Limits of Paradise

LOP 4 (In Dreams pt.1)

Tae-eun’s bewildered gaze drifted beyond the counter. As the silence lingered, wisps of steam rose from the mug.

“…Yes?”

She hesitated, then recalled her mother’s voice saying that she used to play with this man a lot when she was young.

But there was no memory of Ji Hyun-ho in her mind. Even the high school classmates were blurry in her memory, let alone the boy she met when she was much younger.

Recalling childhood memories seemed futile, especially considering how hectic her life had been in the recent years.

A wistful smile crossed Ji Hyun-ho’s lips, contrasting with his patient demeanor just moments ago.

“You really don’t remember me.”

“Well…”

As Tae-eun hesitated to speak, the man’s eyes sparkled with anticipation. She felt even more guilty about what she was about to say next.

“I heard from my mom. You used to come over to our house often when we were young.”

He tilted his head slightly. She averted her eyes from his somewhat imposing gaze and looked down at the perfectly clean counter.

“I don’t remember exactly…”

“I thought so. That’s why I just watched and waited, but I couldn’t stand it.”

Ji Hyun-ho chuckled, a much fresher smile than before. She suddenly realized his age, younger than she had imagined. He poured the tangerine tea from the mug into a takeout cup.

“I really wanted to see you, Noona.”

Tae-eun’s eyes widened as he patted his head. His eyes softened. Over his smiling face, memories from a few days ago overlapped.

The rough sound of his breath, the scent that brushed against her skin, the warmth of his damp flesh, and even the light-colored irises that flew toward her. Her face flushed crimson, and she lowered her head deeply once again.

“Why? Is the heater too strong? Do you feel hot?”

“No, no. I’m fine.”

He leaned his elbows on the counter, towering over her. Then he lowered his gaze to meet hers, tilting his handsome face towards her.

“But until when are you going to speak so formally?”

Finally, the man met her eyes with a gentle smile. Her face blushed so much that it seemed like it could burst at any moment.

“Now that you know who I am, can’t you speak more comfortably?”

“Well, um…”

As Tae-eun’s confusion lingered, his smile deepened. She waited, hoping that perhaps by some stroke of luck, Dodam would bark loudly and come looking for her.

“Next time you come, speak comfortably, okay?”

But Ji Hyun-ho let her off more easily than she expected. With a flustered expression, she took the paper cup and stepped back.

“Well, then…Yes, goodbye.”

She bowed her head and hurriedly left the café. It seemed like she could hear a low chuckle from behind, but she paid it no mind.

And it wasn’t until she returned home after the walk that she realized, to her surprise, that she had promised to go to the café again tomorrow.

***

“Can I put this away now?”

When Tae-eun returned the soup bowl filled with red beans and chestnuts to the kitchen, her mother asked with a puzzled expression.

“Yeah, I don’t need it anymore. I’m fine now.”

“Even so, just leave it there. What if you go through something like that again?”

“It’s okay. If it happens again, I’ll take care of it then.”

She forced a smile and returned to her room. She cleaned not only the small table where the soup bowl had been but also the entire room.

She didn’t want to find the reason for having such a lewd dream within herself. So, she blamed it on finding the soup bowl filled with red beans and chestnuts when she looked for something different around her that day.

She wanted to believe that it was because of the strange effect it had caused that she had such a lewd dream.

Tae-eun sat on the clean floor and played a video titled “10-Minute Stretching for Better Sleep” and followed along diligently. She then attempted meditation, but her focus was shattered by Dodam suddenly running around the living room late at night.

She climbed onto her bed, played sleep-inducing music, and closed her eyes. Her whole body felt warm, as if she would fall asleep easily.

And she did fall into a deep sleep. Except for one dream, it was a very peaceful night until she vaguely emerged from sleep to the sounds of her busy parents just before dawn.

In the dream that began in the early morning, her brother, Song Min-jae, appeared. She recognized his mischievous young face and the cast on his arm, reminiscent of when he was in the sixth grade of elementary school.

Her brother was riding on the back of a bicycle with a friend, circling around the empty elementary school playground. Was that friend Ji Hyun-ho? The name naturally came to mind as she thought about it.

The person she was curious about was quickly found.

In the sand-filled playground, a young Song Tae-eun was playing in the sand with a boy who looked like he could be attending kindergarten.

“Duk-kkop-ah1the term 두껍 (du-kkop) was used here. It means something thick (like a book), dense, or blunt. This is not typically used as a name, but I left the romaji version as I think she was using it as a name/nickname for the child., Duk-kkop-ah, I’ll give you an old house, bring me a new one.”

