Limits of Paradise

Tae-eun bit her lip hard, trembling slightly. His voice seemed to come from far away. She knew he was pushing her for an answer, but she couldn’t bring herself to respond aloud.

“I don’t want to…”

Just as she desperately wished to escape this dream, she woke up gasping for breath.

“Hah, hah, hah…”

Her rapid breathing filled the dark room. She hurriedly threw back the covers and sat up, turning on the lamp to cast a soothing yellow light around her bed. Sweat beaded on her forehead. She was breathing as hard as if she had just run a hundred meters. Her eyelids trembled slightly.

She hugged her knees to her chest and leaned against the wall. She tried to think of something else to drive away the remnants of the dream but her mind quickly filled with Ji Hyun-ho.

The man who tormented her ear, rubbed her lips, was rough below, and the one demanding to know who Ha Sung-joo was.

She suddenly wondered if, just like she seemed to act with free will in her dreams, he too could think, speak, and move independently.

If so, how long had he known that Ha Sung-joo was behind them in today’s dream?

Her breathing had just stabilized, but her heart was still fluttering wildly. She tossed her pillow far away, determined not to sleep anymore. She didn’t want to dream.

Since today was Sunday, she thought she might try to sleep again after daybreak. It was a relief that she didn’t have to see him right after such an unsettling dream.

Just then, her phone on the nightstand vibrated. Tae-eun’s shoulders tensed. It was just past two in the morning, and Ji Hyun-ho’s name flashed on the screen.

She hesitated as she reached for the phone. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to take his call, or if she was afraid he would press her as he had in the dream.

While she hesitated, the call ended and then rang again. Clearly, he wasn’t one to just let things go. She moistened her dry lips with her tongue and answered the phone.

“Hello?”

－Drink some water. Your throat sounds parched.

Cough, Tae-eun coughed softly and drank water from her tumbler. She hadn’t realized her throat was quite dry, and the water tasted surprisingly sweet.

－What are you doing? Sitting up?

She set down the empty tumbler and glanced around the room. Even though she knew it was unlikely, she felt as if he was watching her from somewhere.

－I’m sitting up. I don’t feel like sleeping.

Ji Hyun-ho’s voice was quite gentle. His deep, rough voice seemed even lower late at night, tickling her ears. It was much more subdued than the explicitly wielded tongue in her dream.

－Want to stay up with me all night?

“Why are you…?”

Without a moment to prepare, Tae-eun’s response came out pointedly. She knew she needed to separate the man from the dream from the man in reality, but the memory of how he had cornered her at the end of the dream kept her on edge.

－I’m worried I might torment you in your dreams again.

Tae-eun watched her own shadow formed by the yellow light, holding her breath. She could hear him breathing slowly. Her hand unconsciously gripped the comforter.

－But it’s boring being awake alone, so I thought I’d hang out with you.

“What are we supposed to do at this hour?”

－We could just chat.

She let out a soft laugh without realizing it. The idea of them chatting was quite unlikely.

－Want to play the balance game?

“What’s that?”

－You choose between two options. Want to start with an easy one?

A game out of the blue in the middle of the night. She agreed without really knowing what she was getting into.

－If you go on a vacation, would you prefer a relaxing resort or a sightseeing spot with lots of attractions? Choose one.

“Um… a resort?”

－I thought you’d say that. That’s how you play. Ready for a tougher question?

Hyun-ho’s voice deepened as he chuckled, prompting Tae-eun to sit up straight.

－Wash your face with the water you brushed your teeth in, or brush your teeth with the water you washed your face in.

“What?”

Tae-eun gasped, horrified, and hated herself for seriously considering the question for a moment.

－Choose quickly.

“…I’ll brush my teeth with the water I washed my face in.”

－Why?

“It seems like it would hurt if toothpaste got in my eyes.”

Laughter came from the other side of the phone. She quickly lowered the call volume while checking for any sounds outside her room. It was quiet enough inside the house that his voice over the phone seemed loud.

－Next question: a romantic partner with hundreds of friends or one with none at all.

This was an easy one. The former described her father and brother, and the latter was herself. From her perspective, life with someone who had many friends seemed exhausting.

