Song Tae-eun’s heavy eyelids twitched. She wanted to open her eyes to find the source of the smell, but at the same time, she also wanted to pretend to be asleep, following her body’s wants.
Despite the drowsiness, her body, which had been chilled, gradually warmed up along with the intensified scent.
Was this a dream too? Or was it an imagination created by the unexplored corners of her mind? She couldn’t distinguish because her body was in too much pain.
So, she gently closed her eyes and curled into a ball. Then, the intensified scent and warmth seemed to surround her.
As she teetered on the brink of sleep, she felt as if a large hand was gently stroking her head. The touch felt as if it were cautiously caressing something very precious, causing a tingling sensation around her heart like feathers tickling.
And then, as it had happened before, a moist and soft sensation settled on the bridge of her nose. What had been cool quickly warmed up as if her fever had transferred into it.
It felt good.
Her stiff lips slowly relaxed. As she gradually succumbed to drowsiness, she leaned her face toward the gentle sensation.
The moist sensation descended down the bridge of her nose and touched her lips. A cool breeze flowed through the slightly parted lips. Her shoulders shivered.
But the feeling of coldness was brief, and soon the warm air circulated around her body. The chill dissipated gradually. Even in her semi-conscious state, she knew what she wanted.
Just a little more…
She thought she heard a low chuckle. With the image of a man who had been absent for days in her mind, she fell back into a deep sleep.
***
Tae-eun managed to open her eyes when she heard the sound of Dodam scratching at the door. The room was already filled with the warm sunlight.
It was already eleven o’clock. With a tired face, she checked her phone and saw a message from her mom urging her to eat porridge.
After washing off her sweat, Dodam eagerly licked around her lips. She had been in the room since yesterday afternoon, so the puppy seemed worried.
“Dodam, did you go for a walk?”
The kitchen emitted a savory smell. A pot of abalone porridge cooked by her mom was placed on the gas stove. She helped herself to a bowl and filled it with the porridge.
“I’ll feed Dodam and take her for a walk.”
Dodami obediently waited as if understanding her words. But it didn’t last long. After seeming to run off freely, the doorbell rang. It seemed like the guests who visited her dad every day had come again.
Tae-eun quietly sighed and got up. She was dressed in a hoodie and pajama pants, but she didn’t even have the strength to change clothes, so she checked the intercom first.
“Who is it?”
– It’s me, noona.
Ji Hyun-ho’s sharp face appeared on the square screen. Surprised, she took a step back. Then, she reached out and quickly pressed the open button.
The puppy wagged its tail in front of the closed front door. She felt the presence of someone crossing the yard. She fidgeted anxiously during that short time.
She had already dreamed of him in the early hours of the morning. She couldn’t remember the exact details this time, but she distinctly remembered whimpering to him in pain due to her illness. She didn’t have the face to see the real man.
“Hey.”
The man who opened the front door greeted her, poking his face out first. He seemed even more handsome than before, making it difficult for her to meet his gaze. She kept suppressing the urge to hide somewhere and returned the greeting.
“Hi.”
He carefully examined her face with a concerned expression.
“Are you feeling better?”
“How did you know I was sick?”
Tae-eun’s eyes widened. For a moment, she wondered if that dream, in which she clung to him while whimpering, had been real, even entertaining such absurd thoughts.
“My aunt told me she took Dodam for a walk this morning. She mentioned you weren’t feeling well.”
His natural use of the term ‘Noona’ made her ears tickle. It made her realize how close they were, calling each other’s moms ‘aunt.’
“I’m fine now.”
“Thank goodness.”
He smiled and replied, and then the house fell silent. Apart from the puppy circling around the man’s legs, nobody moved or spoke.
“…Do you want some abalone porridge?”
Tae-eun blurted out awkwardly, trying to break the awkward silence. And when she saw the slight downturn of his lips, she immediately regretted it. She should have suggested having tea instead.
“Would you like that?”
He turned to her, readjusting his expression, and headed towards the kitchen, seemingly familiar with the situation. His natural movements hinted at his frequent visits to this house. Feeling like a guest herself, Tae-eun followed him, trailing behind.
“Are the bowls here?”
“Yeah.”
Hyun-ho retrieved a bowl from the cabinet and served the porridge himself. Then, from the paper bag he brought, he took out jars of fruit preserves in various colors.