Tae-eun, her hands covered in sand, approached them and squatted down. She was curious about the boy who seemed to be Ji Hyun-ho, because this dream might not be just a simple dream but a memory from the past.

As she approached, walking around the sandbox, her steps slowly came to a halt. A sudden chill swept over her.

What on earth…

“Duk-kkop-ah, Duk-kkop-ah, bring water, bring water to your house.”

The boy had no face. To be precise, while there was the outline of a head and face, there were no distinct facial features; they seemed to have been smudged with a brush dipped in pale paint.

“Duk-kkop-ah, Duk-kkop-ah, your house is on fire. Come with a scoop and quickly.”

As she piled sand onto her hand, young Song Tae-eun slowly pulled out her buried hand from the sand mound. Then, a round entrance appeared.

The faceless boy laughed happily as he saw it. Young Tae-eun felt proud as she brushed off her hand.

“Look. Noona made it well, right?”

“Make it again, make it again!”

A shiver ran down her spine as she climbed up the slide. Although the boy’s mouth wasn’t visible, his voice and laughter could be heard, making her feel as if she were possessed by a ghost. She wanted to detach her young self from that boy.

“I don’t want to. I’m going to swing now.”

Tae-eun ran to the swings. Although the boy tried to push her, in reality, a ten-year-old girl would find it easier to swing by herself.

“Come on, you’ll get hurt. Go over there.”

“Ah, play with me. Play with me, Noona.”

The boy started to whine. Young Song Tae-eun sighed as she looked resentfully at her brother and his friend riding the bike.

“Okay, I’ll give you a kiss if you slide down the slide ten times.”

“Really?”

Then, without a word, the boy held out his cheek to her. Although she couldn’t see the boy’s expression, it felt like he was delighted. Watching them from the side, Tae-eun smirked. It was fascinating how the bait of a kiss worked.

As young Tae-eun kissed the cheek of the boy without facial features, the moment she blinked while looking at them from the side, their positions were reversed.

This time, the grown-up Tae-eun was sitting on the swing, and in front of her, she saw familiar blonde hair.

So entrenched in social life that she had forgotten the lyrics to nursery rhymes, Song Tae-eun, now an adult, was kissing the cheek of the grown-up Ji Hyun-ho.

Her eyes widened. Startled, she tried to step back, but her neck was immediately grabbed. The man closed his eyes and leaned in, pressing his lips against hers.

Tae-eun’s body froze at the warmth on her lips. The moist and soft sensation wriggled on her lips. When the smooth feeling brushed past her, she couldn’t help but gasp.

All sounds ceased. Only the sound of Ji Hyun-ho kissing her lips, softly, softly, echoed in her ears. He sucked on her lower lip as if swallowing it, then alternated with the upper lip.

Slightly furrowed brows and long eyelashes appeared in her sight. His high nose touched hers. As he tilted his head slightly, their lips intertwined more deeply.

Finally, she let out the breath she had been holding. He slowly lifted his eyelids. His light hazel eyes stared directly into hers, just like in her previous dream.

The moment their eyes met, everything that surrounded her in darkness disappeared in an instant. She was expelled from the dream.

***

“Ha…”

Ji Hyun-ho wiped his dry face with his hand. The sound of waves could be heard outside the window, and the sun, peeking through thick clouds, poured light into his room.

The carefully crafted dream he had created had shattered.

It was fine to guide Song Tae-eun into the dream, but the problem was that he couldn’t always sustain it. She was overly sensitive, and whenever he tried to intervene more actively in the content of the dream, she would immediately flee.

Song Tae-eun was different from ordinary people, and that was what caught his attention, but it also posed a problem when his attempts to entice her kept getting distorted because of it.

Having woken up, he approached the bookshelf opposite him and took out the most familiar book.

<The World Beyond the Line>

His slender fingers flipped through the pages with photos pinned on them. In one slightly faded photo, a smiling ten-year-old Tae-eun was seen. She used to smile brightly and freely back then, even though she now always seemed eager to avoid people’s gazes.

In the portion he had erased, there was originally a photo of six-year-old Ji Hyun-ho. The boy she used to hold hands with and annoy until he gave her a kiss. The boy who died shortly after this photo was taken.

The original owner of this body.

Hyun-ho stretched his arms upward, then headed to the bathroom, humming a tune. He was looking forward to what face the Tae-eun he would meet again would show.

 

 

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