Lan Ming Yue

Outrageous

In the dead of the night, candles were flickering.

Wang Dian opened his eyes strenuously, only to see a face that had a trail of tears and was about to weep. The person’s appearance was exquisite but slightly tired, then the person cried out sincerely, “Huang’er, you finally woke up.”

(t/n Huang’er- Emperor’s son; mode of address used by the emperor’s mother to address the emperor in historical dramas)

It’s just that the worry that didn’t reach the bottom of his eyes was superficial and artificial. Wang Dian remained silent for a few seconds and closed his eyes.

Damn it, why hasn’t he woken up from this dream yet?

Then pain came from his forehead. He had to open his eyes again, he then subconsciously stretched out his hand to touch it, but was held down by the woman, she probably wanted to express her anxiety, afterwards, she suddenly turned her head, “Yun Fu, quickly fetch the imperial physician!”

The hairpin rings all over her head, jingled, and the long tassels swung too hard, that it was caught on his eyelids.

“Huang’er, why are your eyes swollen?” The Empress Dowager covered her mouth in shock.

Wang Dian endured his irritability and took a deep breath.

“Reporting to the Empress Dowager, His Majesty’s pulse is strong and powerful.” The imperial physician tremblingly said in fear, “Even the previous head disease has recovered, and the wound on the forehead will heal within ten days.”

The astonishment on the Empress Dowager’s face was fleeting, and then she “wept with joy”, “Great, this is really great! God is merciful, the late Emperor blesses and protects.”

However, it was the hand that was secretly pinching his thigh hidden in the sleeve that Wang Dian had focused his attention to.

A palace maidservant carrying a medicine bowl passed it to the Empress Dowager. Seeing that the woman was about to deliver the hot traditional Chinese medicine to his mouth, Wang Dian immediately sat up from the bed.

The Empress Dowager who was holding the medicine trembled twice without a trace, while the palace maid knelt down on the ground with a “bang”, and the little eunuch that held the senile imperial physician trembled, then they knelt down and kowtowed without holding back, “Your Majesty, spare this one’s life! Your Majesty! Spare this one’s life!”

Wang Dian’s head was hurting. He felt that the dream was so detailed and cumbersome, and at the same time, he had a bad premonition in his heart. Before he could carefully ask, the imperial physician that was kowtowing on the side, cried, “It’s just that His Majesty is overworked dealing with state affairs. Hyperactivity of fire due to yin deficiency, disharmony of spleen and stomach, and damage of liver and kidney essence, all that needs to be done is to recuperate carefully! Your Majesty, spare this one’s life!”

(t/n Hyperactivity of fire due to yin deficiency refers to the deficiency of yin fluid, hyperactivity of asthenic fire, and hyperactivity of yang due to yin deficiency, which turns into asthenic fire, resulting in upset and insomnia, dry mouth and throat, night sweats, nocturnal emission, hypersexuality, flushing of cheekbones, short yellow urine, and dry stool , or hemoptysis, epistaxis, or tongue, oral ulcers, red tongue with little fluid, pulse breakdown and other common syndromes.)

To put it bluntly, it meant staying up late and staying up too much.

President Wang, who worked until two or three o’clock in the morning, always felt that this was not a big deal, but it was a big deal if it was so realistic in his dream. He looked around with a calm face and could not tell which dynasty’s architectural style was luxurious and magnificent. The incense burner carved with animals, auspicious clouds and flowing water had incense burning, and the candlelights were flickering gently, reflecting a few frightened and panicked faces.

He had already been changed to a loose and soft robe, but the faint scar on the back of his hand was still there, which made him feel relieved.

The body is still his own body.

It’s just that in the real world, I’m afraid no one would be so bored to act with him.

With anxiousness and doubt, the crowd saw the emperor scrutinized them for a long time, and said in a dark earnest voice, “What is this place?”

