Episode 21

There seemed to be no clock in the dining room, as not even the sound of a ticking second hand could be heard.

Neither I, who had finished eating, nor he, who had lost his appetite, were touching the tableware. The silence was suffocating.

I turned my head slightly to look at Apollion’s face.

The mask was tinged with the crimson hue of the sunset. Seeing him like this, I thought the title “Hero of the Battlefield,” which he earned in the monster subjugation wars, suited him quite well.

‘Why hasn’t he run away yet?’

It was strange when I thought about it. He was deeply afraid of being alone with me. Even earlier, when he first entered the dining room, hadn’t he tried to back out immediately?

‘Does he have something to say to me?’

The only reason he would stay in this room seemed to be because he had something to say.

Just as I stayed to apologize to him, it seemed he was waiting to say something to me as well.

Yes, if not now, when would we get a chance to talk? With no one around to interrupt, now was the perfect opportunity to apologize to him.

“Apollion.”

He flinched.

He moved slightly, but unlike before, he didn’t jump out of his skin. Instead, he even raised his head to look at me.

I was so moved I almost covered my mouth. It felt like watching a wounded stray dog (not that I was calling him a dog) open up to a new person.

‘Teacher, I think I’ve succeeded in training…!’

I mentally thanked whoever it was who might be my teacher. I never thought watching all those behavior correction programs for kids and pets would help me this much.

I tried to hide my excitement and spoke to Apollion.

“Um… I’m sorry. I mean, I’m still sorry.”

“…”

Why? Why is he more startled now?

He looked more shocked than when he first entered the dining room, and I rolled my eyes around nervously. Was it wrong for me to apologize?

“Did I surprise you? I’m sorry. I apologize.”

“…”

No, don’t be surprised. Please, don’t be surprised!

Seeing him frozen like a statue, his pupils darting around, made me break out in a cold sweat.

For some reason, he was sweating too.

Was it like Pavlov’s dog? Like how a dog salivates when a bell rings, does he get scared when I speak for too long?

To avoid further scaring him, I started talking in the gentlest tone possible.

“Even if it’s a duty, if you don’t want to do it, you shouldn’t be forced to.”

“…”

“Do you remember what I said when you asked me not to take off your mask?”

“…”

“I said that forcing someone to do something they don’t want to do is wrong. Yesterday, I was exactly like that. Blinded by the bridal night, I recklessly approached you.”

In truth, the duty of consummation didn’t even cross my mind. I was just blinded by desire.

“I’m really sorry for not considering your feelings. I also apologize for getting angry when things didn’t go my way.”

“…”

“…I just wanted to say this, so you can relax now. Haha.”

It was done. I felt like I might have ruined the mood a bit, but at least I had accomplished my goal of apologizing.

Apologies shouldn’t be rushed like unfinished homework, but I figured I might not get another chance.

I glanced at him to see his reaction. He was still frozen, the same as before.

I decided to be patient and wait.

If he left now, there was nothing more I could do.

Time passed slowly. What felt like a short while dragged on endlessly.

“Why… are you apologizing?”

“Huh?”

His unexpected words left me stunned. Did I hear him wrong?

“You… haven’t done anything wrong.”

“….”

“Of course… I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised.”

I knew it, but hearing it from him felt like a final confirmation, and it hurt.

“But if anyone is at fault, it’s me for not fulfilling the bridal duty, not you.”

“….”

“So, you don’t need to seek my forgiveness.”

“Apollion…”

Oh… I was touched…

What had happened in the short time since our last encounter? How had he grown so much that he could say something like that?

As expected of the best male lead… his comprehension and understanding were exceptional. And his heart was as vast as the ocean…

Maybe living near the sea made his heart as expansive as the ocean?

No wonder the staff at Pontus Mansion were all so kind. It must have been the influence of the sea in front of the mansion.

I thought Emma and Wilson’s plan had ruined everything, but it turned out better than I expected.

With this atmosphere, it seemed possible to have a deeper conversation.

