MIDV: Chapter 88

I rolled my eyes. Now that the question was turned on me, I was at a loss for words. It’s not like I’d ever had anything close to a romantic relationship before!

So I blurted out the first thing that came to mind.

“First of all, since I’m not used to being close to you, Your Highness, I think training that helps me get comfortable with that would be good. That way, it’ll look natural to others.”

“Like skinship?”

“…Yes.”

“High-efficiency, high-intensity skinship.”

Saying it aloud made it sound all the more bizarre.

Ludger remained silent for a moment, then gently cupped my cheek, turning my face towards him.

“Like, say, you trying sitting on my lap?”

“……!”

His bombshell of a comment made my entire body freeze.

Who… where, is supposed to sit where now?

“Wh-what on earth are you saying…..”

“Well, if we’re supposed to be lovers, isn’t it a normal thing to do?”

He wasn’t wrong. After all, the one who spouted off about high-efficiency, high-intensity training was none other than me. So this is what it feels like to be crushed under the weight of a disaster I brought upon myself……

That said, I couldn’t think of any other form of ‘high-intensity and high-efficiency skinship’ to suggest either.

Even though I was flustered, Ludger’s suggestion was precisely the kind of intense skinship that might actually help.

But even though I understood it in my head, actually processing it was a whole different matter. I nervously bit my lip, unsure of what to do, and lowered my gaze.

“Th-That, um, so…..”

“Mmhm.”

“Of course, I’m prepared for this! But may I… dare ask if it’s alright for me to sit on your lap, Young Duke?”

“Of course.”

Slowly, almost naturally, Ludger’s left hand slid over my shoulder. Eventually, his hand reached the tips of my fingers. Despite the gentle motion, his grip was firm, almost forcefully locking his fingers with mine and pulling my hand toward him.

Even though it wasn’t a particularly strong force, I was pulled toward him, and the distance between us closed in an instant. Before I knew it, his other hand found its place around my waist, pulling me even nearer until my upper body pressed lightly against his.

When I regained my senses, my upper body had tilted into his arms, as if I were fully nestled in his embrace. The familiar scent of greenery filled my lungs. My face was pressed against Ludger’s broad chest. The moment I realized this, I jolted in surprise and lifted my head.

Ludger’s face was inevitably close, his ethereal beauty filled my entire view. I wanted to escape into the comforting thought that this might all be a dream, but that was just wishful thinking.

His fingers, still tightly entwined with mine, gently tapped against my hand, as if urging me to move.

Unable to bear it any longer, I shouted loudly:

“I-I’ll change positions! I’m changing positions now!”

If I sat on Ludger’s lap while directly facing him like this, it was bound to end in utter disaster. Just imagining the outcome (?) made my face burn so hot, I thought it might cook itself.

“Why change positions?”

“I, I mean… the reason we’re doing this is so I can get used to being close to you, right?”

“Ah… yeah. I mean, technically, that was the idea.”

Ludger’s answer was oddly nonchalant, but I didn’t have the luxury to dwell on it. I armed myself with logic (?), or at least what sounded logical.

“Therefore, I’ve concluded that sitting face-to-face isn’t strictly necessary for the purpose of getting used to being close. So… I’ll sit facing forward!”

Ludger blinked a few times before bursting into laughter.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“…No, of course not. Alright. if that’s what you want. I’ll happily be your chair.”

‘Wait a second, had I really just asked the Duke of all people to be a chair?’

I had absolutely no intention of doing this, yet here I was, a humble, background knight commander, using the esteemed Young Duke as a chair. Was this really okay?

My mind became a mess again, but still, it seemed better than enduring a situation where I’d be face-to-face and stuck close to Ludger. It felt a bit irreverent, but he didn’t seem to mind, so maybe it was fine.

I took a deep breath before standing up from my seat. Ludger slowly let go of my hand and waist. It was a simple motion, yet the simple movement felt strangely intimate.

‘Is that the innate power of a romance novel’s secondary male lead? The original romance route may have failed, but…..’

Even while my mind was wandering, my body moved awkwardly. When I turned back to my spot and Ludger disappeared from view, a bit of the tension finally loosened.

“……!”

But before the tension could fully dissipate, Ludger grabbed my wrist. When I flinched, he quickly added as if to explain himself.