“Your Majesty, this is, this is your bedroom.” Yun Fu knelt on the ground and answered with a trembling voice.

“Huang’er, what’s wrong with you?” The empress dowager grabbed his hand again.

The warm touch made Wang Dian’s arms break out in fine goosebumps. He was silent for a while, “Then who am I?”

The palace maid and eunuch who had just lifted their head laid down on the ground again in horror.

“Huang’er is naturally the most honorable emperor in the Northern Liang Dynasty.” The empress dowager smiled dryly, thinking that he was telling them to weigh themselves when doing things, to not provoke those whom they couldn’t afford.

Wang Dian suppressed the astonishment and doubts in his heart, weighed the feasibility of a modern person pretending to be an emperor, then decisively chose another path, and said with a wooden face, “I have a headache, I can’t remember clearly.”

“Imperial Physician Li, how could this be!?” The empress dowager was probably really shocked this time, and the fingers grasping Wang Dian’s were too painful.

“Empress, His Majesty’s head suffered……a heavy blow,” Imperial Physician Li swallowed his saliva, and did not say that the emperor suddenly went crazy and hit himself on the head, “It may possibly be an amnesia.”

The Empress Dowager turned her head abruptly, this time Wang Dian was well prepared. As the tassels brushed his face, he flung his head over, narrowly escaping a catastrophe.

“My Huang’er——” the empress dowager took a breath, then plunged her head into his arms and began to cry, “My miserable Huang’er, I am your mother, I had you in my womb for ten months, why is life so bitter!”

“…..”

Wang Dian was forced to lift his chin by her gorgeous hairpin ring jewelry, and the dense smell of rouge powder that assailed his nose, choked him and made him cough violently.

“Your Majesty!”

“Empress Dowager!”

“Huang’er—”

Maybe this group of people really came to sing an opera, Wang Dian felt strangled and before his eyes, he saw black, and then he passed out again.

The so-called good things do not go out and bad things spread thousands of miles, the glorious deeds of the Northern Liang Emperor breaking open his head himself with a bottle in the meeting hall appeared as if it had wings, and spreaded all over the country.

(t/n Good things don’t go out, bad things spread thousands of miles (hǎo shì bù chū mén, è shì chuán qiān lǐ), The idiom explains that good things are not easy to be known for, but bad things spread very quickly; proverbs mean that ugly things are easier to spread than good things.)

Naturally, it reached Liang Ye’s ears.

The Northern Liang Emperor himself felt strange, “Did Zhen break open his head with a bottle?”

Chong Heng nodded solemnly, “Yes, it is said that Master lost his temper in the meeting hall.”

“Zhen never loses his temper.” Liang Ye said with a smile, “Have you ever seen someone more easy-going than Zhen?”

“…..”

Chong Heng twitched the corners of his mouth, “Master, move your feet, otherwise brain matter will splashed on your shoes. “

Liang Ye reluctantly pulled out his sword, and kicked away the body whose head had been crushed and sighed with emotion, “All mouths make gold.”

(t/n All mouths make gold-The power of describing public opinion cannot be underestimated; later it refers to many people talking nonsense, which is enough to confuse right and wrong.)

“Continuous slander can destroy people.” Chong Heng picked up the words quickly and neatly this time.

Liang Ye raised his eyebrows. Looking at the room full of bloody corpses inside, he then threw the half-wiped long sword on the ground, and leisurely walked out, “Burn it clean, it’s annoying to watch.”

“Yes.” Chong Heng then conscientiously started to set fire.

Liang Ye was almost scorched by the fire and got flustered, he folded his arms then asked, “Where did they get another Liang Ye?”

“I don’t know.” Chong Heng followed his example and folded his arms, “It’s maybe that they found someone with a similar face, maybe it was a disguise technique, or maybe the Empress Dowager kept a twin brother somewhere else without telling the Master.”

“Tsk.” Liang Ye was in a bad mood.

“Master, why don’t we go back and have a look?” Chong Heng urged him.

