Episode 93

Before heading back to the southern border after our retreat, Vitrain had asked me a question.

Did he still have a chance to be chosen by me?

At the time, I had answered that I wouldn’t choose anyone until he returned.

He had smiled knowingly, as though he could see right through me, and asked again: wasn’t it that I had no intention of choosing anyone at all?

I couldn’t admit the truth, but I also couldn’t lie and deny it.

So, the answer I gave him was an ambiguous truth.

“Feelings change.”

Feelings change.

I had planned to tread carefully between the three beasts until Lothania awakened, but perhaps Vitrain had noticed the shift in my heart before I even realized it myself.

Only now did I understand why Vitrain’s smile, when he said it was fine, had seemed so tinged with sorrow.

“What did the Duke of Kidmillan say to you?”

Aiden, noticing my somber expression, shot a glare at Vitrain’s retreating figure as he asked.

I let out a small laugh and replied, “It seems you and I were the only ones unaware my feelings had changed.”

“Pardon?”

Aiden turned to me, tilting his head in confusion.

When did it start? When did I begin to find that fierce face endearing?

I thought it was just human fondness.

How could I not like him? He saved me, protected me.

A man destined to be my daughter’s dog, in the complicated situation of being a widowed empress with a young stepdaughter—leaving all of that aside, I simply liked him.

These eyes, the warmth of his hands, the defiant tenderness that had once felt improper.

Looking back, he was always there, so much so that I never stopped to consider the nature of these emotions.

“Your Majesty?”

Aiden seemed concerned by my prolonged silence. He gave my hand a small shake, gently trying to bring me back to the present.

What do I want to be to this man? Can I even be anything?

I am the Empress of Belpator, the one who must protect both Lothania and this empire. Do I even have the right to like someone?

When I still didn’t respond, Aiden bent down to meet my gaze, studying my face intently.

Up close, his crimson eyes were even softer in color than I had realized.

“Are you all right? Shall I summon the palace physician?”

“I’m fine.”

I avoided his gaze and started walking.

My heart was already in turmoil, but having Aiden’s face so close had sent it racing uncontrollably.

Whether I was fine or not, I wasn’t entirely sure.

Right now, all I could think was how much I wished I could hold onto this hand forever.

Whether he was escorting me or I was being guided, I couldn’t tell, but Aiden matched my pace, walking beside me as we held hands.

The thought that this was the first time I’d ever fallen for someone left me quietly exhilarated the entire way back to the main palace.

When we arrived at the office, Lothania and Melbrid were standing side by side, waiting.

Lothania’s expression was unusually somber—it was clear she’d heard the news that Melbrid would be sent away.

I let go of Aiden’s hand quietly.

Having just made the decision to separate the two children, I couldn’t stand before Lothania while still holding onto Aiden’s hand.

“Lottie, Melbrid. Come in. I was just about to call for you.”

I led them into the office.

Having concluded the discussion with Lian, it was now time to talk to Melbrid.

But as they sat side by side on the sofa, both looking utterly dejected, I found myself unable to speak.

I took a deep breath to gather my resolve, but before I could say anything, Lothania, who had been glancing nervously at Melbrid while fidgeting with her fingers, seemed to come to a decision and looked up.

“Mother, I have a request.”

“Go ahead.”

“Please hire Mel as a servant in the palace.”

“Pardon?”

Her completely unexpected request left me asking for clarification.

Melbrid, already sitting with a forlorn expression, lowered his head as if ashamed. Lothania, her frustration evident, continued.

“Mel says he’s willing to give up his title and all the wealth of the Zernia Duchy. He won’t take anything the snake—no, Lian Zernia—gave him.”

I looked at Melbrid, sharing Lothania’s exasperation.

When he had said he wouldn’t return to the Count of Ritein’s estate, I had guessed he was prepared to relinquish his title.

Still, knowing Lian had already transferred the duchy’s wealth to him had given me some relief. But now he wanted to give even that up?

How could a twelve-year-old be so unwavering?

If I sent him out into the world with nothing, how could I possibly sleep at night?

