured it into his mouth, and it felt like a mist surged into his lips and tongue, swirling into his throat.
His originally weak and powerless body suddenly regained its energy.
His heart and lungs felt refreshed, as if he had been reborn.
Lu Xiaochan stood up and flexed his wrists and fingers.
At this moment, one end of a bamboo branch tapped his palm, and Lu Xiaochan quickly reached out to grasp it.
The other end of the bamboo branch was naturally held in that person’s hand.
“Let’s go.”
The man turned around.
Lu Xiaochan held onto the bamboo branch, following behind him.
“If I hadn’t agreed to your three conditions, would you have left me behind?”
“I would still have to take you with me.” Shu Wuxi’s voice was very soft, as if afraid of disturbing someone, yet very certain.
“Then why did you still propose these three conditions?”
“Because in the past, I wanted to keep you by my side, but you were unwilling in every way.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know.”
Huh? How could you not know? I, Lu Xiaochan, have always disliked people who don’t speak their mind directly!
“Think about it? Did you steal my food and drink? Or did you beat me when I misbehaved?”
“I gave you everything you liked. Even when you misbehaved, I wouldn’t hit you.”
“Then why?” Lu Xiaochan couldn’t understand no matter how hard he thought.
But the phrase “I gave you everything you liked” made Lu Xiaochan’s heart feel as if it was filled with hundreds of sweet cakes.
Giving everything meant holding nothing back.
Could there really be someone in this world who would give him everything without reservation?
“What…what’s your name?”
“My name is Shu Wuxi.”
Although his voice sounded cold, upon careful listening, one could detect a hint of gentleness.
Lu Xiaochan had heard the voices of everyone in the entire Lushu Town, but none of them sounded as pleasant as Shu Wuxi’s, enticing Lu Xiaochan to want to keep listening to him speak.
Even though Shu Wuxi spoke very briefly with each sentence.
If something could be said clearly in one word, he absolutely wouldn’t say a second.
Shu Wuxi….Shu Wuxi…
Lu Xiaochan repeated the other’s name over and over in his heart, afraid he might forget it.
“Your name is so special…does it have any meaning?”
“My name was given to me by you.” Shu Wuxi stopped.
Lu Xiaochan’s heart trembled slightly, and Shu Wuxi’s cool voice suddenly seemed to soften in his ears.
“…I…when did I ever give you a name? From your voice, you sound older than me. How could I have had the chance to name you?”
Lu Xiaochan had so many questions he wanted to ask Shu Wuxi now. Why couldn’t he remember so many things that Shu Wuxi mentioned?
“Because in the past, I only had a title, not a name. You said you didn’t like my title, so you gave me a name.”
Lu Xiaochan patted his head. He really couldn’t remember any of this. But Shu Wuxi spoke so seriously, it couldn’t be untrue!
“But how could I have given you such a name?”
“You liked a poem by Immortal Lord Lingyuan – ‘White clouds and gray dogs leave no trace, the rolling and stretching clouds eventually have no gap.’ You used the last line to name me.”
Who is Immortal Lord Lingyuan? It sounds like an immortal title? Shu Wuxi also had a title. The old beggar had said that those with immortal titles had all practiced cultivation for at least five hundred years and reached a certain level.
Although Lu Xiaochan couldn’t remember naming him at all, and even suspected that the other person had mistaken him for someone else, just thinking that he might have given the other person his name gave him a sense of satisfaction for the first time.
“Then do you know what my name is?” Lu Xiaochan asked, tilting his head.
Shu Wuxi of course knew.
Lu Xiaochan had heard him call him “Xiaochan” before, so asking this question was just to hear him say his name again.
“Your name is Lu Xiaochan.”
Lu Xiaochan felt as if a joyous Buddha was sitting in his heart. His feet felt light, and he couldn’t help wanting to get closer to the other person.
But as soon as he took half a step closer, the bamboo branch pressed against his palm.
“Do you remember what you promised me?”
“I remember…”
The joy he had felt just moments ago instantly deflated like a frost-bitten eggplant.
Shu Wuxi wouldn’t let him touch him.
“Then who are you to me?”
Our relationship must be extraordinary, otherwise why would you come looking for a blind person like me?
“An old acquaintance.”
“…How could we possibly be old acquaintances? I’ve grown up in Lushu Town since I was little! If I had met you before, how could I possibly not remember you!”
In his urgency, Lu Xiaochan tried to move forward again, but his palm was poked by the bamboo branch once more, forcing him to retreat half a step.
“I remember you.”
It was still such a short sentence, but Lu Xiaochan’s eyes were about to turn red again.
He just wanted to be remembered by someone.
When the old beggar left, he was afraid no one would care about him.
When Ah Bao left, he was also afraid no one would remember him.
But Shu Wuxi said he remembered him.