Liang Ye smiled coldly, “What’s so good about a counterfeit, won’t return.”

Chong Heng felt overwhelmed because things were too troublesome, “Master, if you don’t go back, you will become the counterfeit.”

Liang Ye wiped off the blood on his face in distaste, the profile of his face was illuminated by the fire light, which made people wonder what he was thinking.

But Chong Heng didn’t ponder about it clearly, and could only say dryly, “Master, my wife is still in the palace.”

“That’s not your wife.” Liang Ye tried to correct him.

“I like her.” Chong Heng said with a bitter face, “Master, I want to go back to the palace.”

“Then go back by yourself.” Liang Ye turned around and left.

“Later, the imperial physician came to take a look and said that you have kidney deficiency.” Chong Heng added after seeing this.

Liang Ye paused, turned his head in disbelief, “What did you say to me?” (TL: He stopped referring himself as “Zhen”)

“Kidney deficiency.” Chong Heng said firmly, “It is said that the deficiency is quite severe.”

Liang Ye said sadly, “Me deficient?” 

“This subordinate is not clear.” Chong Heng said with a serious face, “After Imperial Perceptor Wen heard the grievous news,  he fainted again.”

Liang Ye then leapt onto the horse.

“Master, where are we going?” Chong Heng asked him in the firelight.

“Back to the palace”

The two fast horses galloped away and disappeared into the thick night. In the mountains and forests, there were only flames soaring into the sky. The plaque of Piaoxue Villa fell from a high place and shattered into two pieces as it ignited.

****

Capital of the Liang Country, the Imperial Palace.

The emperor knocked himself and lost his memory with a bottle. No matter which country or dynasty this situation would be placed in, it would be a terrible thing. The courtiers would usually lament towards the heavens and knock one’s head on the ground while crying loudly, but the ministers of Northern Liang were beaming. There was no other reason, it was simply because of this superior His Majesty the Emperor, who hadn’t done anything serious for two years, finally started to devote himself to the affairs of the country!

His Majesty actually asked the people around him about the breach of the embankment!

God pities and protects us! When Old Imperial Perceptor Wen, who was over 80 years old, heard the good news, not caring to worry about His Majesty’s heirs anymore, forced his old bones all the way into the palace.

“This subject Wen Zong greets Your Majesty!” The old imperial preceptor was trembling on his crutches and was about to kneel down.

“No need.” Wang Dian quickly came out from behind the desk and supported him by the arms.

This old man had not yet retired even in his eighties, and he loved work even more than himself. What he admired most was people who love their work.

Wen Zong grabbed his arm and burst into old tears, “Thank you, Your Majesty.”

Wang Dian was particularly impressed by this white-bearded old man. After all, his voice was as loud as a bell among hundreds of people, and even seven or eight middle-aged men could not stop him from bumping into a pillar. Another example–when the old man grasped his arm just now, it ached. It could be seen that this grandpa was physically strong and healthy.

“Imperial Perceptor, I, Zhen,” Wang Dian cleared his throat, “have been muddle headed for the past few days, and can’t remember many things clearly, thus still needing the Imperial Perceptor to clear Zhen’s doubts.”

“This old minister will be sure to say all he knows!” Wen Zong looked at him as if he saw his own mud finally climbed up the wall, “What does Your Majesty not understand?”

(TL: Taken from “Mud cannot support the wall”-It usually implies that the said person is totally hopeless and incompetent that any effort trying to teach him or groom him for that position/skill is better spent on any other less useless activity. (Means Imperial Perceptor treats “Liang Ye” as his own mud that is hopeless and incompetent.)

The young emperor said solemnly, “Don’t understand everything.”

Wen Zong almost lost his breath and staggered back a few steps with Wang Dian.

