Limits of Paradise

A multitude of uneasy gazes poured onto Song Tae-eun. She hesitated as she entered the familiar meeting room and suddenly stood still.

‘Why am I here? I quit last week.’

Tae-eun carefully looked around the small meeting room she had been to until last Friday at her former company. Then, she noticed some differences.

A strange, wilted flower bloomed in the pot by the window, and the large blackboard on the wall was filled with indecipherable characters.

The overall layout was similar, but strictly speaking, this wasn’t the meeting room.

Finally, she realized. Oh, it’s a dream. She was in a dream distorted by reality.

But whether in a dream or reality, the way the employees looked at her was the same. She lowered her eyes and quietly sat at the far end.

Even though she looked down at the blank weekly meeting material, she didn’t think it was strange. This was a dream. But she couldn’t help but react to the vague feeling she felt.

When Song Tae-eun glanced up, Deputy Director Ha Sung-joo was sitting in front of her.

She gasped and tried to get up, but her body didn’t move. She couldn’t even twitch her finger. She couldn’t move at all. When she could only breathe heavily, feeling sensations she had never felt before, her eyes were the only thing that could move busily.

Ha Sung-joo started pulling at his not-so-thick hair and putting it into his mouth, chewing on it. His violet lips protruded with bits of hair sticking out.

Tae-eun shuddered all over. She couldn’t even breathe properly now. She wanted to get out of this weird dream as soon as possible.

“Tae-eun, do you want some?”

Ha Sung-joo, with his clear forehead, reached out with his black hair. Tae-eun tried to back away, but she still couldn’t wake up from the dream.

Knock, knock.

Someone knocked on the meeting room door, but Ha Sung-joo continued to stare at her with bulging eyes. Tae-eun could barely move her eyes to look toward the door.

The door opened, and straw-colored hair appeared first. And…

“Oops!”

Song Tae-eun woke up in the dark room again. But she immediately closed her eyes tightly. She couldn’t open them again because she was afraid Ha Sung-joo might be right in front of her, offering his hair once more.

Even the air touching her face felt cold. Although she had turned on the heater and even put an electric blanket on the bed to make it warm, there seemed to be a draft. She tightly closed her eyes and flipped the blanket over her head. She curled up on the bed like a fetus.

A coolness tickled her nose, waking her from a light doze. Something soft kept brushing against her and then dropping away.

When it stayed for a while, the bridge of her nose that it touched became slightly warm. Although she found it a bit strange even in her sleep, it momentarily stopped falling and then touched her again.

Other than the difference in temperature, it was similar to when Dodam licked her. The furrowed brow of her face relaxed.

Finally, she felt a little relieved. She fell into a deep sleep.

***

Song Tae-eun stepped out for a walk with the dog, wearing a troubled expression. Contrary to the forecast of mild weather, Jeju Island was still windy.

Walking the dog twice a day was her only assigned task. As long as she came back from the walk, her parents wouldn’t say anything even if she stayed in her room all day. That’s why, despite the lingering remnants of her dream, she put on her sneakers and headed outside.

“Oh, right.”

While waiting for the pedestrian signal to change at the crosswalk, a sudden realization flashed through her mind.

“I forgot to sprinkle salt….”

After visiting the café that was remodeled yesterday, she was supposed to sprinkle salt on herself, but she forgot and went straight home. Maybe that’s why she felt pressure on her chest last night.

Tae-eun’s body trembled. It felt like she could hear the crunching sound near her ear.

She turned slowly as she led the dog across the road, deliberately avoiding looking across the street. She guided the dog to simply sniff the recycling bin as they passed by.

“Hey, Song Tae-eun.”

But the dog resisted, standing still and gazing longingly at the café across the street. Despite her firm tug on the leash, all she got was a whimper in response.

“Hello.”

A deep voice greeted the dog from the opposite side of the four-lane road. Dodam’s tail wagged like a helicopter rotor.

Tae-eun turned slowly. The café owner, without wearing a coat in this cold weather, came out with a broom and dustpan. His thick blonde hair caught her attention. She had seen similar hair in her dream yesterday…

“Hello.”

The man greeted her. She hesitated, her eyes hovering around his chin as she awkwardly nodded. She couldn’t muster the courage to speak.

“Would you like some coffee?”

Tae-eun’s eyes widened. It was already past eight, yet the man was offering coffee again as if it were free.

Feeling embarrassed for having drunk coffee early in the morning before it even opened yesterday and forgetting to sprinkle salt, she hesitated, knowing that it wouldn’t be good for business if she caused any trouble.

