Liu Zhuang Xian

Were You Nervous?

At that moment, a cool yet gentle voice sounded. “Xiaochan, the water has cooled. Get up.”

The soul of the young man in the dream plummeted, falling into Lu Xiaochan’s body. Lu Xiaochan’s shoulders trembled.

Shu Wuxi lightly tapped on the edge of the wooden tub.

Lu Xiaochan suddenly opened his eyes… He had dreamed again!

“Oh! Alright!”

Lu Xiaochan, while regretting how the dream had ended so abruptly, got up and wiped the water off his body. He then crouched down, feeling around trying to pick up his tattered clothes.

Wait… Did the man in the dream keep the young boy’s cut hair? Could it be… that boy was really himself? And Shu Wuxi was the one who got his hair?

Lu Xiaochan remained in a crouching position picking up clothes until Shu Wuxi’s voice sounded.

“Underpants.” Shu Wuxi used a bamboo branch to pick up a pair of white shorts and placed it in Lu Xiaochan’s hand.

Lu Xiaochan hurriedly put them on.

The fabric of these underpants was soft. In his sixteen years of life, little Xiaochan had never enjoyed such good treatment.

“Undergarment.” Shu Wuxi picked up another piece of clothing for him.

Lu Xiaochan had never worn an undergarment in his life! He was lucky if he had a piece of rag to cover his body!

Unable to see, he struggled for a while and ended up putting the top and bottom of the undergarment on backwards.

“This clothing is so strange! My shoulders feel very uncomfortable!”

Lu Xiaochan’s little face scrunched up.

“I’ll help you put it on. Stand still and don’t move.”

Eh? Shu Wuxi was going to help him get dressed!

If he was willing to help him dress, why couldn’t he touch him even once?

Oh my, oh my, if not now, when?

“Okay.” Lu Xiaochan obediently stood still with his arms outstretched.

The incorrectly worn undergarment was removed.

Shu Wuxi’s movements were very gentle. He stood in front of Lu Xiaochan, putting on the left sleeve first, then the right.

He lowered his head to fasten Lu Xiaochan’s lapels.

“Shu Wuxi, are you nervous?”

Shu Wuxi didn’t answer him.

He was much taller than Lu Xiaochan. Whenever he spoke to Lu Xiaochan, he would lower his head slightly.

The old beggar once said that the most beautiful sight in the world was when a beauty lowered their head, full of anticipation yet shy.

What about Shu Wuxi?

What did he look like at this moment?

Were his eyes full of anticipation, or were they calm, without any expression?

“I’m not nervous.”

Shu Wuxi’s voice remained as calm as still water.

“Oh… I couldn’t hear you breathing, so I thought you were so nervous that you were holding your breath!”

Lu Xiaochan said with a grin.

By now, Shu Wuxi had finished tying the strings of the two lapels.

Lu Xiaochan couldn’t help but imagine what Shu Wuxi’s fingers looked like.

Were they long and slender, smooth and gentle?

Lu Xiaochan deliberately blew a forceful breath forward, sending warm, moist air past Shu Wuxi’s ear.

A strand of hair lifted slightly.

Shu Wuxi’s fingers were still lightly holding the strings of Lu Xiaochan’s lapels. He instinctively stepped back, causing the strings to loosen again.

The breath of air dissipated.

Lu Xiaochan smiled, his lips curling.

He had heard the sound of Shu Wuxi’s throat moving. Shu Wuxi was nervous!

Realizing that the always calm and composed Shu Wuxi was actually nervous, Lu Xiaochan found it intriguing.

“Did my breath touch you? But I don’t feel any pain!”

Lu Xiaochan spread his hands, smirking mischievously.

“Your breath doesn’t count.”

Shu Wuxi’s voice was like a taut, smooth string, making Lu Xiaochan want to pluck it even more.

“Oh—it doesn’t count!”

Lu Xiaochan deliberately blew another breath, this time making a whistling sound. His voice rose upwards, though he didn’t know if he was actually blowing on Shu Wuxi or not.

Suddenly, the strings at his waist tightened.

“Stop messing around.”

“Alright, I’ll stop. I’ll just blow on myself.”

Lu Xiaochan pretended to be bored and blew on his own bangs. But when Shu Wuxi was adjusting the hem of his clothes, Lu Xiaochan casually blew upwards again, then pressed his lips together in a smile.

“What are you doing?” Shu Wuxi’s voice was low.

“I… I wanted to blow on your bangs too.”

Shu Wuxi fell silent.

Thinking he might be angry, Lu Xiaochan quickly tried to smooth things over.

“Well… you know I can’t see, but I really want to know what you look like. You won’t let me touch you, so I can only blow air! If I blow on your eyes, I can imagine that I’m touching you. Touching your brow bone… your eyelashes… the corners of your eyes…”

Lu Xiaochan closed his eyes, imagining very seriously.

After a long while, Shu Wuxi finally spoke. “You didn’t blow on my eyes just now.”

It was like tea that had already cooled suddenly becoming warm again. It couldn’t quench thirst when drunk, but instead made one thirstier.

“Then where did I blow?”

The nose? Ears? Cheeks?

