‘A benefactor… It might be an exaggeration to call me that. But I can also understand the great sense of responsibility he felt seeing me collapse.’
That must mean the trauma related to his parents’ death was significant. I couldn’t utter anything coherent because of the mixed sense of gratitude and guilt I felt.
“Um, then… Could you please inform the Young Duke to visit me when he returns home, even if it’s late? I have something to discuss.”
“Ah. In that case, I’ll arrange for you two to have dinner together. I’ll set it up in the bedroom, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”
“There’s no need for that….”
“Well, dinner is something that needs to be prepared nevertheless. I’d be glad if you two could have a comfortable conversation through that.”
I’ve been wondering about this for a while, but the butler was strangely kind to me. Well, it’s better than being looked down on for no reason.
“…Yes, thank you for your kind consideration.”
“You’re welcome. Please get some rest until the Master arrives.”
The time spent on rest was boring. Perhaps because I had passed out for two days, I couldn’t fall asleep again thanks to the extra sleep (?) I had.
‘I would rather start working….’
I really wanted to send a message to the Knights’ Office and get a briefing on what happened while I was away.
However, If I were to do that, Ludger would probably extend the confinement period by a week, so I would just have to endure it.
‘Wait a moment. Isn’t it great that I’m getting some days off? When have I become a voluntary slave?’
Has my long-term civil servant life finally taken control of my central nervous system?
That’s the most terrible and terrifying thought I had. Well, if I think about it, it’s not normal to talk about work right after being injured.
It’s better to focus on recovery. As I thought about it from the other person’s perspective, I started to understand a little why Ludger was angry.
As I continued to reflect deeply on my subservient mindset eroded by my public service persona, it was already evening.
A familiar, sweet voice was heard along with a regular knock.
“May I enter?”
“…Oh, yes. Please enter.”
I leaned against the head of the bed and waited for Ludger to enter.
He was impeccably dressed in a tailored suit, as if he had just left the office and came straight to my room. Even his commuting outfit was quite majestic, although he was just working.
“I heard briefly about your situation. I heard that you’re almost completely healed.”
“Yes! The healer assured me that I can move right away tomorrow…. morning….”
“….”
Ludger remained silent and just stared at me, but I could immediately read the meaning in his eyes. It must have been a silent warning, ‘Let’s see if you mention anything about work’.
So I vaguely trailed off the rest of the conversation and changed the subject.
“Has dinner been prepared?”
“Yes. The butler mentioned he would bring it for us. You said you had something to discuss with me?”
As I wondered why he still seemed so irritable after work, I realized he might be thinking I was trying to set up a situation for him to discuss my return to work. The assumption wasn’t completely wrong though, at least half of it.
“Pardon me, My Lord. I’ve brought dinner.”
“Come in.”
The timing was just right, and the food was quickly delivered. It was a bit embarrassing to have the Young Duke sitting at the small table next to the bed and eating while I was being served.
I tried not to pay attention and took small bites of the mashed potatoes.
“Would you like me to feed you?”
“Yes?”
“If you’d like, I can feed you.”
I gasped at those words and opened my mouth in shock. Has he lost his mind?
“No! It’s fine! Really! Everything’s fine! My limbs are perfectly fine.”
“Your words are deafening.”
“Well, that’s because the Young Duke offered something like that! Is Your Highness perhaps ill?”
“I’m not the patient here, you are.”
He didn’t seem to have much of an appetite, not touching the main dish and only moistened his lips with orange juice, speaking calmly.
“Even though you have regained consciousness, I heard that there’s a possibility that your limbs won’t be able to move properly for a while.”
“…I’m really fine. I thought the healer already confirmed it.”
“Yes. I know that your healing ability surpasses that of an ordinary person.”
To be honest, being unconscious for two days was something that seemed impossible by my standards.
“Nevertheless, what was it that Sir wanted to discuss?”
“Well, um. I wanted to apologize.”
“What?”
Ludger raised his eyebrows and stared at me. I continued speaking without avoiding his gaze.
“After calming my mind and reflecting all day…. I realized why His Highness the Duke was angry. It’s because the injured person was talking about work right after regaining consciousness instead of focusing on healing their injuries…”
“….”
