“I always longed for the affection”
“My mom suddenly said she was feeling down last weekend and suggested we go out to have some fun, so…”
“Did you watch the drama last week? I cried. The child was crying, saying they missed their mom…”
So, when I hear stories like this, I find myself involuntarily paying attention.
It was something I didn’t have.
A warm and harmonious family – what is that?
In my first life, I longed for such things.
Even though I was technically in a properly formed family.
We were just an ordinary family of four.
It was an ordinary family of four.
But my parents were the ones who thought of marriage and childbirth as one of life’s bucket lists.
They thought that It’s sad to only have one baby so they made two. That’s how my mother gave birth to my brother and me.
Fortunately my brother was good at everything, but I was only half as good.
Maybe that’s why my parents never forced me to do anything, they had no interest in me at all.
“Hey, cook me ramen.”
“I ate it all. Wash the dishes.”
My older brother used to take advantage of such indifference.
Well, I wasn’t passionate enough to ask my parents for their attention
So to me, my parents were like some bills on the table, and my brother was rather a helpful person without me.
Nevertheless, I liked people
I received the affection I lost from my friends.
“Let’s go to the movies, and let’s get our hair done too. Okay?”
“I found something delicious, let’s go!”
My friends recognized my clumsy affection which resembled my parents, it was blunt and indifferent, but they always held out their hands first.
Because of that, in the near moments of death at my first life, even though it was scary, I didn’t regret it
‘My family wouldn’t be sad anyway.’
Brother must’ve been disappointed that his little errand boy was gone.
“No, why, why me…!!”
I reflexively pushed my friend next to us when the crazy driving car that suddenly hit us.
I was relieved by the voice of my friend who cried at my last moment.
‘that’s a relief, you’re safe-.’
It’s because my friend has a sister, a younger sibling and parents who were proud of their mature daughter.
So at the age of almost twenty, I said goodbye to my first life without being able to fully enjoy the end of CSAT.
* * *
‘I would be really glad if that was the end’
I sighed and looked at the sight in front of me with bored eyes.
I was forced to die as many as ninety-nine times.
“I’m begging you like this. Only you, you’re the only one who needs to be sacrificed”
In my ninety-ninth life, my brother opened his mouth.
“Ok, I know. That we are shameless…! But everyone can’t die!”
Then my father opened his mouth.
“Oh, dear, I really don’t want to let you go. But… but there’s nothing we can do about it, to save, to save everyone…..”
It was none other than the mother who gave birth to me who cried abominably.
Ha, What a load of crap.
“It won’t be a bad story for you either. Your death will bring the family to glory and you will be forever honored as a hero.”
Even the first person I saw today was talking about being my fiancée.
I clicked my tongue looking at them
‘Every time I die like this, my first life came in mind.’
I wasn’t forced to die then.
‘It’s rude to compare it to dying for these bastards!’
I was proud at that moment.
But never in my dreams, I would imagine that there will be a next time.
‘No, even if you could imagine it, ninety-nine times is too much.’
It was a terrible disaster.
And what’s worse is that maybe it’s because she threw herself to save a friend in her first life, but then she was always thrown to death to save something afterwards.
Ninety-nine times. Until now continuously
‘If it’s only that, it would little less unfair.’
Honestly, isn’t it too unfair that I died not long after the college entrance exam?
But I’ve never reached 20 years old on those ninety-nine times.
You want me to stay in my teens forever or what?
‘I’m seventeen right now.
In short, My family was asking me, who was only seventeen to die
‘No matter how powerful you are, you really don’t have any conscience.’
When I was saving my friend, I was a very normal person.
Excited to play after the college entrance exam.
However, while continuing living like this, all kinds of mysterious powers were accumulated one by one, as if it were rewards.
‘Although There are far more hard times than rewards.’
Why don’t you tell them to save themselves with that power right now.
‘He’s afraid of his power, and he treats me like I don’t exist.’
Those people who forced sacrifice in the name of their family were less than my parents in my first life.
No, I always met such parents or family in the first place.
On the contrary, it was conscientious because the family in my life now was just cold-hearted and gave me enough food to not die.
I was so hopelessly unlucky.
Why was I forced to die as a sacrifice ninety-nine times?
The answer is that I kept being born only in such a rotten world.