My positive mindset, without my permission, shattered my negative thoughts and began spinning like a well-tuned top.

Why not strike while the iron is hot? Ancient wisdom comes from the ancestors’ knowledge, and their wisdom has never been wrong.

‘Great! I’ll just go for it!’

The negative thoughts, shattered in a corner, whimpered, but I couldn’t hear them.

“Um, Apollion.”

“…Yes?”

I tried to bring it up naturally so he wouldn’t be startled.

“You said you don’t dislike me.”

“…That’s correct.”

“I don’t dislike you either.”

“…”

“So, you don’t have to feel uncomfortable around me. I wouldn’t feel bad if you held my hand or hugged me.”

I would actually love it. So, feel free to touch me.

I swallowed the last words and looked at Apollion gently.

“Hold… hold hands! I mean, hug?”

Unlike my calm self, Apollion stuttered and fidgeted. His hands fluttered like a penguin’s flippers, unsure where to go.

“…Did say hug you just now? It’s just a figure of speech.”

The sunset had long since faded, and the once blazing sun had dipped below the horizon. Yet, his ears and neck still bore the red hue of the setting sun.

“Of course, if you don’t want to, I won’t force it. But,”

Apollion tightened his grip on the table.

“If you don’t mind but avoid me thinking I might feel uncomfortable,”

“…”

“That’s absolutely ridiculous and impossible, so don’t misunderstand.”

“…”

“I don’t find you unpleasant at all.”

I looked at him, hoping for a response. His startled heart seemed to calm down, and his eyes gradually stopped darting around.

“…You don’t find me unpleasant?”

“Yes.”

Unpleasant? When I’m with you, I feel refreshed.

He nervously licked his lips before continuing.

“I don’t think you are unaware of the rumors about me.”

“….”

His words suddenly made my nose sting with emotion.

Oh, this is heart-wrenching. How fitting for someone living by the sea.

“…Everyone in the world avoids even touching me. But my wife, who not only married me but has to live with me… How much more must she detest me?”

“…”

“Rather than worrying that my curse might spread to you, you’d be better off-”

“It doesn’t spread.”

“…”

“Why would the person who knows that best lie?”

His words, which hurt himself, pained me deeply.

I knew this lie was a form of self-defense. It’s easier to hurt yourself first than be hurt by others.

But this kind of self-loathing only makes you shrink further into yourself.

I met Apollion’s eyes, which were as deep as anemones. He looked back at me with tear-filled eyes.

Hey, why are you about to cry? It breaks my heart to see that.

I thought about handing him a napkin but decided to pretend I didn’t notice. No noble wants to show tears in front of others.

So, I just stared down at the tableware in front of me. The sauce on my plate had already dried up.

How much time had passed? Apollion spoke again, his voice still trembling.

“I heard you were originally betrothed to the heir of the Quentin Marquiste.”

Surprised by the unexpected topic, I looked up at him.

Was it just my imagination, or could I predict what he was going to say next? Feeling uneasy, I cautiously replied.

“…And?”

“If you have someone else in your heart, you don’t have to trouble yourself for my sake.”

“Wait, what are you talking about?”

His words were so absurd that I stood up abruptly. I hoped I was wrong, but…

“Aren’t you in love with Lord Sonode?”

That dreadful moment arrived.

“…We broke off the engagement, didn’t we?”

I felt a sharp pang at the back of my neck.

Sure, the real Petunia might have loved Sonode.

But I didn’t. I wasn’t foolish enough to love someone who wasn’t worth recycling.

“Didn’t you marry me to take revenge on Lord Sonode?”

Oh, Jesus.

“Who told you that?”

“…”

“Which idiot spread such nonsense?”

I leaned towards him, almost ready to climb onto the table.

“Is… Is that not true?”

“Do you think it is?”

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration.

Rage and regret surged through me simultaneously. I should have killed Sonode before the wedding.

The absurdity of it all left me speechless. My hands, gripping the table, began to shake.

“…Madam?”

“…”

“Pe-Petunia?”

Apollion called out to me, looking pitiful.