“These are fruit preserves I made. Yuzu, lime, lemon, and ginger. Just mix them with warm water or carbonated water and drink.”
As she listened to his explanation, Tae-eun’s ears turned red with embarrassment. She felt an inexplicable restlessness, making her fingertips twitch involuntarily. She mumbled a small word of thanks.
“Thank you. I’ll enjoy it.”
“When you finish them, let me know. I’ll bring more.”
He smiled and picked up his spoon. It was almost like a courtesy visit. Tae-eun felt embarrassed for making a fuss over nothing. So, she focused on emptying her bowl, pushing the porridge into her mouth diligently.
After finishing the meal, Hyun-ho returned with freshly brewed lemon ginger tea. Tae-eun fiddled with the tablecloth, feeling even more awkward when she noticed her checkered pajama pants in his view. She couldn’t bring herself to look up.
“Did Dodam give you a hard time?”
“Huh?”
At the unexpected question from across the table, she couldn’t help but raise her gaze. The man’s face was more serious than she had anticipated.
“Did Dodam make you sick, Noona?”
The puppy, who had been lying under the table, perked up at the sound of its name. Tae-eun recalled the events leading up to her illness.
His absence.
Suddenly, she felt unfairly upset about how much she had been affected by someone who was just a childhood acquaintance. Moreover, he wasn’t even her friend; he was the younger brother of her brother’s friend.
“No, it’s not that. I just caught a cold while cleaning.”
She couldn’t understand why she felt gloomy just because she didn’t see him for a few days. But yesterday, she felt calm enough to want to move her body busily.
“Then, can I take a look at your room, Noona?”
“What?”
It seemed like there was often a tendency for Tae-eun to be dumbfounded whenever she was with Ji Hyun-ho. He sometimes seemed to skip several steps in a conversation.
“I heard you cleaned it. I want to take a look.”
What relationship was there between the fact that she cleaned the room and his desire to look around? Tae-eun blinked silently, and he stood up first.
“Is this Noona’s room next to Min-jae hyung’s?”
As if in a daze, Tae-eun got up and followed him. She didn’t even think about stopping him as they crossed the living room; she simply thought that it should be fine since she cleaned yesterday.
But it wasn’t until she reached the tightly closed door that she remembered she hadn’t aired out the room today. She also remembered that even the bedding remained unchanged despite sweating until dawn.
She dashed into the room ahead of Hyun-ho and threw open the window, quickly hiding the clothes strewn across the bed under the blanket.
“It’s still the same here.”
Fortunately, he didn’t seem to notice, casually looking around the small room. Tae-eun felt like a scolded child, standing with her hands clasped in front of her, waiting.
“It’s been almost 20 years since you’ve been in this room, right? Isn’t that right?”
It probably was. Tae-eun nodded slowly. It was amazing how he still remembered events from when they were six years old. Seeing him evoke memories from the past with his innocent face made her feel like a very cruel person.
“That’s when I first saw the glow-in-the-dark stars. I thought they were amazing, so as soon as I got home, I begged our parents to get them for us.”
That was what was so amazing. Tae-eun was ten years old at the time, but she couldn’t remember a thing.
“I said it was okay.”
Hyun-ho spoke as if he knew exactly what she was thinking. Perhaps because he was facing the window, his irises looked somewhat darker.
“Anyway, Noona’s going to stay here for now, right?”
Stay here.
Tae-eun hesitated, unable to easily respond. She returned to organizing her thoughts like a dropout. Her parents said they were taking a break, but in her eyes, she had completely veered off course.
It would be nice to spend her days lying down like a dead person except for walking the dog, but she had a long life ahead of her, and she didn’t have much money saved.
“Are you going back to Seoul?” He asked.
Once again, she didn’t answer and remained silent.
“When?”
“…I don’t know.”
Her room, just the right size for her alone, felt quite cramped with a man as large as a door leaf inside. And as he closed the distance step by step, she felt like she was suffocating more and more.
“Well, nothing’s decided yet.”
Hyun-ho chuckled as he pulled his lips into a smirk. She stole a glance at the angle of his mouth, which stretched out.
“Is that so?”
He replied with certainty. Tae-eun obediently opened her lips at his request.
“Yeah.”
“Then let’s have fun until then.”
🍉🍉🍉