“A guy with no friends. I don’t have any friends either, so I’d rather my partner didn’t have any.”

－Ah, so you prefer that you both only have eyes for each other. Next question.

Tae-eun’s curiosity was piqued, and she realized she was enjoying the game more than she thought. Thoughts of the nightmare had long since faded.

－Being intimate ten times a day with the person you love, or once a year.

“What do you mean by ten times a day?”

Sex.

Her face flushed with heat. She thought to herself how mischievously gentle he was being, almost like whipped cream.

“Once a year.”

－Really?

Hyun-ho sounded incredulous. She slightly turned down the thermostat; it was a bit warm.

－Do you believe in platonic love? How can you live like that, having sex only once a year when the person you love is right in front of you?

“Why are you criticizing my opinion?”

She pouted her lips and grumbled. She was annoyed by his heated arguments.

－It’s a bit hard to respect that choice.

“Isn’t ten times a day too weird? That sounds like it would hurt…”

She furrowed her brows, seriously contemplating her response before shutting up. Why was she even worrying and frowning over this?

－You haven’t even tried it.

A snickering sound came from the other side of the phone. She clenched her fist inside the blanket, indignant.

“So what, have you tried it?”

－No, I haven’t.

His voice lifted playfully at the end. Both were inexperienced, yet his attitude of pretending to know everything was irritating.

－Still, I’d choose ten times a day.

Hyun-ho firmly insisted, his voice deepening as he backed his argument.

－Rather than just once a year, it’s better to go until you’re raw. I’ll make sure my scent clings to the one I love until they’re completely drenched and bursting.

Suddenly, Tae-eun realized she was holding her breath. She became aware that their chat had taken a bizarre turn, but it was too late to steer it back.

－Then I’ll have to be diligent.

An image of herself smelling of perfume unexpectedly popped into her head. She shook her head frantically, thinking it was strange to be having such explicit conversations this late at night.

“Let’s move on to the next question.”

He cleared his throat as if pondering the next question. She fiddled with her fingers, listening intently.

－Camellia or cypress tree.

This question was easier.

“Camellia.”

－Good. Let’s go see camellias when the weather gets better.

“What?”

Her eyes widened. She couldn’t understand why he, who usually took the only day off the café was closed, wanted to meet her again, nor could she understand why her heart raced at his suggestion to go see flowers.

－You said you liked camellias. It’s our day off today. I’ll come to pick you up by eleven.

Tae-eun’s lips parted in surprise. She had never had such experiences with men, but anyone could see his intentions were clear. A special connection that shared the same dreams, the two kisses that followed, and now, this was a request for a date.

－You can’t run away.

Hyun-ho’s voice carried a hint of laughter as a warning. She clutched the thick duvet and nodded, then realizing they were still on the call, she quickly spoke up.

“Okay.”

－Eleven o’clock tomorrow. Now, lie down on your bed.

She did as he instructed, pulling the pillow she had thrown at the foot of her bed back to her head. The rustling of fabric over the phone suggested that he, too, was lying down on his bed.

－Don’t hang up; let’s set the alarm for ten.

“Okay.”

She moved the phone away from her ear to set the alarm. Her fingers twitched as she set the time, adjusting it to nine instead of ten—just in case she needed to wake up a bit earlier.

－Did you set the alarm?

“Yes.”

－Good job. Wear something warm tomorrow. Wear that scarf you had on last time.

“Okay.”

－Don’t you have gloves?

“No.”

－That’s okay. You can hold my hand.

Tae-eun pulled the blanket down to her stomach. Despite having adjusted the electric blanket earlier, she still felt an intense warmth. The phone was now emitting its own warmth. Mostly, Hyun-ho asked questions, and she responded with short answers.

The call that had started just after two in the morning lasted until nearly five. She knew the time without looking at the clock because that’s when her parents usually woke up.

As soon as she heard her parents stirring, their call ended. She covered herself with the blanket, hiding her flushed face from the early morning light. She felt even more embarrassed now than she had been during their first kiss.

The alarm set for nine turned out to be unnecessary. She lay awake in bed with her eyes wide open all night.

 

 

🍉🍉🍉