It’s My First Time Being Loved

It felt like a dark cloud was hanging over me.

 

Of course, I thought the name Anastasha itself was pretty.

 

But the problem was being a hero in this world.

 

“Anastasha, who saved the world, is respected, and will live happily ever after.”

 

Just by hearing mother’s tone, she didn’t seem to mean anything bad.

 

No, but it was the same with the parents of my previous life.

 

Because they all wanted something from me, so they named me heroe.

 

Is it because of the accumulation of power, or because they want to live in a world on the verge of extinction?

 

When I was born, there was a world where the oracle came down.

 

The 99th time, which was not long ago, was the same, and there were parents who were greedy in such a world and named after a famous hero.

 

They expected a lot from me and on the other hand they were very scared.

 

Therefore, at first, they often showed a happy face or pretended to be nice, but were soon eroded by fear and abused.

 

Just like I want to be confirmed that I’m powerless by my parents.

 

Of course, I was bothered and properly accommodated to their abuse.

 

But then they said I looked like a doll and hated it, so there were a lot of people who didn’t know which rhythm to follow.

 

‘But if you pretend to be too hard on their bullying, you’ll suspect the trust and slap them again.’

 

I didn’t really know if I wanted it to be nothing or a hero.

 

So, even if the moment I was born in this life was warm, I am vigilant, and made my mind to be vigilant again.

 

*

 

I used to say that…….

 

‘I was prepared to be named after a hero but….’

 

For a month since I was born, I’ve been puzzled by the unexpected calm flow of time.

 

Embarrassed for being vigilant, my family did nothing.

 

‘Usually it’s time for the priests to come and make a fuss.’

 

They have to prove my strength or they need to run tests.

 

Far from it, they were only showing unexpected behavior.

 

“Oh, my lady. Are you hungry? It’s me. I’ll be right back with your food!”

 

It was the maid’s reaction when I woke up and mumbled reflexively.

 

“Ah, I didn’t change your diaper very quickly? Gosh, I was bad. Let’s take a bath, our pretty youngest lady.”

 

No, I just twisted my body a little…….

 

To describe my childhood in one word, I would say neglect.

 

neglect, cold treatment, abuse.

 

So far I’ve had a time when I can express these words enough.

 

‘But you’re paying attention to my little moves?’

 

Ah, is it perhaps surveillance, not attention?

 

It was a little convincing thinking so.

 

‘As expected, if it’s not like that, there is no way they will stay at night.’

 

I was pleased to find the answer to what I was wondering these days.

 

There was always a person next to the cradle, as if it would be a big deal if they took their eyes off.

 

* * *

 

No matter how many times I think about it, my mother must have a wonderful power.

 

Otherwise, there is no way I can sleep like a normal baby every time I was patted like this.

 

Anyway…

 

It was dark around me when I opened my eyes, filled with stomach and put to sleep by my mother.

 

Of course, this room had a little light on it.

 

‘Huh, but it’s kind of dark.’

 

It’s not the first time I wake up in the middle of the night and I turn my head in wonder.

 

Gasp.

 

At that moment I was surprised.

 

There was a big mountain in front of the cradle.

 

‘Oh, no… it’s not a mountain.’

 

I blinked a few times and realized what it was.

 

It was none other than my father.

 

‘I thought the world was about to collapse.’

 

It was the first time that my father, who had a beast-like impression and a huge body, stood by the cradle in the middle of the night.

 

Well, I probably didn’t know because I was sleeping.

 

My mother’s pat had a really scary effect.

 

Anyway, knowing that it wasn’t a sign of destruction, I let out a small sigh without realizing it.

 

I couldn’t hear it unless I was really concentrating, but a big mountain, or my father, opened his mouth.

 

 “Our youngest, did you wake up?”

TL/N : He was talking cutesy here

 

Pardon?

 

I doubted my ears for a moment.

 

‘I must have heard it wrong.’

 

Maybe my ears are weird because I just woke up.

 

Isn’t that a word that doesn’t fit that big body?

 

But…

 

“Our youngest, aren’t you hungry? Should dad give you food? Or do you want me to change your diaper?”

 

Uh, uh…

 

What am I listening to now?

 

It was a cute tone-up voice that did not match the charismatic impression of a beast at first glance.

 

Of course, I’ve seen you shed tears since the first time we met but…

 

But this really doesn’t suits him…. 

 

Father…..

 

Maybe it’s because he’s faced with a situation that he didn’t even think about.

 

“Hiccup, Hicc.”

 

I’m really not surprised at all.

 

I’m not surprised at all!

 

The hiccups just popped out.

 

Regardless of the content, the body is just a baby.

 

“Oh, our youngest are you surprised? It’s dad, it’s not a scary man.”

 

No, why is my father crying again?

 

It’s not scary. It’s just, it’s just that it’s so dumbfounded.

 

Really…

 

“My Anastasia, did you forget my face because I haven’t seen you very often?”

 

No, what the hell do you think I am?

 

I felt endlessly unfair.

 

Even if you’re a baby, your eyes and hair are fine.

 

Maybe you forget the faces of your family, it’s not like it’s been a thousand years!

 

It was a very unfair misunderstanding.

 

However, my father seemed to think that the misunderstanding that I was scared was true.

 

My father hugged me with a whimper that he was upset about being scared – surprisingly very stable and skillful. 

 

The patting started.

 

“It’s okay. It’s my youngest, my dad. Dad, I’m not a scary person and I’m not a monster.”

 

“Hicc, hicc, hicc, hicc”

 

I’m really not scared….

 

I’m telling the truth.

 

Far from being a ferocious monster, it’s not scary at all and I can defeat them all.

 

Of course, I can’t say it now, but only when I grow up.

 

The baby’s body is so weak that if you use even a little bit of strength, it gets a little annoying.

 

But this desperate explanation…….

 

“Hing.”

 

The baby’s body, which is still a long way younger, betrayed me and whined.

 

It was so uncomfortable.

 

I tried to say something with my baby body, but I couldn’t even babble yet, It always sounds like crying.

 

‘I think this would be annoying…….’

 

Aren’t you whining because you’re here to take care of me?

 

I’ve always been a quiet baby even though I’ve been left unattended, but I’ve become even more resentful.

 

I feel like I’ve become a nuisance baby, regardless of my intentions.

 

“Oh, our youngest. Is the hiccup weird? It’s okay. It’s okay.”

 

But my father patted me down as if he understood everything.

 

At some point, when the hiccups naturally stopped, he carefully looked at me and even smiled brightly.

 

“Our youngest is great, she knows how to stop hiccups, she’s good at it.”

 

I started hiccups on my own, and it stopped over time, and you compliment it?

 

As expected, it was so strange.

 

‘Just in case… Don’t tell me you were born into a family of ridiculous pushovers….…?’

 

I was deeply troubled by my angelic father.

 

‘Yes, there was a person like that.’

 

You know, a case of humiliation for not being able to turn down a family request and grant a guarantee or something.

 

It might be a new case of hard work to commemorate the 100th life.

 

‘No, as long as you walk the path of hell as a warranty.….’

 

I’ve always been a teenager, but I knew very well how scary the warranty was.

 

My goal was to live here in moderation and then die so that I wouldn’t bother me.

 

Thanks to this, I felt a sense of duty to stay alert.

 

‘I don’t want to live a life that’s so busy worrying about debt and stopping it from leaking!’

 

I don’t know if you know my concern.

 

“Anastasha, our pretty youngest. You want me to put you to sleep now?”

 

My father said with an easygoing tone.