And… it wouldn’t be good if that thing kept haunting her.

“No, it’s okay.”

Dodam ran ahead, leaving her behind. Tae-eun, holding the leash, was dragged along by the weight of her 15-kilogram dog.

The dog, having marked its territory on the café’s wall, headed straight for the grassy area. She nodded repeatedly to the man, trying to signal that she needed to go inside to pick up Dodam.

“How did you like the coffee?”

Tae-eun, standing awkwardly, raised the corners of her mouth towards the man’s chin. It was hard to tell if it looked natural.

“It was really good. I don’t like coffee that’s too acidic, but the coffee here has a mild acidity and a rich flavor that I liked. Of course, I’m not just saying this because you gave it to me for free.”

She spoke quickly without pausing for breath. The man’s mouth gradually curved into a round shape.

“Would you like to try a latte today?”

“What?”

Surprised, she raised her gaze unintentionally. Under the sunlight, the man’s eyes looked brighter.

“Do you dislike lattes?”

“No, it’s not that, it’s just… about the payment…”

Tae-eun fumbled in her pocket for her phone. But the man just smiled and shook his head.

“Just try it to see how it tastes. Think of it as a taste test since I’m new in the café business.”

While the first cup could be considered a celebration for the opening, it wasn’t the case for the second cup onwards. This time, she had to either pay or decline the free coffee.

“It’s a gesture to invite you to come often because your dog is cute.”

Ignoring Tae-eun’s attempt to pay, the man walked into the café. She looked at the dog, who was sniffing the grass, with a bewildered expression.

Despite being told that the gesture was to invite her to come often because of Dodam’s cuteness, the person didn’t even give the dog a proper glance.

“Hey, what should I do, Noona?”

Tae-eun crouched down, brushing the grass off Dodam’s fur as the dog looked up at her with a distressed expression.

Even though she was currently unemployed for five days now, having worked in society for five years prior, she could clearly see that the man’s kindness was excessive.

Whether his intention was simply to attract customers or something else, it felt like a heavy burden to her.

Right now, she was afraid of people in general. It was a time when she had to take care of herself alone, even if it meant hiding within her fragile shell. She had no room for social interaction with others.

“Thank you.”

Taking the warm paper cup offered by the man, she resolved to change the walking route from tomorrow onwards.

“Come again tomorrow.”

The man, who was taciturn yesterday, smiled brightly today. His sturdy defense barrier seemed to melt away with just one smile.

But she couldn’t return that smile.

***

“Is the salt okay?”

Byun-tae came into the house, having filled a tray with coarse salt and asked her daughter who hadn’t returned.

Tae-eun stood at the doorway and greeted her mother.

“Sprinkle it on me.”

“Did you go anywhere?”

“You know that crossroad with a haunted house next to the convenience store by the beach?”

While imagining a map in her head, Byun-tae seemed to remember something and approached her daughter. Surprised, Tae-eun held out her hands.

“Don’t come too close, Mom.”

“Do you know Min-jae’s friend?”

But Byun-tae continued without paying attention to her. Tae-eun’s lips pouted.

“Is this friend someone he’s close to?”

“You’ve seen him a lot, haven’t you? Why do you not know him? He’s your brother’s best friend.”

As she spoke, it seemed like a blurry face might come to mind. It wasn’t a clear memory, but there was a friend who often slept over at her house when she was young.

“He also has a younger brother who often came to our house. He played well with you. He even came to Min-jae’s wedding.”

During her brother’s wedding ceremony, she felt like she was suffocating in the crowd and spent the whole time hiding in the bathroom. She could only stick her head out when the ceremony was about to start.

“He’s about seven or eight years younger than you. And that brother is running a café in that house.”

“…Huh?”

Tae-eun blinked, trying to recall the memory. So, he was the younger brother with dyed blonde hair and piercings on his right ear, and he was the brother of her brother’s friend.

In conclusion, he had no connection with her at all.

He may have come to her house often, but she had no recollection. Moreover, if he was the younger brother, there would be quite an age difference between them, so they wouldn’t have attended the same school.

“Hurry up and sprinkle salt on me. I got my finger caught in scissors yesterday.”

“What?”

Byun-tae chuckled and sprinkled coarse salt on her daughter’s body. Only when all the salt in the tray was gone did Tae-eun cross the threshold with relief.

As Byun-tae entered the house, she remembered something and said, “Oh, his name is Hyun-ho. Ji Hyun-ho.”

 

 

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