“I understand when I think about it from the other person’s perspective. If one of my subordinate knights had done the same, I would probably have been angry and told them to just shut up and rest….”
Ludger remained silent. I continued speaking cautiously while watching his reaction.
“Therefore… I am reflecting on my mistake. I sincerely apologize and hope you’ll be able to forgive me.”
Ludger’s lime green eyes blinked several times. And then his expression became hazy.
“….Sir doesn’t need to apologize. I know that I was overbearing.”
“Huh?”
“Rather, I should be the one apologizing for not respecting you and giving you the order.”
I held my breath at the unexpected words. I just wanted to apologize to him and forgive me, but I never thought he would apologize to me in return.
“However….”
Ludger reached out with deep eyes. His hand brushing against my injured right hand.
His touch was careful, as if he were cautiously tracing a wound that had already healed.
“…Why doesn’t Sir like to take care of herself?”
My heart trembled for a moment.
It was because I remembered the dream I had this morning.
“From now on, I will definitely… treat myself as the most precious thing.”
The promise I made with the nameless boy by linking our fingers lingered in my mind.
Somehow, I felt as if I was being scolded for not keeping that promise, so I quickly came up with an excuse.
“Your Highness, I am a knight. I didn’t act because I don’t care about my life, but because it was my duty as a knight to do so.”
“I understand.”
Ludger stared into my eyes without even blinking, and for some reason, that alone made my heart tighten.
“I’m not denying the fact that Sir is a knight. It’s true that you did what you had to do.”
“Then….”
“But there must have been other ways to save people as a knight that weren’t so reckless, right?”
Ludger pressed my right palm firmly with his index and middle fingers. Even though the wound had already healed, I felt a momentary illusion as if an electric current had passed through me.
“When I mentioned the story of Captain Clara Weyburn holding a blade with blue sword energy, everyone who heard it was terrified.”
“….”
“They say that if your hand was completely gone, it’s impossible to recover unless a high-ranking healer like the High Priest comes. Was losing a hand your lifelong wish?”
“…That can’t be.”
My voice trailed off, as I understood what he was trying to point out. Ludger let out a long sigh.
“And…there was a choice. The choice to receive my help.”
“….”
“I hope this will not happen again in the future.”
“Um….”
As I hesitated to answer, Ludger furrowed his brow. I immediately offered an excuse.
“That! First of all, let me clarify this, it wasn’t an action done without any calculation.”
“…..”
“Of course, the reason I asked you, the Young Duke, not to intervene was because…. um, I tend to get a bit carried away in battle. However, I can assure you that every action I took during the fight was properly calculated.”
“…So the action of picking up a blade with your bare hands was also the result of your proper calculation?”
“Ah, of course, the broken sword was an unexpected situation. However, I picked it up because I was confident that I could withstand it by using my Spirit to protect my hand.”
“….”
“And if I hadn’t thought that in the first place, my fingers would have been severed as soon as I touched the blade.”
“Haa….”
“And about the blue sword energy… It’s a bit embarrassing to say this after I’ve already collapsed, but I’ve never fainted during the process of mastering the blue energy.”
“….”
“Therefore, in conclusion, I haven’t acted recklessly, prepared to sacrifice myself without any regard for others. I just want you to understand that.”
Ludger rubbed his forehead with his hand and lowered his head weakly.
“Really… I’ve thought about it for a while, but you’re truly unconventional in many ways, Captain Clara.”
“Perhaps because I’m a Spirit holder….?”
“No, even the most skilled Spirit users wouldn’t be as tough as you are.”
It was meant as a compliment, but strangely, it felt like an insult in context.
“Nevertheless, I understand that you acted because you saw a chance of victory. It feels a bit presumptuous to keep nagging you about this matter, so I’ll leave it at that.”
“….In the first place, if there had truly been no chance of victory, I would have asked the Duke for help. Because I also value my life.”
“Yes. It’s fortunate that Sir is a person who cares about herself.”
“Yes. Your Highness should know. If I were someone who would risk my life and devote myself to the spirit of chivalry, I wouldn’t have kept my mouth shut about the Duke’s secret. I can be quite cunning, you know.”