Wang Dian hurriedly helped him to sit on the chair, and thought about it carefully. For such a scarce resource that existed like a mentor, one should not improperly use such a great talent, therefore he picked a key question, “The matter of the dike breaking in Yun river, Imperial Perceptor, who do you think is suitable to send?”

Wen Zong’s expression became serious, and he pondered for a moment then said, “Who does Your Majesty think should be sent?”

Wang Dian sneered and said, “Imperial Perceptor, Zhen doesn’t remember anything.”

To deal with this kind of old fox, he must not be led into the ditch by him. Moreover, at present, the various forces in the imperial court, including his current situation, were still unclear. After waking up, he simply muttered about the breaking of the dike in Yun river, then Wen Zong entered the palace not long after. It was inappropriate to act rashly.

However, according to common sense, natural disasters such as floods in ancient times should be a very serious matter. No matter how absurd the emperor was, he still had to ask symbolically, so as not to make the people suspicious——Wang Dian at this time was surprised, the absurdity of this Emperor Liang far exceeded his imagination.

“The person who is responsible for disaster relief should have the courage, integrity, and knowledge of water conservation. This subject thinks Baili Daren is the most appropriate person to send.” Wen Zong got up and answered.

“Imperial Perceptor makes sense.” Wang Dian, who didn’t even know who Baili Daren was, nodded, and then politely talked to him about disaster relief matters that he didn’t understand at all, then sent this great Buddha away. 

“Your Majesty, should this servant summon Baili Daren?” The little eunuch Yun Fu approached and asked.

Wang Dian glanced at his “personal little assistant”, and pondered for a while, “Not urgent, everyone says that I, that Zhen have finally returned to the palace, where did Zhen go before?”

Even if he looks exactly the same as the Emperor of Liang, the behavior and even the dressing habits must be quite different from each other. It’s outrageous that no one in this huge palace is suspicious.

Most importantly, when the real emperor comes back, this fake will be 100% finished.

“This servant doesn’t know.” Yun Fu immediately knelt down and kowtowed, and the eunuchs and maids who served beside him followed him and knelt all over the ground.

Wang Dian originally wanted to say they don’t need to kneel at all, but seeing how scared these people were of “himself”, he suspected that they’re used to it for a long time. His sudden refusal for them to kneel was a flaw, thus he could only suppress his discomfort and frowned then said. “You, when was the last time you saw Zhen?”

“Answering to Your Majesty, this servant served Your Majesty for dinner three months ago, Your Majesty said you was going to pick the moon from the clouds, but this servant never saw you again.” Yun Fu replied tremblingly.

“What about you?” He casually pointed to another maid.

“Answering to Your Majesty, the last time this servant saw Your Majesty was three and a half months ago, and you were planting sweet potatoes and green beans in the Imperial Garden.” The maid replied softly.

“…When this servant saw Your Majesty, you were drinking on the roof, cutting off the hair of this servant, and asking this servant to become a monk…”

“….Your Majesty was playing at the sand table at that time, and you said that you wanted to cede the territory to Loufan and wanted the princess to be your imperial concubine…”

“…Your Majesty said that Li’s head is too round, so the servants cut off his head, wu wu, Your majesty, spare this one’s life, Your Majesty, spare this one’s life!”

“…Your Majesty was going to send Imperial Perceptor Wen to Eastern Chen to be a son-in-law, but Imperial Perceptor Wen refuses to submit even unto death…”

(t/n Son-in-law; consort; prince consort, emperor’s son-in-law-In the Han Dynasty, there was the official position of “Prince Consort Captain”, who served as the emperor’s close servant and managed the horses that pulled the auxiliary chariot. After the Wei and Jin Dynasties, this official position was often held by the son-in-law of the emperor, so it became a special title for the son-in-law of the emperor.)

After listening to these people’s words, Wang Dian looked at the jade seal on the table with a stern face, as if he was afraid that others would not be able to steal it. On it, someone carved a cross-eyed tortoise with a knife.

This Emperor Liang was really a bit outrageous.