“I thought it might be safer if I held on, since you can’t see behind you.”

“R…. right.”

Truthfully, as a trained knight, I had more than enough balance and core strength to manage without help, but I couldn’t bring myself to admit that. Ludger didn’t really need to help.

At this point, I couldn’t help but feel a sense of self-loathing, wondering what I was even doing. But I couldn’t back down now.

Slowly, I lowered myself onto Ludger’s lap…. perching hesitantly on his knees. His thigh was solid beneath me, and it felt strange and yet somehow reassuring.

Finally, I rested my hips lightly on his firm knee. If Ludger were a chair, I was sitting near the edge, barely making contact.

“Captain, we’re too far apart.”

“Well… I think it’s fine like this?”

“It’s not fine.”

With a brief reply, Ludger brought one hand forward. He wrapped it around my upper body and pulled me toward him with force. Before I could even process what was happening, I was being pulled in.

“Isn’t this close enough?”

‘Ahhh… my ears! My ears!’

His soft whisper came from right next to me. It felt almost like torture.

“Yeah, this seems a bit better now.”

“……”

It took me a moment to realize, but my back was also pressed against him… I couldn’t bring myself to face the current situation with a clear mind.

Ludger let out a soft laugh as he stretched out his other arm and firmly pulled me more into an embrace.

“This is nice. Being your chair, I mean.”

“…Please don’t tease me.”

“I’m always sincere. I’m really enjoying this.”

Every time he spoke in that calm, gentle tone, warmth tickled around my ear. The tingling sensation and the way my skin prickled made it impossible to keep my composure.

“You seem completely tense. I can feel it in how stiff your body is.”

“Well, it’s nerve-wracking……”

“It’ll get easier with time.”

“….. Yes. I hope.”

I couldn’t keep repeating this embarrassing practice (?) forever. But… would there really come a day when I got used to it? Every time Ludger’s deep voice brushed against me from behind, my heart pounded like it was ready to explode.

A voice tinged with resentment slipped out before I could stop it.

“Your Highness, you seem perfectly at ease……”

“No, it’s not that I’m completely comfortable either.”

“Is it because I’m heavy?”

Ludger chuckled and shifted at my question. It felt strange and embarrassing to sense the vibration of his laughter directly through my back.

‘There was a time before… when I dreamed of this, too.’

Perhaps because he laughed a while earlier. But now, I was pressed up against Ludger far more closely than before. Really, I wouldn’t have imagined that in such a short time, we would become this close, or that there would be so little distance between us.

“No, it’s just, being this close to you..…”

Ludger lifted one hand from my waist and gently wrapped it around my wrist with a tender touch.

“I don’t know if I should say it’s a little exciting… or just awkward.”

Then he pulled my wrist toward his shoulder. Before I even had time to be startled and wonder what he was doing, a familiar warmth touched the back of my hand and quickly withdrew. Realizing he had just kissed it lightly, I yanked my hand away in shock.

“Please don’t tease me..…!”

“I’m not teasing you.”

“Then, please stop messing around.”

“But the fact remains that you need to get used to this kind of physical contact, Captain Clara.”

“……”

His words were embarrassing, but true. I always became hyper-aware whenever Ludger so much as brushed against me, even when he placed a formal kiss on the back of my hand. It was as if even the slightest touch set my nerves on edge.

Of course, as a Spirit user, it’s true that I’m more sensitive than most, but this has never happened with anyone else. It was only with him.

As I thought about it, a strange feeling, like something bubbling up inside my chest, began to surface again. Whenever I was with Ludger, I kept encountering these unfamiliar emotions.

I opened my mouth as if trying to shake off the stray thoughts.

“…Um, how long do we have to stay like this?”

“Until you stop feeling so stiff?”

“Even if I stayed here for a week, I don’t think I’d relax. I’m very stiff in this aspect.”

Hearing my response, Ludger laughed again. Even without hearing the sound of his laughter, I could sense from the vibration in my back that he was quite amused. It was really embarrassing.

“Well, that ties into what I was going to say.”

“About I’m too stiff?”

“No, put that aside for now. If you’re not used to me being this close..…”

He spoke slowly, as if carefully choosing his words…

He hesitated briefly before speaking.

“I’ve been thinking about what it would be like if you could consider living at the Duke’s residence.”