IFLDMHF | Chapter 101

Episode 101

Euclid’s heart was overflowing with magical power, akin to a ticking time bomb.

From the moment of his birth, this power had constantly threatened his life. Especially when using magic, the pain was unbearable.

For someone who had lived so long in such a condition, it was rather strange for Euclid to dream of a normal marriage.

All he wished for was to endure long enough for his nephews and nieces to grow up and learn the secrets of the Rudion ducal family.

And he hoped to repay at least some of the family’s debts, leaving behind a household in a better state than before.

‘But to have married knowing from the start that I wouldn’t live long…’

How could he explain himself to Evgenia, who had entered this marriage with sincere intentions?

From the moment he accepted the marriage proposal from the Basilian ducal family, Euclid had become a sinner, unable to face Evgenia with a clear conscience.

Now, if he were to confess everything truthfully, that would be nothing but deception.

Under the guise of revealing the truth, he would simply be shifting all the burden onto Evgenia, when in reality, there was no way to undo what had already been set in motion.

‘Even now, I am still deceiving her.’

Euclid’s gaze sank heavily, filled with self-mockery.

It was meaningless, but if he were to make an excuse, this marriage was nothing like what he had imagined.

Evgenia was different from the person in the rumors.

Though awkward in expressing herself, she was responsible, kind, and an incredibly good person—to both his family and himself.

‘Would it have been better if she had been a bad person?’

Perhaps that was why he was having such shameless thoughts.

If she had truly been the wicked woman people spoke of—one obsessed with the crown prince, indulging in extravagant misdeeds—then even if his nieces and the ducal household had been disappointed and hurt at times, the ending wouldn’t have felt this terrifying.

Even if he were to die, she would have been nothing more than a political partner in a marriage of convenience. She would have left the duchy without regret and started anew. Then, he might not have felt this overwhelming guilt or remorse.

But when he tried to picture such an Evgenia, he felt something sharp and suffocating tearing through his insides.

In the end, even if it left him feeling helpless and troubled… Euclid could only admit that he was relieved that Evgenia was as she was now.

It wasn’t because she had helped him repay the debts so quickly, nor because she had made him realize the struggles of his nephews, which he had been unaware of.

Perhaps it was because, on their first night, he had heard her say that she had completely given up on her feelings for the crown prince.

Sometimes, Euclid found himself lost in strange thoughts he couldn’t fully understand.

Evgenia’s warm gaze, the way her face would light up as if excited, her words that might sound cold but carried undeniable kindness.

All of it made him feel as if she was giving those things only to him.

‘It must be an illusion…’

N/*slap* No it’s NOT

He knew it in his mind, yet his heart wavered uncontrollably.

A sense of danger settled in.

If he stayed like this, she would inevitably swallow him like a tidal wave and drag him into the deep waters. And by the time that happened, he might not even be in his right mind.

‘No, perhaps I’m already a little mad.’

Euclid let out a self-deprecating smile.

In truth, it wasn’t just once or twice that he had found himself staring blankly at Evgenia, even during meetings or formal discussions.

Though his face wasn’t particularly expressive, if one observed closely, it was surprisingly easy to read emotions in his soft lavender eyes and the slight upward curve of his red lips. He simply couldn’t look away.

At those moments, his fingertips would tense unconsciously.

Had he lost focus even a little, he might have unknowingly reached out to cup her pale face, wanting to warm it.

Since birth, he had been unusually mature and calm, his demeanor growing even more detached as he became aware of his body’s condition and surroundings.

That was why this impulse—something akin to a lovesick adolescent or a fever—was an emotion Euclid had never experienced before.

He had yet to put a name to what he was feeling.

He thought he might have an idea of what it was… but he refused to acknowledge it.

Instead, he desperately avoided spending time alone with Evgenia, as if that would be enough to suppress everything.

Even though he knew avoiding her wasn’t a real solution, it was the only thing he could do for now.

But unfortunately, everyone in the Rudion ducal household was on Evgenia’s side.

Not only Delano, who had advised him not to push her away.

— My lord, Lady Marianne and Lord Dior will be spending time with the madam in the central courtyard until dinner. The duke has requested personally escort her to the dining hall before the meal.

Even his most precious nieces and nephews were eager to see him and Evgenia together.

Evgenia didn’t seem to have caught on, but the children were subtly working to create a good atmosphere between the two.

They would teasingly walk ahead of them, or pretend to yawn and doze off even when they weren’t sleepy.

At times, they would whisper among themselves, sigh, and say things like, “Well, there’s no helping it. Uncle has to try harder.”

Compared to Evgenia, who had effortlessly become the most important person in their hearts, he seemed terribly lacking.

Euclid, too, believed that Evgenia was far too good for him, so he didn’t feel resentful about it.

He could only feel bitter that he couldn’t become the affectionate figure his nieces wished for.

Recalling the head maid’s expectant voice as she delivered his nieces’ message and the butler’s pleased smile beside her only made his chest feel even tighter.

With such a heavy heart, he walked through the corridor and arrived at the central courtyard.

That was when Euclid, upon seeing the scene before him, unknowingly stopped in his tracks.

His nieces were never the type to play noisily, so he had already found it odd when he heard they were spending time in the courtyard.

Perhaps he had expected to hear their bright, cheerful laughter.

However, what reached his ears instead was the crisp sound of clapping, the quiet shuffle of footsteps moving cautiously…

And—

“H-here?”

Evgenia’s voice, filled with tension, reached him as she waved her arms blindly, her forehead, as pale as ivory, exposed beneath the soft silk scarf that covered her eyes.

At that moment, Marianne, wearing a mischievous smile, ran toward Euclid, clapped her hands sharply, and quickly darted away.

Hearing the sound, Evgenia flinched and turned her body in that direction, arms still outstretched.

It was only then that Euclid grasped the situation.

It seemed they were playing a game where one person, blindfolded with a scarf, had to guess the others’ positions by listening to the sound of clapping.

Euclid watched as Evgenia moved toward him, yet his feet refused to budge, as if they were rooted to the ground.

No, rather… it felt as if he was unconsciously holding his breath, waiting for her to come closer.

He neither thought to evade her nor considered stepping forward himself.

Then, just as her steps slowed slightly, as if she had lost her sense of balance, Evgenia stumbled forward, only a few steps away from him.

Instinctively, Euclid reached out and caught her.

Perhaps thinking he was Marianne or Dior, Evgenia startled—then, without warning, threw her arms tightly around him.

At that moment, Euclid’s mind went completely blank.

Just for this instant, all his prior resolutions, all his thoughts of how dangerously Evgenia was shaking his resolve, disappeared.

Even his worries about the future—whether those left behind would be able to endure her absence and the emptiness when she eventually left the duchy after his death—vanished completely.

Instead, as he felt his own heart pounding so painfully it almost hurt, he realized something utterly shocking that he had never acknowledged before.

‘Why… why didn’t it hurt this time?’