Episode 19

I went along with Emma’s endless chatter while scanning the books on the shelves.

Most of the library was filled with literary works like novels and poetry.

I was grateful that there weren’t any math textbooks or law books.

After reading so many study guides, just seeing books with a teaching tone made me sick. Seeing anything resembling those study guides made my skin crawl.

Dreaded TOEIC, Korean history, and that tiresome introduction to public administration!

If anyone told me to devote myself to academics, I’d probably punch them right in the stomach. After all, I’d spent nearly 20 years of my life studying.

That’s why I was so stressed about preparing for the civil service exam and thoroughly enjoying this world’s cozy and luxurious life.

But now, with Lady Claire’s handover looming, my carefree days would be short-lived, and the happiness would end. Hard work would begin. The thought of returning to studies after a break filled me with sudden fatigue.

I began organizing the books I’d taken out to hurry back to my bedroom.

As I was about to place the last book back on the shelf, one title caught my attention.

 

*”Curious About Our Child? – Sex”*

 

‘Why? Why is this book here?’

A sense of déjà vu hit me again.

Like a salmon swimming upstream, I dug into my childhood memories.

I didn’t have to go too far. There was a book vividly imprinted in my mind with a very similar title.

Instinct is instinct, and curiosity is curiosity, even for a child.

That book, which taught kids about sex through comics, had its cover frayed and worn from being well-loved by many children.

The book before me now was similarly tattered at the corners.

I was about to reach for the book but remembered Emma was standing beside me.

I leaned against the shelf, holding an unorganized book and flipping through it.

“Emma, can I stay here and read for a bit?”

“Oh, of course! As the lady of the estate, you can use the library however you like.”

“Thank you.”

I put on a refined smile while pretending to read.

“If I keep talking here, I’ll only distract you. I’ll take my leave.”

“Alright. Come get me around dinner.”

“Understood. The Duke will join us for dinner, so I’ll come find you once the meal is ready.”

“Great.”

Emma gave a small nod before hurrying out of the library.

Once I confirmed she was gone, I took the book that had caught my attention off the shelf.

 

*”Curious About Our Child? – Sex”*

The book didn’t appear too old, but the well-worn cover showed signs of frequent handling.

Its interior was also tattered. The threads binding the pages were frayed, and some pages showed signs of tearing—likely the pages with crucial information.

Whether in Korea or here, curious kids seemed universally sly, going so far as to tear pages for secrecy.

I had been one of those kids, too.

I chuckled as I flipped through the book.

Aimed at children, it featured large fonts and cute illustrations throughout.

The content was equally adorable.

It covered topics like puberty, secondary sex characteristics, bodily changes in males and females, and how babies are made.

The Ignitus Empire was more advanced in medicine and engineering compared to other nations.

Because they lacked magic users to rely on, they put their focus on developing technology within the realm of ordinary humans.

So, *Curious About Our Child? – Sex* contained detailed explanations of biology that were very similar to what I’d learned in the 21st century.

However, its explanation of pregnancy and childbirth was rudimentary.

While understandable given the book’s audience, it only provided the predictable and simple explanation that the mother’s egg meets the father’s sperm, and after about nine months, a baby magically appears.

But for curious rascals like me, that wasn’t the real question.

“So how do the egg and sperm actually meet?”

A primal question born of curiosity.

When I asked my mom, she told me to ask my dad, who told me to ask my mom…

Always having had a stubborn streak, I shrieked at my parents, who kept passing the buck.

“If you don’t know, how did you have me?”

I must have been around ten years old then.

I’ll never forget the look on my parents’ faces as they stared at me, mouths half-open.

Having learned nothing from them, I found out about the meeting of egg and sperm through a video.

Of course, it wasn’t part of a proper educational process.

It was my first school trip. A friend gathered everyone in the room to show us something “interesting,” and we all crowded around the screen, mesmerized.

It was then that I learned the very physical and carnal way the egg and sperm could meet.