Ah, Lu Xiaochan didn’t even know how tall Shu Wuxi was. When tying the strings, was Shu Wuxi bending his head down?

The other still didn’t answer him.

As Lu Xiaochan was imagining in his mind, he suddenly had a realization.

Oh no!

“I… I didn’t blow on your mouth, did I?”

Shu Wuxi didn’t answer him, instead turning to leave. Lu Xiaochan instinctively reached out to grab him.

“Didn’t I say not to touch me?”

In an instant, Lu Xiaochan’s palm was struck by the bamboo branch.

“Ouch!”

He quickly pulled his hand back, bringing it to his mouth to blow on it forcefully.

It hurt so much!

“I didn’t hurt you. It was just a lesson.”

“Liar! If you didn’t hurt me, why does it hurt so much?”

Lu Xiaochan kept rubbing his palm.

“If you had really touched me, then you’d know what real pain is.”

Are you saying you’d hit my hands until they’re bloody and raw?

Lu Xiaochan quickly hid both hands behind his back.

“Put on the outer robe too. I’ll call someone to clean up the bath tub.”

Lu Xiaochan struggled for a while before managing to put on the outer robe crookedly.

When the servant came to clean the tub, he slipped on something and fell.

Lu Xiaochan was about to step forward but was stopped by Shu Wuxi’s bamboo branch.

“Did I say you could look at him?”

His voice sounded calm, but carried an intimidating authority that made one unable to raise their head.

Lu Xiaochan was confused. He was blind, what could he possibly see?

But the servant hurriedly pushed the tub away, scurrying out in a panic. At the doorway, he stumbled and fell again.

Only then did Lu Xiaochan realize Shu Wuxi’s previous words were directed at the servant.

“Why can’t he look at me?” Lu Xiaochan couldn’t help but ask.

Shu Wuxi didn’t answer his question, only saying. “We’ll set out from here tomorrow morning.”

“Leaving tomorrow morning? But I still have some unfinished business!”

“What business?”

“Shu Wuxi, do you have any money left?” Lu Xiaochan suddenly moved closer to him, but remembering the bamboo branch, he abruptly stopped.

“Yes.”

“Could you give me a little? Just a bit!” Lu Xiaochan held out his clasped hands in front of Shu Wuxi, his round eyes wide open. He was only missing a beggar’s bowl.

“What do you need money for?”

“Because I have unfulfilled wishes! I want to eat Old Chen’s sugar paintings! Drink Old lady Wang’s pig blood soup! And the braised beef and chicken noodles from Wusi Tavern – I want to eat my fill! It’s half a month’s journey from my home to here, and I’m blind. It won’t be easy to come back again…”

“Whenever you want to come back, I’ll accompany you.”

“Really?”

“Mm.”

At that moment, Lu Xiaochan’s stomach growled loudly.

He suddenly remembered that he hadn’t eaten for three whole days in order to make Shu Wuxi appear.

Though he didn’t know what was in the small bottle Shu Wuxi had given him, even the most potent elixir seemed to have worn off by now.

“Let’s go, I’ll take you out.”

“Are you hungry too?”

“I’m not hungry. You said you wanted sugar paintings, pig blood soup, braised beef, and chicken noodles.”

Shu Wuxi had already opened the door and was about to walk out.

Lu Xiaochan hurried to follow, grasping the bamboo branch, afraid that if he was a beat too slow, Shu Wuxi would disappear.

Along the way, Lu Xiaochan could hear the neighbors whispering.

“That young master must be from out of town. I’ve never seen such a handsome young gentleman before!”

“Those eyes are so beautiful…”

“How old is this young master? He looks so fresh and tender, makes one want to take a bite…”

Lu Xiaochan tilted his head, wondering who they were talking about.

Was it Shu Wuxi?

But from Shu Wuxi’s voice, he seemed to be a grown man, not someone who’d be called “young master” or “young gentleman”.

Lu Xiaochan happened to step on a pebble and twisted his ankle slightly.

Shu Wuxi turned around, using the bamboo branch to easily support Lu Xiaochan again.

“Ah… he seems to be blind!”

“What a pity, such beautiful eyes, yet he can’t see!”

Only then did Lu Xiaochan realize that the voices he heard weren’t discussing Shu Wuxi, but talking about him.

He stopped walking, and Shu Wuxi stopped as well.

“What’s wrong?”

“I… I grew up here, and plenty of people called me dirty and smelly… This is the first time I’ve been called good-looking… I feel uncomfortable…” Lu Xiaochan scratched the back of his head.

“Then I’ll pluck out their eyes so they can’t see you. That way you won’t feel uncomfortable.”

Shu Wuxi’s voice remained calm and composed, not sounding at all like he was saying something cruel.

It seemed that to him, this was perfectly reasonable.

Lu Xiaochan was stunned.

“Wait… Are you… are you some kind of immortal cultivator? Talking about plucking out people’s eyes so casually doesn’t seem right, does it?”

“Their eyes aren’t your eyes. What does it matter to me?”

Lu Xiaochan was momentarily at a loss for how to respond.

That feeling came over him again – the sense that Shu Wuxi didn’t understand mundane human emotions and had no excess sympathy.

 

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