A world on the brink of extinction. I can’t imagine what a peaceful world is like now.
It was so common and not surprising almost to lose one’s breath upon birth.
A place where brothers try to kill each other, a parent who kills every single one of their children, parents and relatives who are cold to me or tries to kill me because I’m cursed
A single truck was not enough.
‘I once expected to be okay next time until my fifth or sixth life.’
But it was ninety-nine times.
No matter how hopeful I was, I couldn’t help but to give up.
So, in fact, those disgusting words that forced me to die didn’t hurt me.
Just.
‘I think it’s time’
17 years, I thought I lived pretty averagely.
I had no regrets about life in the first place, but I knew this would happen, so I did not expect anything from them.
Even so, they were all thick-faced people.
Even though I was thinking about something else, they didn’t get tired and talked about it.
“If we could have done it, we would have been able to do it to you. How can you be so shameless? It’s for everyone. When you were born, you were the only hope to save the world!”
My mother complained with tears, seeing me not responding.
Do you usually leave the only hope in the world in a cold room?
“Please I beg. What? Do you want me to kneel down now?”
She snorted at the appeal of her brother.
Whether its cheap or expensive to beg for a life with just knees….
“Don’t you think it’s too brazen?”
Do we really have to sacrifice and save those kinds of people?
I talked with a look of annoyance.
“Why should I do all the good jobs for you guys?”
“Hey, sweetie.”
calling me, my mother’s face turned into a sudden embarrassment
Until now, I was just a daughter who kept her breath away in the little attic they gave me
Well, whatever I do, I just end up in a similar fate.
The tenacity of those who risked their lives was scary, so they were found somehow even if they ran away and hid.
Anyway, they seemed very surprised that I was wriggling while staying quiet as if I were dead.
“habits….”
“Maybe time for you to get in the habit?”
I looked at my father with a grin.
I fiddled with the sleeve end of the old dress and replied sourly.
“I’ll give you what you want.”
Well, it wasn’t hard.
It wasn’t sentimental enough to want everyone to die with me, and it was a world without that much attachment in the first place.
‘Well, I’m the only one who can’t help it.’
It’s better to not have lingering feelings anyway.
“As, as expected ……! You’re a sweet person-”
I stared at my open-mouthed fiance.
Then he couldn’t finish his sentence and shut up, perhaps because he was afraid of my gaze.
I guess I’ve been stuck in my room too much. Seeing that I’m not feeling well
I stretched out and said casually at them.
“I wish you all the best, that pathetic life you’ll never see.”
You’re saying the same thing. I never intended to be such a good daughter when I gave up my life, even if it didn’t mean much to me.
“What, what the hell are you talking about, you can’t lift your face-!”
I slowly lifted myself up without answering the question of my brother.
As soon as I raised my right hand, the staff who had been with me for a long time appeared with a familiar group of lights and a clanging sound.
I grabbed the staff and looked up at the sky towards the balcony.
It was colored with familiar colors of destruction.
It was an overwhelming power, but I wasn’t scared at all.
If I wanted to live, I wouldn’t be able to stop it, but if I put my life on the line, I’d have enough power to swallow it.
“Then, goodbye.”
She swung the staff.
The sense of driving the whole body to death penetrated as the power was exhausted like crazy. And
“That, that’s ridiculous… !”
“What have you done?”
‘”Right now, why don’t you quit right now, what is this…!’
I checked my gift and saw the shock on the faces of my family and fiance.
But I lived in the same house for 17 years, shouldn’t I give them a present?
I was happy to relay their atrocities to the world in a spectacular 4K surround sound.
“You don’t really want me to quit.”
since that would make your whole life easier
I smiled and waved at them.
Even if you lose your social dignity, in exchange for saving the world from extinction, It’s still cheap.
I slowly closed my eyes to a sense of swallowing.
Even their buzzing old voices were starting to fade.
The very familiar end was near.
‘Ah, it’s really annoying now.’
Didn’t you live long enough if you had lived for nearly 2,000 years?
Why do you want me to live again when you’re going to be put me in a trashy life every time?
‘Please, I hope this is the end. Three-digit numbers are too much.’
So I accepted my ninety-ninth death with a moment of peach, praying without expectation
Even if I didn’t expect it, I prayed very hard.
“The lady was born!”
ah….
I just started my 100th life.