…Wait, wasn’t I recalling fond childhood memories? Why did this story end on such a bitter note?

To snap myself out of it, I slapped my cheeks with a sharp sound. This wasn’t the time to get lost in such thoughts.

Having read all kinds of explicit novels and gained vast knowledge about sex, there was no way a book like this, suitable for snot-nosed kids, could interest me.

There was only one reason I was reading this book.

Apollion Theabrite.

He was shy, extremely ascetic, and very closed off.

It’s often said that tailored education and differentiated learning are important for everyone.

To provide that, I needed to understand the kind of environment and education he had received.

However, the thought that Apollion might have received his entire sexual education from this book made me sigh deeply.

‘Where did it go wrong with this man?’

If Apollion had learned everything from this single book, there would be a major problem.

I’d have to teach him everything from A to Z, except what he already knew.

Yet, nobles in this world tended to marry relatively early.

At 18 by this world’s standards—19 in Korean age—one was considered a full adult, and it wasn’t uncommon to find people with children by age 20.

In Korea, 20-year-olds were still in their infancy, just like chicks chirping as college freshmen.

As an old-timer, I often watched them fondly and thought, ‘I was like that too..’ while reminiscing about the past. Of course, if the professors saw me like that, they’d likely snicker.

Regardless, Apollion was the noblest of nobles. He must have received a high standard of sexual education from a young age to ensure a suitable heir.

Given that people here married relatively young and his duty was to produce an heir, he wouldn’t have learned from a mere child’s book.

In the original story, Apollion was described as a virile male lead. Although a little awkward at first in the explicit side story, his prowess was detailed quite thoroughly.

From that, it seemed he wasn’t entirely ignorant about sex.

He even became more proficient over time.

I thought about the previous night, which had been heated in many ways.

He seemed to understand exactly what I was trying to do. That must have been why he tried to escape.

His body changes and how embarrassed he was by them…

Well, yes. He’s not entirely ignorant.

So, he knows the basics.

‘Where should I even begin?’

Should I start by unlocking his closed-off mindset?

Convincing him verbally seemed like a lost cause.

Even emphasizing that it’s an important rite of passage as an Imperial citizen and a marital duty hadn’t worked.

I’d even tried playing the pitiful card to tug at his compassionate nature, but that didn’t work either.

Somehow, his scared-rabbit expression just ended up making me feel guilty.

‘Visual temptation seems to be somewhat effective…’

But that only affected his physical state. It wasn’t enough to break his strong mental resistance.

When I asked if he disliked me, he said he didn’t. I don’t believe he was lying.

I knew that he was avoiding me because he was trying to be considerate.

In the original story, Apollion avoided contact with others to an extreme.

His habit of being considerate toward others eventually took a toll on him.

The truth was, he longed for human warmth more than anyone.

His birth mother died young due to illness, and after he was cursed, everyone avoided him due to rumors that the curse could spread.

When even his father, the only one who loved him, passed away, Apollion was left completely isolated in this bleak world.

What followed was predictable.

Apollion’s personality became more closed off, and even a simple handshake became difficult for him.

The only person who grabbed Apollion’s hand without hesitation was the female protagonist.

Although he didn’t show it outwardly, he was deeply moved by her lack of fear, and he even shed secret tears.

He was undoubtedly afraid.

That I might find him repulsive, having been hastily married off; that I might scrub my hands after touching him. Yet I didn’t feel that way at all.

As my thoughts wandered this far, I felt a mix of pity and guilt for him.

I let out a small sigh and closed the book.

No matter how strong his emotional barriers were, we needed to have a conversation before anything else.

If we could understand each other through words, we’d understand each other through glances, and eventually, we’d develop a genuine bond. With that, his curse would naturally resolve itself.

I returned the book to its place and confidently left the library.

Apollion would join us for dinner tonight.

Even if nothing else happened, it was best to clear up small misunderstandings before they escalated into bigger issues.