Seeing my dumbfounded expression, Lothania clung to me even more desperately.

“How is he supposed to live with no status and no money? He’ll starve or freeze to death somewhere! Mother, even the snake who committed crimes is still alive. Mel can’t die!”

“Of course not, Lottie. Melbrid, think this through. The world is harsher than you realize.”

“This stubborn fool won’t listen no matter what I say! So please, Mother, hire him as a servant in the palace. At least then he won’t die out there.”

My clever daughter had presented what she believed to be the best solution.

If we kept Melbrid as a servant, there would be no need to worry about him dying in some faraway place.

But my intention had been to separate him from Lothania.

I had hoped that creating both physical and emotional distance between them would ease the pain of any tragedy they might face in the future.

Yet as I met my daughter’s anxious gaze, awaiting my answer, I understood her heart.

Lothania didn’t want to let Melbrid go. She wanted to keep him close, to stay by his side.

And I had just realized, moments ago, what those feelings meant.

“Lottie…”

I called her name but couldn’t bring myself to say anything more.

It was Melbrid, who had been silently lowering his head the whole time, that finally spoke. His voice trembled as he said,

“I don’t expect to become a royal attendant, Your Majesty. I would gladly take on menial tasks. I’ll become the lowliest servant in the palace and atone for my brother’s sins.”

His pale violet eyes shimmered with unshed tears.

Melbrid had come to me, having thought of a way to seek forgiveness on his brother’s behalf.

What had Lian done to these children?

And what had I been about to do to them?

Claiming to act for Lothania’s sake, I hadn’t spared a thought for her true feelings.

Even now, Lothania kept glancing at my face, worried that she might have upset me.

I had used the excuse of an unspoken tragedy that might occur someday, completely ignoring how much pain the children were already in.

I felt so ashamed that I couldn’t meet their eyes.

“Aiden, summon Tito for me.”

Until the chamberlain arrived, the room remained steeped in silence and tension.

When Tito finally entered, he bowed deeply, his face marked by nervousness.

“Your Majesty, you called for me?”

“Tito, Melbrid will begin working in the palace starting today.”

As a rule, royal attendants serving the imperial family were required to be of noble status.

Since Melbrid was now a commoner, he would become a servant under the palace staff, performing the menial tasks he had mentioned.

The elderly chamberlain looked troubled, but Melbrid shot to his feet and bowed.

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

A boy who had done nothing wrong was reduced from the son of a duke to a palace servant overnight, yet he thanked me.

These twelve-year-old children made me feel deeply ashamed.

“Tito, he’s a clever child. He’ll be of use. Take care of him well.”

It was my way of asking the chamberlain not to give Melbrid tasks that were too harsh.

The kind-hearted Tito nodded and led Melbrid away.

Lothania watched Melbrid leave, fidgeting in her seat, but she didn’t follow him.

Once the office door closed, Lothania turned to me, her face visibly lighter, and said,

“Thank you for granting my request, Mother.”

In truth, the real master of this palace and of Belpator was not me, but Lothania.

I was merely standing in for her until she awakened.

If Lothania insisted on keeping Melbrid by her side, I had no real authority to stop her.

And yet, Lothania had observed my feelings, sought my permission, and even thanked me.

I moved to sit beside her and offered an apology.

“Lottie, I’m sorry. I should have understood your feelings first, but I didn’t.”

“What? No, Mother, it’s fine. I was the one being stubborn.”

“No, Lottie. You weren’t being stubborn. You’re going to keep finding the wisest answers, and I trust you completely.”

With those words, I pulled her into a tight embrace. Lothania nestled into my arms and hugged me back with all her might.

Even if Lothania were to learn the truth about what Lian had done, I believed she and Melbrid would be okay.

Their hearts weren’t as young as I had assumed.

When Lothania faced the pain of discovering the truth about her father’s death, the person who would stand by her side wasn’t anyone else—it was Melbrid.

Just as Aiden had been that person for me, Lothania and Melbrid were “the one holding each other’s hand.”